Secrets in the Closet

Chapter 2: Feelings

"What?"

Kurt stood up and walked towards Sam with a frantic look on his face. "Please don't tell anyone," he pleaded Sam, "I wasn't supposed to, if not Karofsky will… I don't know what he'll do!" Almost immediately after telling Sam, Kurt felt worried and regretful. Now, he was far more worried about what Karofsky might do if he found out that Sam knew.

As though Sam had just read his mind, the blonde placed his hands on Kurt's shoulders and gripped them firmly, looking into his eyes. "Kurt," he said, "Relax. I won't tell anybody." He searched Kurt's eyes, and could only find fear. Whatever trust Kurt had before had completely vanished. Sam led Kurt back to the chair and sat down with him.

"You're supposed to trust me, man," Sam said seriously, "Kurt, I promise. I won't tell anyone."

"You promise?"

Sam smiled. "I promise," he said with a reassuring tone, "And I won't ever break it. I don't go back on my word, you know." He patted Kurt on the back. The shorter boy mustered the strongest smile he could and nodded. They sat like that for a while, seemingly enjoying each other's company before Sam sat up straight, realizing something else.

"Does this mean you're staying?" he asked, looking back at Kurt.

"I don't know, Sam," Kurt admitted, rubbing his temples, "I was actually bent on transferring to Dalton, but somehow I just can't make a decision now. It's like I've gone back to square one." Somehow, Sam felt relieved to hear that. He put his hands in his pockets and nodded, not knowing what else to say.

"Look, Kurt," he started again. "If there's anyone you can trust in glee club, it's me."

"And everyone else. Why are you telling me this?" Kurt asked, raising an eyebrow.

Sam shrugged. "I don't know. You're like too much of an asset to let go," he said, smiling, "I'd hate to see us lose at sectionals." Kurt couldn't help but smile at that but he still hadn't made his decision. Just a few hours ago, he was feeling just as enthusiastic and excited as Blaine was about transferring to Dalton, but something about Sam's words made him want to reconsider it. His parents hadn't paid the tuition fees for Dalton yet, so Kurt decided that he would give himself more time to think about it.

"Thanks, Sam," Kurt said appreciatively, "I'll still have to think about it though."

Sam looked more than pleased. "Great," he said, laughing a little, "That's great, Kurt."

"You guys are early." Sam jumped at the voice of Quinn and turned around with a grin still plastered on his face. He walked over to her and she immediately pulled him into a short hug, before breaking away.

"Yeah, I wanted to come here to chill but then Kurt was here too…" Quinn forced a smile and set her bag down. She still hadn't managed to get any answers out of Sam, and his awkward behavior now made her feel even more uneasy than before.

"Sam," she called, "I need to talk to you… after glee."

"Sure," Sam replied, sitting down next to her, "Anything wrong?" Before Quinn could say anything, Tina and Mike walked in, followed by the rest of the members. The moment Finn saw Kurt, he instantly looked troubled—it was no surprise that he was still upset about Kurt leaving McKinley and it was also no surprise that he didn't know what to do about it but to just let Kurt make his own decision. Kurt knew that he was constantly veering between violently objecting and giving in, but Finn refused to admit anything except tell Kurt that "it's okay to want to go to another school".

Kurt wondered how Finn would react if he knew that Kurt hadn't made up his mind yet.

"Hey, Kurt," Finn said, sitting down next to him, "Um… mom and dad are gonna pay your fees this Friday. I'm just… letting you know."

Friday—that was two days from now.

"Oh," Kurt said, "Thanks, Finn." He would have to tell his parents to hold back on the payment when he got home. Somehow, he felt himself wanting to go to Dalton less and less. Blaine would freak, he thought to himself.

He pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contact list. After he had found Blaine's name, he composed and sent a message he didn't think he would regret.

I might not be coming to Dalton.—K

"Monday."

"Oh, he just can't wait, Wes," David said, laughing and patting Blaine on the back, "I can see it in his eyes." The three of them had been going at it for about an hour now—Blaine had been telling them about what he had planned for Kurt the moment he set his bags down here at Dalton, and even suggested that the Warblers make him feel at home as much as possible so that he wouldn't feel uncomfortable on the first day. Wes folded his arms and smirked at Blaine with a knowing eye.

"Blaine, there's something you're not telling us," Wes said, still eyeing Blaine, "You like the kid, huh?"

Blaine looked oblivious to what Wes was insinuating. He blinked. "Well, yeah, of course I do," he said, "If I didn't, I wouldn't be bothering about him coming to Dalton!"

"He's gay, Blaine," David added, rolling his eyes. "And… you're gay as well."

"Point?" asked Blaine. Wes groaned. Somehow, David and Wes suspected that Blaine was feigning ignorance about the whole thing. Every time they had tried to interrogate him about Kurt and how he felt about the boy, Blaine would just look at them blankly, seemingly unaware about what they were actually talking about.

"I've had it," David said, throwing his hands up in the air, "Blaine, do you like the kid or not?"

"What does it matter?" Blaine laughed and shook his head. "I mean, what difference does it make? It's not that big a deal if I do… and I'm not saying I do!"

David and Wes looked at each other, and then looked back at Blaine again. "All right," Wes said, "But we're just asking, you know? Not like we're gonna judge him when he gets here."

"Yeah, because we already have," David said, earning a whack from Wes. "What? What? I thought he had a funky fashion sense!"

"He was wearing something that looked like our uniform," Blaine pointed out, "Are you saying Dalton's tailors have a 'funky fashion sense'?" As David began to defend himself, Blaine felt a vibration in his pocket. He reached into it and pulled out his phone. The moment he saw the name on its screen a smile instantly appeared on his face.

"Kurt," David and Wes said at the same time. "So what is it this time, lover boy?"

Blaine opened the message and read it, expecting something like another meet-up before Monday arrived. The moment he read the message's content, however, his smile almost immediately slid off his face and turned into a frown.

"Blaine?" Wes prodded him. "Anything wrong, man?"

"Yeah," said Blaine, still frowning down at the text message, "It's Kurt—he might not be coming to Dalton."

"What, did it get postponed—"

"No," Blaine replied, still looking deeply troubled, "No he didn't say anything about that. He just… told me he might not."

"I knew it!" David muttered, "I knew he'd feel conflicted sooner or later…"

"David," Wes hissed warningly, before looking back at Blaine, "What are you gonna do?"

Blaine was already texting away. "Something," he answered distractedly, "Anything."

Meet me tomorrow after school. We need to talk. I'll wait for you outside.—B

Quinn pulled Sam into a corner the moment glee club ended for the day.

"What's up?" Sam asked, looking slightly confused, "You look angry."

"I'm not angry, I'm just disturbed," Quinn said, shaking her head, "I want to know what's going on—you've been acting so distracted and silent lately, it's like I don't even know you anymore, Sam."

Sam shrugged. "Nothing's wrong, Quinn," he told her as sincerely as he could manage, "Really. I just keep sleeping late every night because I've recently gotten addicted to Halo again—"

She put her hand up to signal him to stop talking. "You said it was a workout that tired you out," she said, her stare determined and resolute, "Look, if it's another girl, I get it—"

"It's not a girl," Sam said, putting his hands on her shoulder.

"So it's a boy?" Quinn questioned, folding her arms.

Sam rolled his eyes and groaned in frustration. "Quinn, I'm not cheating on you. I would never do that—or have you forgotten why I gave you that ring?" He paced up and down for a while, before stopping again in front of her.

"Quinn, just… it's personal," he told her, "And… I want to tell you, but I'm not ready yet. I really do, babe, but just… I can't—not now."

"What could be so bad?" she asked, her hand finding his, "I know we just got together but that was because of you—if you can't even trust me why bother giving me this ring?" She slipped the promise ring off her finger and placed it in his hand.

"Don't give it back to me," Sam pleaded, holding on to her hand tightly, "Don't. Just… I trust you and I love you, Q. But there are just some things—"

"You said you wanted to marry me someday," Quinn interrupted him angrily and impatiently, "Talk is cheap, Sam."

"Just listen to me!" Sam exclaimed, pulling her into his arms, "I'm sorry, Quinn. I'm just confused right now. I can't even…" He sighed and closed his eyes. Thinking about it now made him feel much worse, and he didn't want to lose Quinn. Losing her would be like losing a part of him, but as he thought more and more of it, he wondered if losing her would matter at all…

No. He shook his head and nuzzled her neck.

"I love you," he told her.

Quinn didn't say anything. The couple remained like that for a while before she pulled away, looking just as frustrated. "Telling me that won't solve everything," she said, before she walked over to her chair, picked up her bag and left.

It took him a while to realize that she hadn't taken the ring back.

"It's normal for a friend to not want his friends to leave him," Emma said, smiling and nodding confidently, "It's completely fine, but sometimes you have to take his feelings into consideration first. Maybe all he really wants is to never see his bully again and maybe Dalton is the perfect escape for him, no matter how cowardly people may think him to be."

"It's like he doesn't trust me—us—enough to protect him from Karofsky," Sam said, clenching his fists in anger at the thought of Karofsky, "And I want him to. I really do."

"It's completely logical, seeing as how no one can be with him for every second of everyday," Emma explained, "Unless, of course, you're like his shadow… no. What I mean is, he needs to feel one hundred percent secure and because he knows that no one takes the same classes with him everyday, he probably knows that Dave will find him at one point in the day or another."

"But he doesn't need to go," Sam argued, "All that talk about courage and that Blaine guy helping him to find it—all he's showing isn't courage… it's… it's… being afraid!"

"Kurt's fear is natural," Emma replied calmly, "But it's also courage to do what's right for himself, even if it means leaving his friends for another school just so he can keep himself safe."

Sam leaned back against the chair and sighed, rubbing his temples.

"Sam, I know you feel obliged to help him because you've become something like a new leader for New Directions, but—"

"It's not that," Sam said, burying his face in his hands, "Ms. Pillsbury, I think I'm... gay."

Silence.

"Gay?" Emma said, her eyes widening with shock, "Are you sure?"

"No," Sam said, looking back up at her, "I think I am. I keep feeling these things… for Kurt… and when Karofsky insulted him for being a homo I just… couldn't take it."

"Feeling…?"

"Like I need to always be there for him and to protect him, you know? When I see him I just feel… at first I felt awkward, then somehow I just liked him being around, you know? I thought it was just some kind of weird brotherly instinct like Finn and him, but when he said that he was gonna leave for Dalton, I just felt…" He paused, searching for the right word.

Emma felt like she could identify with how he was feeling, despite being straight. She had felt it once, too.

"…afraid?" she finished for him, and when Sam looked up at her, she knew that it was true. "You just don't want to lose him," she continued, searching Sam's eyes. He seemed much more aware of something now, and he looked less troubled than before. It was like he finally understood something.

"Yeah," he said, "I guess that's how I feel… does this mean…?"

"No," Emma said, shaking her head, "It's… it might be too early to tell, Sam. You might just be confused so I suggest you take some time off to… understand yourself a little better. It may just turn out that you treat him like a brother of your own, and that you're really just straight but remember, you should always trust yourself and… and be happy with the way you are."

Kurt Hummel came home feeling even more confused than before. First, he was extremely excited and relieved knowing that he was going to transfer to Dalton away from Karofsky. Next, Sam went up to him and suddenly told him not to go, and said all those things that made Kurt feel better whilst being at McKinley High and now, he was considering not going to Dalton at all. He wondered how Blaine felt as he recalled the ecstasy on the older boy's face as they talked more and more about Dalton and the Warblers and felt guilt seeping in as he remembered his text to Blaine and the reply he received after.

He leaned back against the sofa and sighed, wondering what he was going to say to Blaine tomorrow. Apologies wouldn't work, he told himself, but maybe if he told Blaine what had exactly made him feel this way, everything would be alright. Maybe Blaine would take it in his stride and let Kurt do what he felt was right. Maybe Blaine would object and quickly try to persuade Kurt to reconsider his decision again. Dalton's a great place—it's not like you'll see that Karofsky guy there every single day like you do in McKinley! Kurt could already hear Blaine's frantic words.

He wanted to go to Dalton, and yet he wanted to stay at McKinley with his friends.

He stared off into space, wondering how Sam Evans managed to persuade him into another dilemma, considering how awkward they were around each other the week Schuester announced that there would be a duets competition. They hadn't even spoken to each other that much afterwards, and suddenly the cute jock approached him only to sweep him off his—what?

Kurt shook his head and pushed those strange, foreign thoughts away. He had liked Sam a little—the day he came to glee club as the 'new kid'—but after the duets competition he just forgot about the blonde completely, especially after he had met Blaine at Dalton. Blaine was the one who completely swept him off his feet with that amazing performance of Teenage Dream, and Kurt was certain that if he should be in love with anyone, it would have to be Blaine. Besides, he had no reason to look twice at Sam—he was already known as the boyfriend of the HBIC, Quinn Fabray.

So why did Sam say all those things to him?

Maybe Finn talked to him about it and he decided to be nice and help him, Kurt thought. Or maybe he really does think I'm a great singer… oh stop being so narcissistic, Hummel. Because Sam's intentions were unclear, Kurt's assumption of him being gay slowly began to seep back into his brain. He had already guessed correctly that Sam dyed his hair, but then Sam just had to go off and date Quinn… not that Kurt wanted to object, but he couldn't deny that he felt a little jealous at first, but that moment was short-lived to begin with.

"I should just stop thinking about this," Kurt whispered to himself, "Stop it, Kurt."

"Stop what?" Kurt jumped at the Carole's voice, not being able to get over how sharp her hearing was. He glanced at her and smiled nervously, not knowing how to broach the subject of not paying the Dalton fees just yet.

"Nothing, mom," Kurt said, "But there is something I'd like to talk to you about."

Carole sat down next to Kurt, smiling. "Okay, honey, shoot," she said.

Kurt took a deep breath, and then exhaled. "Mom, I don't want to go to Dalton," Kurt told her, "…um… yet."

Hi you guys! Hope you liked chapter 2. Just to confirm, because I guess I haven't been clear enough ^^, this story is centered on Sam, Kurt and Blaine's love triangle... and it's not a threesome. :) I'm sorry if you guys misunderstood it at first! Thanks for the reviews guys ^^

- Hurrikane