Chapter Five: Spelling and Grammar with Utau
"We're live in ten seconds!"
At least let me finish my lunch!
SLURP!
"Miss Hoshina...?"
What?
"Er, nothing at all, Miss Hoshina."
Thought so.
"And we're live!"
Hi, I'm Hoshina Utau, and I'll be talking with you today about a growing problem that's occurring not just in Japan, but the world. I promise that by the end of this chapter, I'll have turned you into a much better writer.
Listen to me because I'm smarter than you. Got it?
I'm pretty much tired of those craptastic Amuto stories. I'm sure some of you have seen some?
It's not just Amuto stories. It's Kutau, too. You guys should at least make me amazing in the story. As for Kukai, ah, who cares if he sucks? As long as I'm better than him, which I am.
Anyhoo, I think you all have a small clue of what I'm talking about.
Spelling and grammar.
You learn it in school, I'm sure. It's a necessity in your daily lives.
"Um, Miss Hoshina? What if you're not a writer?"
My manager isn't paying you to talk. She's paying you to direct and man the camera.
"Yes! I-I'm truly sorry, Miss Hoshina!"
Hm. I guess I'll let you off the hook. This time.
Anyways, as I was saying: spelling and grammar. It's important.
Learn how to do it or your story will be roasting over a campfire.
There are a couple easy, important steps that you can take if you're struggling with this.
Ahem, Amuto writers, I would get out a pen and some paper right about now. (No offense to the very few good writers.)
One: You should own a dictionary of some sort.
It doesn't matter if it's an actual dictionary or if you just have access to Internet to look up words. If you don't know how to spell a word, don't just put it in your story and assume you're right. Type it into Google and they'll always have this blue link that says, "Did you mean...?" and then the correct word.
The bottom line is: Spelling is so stupidly easy to fix, so I don't know why you guys manage to mess it up. The problem might be that you guys use gigantic words to make you seem like a better writer.
It's easier if you use simple vocabulary that still makes your story awesome.
Oh, and no chat-speak. It's a story; you're not chatting with your best friend on Facebook. But I'll admit that I use chat-speak when I'm online.
None of this: "i luv u.", "omg!" (Unless of course it's Yaya speaking), "hay lets hang out 2morrow at the mall. its gunna b so fun!"
Really? Are you speaking to hay? You wanna hang out with bales of hay at the mall?
That's a new one.
"Miss Hoshina?"
What now?
"I have a p-phone call for you!"
Give me that.
Hello?
Ikuto?
What?
I'm in the middle of a show!
...Why didn't you tell me sooner? Are you neglecting your sister? Hm. You didn't meet any European girls, did you?
Huh? Oh, I'll put you on speaker.
Ikuto, say hi!
"Who am I talking to?"
The world.
"Oh. Hey."
"Utau? What are you doing here?"
Amu? Weird seeing you.
"Heh, Amu's there?"
"Eeeh? Who said that? Was that Ikuto? I didn't know he was back!"
Calm down and stop looking around. He's not here. Wait, Amu!
"Where is she?"
...She ran away.
"M-Miss Hoshina! The show!"
Oh, right. I have to go, Ikuto. See you soon.
"Yeah."
CLICK!
Where was I?
Something about chat-speak...right! It's time for the next step.
Two: Use Spell-check.
Okay, so it's not right one hundred percent of the time, but it's pretty good.
Red squiggly lines mean that the word is spelling wrong.
Green squiggly lines mean that the phrase has improper grammar.
Pretty simple.
Three: GET A BETA.
If you don't know what that is, it's basically another author who edits and reads your stories. They help you a lot.
You can send a PM to basically anyone you want for a beta, but check their profile first to see if they're accepting requests. They're extremely helpful. Get one.
Hey, if I'm in a good mood, maybe I'll do it for you.
I said "maybe," so don't get your hopes up. I'm busy and I HAVE a life.
"Miss H-Hoshina?"
What? And stop stuttering on my name. It makes my name sound less cool.
"Truly sorry, Miss Hoshina! But I have another phone call for you!"
Tell them I'm busy.
"R-Right away! Yes, she's busy."
"But Utau-chan says that she always has time for me! Let Yaya talk to her!"
Yaya? Oh, just put it on speaker.
"Of course!"
BEEP!
Hey, Yaya, what's up?
"Yaya has a big emergency!"
Oh my gosh, what happened?
"Yaya can't decide what to wear tomorrow!"
...
"Hello? Utau-chan? Did we lose connection? PAPA, MY PHONE'S BROKE! MAMA!"
No, I'm here.
"Oh, phew! Yaya was worried for a second!"
So hold on, you need me to help you pick your outfit?
"Uh, yeah, that's what Yaya said!"
And that's it?
"That's it!"
Hang up. Now.
"Miss Hoshina needs to get back to important business. Sorry!"
"What's more important than-?"
CLICK.
You know what? Put my phone on silent.
"Yes, right away! Erm, is it this button? Oops, I went to the messages. Um, let's see..."
Give me my phone.
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. CLICK.
It's so hard to find good work these days.
Continuing on...
Four: Know the difference.
When I say that, I'm talking about words like "there", "their", and "they're." These are the most commonly misused words on Fanfiction.
People don't know how to use them correctly. You guys should know which word to use in the situation. Here are some examples:
'Kukai, Yaya, and Ikuto just ran twelve miles. THEY'RE exhausted.' "They're" is a contraction. It stands for "they are," so know how to use it.
'Tadase and Kairi lost THEIR pants. Luckily, Amu returns the lost pants to them.' Okay, who made up these sentences?
No one's confessing? Fine. "Their" is possessive. It shows possession.
'Rima and Nagihiko left it THERE.' God, I don't even wanna know anymore. The word "there" refers to a place.
Five: Be punctual.
Punctuation seems hard, but it's not.
Mainly, it's the commas that mess people up.
Guys, they're just little lines. Don't let those lines rule your life.
Do you see the three sentences above? Look at how I used the commas.
Commas are for breaks in a sentence. Instead of, "Hey Utau." you should do, "Hey, Utau."
See the difference?
Commas should also come before...ah, what was it? Prepositions? No. Adverbs...no.
Conjunctions! That's the word I'm looking for.
Examples of conjunctions are: and, but, or, yet, for, nor, so
Those little words will save your life in stories. They join together two sentences or ideas.
Remember them. I'll be watching.
BUZZ. BUZZ. BUZZ.
I thought I put my phone on silent?
Hello?
Who is this?
Hatsune Miku? No, I'm sorry. I've never heard of you.
"Hey, Utau! Who's your buddy working the camera?"
Shut up, Kukai! I'm on the phone! What? Sorry, I was just yelling at my...what'd you say?
"What's up, Camera Dude?"
"Oof!"
Kukai...did you just make him drop a very expensive camera?
"I wasn't here! Later!"
I'll call you back...what was your name again?
"I'm ruined! RUINED!"
READ? :)
Wow, it's been like two and a half months.
-tumbleweed rolls by-
Honestly, it was two things. Laziness and writer's block.
Both are pathetic excuses, I know. :p Cut me some slack, though, it's harder than you think.
I hope that Utau isn't out of character. I tried really hard, but I don't have much practice with her.
TELL ME WHAT YOU GUYS THINK! :D Your guys' opinions matter so much to me and I swear, I read every review a couple times. :)
This time around, I'll try replying to all the reviews. I think it's kinda important. And sometimes, you guys have questions and I don't answer them. I feel crappy. -_-
The next chapter will be none other than HINAMORI AMU. Sorry, no votes this time. I already planned it out and such.
REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. I'm really happy with how this story is turning out.
You guys are all awesome-tastic!
Happy Late Valentine's Day? :]
~Sky-chii