Chapter 3: Lost

Blaine didn't know what to do. He had been looking forward to Monday, but then he just had to receive a text message from Kurt that didn't mean anything good for either of them. He sighed and flopped onto the sofa moodily. Kurt had been just as excited as he had been, right? So why did he suddenly change his mind? Blaine guessed that it was perhaps that his parents might not have enough money for the fees—wait, no, Kurt had already told him that they were using their money previously intended for their honeymoon, so what was it? He stared up at the ceiling with a troubled expression.

All joy that had been because Kurt was coming to Dalton had disappeared. Now, Blaine could only feel worried and disappointed. Worried that something might have happened to Kurt and his family or anything else, and disappointed that he might not even come to Dalton after all. He groaned. What the hell was Kurt thinking? Blaine figured that he wasn't upset about Kurt's decision, but rather he worried about what might happen to him and Karofsky if he chooses to stay at McKinley.

He didn't understand anything right now. All he wanted was for Kurt to choose wisely—and not hurt himself in the process. He got off the sofa and began to pace up and down, trying to calm himself and reorganize his own thoughts. They were all in a mess the moment he read the text from Kurt and he instantly went into panic mode. Wes and David had tried to reassure him multiple times but he didn't, or couldn't listen. All he was thinking about was Kurt. Kurt. Come to Dalton.

It was what he wanted, and what was best for Kurt. He knew it. He'd have to make Kurt come to Dalton anyhow—he couldn't risk seeing that Karofsky guy torture Kurt all the time. Just then, the phone in his hand he had been holding onto all day vibrated.

Are you upset?—K

Blaine didn't know what to feel. On one hand, yes he did feel upset, and yet he didn't, because he only had Kurt's interests at heart. Through all the time that Blaine has known Kurt Hummel, he realized that he had eventually come to genuinely care for the boy. It wasn't any sort of sexual love, but more like a brotherly kind of love. That was what he thought before, but now, he wasn't so sure anymore. He had always looked after Kurt in any way he can, and he had always encouraged Kurt in all of his decisions but he found himself objecting greatly to the current one that he was about to make.

Perhaps he didn't want to lose him after all. Blaine supposed it was because they had gotten closer as good friends. And yet, that excuse wasn't enough to him. He walked over to the window and looked outside—or at least, that's what someone else would think he was doing. He looked at himself and into his own eyes, as though he was trying to read himself and to understand his own feelings. Sure, he had liked other boys before he met Kurt, but this was different. Not only did he feel like a protective brother, he felt like he cared more for Kurt than anyone else had ever known.

The thing about Blaine was this: he didn't like to be unsure of himself, and when he was sure of himself, he didn't want to be wrong.

"Kurt Hummel," he murmured under his breath, "What on earth are you doing to me?"

"Much," Wes said, entering, "Blaine, relax. You're going to meet him tomorrow, so just sit back for a while and not think about him for once."

"You say that like it's easy," Blaine said, shaking his head.

Wes chuckled. "I admit, it wasn't easy forgetting about Vanessa."

"God," Blaine groaned, laughing, "Did you have to remind us both about her again?"

"You're right," Wes admitted, shrugging, "But seriously, dude, you look as dead as hell. Lighten up, okay? It might not even be that big of a deal in the end."

"Maybe," Blaine said, somehow wanting to believe in Wes' words, "…maybe."

Wes patted Blaine on the back encouragingly. "In the words of a certain wise Dalton boy," Wes said, grinning from ear to ear, "Courage, Blaine."

Blaine couldn't help laughing at that. Maybe that was what he really needed for now.

Never.—B

"Kurt…"

Carole was surprised. Kurt had been so excited for the past week and everyone else had been excited for him as well—well, Finn wasn't taking it very well yet—and especially Burt, who had been the one to give the idea, but now he suddenly had a change of heart. It was far too sudden. Her hands found his and gripped them tightly as she looked into his eyes, wondering if he was pulling a prank on her.

But he wasn't. He had never tried to, anyway.

"I'm serious, mom," Kurt said, "I suddenly think that Dalton's not the best idea."

"What are you talking about?" Carole asked worriedly, "You were so happy when Burt and I suggested transferring you over…"

"I know, I know," Kurt admitted, "I made my decision too quickly. I just… need more time to think."

"Are you sure?"

"Sure I'm sure," Kurt said, nodding, "Something just got me thinking, you know?" Not something, but rather, someone. The confident face of Sam Evans appeared in his head for what seemed to be like the tenth time today, causing Kurt to feel like his stomach just did a double flip. He gripped her hands tighter subconsciously as he wondered why he would ever feel that way for a straight boy.

"Have you told your father?" Carole asked.

Kurt shook his head. He didn't know how to tell his father. He was fully aware of how Burt seriously wanted him to go to Dalton because of Karofsky, and he wasn't sure how to break the news to him later on. Burt would freak out, and he would definitely disagree with his sudden change in decisions. He didn't want his father to be disappointed or upset, but he wanted his father to just see things his way.

Kurt wondered if this feeling was because he really wanted it for himself, or because Sam…

Why would he do this for Sam?

"Not yet," he muttered, "I know how much he wants me to go to Dalton."

Carole nodded. "He was so insistent," she admitted, "Are you sure you want to stay at McKinley? What about that boy…?"

"I'm afraid of him," Kurt said bravely, "But… but running away might not be the only answer."

"Baby…"

Kurt wasn't sure if he knew what he was saying. On one hand, he was especially terrified of Karofsky, but on the other hand, he felt braver now. Somehow, he knew he could be a little braver. Blaine needed to understand that, and he would tell him tomorrow. He would make Blaine see that it was going to be okay, that he didn't have to run away anymore. And then he wondered what Blaine would say. Maybe he'd tell him that he's become much stronger, or maybe that he's making a mistake…

Kurt grinned at his mother. "Mom," he said, looking into her eyes, "I know what I'm doing. Trust me."

"I'm just worried," Carole said, "That kid… he sounds…"

"I know," Kurt said, "But I can handle it—even if I can't, I'll always have Finn… and my friends."

Carole smiled warmly at Kurt. It was like he had grown more over the past week as she looked at him. She was proud of him, and she made sure he knew that by pulling him into a hug.

"If there's anything I can do," she offered sincerely, "Or if you'd like to go to Dalton…"

"I will." Kurt felt his heart lift. "Thank you, mom."

"What's going on?" Burt asked, as he walked in through the door with Finn at his side. Kurt and Carole couldn't keep their smiles off their faces and looked to each other, encouraging the other to tell them what had just happened. Kurt nudged Carole one more time and she gave in, bursting out into laughter.

"All right," she said, laughing, and turned to Burt and Finn, "Kurt told me he wanted to stay at McKinley."

A wide, ecstatic smile spread across Finn's face almost immediately. "Kurt?" he said, sitting down on the couch with his mother and Kurt, smiling at the two brightly, "You're not kidding, right?"

Kurt shook his head. "I wouldn't," he told Finn, "I'm serious."

Finn's smile stretched even wider as he nodded in approval, relieved that Kurt wasn't going to leave McKinley after all—that Kurt was going to stay where he belonged and where Finn knew he could protect him and maybe—just maybe—stop Karofsky head on.

He owed Kurt at least that much.

"No way," Burt said, folding his arms. His tone was filled with complete and utter disapproval, and that only unnerved the three of the Hudsons. His eyes fell upon Kurt. "I can't let you stay in that school while that kid is still around."

"Dad…" Kurt started, but his father raised his hand and interrupted him.

"If he's there, Kurt, he will continue what he's doing," Burt said seriously, "and I can't allow that. Not to you."

"But dad, I'm not alone—"

"No buts, mister," Burt growled, "I'm doing this because I care, Kurt, not because I just want to put you in Dalton for the heck of it—"

"I know, dad," Kurt interrupted him in return, standing up, "But I'm happy here at McKinley—with Finn and the others—and while I know I may be safe and even happy in Dalton, I… I don't think I might feel the same way like I do in McKinley."

Then, Kurt thought about Blaine.

What was he saying?

"Are you serious?" Burt uttered, "You'd rather stay in that school where that Karofsky guy is probably stalking the hallways every single day—"

"I won't let anything happen to him." Finn stood up too, and faced Burt with a sort of confidence about him. "I know I failed that once, but I won't let that happen again."

"Finn, not you too—"

"Dad, Kurt's not just my friend anymore—ever since you and mom got married, he's become one of us. He's become my brother, and my brother deserves to know that I love him." Finn never looked so determined, and that made Kurt feel even braver now. He had never imagined Finn saying something like this, but he had hoped for this—especially after Finn's heartwarming speech and performance at Burt and Carole's wedding—and smiled brightly at Finn.

Burt's mouth opened, and then closed again. He let out a heavy sigh, and then shook his head in exasperation. "All right, fine," he said, giving in, "But if you let anything happen to him, Finn, I'm grounding you for the rest of your life."

Despite that harsh warning, Kurt swore he could see a small smile on his father's face.

"All right, I won't—I promise," Finn said, grinning happily.

Kurt punched Finn playfully on the arm. "Finn," he said, smiling up at the taller boy, "Thanks."

"That's what family is for, Kurt."

The next day, Blaine found himself earlier than Kurt—earlier than the time that they had settled on together. He fidgeted with his fingers nervously as he paced back and forth, his stomach doing random flips once in a while as he thought about Kurt and what was going to happen once they started talking.

He had already rehearsed what he was going to say the night before—multiple times—but the moment he heard Kurt's voice, he had completely forgotten everything.

"Blaine?"

He turned around and forced a confident smile. "Hey, Kurt," he said.

Kurt looked as stiff as he was. The air between them was different now—it was no longer easy, no longer happy. Just awkward. And heavy. He beckoned Blaine towards the table and they sat across each other, still looking at each other with uncertainty.

"So," Blaine started, clapping his hands together, "This is kinda awkward…"

"Tell me about it," Kurt agreed, laughing a little. He bit his lip—he knew this was going nowhere unless one of them got to the point first. He looked up at Blaine again, who looked lost in thought. "Blaine… I've… I've decided."

The Dalton student looked back up at Kurt almost hopefully.

"Maybe… maybe I should stay at McKinley for a while," Kurt said, "to see how things go before making my decision."

Blaine's mouth went dry. He had been afraid of that. "Oh," he said, nodding, "That's… I mean… whatever floats your boat, Kurt." Inwardly, he was screaming for Kurt to change his mind—to go back to his previous decision; to come to Dalton. He knew he looked disappointed, from the way Kurt was looking at him curiously. He had tried to smile for the most part, but nothing could hide his feelings now.

"Blaine…?" Kurt noticed that the other boy looked particularly disappointed, despite smiling at him. "I'm sorry, Blaine." The Warbler shook his head and reached out to hold Kurt's hand.

"What did I tell you?" Blaine asked, chuckling, "It's your choice that matters." He didn't like pretending, but he didn't want to make Kurt feel like he disapproved. The fact is, he did disapprove—he only wondered whether it was because of the presence of Karofsky or whether he missed out on a chance to see Kurt every single day for school.

Kurt's smile only seemed to confirm his second guess. "Thanks, Blaine," he said, letting out a sigh, "I'm glad you understand, really."

"No problem," Blaine said, "Now we'd better eat something—I think the manager is looking at us."

Kurt laughed. "Fine," he answered, "But I'm paying."

A pause.

"Why?" Blaine thought he should be the one paying—he didn't know why. Kurt shrugged. "You were looking forward to me coming to Dalton, and I let you down, after all…"

"Hey, it's cool," Blaine said, grinning, "I'm not that heartbroken."

Heartbroken? Kurt raised his eyebrows and smiled slyly at Blaine. "Oh, really?"

"Yes, really," Blaine replied, "But I'm thinking that having you treat me to this meal sounds absolutely wonderful."

Kurt laughed. "It would be my pleasure."

Lunch was a happy affair—at least on the outside. Deeply, Blaine still didn't like the idea of Kurt staying at McKinley, but he couldn't bring himself to tell Kurt how he felt. The boy sitting across him now looked so happy—happier than ever—and he was sure that his choice wasn't a bad one after all. Perhaps Kurt just needed more time, Blaine told himself, and maybe he'll decide to come to Dalton soon.

Maybe.

It was a wish he needed to come true, because from the moment Kurt had decided not to transfer to Dalton Academy, Blaine had found himself falling in love with him. But if he couldn't bring Kurt to Dalton, he figured he could still see Kurt anytime they were free.

What he didn't know was when to tell Kurt how he felt. Blaine just wasn't ready.

He was lost and conflicted, and he hated every bit of it.

Hope you liked this one. Sorry for the late submission—I've been extremely busy this entire week and only managed to squeeze this in during a rare break. I promise my next chapter will be much more enjoyable and come much faster if my schedule allows it!