I will give a little explanation, because in this chapter Giselle meets a human girl - she may seem to have little relevance to the story, but I can tell you this is the main character of my other story, The Girl Behind the Glamour, and they interconnect. If you want to know what it is that River gives Lise, then you'll have to read the other story :). It also gives a view of Giselle from an outsider, which some might find interesting...

13. Fascination

There was a knock at the door sometime after lunch a few days later, the sound reverberating throughout the house. River wouldn't get it. I would. Of course I would. I took my time, getting through the house to the front lobby. I assumed it would be some sort of faery or creature looking for River. For a magical cure. A magical power. It was always magical. I hated it.

Instead of the faery face I expected as I opened the door, I met the eyes of a human girl. She was pale, her eyes sunken in her face, looking gaunt. Long dirty blonde hair that fell about her shoulders and contrasted her soft, wavy green eyes. She wore ripped jeans that trailed behind her, covered in dirt and dust, and a loose – obviously second hand – t-shirt that had a promotional logo on it. She was pretty, but she looked as if she were homeless, and possibly affected by drugs. An old leather jacket, which looked like a man's, was thrown over her shoulders. Patches had been cut out, stained and burnt. She was my age, but so unlike me. She looked strong, and hardened, as if she'd endured things and not caved like I had. I hated myself even more. This girl would never end up in a situation like this. Wanting a faery she could never have.

"I need help," she told me. Her voice was rusty, like a heavy smoker's might be. She had a dirty red ribbon tied around her neck, a rusty silver wire around her wrist that sat just above a tattoo that said Lise in a delicate font, and mismatched earrings in her ears.

I nodded, not saying anything, waiting.

"I'm looking for River. I've heard that he has the power to help me," she finished.

"What is your name?" I asked.

"Lise."

"I'm Giselle." I turned, beckoning her to follow. "Do you have…?"

"The Sight?" she finished. "Yeah."

"I see." I nodded. So did that mean she'd be as screwed up as me?

"Why are you here?" she asked, hesitant, as if she was unsure if she was being rude.

"I work for River," I told her.

"By choice?" She sounded amazed.

"Hardly," I muttered. I could almost hear the pity coming off her. She knew what had happened. She'd guessed. I wondered if pleading for her to save me would help. But grovelling rarely did.

I led Lise through the many halls of the palace, each one decorated with paintings of the maids, or landscapes seen through the glazed glass of my bedroom. I took Lise to a drawing room in the back of the house where I knew River would be, knocking before entering. The girl seemed hardly amazed by the house, but then I'm not sure why that surprised me. I'd guessed she'd been seeing the sinister beauty of the faery world for longer than I had.

"This is Lise," I told River, Lise standing behind me "She needs help." I moved and Lise caught sight of the River. She seemed interested, as she looked River up and down. No fear or panic or shock registered on the girl's face. I wasn't sure if I should be worried of that or not.

"Lise," the River extended his hand. "I am River."

Lise took his hand. "Yes, I know."

"Giselle," River said, looking at me as he sat, gesturing for Lise to sit in the chair opposite, "perhaps you could get us some refreshments."

"Oh, no," Lise shook her head. "I don't eat fey food." This surprised me. Why wouldn't she eat fey food?

River gave a soft laugh. "I do not eat fey food either. Giselle will prepare human food. You have no need to worry."

"I see," Lise answered. That was my que to leave.

I went to the kitchen and just grabbed some snacks, too lazy to make anything nice. I arranged them on a serving tray, and then got a quick drink of water. The arrival of Lise had somewhat shaken me. The faery world was so much more than I knew. I could see that. This girl, she was so different to anything I knew. She understood the faery world. But there was one thing we had in common. She resented fey, just like I did. A reoccurring pattern.

I walked back to the drawing room River and Lise had been in. As I entered, River stood. He regarded me for a moment and Lise looked uncomfortable. I looked up and River caught each my gaze. A look of pain washed over River quickly and left just as fast. I could have easily persuaded myself to believe it wasn't there at all. I felt sick. Sick to know how much I wanted him. It was so pathetic. I was nothing more to him than a slave. And I hated myself for wanting any more than that. How could a human fall for a faery? I wondered what Lise would think.

The moment passed and I waited. River handed Lise a sheet of paper. I wasn't sure what would be on it, but I didn't really care. I didn't want to know.

"This is where you must go. If no one is there, follow any trail you can find. You will not receive your payment without any information," River told her. Information? Information I couldn't get? Or perhaps information he didn't want me to get.

"I understand. Thank you."

"Do not thank me yet. I have not given you anything except an address." River paused, looking at me. I figured I wasn't supposed to be in the room. My posture was stiff, and I kept my eyes on the painting on the wall. Just another maiden. "Giselle, could you please lead our guest out. This place can be a trap."

"Don't I know it," I muttered under my breath.

River turned his head sharply, but didn't say anything.

"Thanks," Lise said again, to no one really. I left the room, not looking back to see if Lise were following.

"Why weren't you scared of him?" I asked as I guided Lise out of the house.

"I've seen a lot worse than him," she told me. This girl obviously was only a little saner than I was. I mean, she was visiting scary monsters as if it were a normal thing.

"You've had the Sight forever?" I guessed.

Lise nodded. "My mother and grandfather killed themselves because of it." Okay, this girl had obviously been through a lot. Having the Sight really messes people up. I was evidence enough of that.

"I had fey blood injected into me. I have the Sight by accident. My human sight was stolen from me," I said. I didn't look at her and kept my voice monotone.

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, so am I."

"Perhaps, now that you have the Sight, I could give you some… tips, on the fey world," Lise offered.

I stopped, turning, considering her carefully. "Why?" Why would this girl want to help me? I'm nothing short of pathetic, and trapped.

"It's the only way I can think to help," Lise answered honestly. I nodded slowly. "Well," she began, "fey don't like iron. It will kill them. They can't lie. They can trick and deceive, but not lie. It often makes them more dangerous. Fey food will also kill. Humans can't eat it. You will become trapped if you do-"

"Am I not already trapped?" I said tonelessly. Still, what she'd said explained some things. Why River had trouble leaving the iron confines of his mansion.

"Well, you eat fey food and the fey have complete control over you. It would be worse than now."

I bobbed my head. "Anything else?"

"Dancing with faeries can be dangerous. They will often dance with humans till death. Though usually those with the Sight are affected less. And, faeries dislike humans immensely. Usually they are used as toys. Or more accurately, amusement." I'd danced with River in my dreams and almost in reality. Somehow I felt like River wasn't the same as most fey.

"Yes, I'm entirely aware of that." Again, I was toneless.

Lise looked scared for me. "Has River ever…?" She couldn't bring herself to say it. I knew what she meant though. Had he raped me?

My gaze flicked up. "No. Only in my nightmares."

We were back in the foyer and I nodded towards the huge wooden doors.

"I'll be back soon." Lise said it as if she were reassuring me. There was little reassurance from a human girl who had the Sight. I nodded.

"Be… safe. This is Natsu Court territory. Don't piss off any faery. I've heard the Natsu Queen isn't forgiving. Especially at the moment."

"Yeah, I know," Lise said as she pushed the door open. "I've met her.'

This startled me. Lise had definitely led a more faery orientated life.

I walked back to the drawing room, finding River still there, reading in the same armchair. He looked up at me and looked to the dishes. I moved to them.

"I am going to get something from south wing."

I nodded. "Do you need anything from me?"

"No. Except that after that I am going to sleep," River informed me as I cleared away his dishes. "Lise will return soon. There is no need to wake me, I should be awake by that time."

I nodded. River paused, looking at me carefully, then left the room.

Later, I stepped into his room and closed the door gently behind me. River was sprawled out on the bed like a peaceful, hideous doll. I imagined that it was my prince instead of a monster and I couldn't help but move closer to the bed. When I was standing over him, I projected the image of my prince onto his face. It matched so perfectly I had to touch his face to make sure it was real. As soon as my hand felt the scratchy skin, the illusion was ruined. River woke so quickly, I almost cried out. He grabbed my hand and sat up, eyes unfocused and confused.

"Is there something wrong?" he asked, alert.

"No," I told him softly. He frowned, letting go of my hand and rubbing his face roughly. I wasn't sure what had compelled me to go into his room. It was stupid.

"What are you doing? You startled me."

"I'm sorry," I said. River looked at me, sitting up and beginning to get out of bed. His chest was bare and I could see all the outlines of the veins in his pale skin and the contours of his muscles. He still had some raw red teeth marks from the hounds. River stood and moved to a chest of drawers, removing a shirt and slipping it over his head.

"You should not be here," he said, not facing me. He leant forward on the chest of drawers, his hands holding him up, the muscles in his arms all the more visible.

"I know," I answered.

"Then why are you?"

"Because… I wanted to see you."

"Giselle," River sighed, finally turning around to face me. He leant back on the chest of drawers and ran a hand through his hair. "This… fascination is not good for you. It is dangerous."

"River, you can't tell me you don't want it too," I said.

"That is beside the point!" River yelled suddenly, startling me. "What I want does not mean anything. There have been many things I have wanted and could not have over the years. I will not take advantage of you."

"But you wouldn't be."

"Yes, I would. You, Giselle, are not mentally stable. You may think you are, but you are not. You want to be with a monster." River laughed bitterly. "That is not normal."

"So you're saying you don't want me because I'm crazy?"

"No, I am saying I am not going to take advantage of you."

"You aren't taking advantage of me. River, my life has sucked for a long time. But when you're nice to me… well, things suck a little less." I moved closer to River. He wouldn't meet my gaze.

"I was the one who made your life… suck," he said, tasting the strange word in his mouth.

I took his hand and placed it on my face. "And I'm dealing with it the only way I know," I answered.

"You shouldn't have to 'deal with it'." River sighed and looked at me carefully. I dropped my hand from his, his marble blue eyes holding me. His cold, scratchy hand touched my temple, fingers light as a whisper on my cheek. He ran his hand along the side of my face, to my lips, where he traced the shape with care. He moved his fingers away from my lips, running them along my jaw, down my neck, resting on my collarbone. The coarseness of his fingers tickled me lightly, making me shiver.

"Are you cold?" River asked, not moving his had from my neck.

"No," I said.

"You are too beautiful," Rive said softly, his face leaning into mine. He touched my eyebrows, then my eyelids and the top of my cheekbones. "Your hair." He felt it carefully, letting some slip through his fingers. "Copper – the scent of dusk," he murmured, breath on my forehead. "Your skin." River played his fingers over my forehead. "Fair – the shine of moonlight." Then he ran two fingers over my nose and back to my lips. "Your eyes are almost silver. And your lips…" River sighed. "Your lips are too tempting."

"Tempting?" I questioned.

"I have not held a woman in my arms for many years. And your lips tempt me so. Tempt me too much."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"I do not hurt maids I keep. I cannot force them to do such a thing. Something that would repulse them so."

"And if I told you it wouldn't repulse me. That you wouldn't be forcing me."

"I would ask you not to tempt me any more. My control is worn thin just by being with you, Giselle."

"Then don't worry about it," I said softly, River looked at me desperately, as if to say, please don't make me do this, even if I sincerely want to. I tilted my head toward him, encouraging him. River's head bent toward me, blue lips brushing over mine. I responded a little too enthusiastically, pressing my body on River and opening my mouth for him. River's hands suddenly tightened on me. It was now obvious he hadn't kissed – or touched – a woman in a long time. He might have been magic, but he still had male instincts. Instincts that were deeply ingrained. I pressed on River harder, deepening the kiss as far as he would let me. I felt River's body shudder against me, and I relinquished in his touch. His hands grabbed me by the neck and held tight. I knew River was fairly new – or perhaps he'd been out of practice – to this, so I was the one to move my lips from his mouth and to his neck, down to his collarbone. River groaned and his fingers tightened on my waist and back.

Then, he pulled back abruptly. "No," he said, pushing me away, breaths coming deep and uneven.

"Why?" I asked, rejection stinging my eyes and making them fill with tears.

"Because I told you, I do not force myself – what I am – on others. It is wrong." River pushed me away gently. "You deserve – as the others did – more than me. So much more. It is not fair for me to do this to you. To anyone."

"Is it so hard to believe that I want you for what you are?" I asked, suddenly frustrated. River's head snapped up in such a quick moment it almost scared me.

"Do not say that," River said abruptly, pushing me away.

"Why? It's the truth."

"Go away, Giselle."

"Huh?"

"Go back to your room."

"I-"

"I said, go!" River almost yelled. I stumbled away from him, embarrassed and ashamed. Then, there was a knocking at the door. I jumped. River sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "I am sorry I yelled. Just get the door, Giselle. It will be Lise. I will be waiting in the west wing."

I nodded, almost running out of the room and to the front door, which wasn't all that far away.

I opened the door, Lise standing on the doorstep.

"Couldn't stay away?" I tried to joke. It sounded wrong. I wondered what I looked like to this girl.

"Don't mean to be rude, but I don't have much time. Please." Lise looked a little scared. I suppose that was why she was here. For help.

I just nodded, not saying anything. I turned and once again led Lise through the labyrinth of halls and rooms. I took her to a room much closer to the entrance, but again, it was a small drawing room. River was sitting in a large armchair, a small glass bottle placed on the coffee table in front of him. The liquid inside was a vile black, almost looking like syrupy ink. But, even though the black was viscous and thick, rainbow colours filtered through in the light, just like an oil slick, the magic making me dizzy.

"I have held my end," River said, nodding at the vile in the table, "now you must hold yours."

"I found out…" Lise paused, checking to see if I was behind her. I turned, knowing this was not a conversation I was allowed in on. As I was walking away I heard River say,

"She has gone to her room. Please, continue."

"Giselle," I heard River call softly from somewhere by the path. I stepped out of the garden and into view. River's expression looked pained, his ridged eyebrows coming together, deathly blue lips pursed. I'd been under the shade of the rainforest of trees in the garden reading. It was late, and I thought River had wanted me to come inside, but he seemed too worried for that to be the case.

"What's wrong?" I asked. His posture was stiff and rigid. Out of habit my jaw clenched just a little in anticipation. I walked up the path standing a few feet away from River, not sure what to do with my hands. I closed the book I was reading and held with both hands, just so I had something to do.

"Your brother is sick," River said stiltedly. I felt my expression go blank. My mind went into shut down mode as it subconsciously withdrew all the memories of my family. My hands clenched on the spine of my book.

"Why are you telling me?" I asked.

"You needed to know."

"No. I didn't. I don't. I don't need updates. I don't want to know." I felt something beginning to crack inside of me. I did want updates. I wanted to know what was going on. I wanted to know if my mother still wore the pearls I gave her when I came back from my beach trip with Mix. I wanted to know if Adam still spent all his time flirting, dumping or talking to girls. I wanted to know whether my dad still teased us – Adam – about our – his – love lives – life.

No! I had blocked out those memories for so long. I had done well. I hadn't dreamt about them for so long. The burning in my lungs and stinging behind my eyes was leaving. I was getting better.

"Yes, Giselle, you do want to know," River told me. The barrier holding up my questions and memories was breaking. No, no, no. "And you need to know-"

"No," I said so softly it was barely more than an exhale of breath. My hands went limp and I dropped my book, it landing face down, pages bending in the dirt. River took a step towards me, ignoring my book, and taking my hands into his. The scratchiness of his skin was soothing.

It scared me. It scared me how much I wanted him – and how much I knew it.