A/N: I really don't want to make excuses because most of the lack of updating was because of me being lazy. Anyways, this is the next chapter. Please pardon my super long hiatus.

CHAPTER FIVE

Sun filtering through the dusty window woke Moritz in the morning. He pulled himself to his feet, feeling sweat on his back and remembering his dream. In it, Melchior had come to the house after Moritz had fallen asleep, finding the gun on accident. He looked to the bed and saw Melchior lying there, asleep. It looked as though he had only fallen asleep a few hours before and Moritz wondered when he had come home that night.

What was the point in wondering? He scrambled around to find his clothes before Melchior woke up, trying to be quiet. His pants had been wrapped around the gun to hide it and he shook them out to retrieve it.

Where could he put it?

He glanced to Melchior on the bed and his eyes were drawn to a small corner of the sheets that were drawn up to show the room underneath the bed. He could put it there. If he hid the gun under the bed until he had some alone time to hide it somewhere better, it was very unlikely that anyone would find it.

Moritz slid the gun against the wood floor under the bed and got fully dressed before walking downstairs to the kitchen.

Frau Gabor was at the stove, facing away from Moritz.

"Melchior," she said, apparently under the impression that she was talking to her son, "you're going to be late for school. I don't know where you've been at night but it's very worrisome and," she turned around, "Oh, I'm sorry Moritz... I thought you were..."

"Melchior is still asleep," Moritz said.

Frau Gabor nodded, dusting her hands off on her apron. "Would you please wake him up for me?"

"Yes, ma'am."

He shuffled up the steps and into Melchior's room, walking to the end of the bed. His intention to wake up Melchior was interrupted by his observation that Melchior looked very different in sleep. Vulnerable. Almost younger.

He hadn't been staring for too long before Melchior's face twisted up, mouth opening a little to take in a sudden gulp of air. Moritz moved a hand to shake him awake but stopped as Melchior began to form coherent words.

"I'm sorry," his friend groaned.

Moritz bit his lip, withdrawing his hand, and tilted his head to the side. "What?"

"This is all my fault," Melchior continued unconsciously, breathing erratically.

"What's... Melchi?" Moritz stammered, "Melchi, wake up."

"Oh god... just kill me now... I—,"

But that had been enough for Moritz to hear and he shook his friend awake. Melchior's eyes opened quickly and he wildly searched Moritz's face for something.

"You were having a nightmare," Moritz said slowly. Melchior nodded at this, sitting up. He cleared his throat and wiped the sweat from his forehead, not looking Moritz in the eye.

"Um, you didn't really... say anything. So," Moritz attempted to make him believe. Melchior didn't appear convinced, sighing, and looked to the window.

"It's light. What time is it?" he asked.

Right! The whole reason he was up here!

"Oh, yes. Your mother says you're nearly late. You need to go to school."

Melchior groaned and shot out of bed, getting dressed at lightning speed. Moritz sat on the bed, watching Melchior go through his drawers.

"Where... is it?" Melchior muttered under his breath, darting around to find something. He got to his knees and felt around under the bed, causing Moritz to stiffen up.

"Y-you don't have time, Melchi," Moritz managed to say.

Melchior looked at him but Moritz moved his attention to a suddenly very interesting shadow on the wall. Melchior got to his feet and slowly walked to the door.

"Moritz," he said, "don't do anything stupid."

With that, Melchior grabbed his bag and headed downstairs, closing the door behind him.

Moritz waited a moment, then fell backwards onto his back with a sigh.

He remembered a time when he and Melchior kept no secrets. What had happened to that? They had "grown up", he supposed, but couldn't they still be best friends as "adults"?

It wasn't looking like that was how it worked, but maybe things would get better.

Well, he needed to hide the gun.

He rolled off of the bed and reached for the gun. There was a little moment of panic as he couldn't find it. Had Melchior touched it? Had Melchior taken it with him somehow?

Wait, there it was. No need to worry.

He pushed it into his pocket, suddenly aware that his hands were shaking a little, and walked downstairs.

"I'm going to go for a walk, Frau Gabor," he mumbled, stepping out of the house before he could hear her reply.

The morning was somewhat chilly and the grass was wet from some nighttime dew. Moritz watched the toes of his boots until he heard talking up ahead. He looked up to see Wendla and Thea, Thea skipping and Wendla walking, on their way to their own classes, which started about an hour later than the boys'.

He got closer and kept quiet, hoping to catch some conversation between the girls, but found that their voices, higher and softer than boys', were difficult to pick up from his distance. He'd have to get closer.

He quickened his pace while still trying to look casual in case they saw him, and began to hear Thea's voice. He slipped behind a tree and peeked out to watch the friends.

"You seem so quiet, Wendla," the braided girl observed, still skipping.

Wendla didn't reply, or maybe her response was just too quiet. Apparently it was the latter, unless Thea had suddenly taken to talking to herself.

"That's bothersome. Do you remember when Martha had that awful stomach ache a few weeks ago? Perhaps it's the same thing."

"Maybe," Wendla said more loudly than her previous comment.

"You look so pale," Thea said with a sudden graveness. She stopped skipping, stopped moving entirely, and took Wendla's hands in hers. "Wendla?"

"You're one to talk," Wendla laughed, though it was clear that she was just joking in an attempt to lighten the mood. Moritz didn't blame her. Thea being serious was a sign that something was wrong.

Thea shook her head. "No, Wendla. I mean... unhealthy pale. You look ill." The girl gave Wendla's hands, which were indeed quite pallid like the rest of her, a quick squeeze.

"I'm... I know," Wendla said.

"You know you can tell us... you can tell me anything."

"I know," Wendla said with a sad smile, "I know, I know..."

She was suddenly sobbing, sinking to her knees with her hands over her face. It reminded him of his encounter with Martha. Were all girls so emotional? It was kind of nice, he thought, to know what someone was feeling without trying to read the most subtle things like eyebrow ticks. Being a girl would be nice.

Except for the part where girls got pregnant. That was most certainly not nice.

He snapped back to the girls, who were now hugging, both crying and sobbing things to each other.

"You're my best friend, Wendla," Thea wailed, "Don't hide things from me!"

"I'm sorry," was Wendla's reply. Moritz had a flashback to Melchior's nightmare. He had assumed that Melchior was apologizing to Wendla, but could it have been meant for Moritz? That was probably being optimistic but he wanted to believe it.

"Don't be sorry," Thea said. "I just... it feels like we... I don't know!"

"Shh, Thea," Wendla murmured, rubbing circles on her friend's back. "Let's stop crying now. We don't want to have puffy eyes, right?"

Thea nodded, face still screwed up to hold in tears.

"Okay. Let's go," Wendla said, smiling comfortingly at the smaller girl. It was probably a somewhat regular thing for Thea to take one of Wendla's issues and make it be about her. Maybe that was for the best, though. Maybe it stopped Wendla from moping in her own self pity. Moritz knew that experiencing someone else's suffering, like Martha's, was an easy way to get over your own problem.

He looked back at the friends, standing now but still hugging tightly, and frowned. Why couldn't he and Melchior have heartfelt conversations? It wasn't fair.

"Everything will be fine, Thea," Wendla said, pressing a kiss to the crown of the other girl's head. They walked away, holding hands, neither girl skipping. They left Moritz to himself, silent.

He envied the girls, he realized.

Why couldn't someone tell him that everything would be fine?

A/N: Aww, Thea-Wendla friendship is my favorite. Thea doesn't get enough credit in fanfics, I've noticed. Anyways, I will make it my New Year's resolution to update this fic once a month. How 'bout that? Thank you for reading and bearing with me for this long. I'm awful about updating, I know.