After much time passed with dwelling over the death of Lumina's parents, the cousins managed to find a moment of peace in each other's comfort. However, this period of ease was brief as it came closer to the special diner recital, and the aspiring pianist had to use some time to prepare.
"Elli… I'd like it if you could join me downstairs again…"
"Lumina? What for?"
"I… I want to have an extra ear with me for practice…"
"…Okay…"
With Elli's agreement, the two young maidens met downstairs at the piano: a considerable source of Lumina's mixed feelings. As the young lady firmly laid her bottom upon the cushiony rest, her fingers stretched with anticipation as her eyes gazed wearily, yet intently at the written notes in front of her. She then took a moment to briefly rest her eyes while she softly inhaled a portion of air, which she slowly released with a hint of a seemingly depressed sigh subtly mixed within a typical exhale.
Before the young musician could finally pound on her keys of ebony and ivory, the enthusiastic listener scanned the piece herself and blinked curiously.
"That song? But… isn't that the exact same one Auntie Romania has you practicing day in and day out?" Elli asked curiously.
Lumina nodded coolly. "Yes it is. It's one of Grandma's personal favorites, so she insists I master this piece. I have a feeling she's using this diner recital as an excuse to test my progress on it as well." She then let out a groan before she continued speaking.
"She's always nagging me on getting the "feel" of this song down. I personally think I perform it decently on a technical scale, but overall… I don't think I'm doing all that great on it." She confessed.
"Oh, I don't think you'll sound terrible. From what Auntie Romana tells me, you've been doing a good job in practice, so I'm really looking forward to hearing you play!" Elli said with earnest encouragement.
Lumina couldn't help but smile at her cousin's optimistic contribution. "Alright, then. I'll just have to put forth my best effort into it." She replied before curling up her fingers in playing form.
Immediately, her fingers stroke key after key as she kept her visual focus on the notes. For awhile, the young pianist nailed each note precisely and timely. Elli simply sat back and enjoyed Lumina's expert rendition in satisfaction.
"I don't get it." The young nurse thought to herself, "How could anyone critique this wonderful playing so harshly? Auntie Romania must be too harsh on the poor girl…"
Throughout the song, the music seemed to flow just fine. Lumina retained her keen focus on the music with little difficulty, until she felt her fingers start to fumble by themselves. At this time, she unconsciously hit a few wrong notes that Elli didn't seem to notice; however, the string of errors began to increase, and Lumina became consciously aware of her fallacy. Gradually, her playing slowed down to retain a controllable pace. Although she regained the flawless accuracy she had in the beginning of her song, Lumina still felt disappointment within herself as she heard the usual gripes her Grandmother made about her playing.
It had little flow of its own.
It was too "staccatoed", too precise.
It was like an automaton playing.
Lumina finally finished her song, but her head was lowered in personal shame. Elli watched back, still believing her cousin performed exceptionally, but Lumina's disappointment rang clear to her, so she couldn't bring herself to applaud.
"Lumina, are you okay? I… I can't really tell if you messed up during the playing or not. I actually thought that was quite good…"
"Thank you, Elli, but…. I'm going to deal with a very tough crowd. They have very high expectations of me, and I have a bad feeling they'll pick me apart even worse than Grandma." Lumina sighed.
"What?! But that doesn't sound fair!" Elli cried with anger and concern.
Lumina nodded. "It isn't… but that's high society for you. I'm preparing myself for tonight, much like you have been doing, in order to save face in front of my Grandmother's acquaintances. But in my case, I HAVE to strive for perfection. Do you understand? That is what they expect from someone of experience." She explained.
Those heavy words sank in quickly for the young nurse. Despite being the one unfamiliar to ladylike customs, she understood very well that the well-acquainted Lumina was in a far worse predicament. Although Elli will have to be "performing" every moment to keep up an acceptable appearance to the visiting aristocrats, she has a better chance of being forgiven for her screw-ups. This is a far cry for Lumina, whose one performance could very well make or break her.
Unfortunately, it was also Lumina's constant world of stress that always made the relatively carefree Elli distant from her cherished cousin.
Lumina momentarily glanced at the piano keys with an intense stare as she meticulously calculated each fault in her playing. She then turned to her cousin with a solemn look in her eyes.
"Elli… I must know… did you ever once felt yourself lost in the music as I played?" Lumina asked seriously.
The nurse looked puzzled by this question.
"L-lost? In the music?" Elli asked.
"Yes. What I mean to say is… does your mind wander? Do you feel this fantasy unravel as the song plays out?" Lumina clarified.
Although Elli was still somewhat confused by the point of the question, Elli shook her head slowly and dubiously. "Ah… no…." she said in a very careful voice. "I wanted to make sure I was paying careful attention to your playing, so of course it would be rude to daydream! And like I said, your playing is wonderful!" she explained.
For a brief moment, Lumina grinned with amusement as she heard Elli's rationale, but her personal burden was still too much for her to cheer up completely.
""A true musician should be able to evoke daydreams from her audience effortlessly".
That is what Grandma always tells me when I practice." Lumina replied softly.
Elli gasped. "…D-did I say something wrong, then?" she thought to herself nervously.
Lumina shook her head, as if she could read Elli's thoughts by that one expression alone. "Don't worry, I completely understand. You were just trying your best to observe your playing."
Elli nodded slowly. "B-but… I still wasn't affected in the way you wanted me to be…. I…"
"It's okay." Lumina firmly assured her.
"Alright. If that's what you insist." Elli replied with a hint of concern.
Lumina let out another sigh before pounding her right hand on a few piano keys. "It's just… I always feel so high-strung whenever I'm at the piano. I mean, there was a time I actually came enthralled with my playing, but Grandmother has pushed me so much. I think this developed stress has taken its toll on me. Whenever I play, my eyes HAVE to be on the piece, and my fingers MUST hit each and every key with precision."
Her body began to shake again as stress began to overtake her. "With all that work forced into me, I'm finally able to play it by the note, but suddenly Grandmother tells me I have a whole NEW set of problems to work. She tells me that it's "precise", but it's still not "perfect". Of course, I start out questioning her reasoning on this critique, but when I open my ears to my own playing, it's all clear. But… it's impossible for me to let go when I play. I'm… too concerned with making it "perfect", as she always insisted…"
"Then how about you talk to me as you play? You always find a way to relax when we're simply conversing with each other." Elli suddenly suggested.
Lumina suddenly raised her head and looked at Elli curiously, startling the poor girl.
"Ah…. I mean… I-if you're willing do that. You don't have to take my suggestion if you know it'll get in the way of your playing." Elli said in a shaky voice.
"No. That's a great idea, actually. I'm surprised I didn't think of it myself with you here all this time." Lumina replied in an amazed voice.
"Eheh… really? Well, then…. Um… you're welcome?" Elli answered back.
Immediately, Lumina got into position and curled her fingers once more. This time, however, her eyes were off of the music piece and instead were on her cousin. "Well then, I'll give it a try!" she grinned.
She then lowered her head with a soft smile as she started to play once again in perfect tempo.
"Okay then. where should we begin?" Lumina asked her cousin.
Elli nodded. "Right. How about that local farmer, Gavin?"
Lumina felt her heart skipped a beat, but she kept on playing. "Uh… yes, what about him?"
"Oh, good. So you're willing to talk about him. I was worried at first he'd still be a touchy subject." Elli said with a nervous laugh. "Actually, I was wondering if he had something to say about your playing. I mean, if he's ever heard you."
Lumina lowered head; however, a soft smile emitted from her face as she thought about the new farmer.
"Gavin…? It's interesting you ask about that." She replied in a pleasant tone.
With Lumina's pressure on each key becoming lighter, her song became increasingly mellifluous.
"It's really strange. He says he really enjoys it… even if I'm just practicing a scale. I'm still having a hard time believing him, but he always comes over… listening to whatever it is I happen to be playing. And he always has that pleasant smile…" Lumina said nostalgically.
"Wow… he sounds like a very sweet person to me now…" Elli said in awe.
"I don't understand why, but he seems to be the only one I've known that really "responds" to my music. I think… his mind is very open to it. It makes me feel like he understands me somehow." Lumina confessed gently.
"What do you mean?"
Lumina quietly giggled to herself. "Well, it's like he feels what I feel whenever I play. The cheer from when I can enjoy myself in my playing, the frustration from whenever I struggle, and the sorrow I feel when my mind seems to reflect over hard times. He admits that he's struck with these emotions whenever I perform. He says… "it's like traveling on a journey somehow". Since hearing that, I feel as if he's always traveling with me and sharing my feelings."
Elli looked relieved to see her cousin finally calming down. With the atmosphere the music was creating, the young nurse could not help but imagine the gentle hand of a young man holding onto one of Lumina's and walking alongside her across and endless field under a clear sky.
"I;m beginning to wonder… do you continue to play because of him?" Elli asked.
Lumina's playing slowed ever so slightly upon hearing this.
"…N-no, actually… even without him, I am still compelled to do this…" she answered.
"Really? Then… I want to know… why is it do you play? Who are you playing for?" Elli asked in a somewhat more demanding tone.
Lumina froze. A shock ran down her spine as she heard those seemingly simple questions.
"Ah… I…"
Lumina could barely speak, let alone play. And Elli noticed this. The sympathetic nurse wasn't up to forcing her cousin to answer, but she still had a request that she strongly felt had to be fulfilled.
"Please… continue playing. You were doing splendidly" Elli encouraged.
Lumina turned to witness Elli's warm smile and nodded before she proceeded playing.
"Actually, I'm not sure how to correctly answer that." Lumina replied loosely. "It's just… I remember when I was small, and when I always used to enjoy myself playing. But there was also a period where I tried to calm myself from when my parents died. It was sometime after that where Grandmother took notice of my talents, and playing suddenly became an integral part of my life."
The lady pianist then began pouring her frustration into her playing as the tempo experienced a subtle speed and volume increase.
At that moment, Elli could feel a cold sensation in herself as she saw Lumina's pain.
"Even so… do you actually enjoy playing? Because now it seems to be mostly about Auntie Romana…"
"I… I'm not sure…" Lumina answered.
The tempo slowed and the melody softened to a precise degree as Lumina found herself in doubt of her true feelings.
"I've already played so much… just for the sake of playing… and then being forced into refining it… that I've lost sight of the truth. But like I said… something keeps compelling me to go on. I don't understand why, but I feel there's some purpose in this… that it's important for to continue playing." She answered.
She then felt an inexplicable sensation in her chest as a cloudy memory came to mind. The tempo barely sped up again, but the melody softened.
"That's funny… I actually recall being asked that question before. But as far as I can tell, it was in a dream…" Lumina added curiously.
"I guess that question's been floating in your mind for some time as well?" Elli asked.
"I really enjoyed your encore performance." Elli cheered with a bright smile.
"I suppose it was… but that moment… with that boy… seemed so real…" Lumina answered back.
That mysterious dream came back to her in full. Indeed, she clearly heard the voice of a boy asking that question, and yet she could never distinguish the boy's face. She looked back at her music as she continued playing her music, but then the boy asked once again in a very demanding tone. She took one more glance at the boy's figure, only to find it mature right before her very eyes. In a brief flash, the grown young man's body became clear… and it bore a striking resemblance to Farmer Gavin.
Lumina's body shook again in reality. "Why did he want to know that answer so much? And… why did he look like Gavin?" she asked herself.
"That sounds very interesting. Maybe you'll know your answer when you meet this boy." Elli proposed. Hopefully.
"…Maybe…" Lumina smiled back.
The music then slowed down gradually to the last note. With the song finally done, Elli gave her applause while Lumina reflected over the thoughts accumulated during her song.
"Did you?" Lumina asked with her eyes gazing at the piano keys.
Elli nodded. "Yeah. I can't exactly explain how, but it was even better, too!" she insisted.
"Is that so?" Lumina said back with a hint of doubt.
"I had a great time talking with you during that performance too. It was interesting… the music… it really brought out the moods you went through as you talked with me."
Lumina blinked. She slowly turned her head to face Elli and looked at her curiously.
"What did you say?"Lumina asked hopefully.
"Uh… I said the song really brought out your feelings." Elli answered.
Suddenly, Lumina cracked a bright smile herself. A whole new window of hope opened up to her as she confirmed her cousin's words. This followed very quickly with a hug.
"Lumina?" Elli cried in utter confusion
"Thank you…" Lumina softly uttered.
"You're… welcome?" Elli managed to say back.
After Lumina released her grip, she placed her hands upon her lap and bowed her head in gratitude.
"I think… this time, I'll be able to give the performance without much trouble now." Lumina said with some confidence.
"Really? This is great! I'm sure you'll be fine, then!" Elli cheered.
Lumina nodded. For a while, the aspiring pianist wasn't sure where she would find her muse, but she was glad she found it in her dearest cousin.
"Yeah. And it's because of your help, Elli. I've finally found what it was I've been missing for a long time. Once again, thank you…"