Chapter three: Unexpected Visitors Have Never Helped the Healing
She was very beautiful – smooth hair clinging like inky rivulets down her wet shirt, which had gone semi-transparent to reveal patches of the toned white skin they stuck onto. Likewise, her voice was pretty – pure and sweet. Just watching her made Lolita's insides roil with pangs of inferiority, and quickly, she swallowed the lump beginning to form in her throat. Out of the corner of her eyes, she could see Tasuki watching her, his face an unreadable mishmash of emotions. Unwilling to appear affected, she drew herself up and moved to return to the palace complex.
"I'll just let the others know somebody else has...come..." Unheard, she turned around, picking her way back in the blanketing dimness of the coming twilight. Just the tiniest twinge of hurt tugged at the fact that no one heard what she said. It was the total opposite to when she first arrived, where everyone hung on her every word, as if she had anything very important to say. Then they found out she had no known purpose, and the rapt attention simply became a friendly notice. But now another girl has come, bouncing into Konan through a holy-looking light, no less. That had to mean something. And Lolita was afraid because if they chose to leave her, she would be completely helpless. She had always considered the three months so far spent in Konan to be nothing more than a pleasant, dream-like vacation, and never really picked up anything useful during that time. Nothing that would help her survive in case she had to fend for herself, anyway.
From behind her, three voices floated down the gravel walk, all in animated conversation. The new girl knew the seishi's names beforehand, and was explaining how she had fallen into their world. Eager to escape the excited lilt, Lolita hurried forward, stumbling in the dark as she missed a knotted pine root that webbed its way into the path. She remained on the ground for a moment, catching her breath and willing her ears to block out the voices.
It is impolite to eavesdrop. It is impolite to eavesdrop. It is impolite...
"I had wanted to meet you for the longest time Chichiri-san!"
The sharp intake of breath came out a hiss of air through tightly clenched teeth. Where it lay steadying her on the tree trunk, Lolita's hand tightened into a fist. She could feel the first waves of irrational anger seep into her blood and she squeezed her eyes shut in a vain attempt to control the tremors of rage threatening to take over her body.
Of course the new girl would want to meet Chichiri. Everyone wanted to meet Chichiri. Everyone claimed to love him. Everyone... As that last subduing thought settled in her mind, she calmed down a little, though it was the sedation of resignation. The newcomer was just one of the many girls who loved the blue-haired monk, as was she.
At first Lolita too loved him. But she did not know what love was then; did not know that with love came great patience and even greater pain. Then the biggest surprise hit her: she could not – and did not want to – halt the feelings that threw themselves deeper and deeper under his command. Willingly, her soul submitted to the torture of the knowledge that he rejected carnal emotions, and for some insane reason, that made him all the more precious to her.
The new girl did not know so many things about Chichiri that she already did. Lolita understood when he was uncomfortable despite the persistent smile on his mask. She was already acquainted with the depth of his sorrow, and, despite the wish to soothe it, kept away to give him his space. Most of all, she could more or less guess – and guess correctly – how he would react to certain situations. These things and so much more, her counterpart did not know, and Lolita worried for Chichiri, certain that the other's rash impulse would drive him back into a mistrusting withdrawal.
"Hey, where's Lo?"
She stiffened at Tasuki's voice. The conversation by the pond stopped abruptly, replaced by the rustle of leaves as someone plowed through the foliage. Around the bend, footfalls crunched on gravel, inevitably moving towards its target.
Damn. Lolita had not realized that she was crying until she made to right herself and found her vision clouded with tears. Hastily brushing a hand across her eyes, she gathered up the hem of her long skirt and resumed her trip down the path, dark-accustomed eyes now expertly pointing out obstacles. She tried to be swift and silent, but it was so difficult in the shifting pebbles that she gave up altogether and sprinted the rest of the way.
"Lo!" The bandit's voice was still audible in the background. Every minute that passed seemed to bring him closer, and Lolita found herself bemoaning the speed he had been endowed with. With fangs like he did, she wouldn't be surprised to find out that he had superior tracking abilities too, like a dog. Suppressing a giggle, she focused on the beacon of light hanging from the eaves a few metres away. The path had now widened considerably, tight tree-lined spaces opening into shorter and sparser ornamental vegetation, so that it was easier to run.
"Lo, there're snakes 'round `ere!"
"Liar," she muttered under her breath, chest heaving with effort while her feet pounded on the ground. Tasuki knew she was deathly afraid of snakes; no doubt it was just another of the bandit's cheap tricks to get her to stop running.
The palace complex was not too far now.
"`M not kiddin' Lo! There're really snakes `round `ere!" Lolita wanted to scoff at his warning, but before she could even form the words in her head, a slim, coiled thing dropped onto the path mere inches away from her, wet-looking body glimmering under the lamplight. In both surprise and terror, a strangled scream tore out of her throat. The reptile lifted its head at the sound, directing its curious green gaze towards the girl careening towards it. They would have collided, were it not for the sudden weight that jerked her backwards, clear away from the creature and onto a hard human body. Seeing that it was outnumbered, the snake stretched out, and then slithered under the brush back into his dirt home.
Legs shaking, Lolita collapsed for the second time in five minutes, sinking against the anonymous body that had so graciously impeded her fall. While she sat catching her breath, the body's owner lent two hands that grasped her shoulders, rubbing down her trembling arms. Sagging against the sensation, she tipped her head back, only to meet somebody's trapezius, as well as chopped layers of orange hair.
"Tasuki...?"
"`At's me."
"Oh, god." His touch was comforting, but it could do nothing against the tremors that still wracked her whole body until it seemed as if even her very nerves were shaking with fear. Lolita shrank back deeper into his chest, tucking the top of her head under his chin. Drawing quivering breaths, she hugged herself and worked to form a coherent sentence.
"B-burn it."
"What?"
"The...the...thing."
"It was just a garden snake; perfectly harmless."
"Venomous python's cousin off a couple degrees," she shuddered. New footsteps echoed somewhere near them, and a minute later Chichiri and the new girl came crashing into the scene.
"Are you okay, no da?"
Her hammering heart discovered a new way of beating, pounding a zillion times per second at the sound of his voice. Unconsciously, Lolita loosened herself from Tasuki's grasp, oblivious to the frantic pace of her pulse as she fought the urge to laugh at his bedraggled look. The gravity defying bangs were messy with running, and little twigs stuck out from his hair. Even his masked face was amusingly adorable, scrunched up with a worry it never had to wear before.
"Juz' a snake. Nothin' more," Tasuki assured gruffly. But this only served to deepen the monk's frown, and he bent closer to inspect Lolita's white face. Instantly, blood rushed to her head, the heat of blushing and the chill of fear colliding in a dizzy spell that had her seeing stars.
"Lolita-chan, you weren't bitten, were you?"
He forgot to add 'no da'. The flush of pleasure usurped the earlier shock, wrapping her mind in comforting warmth. "No. I'm okay. It was a garden snake and...Tasuki...came in time."
Chichiri relented, leaning back to rock on his heels. "Good, no da. Shall we head inside then?"
"Let's go get you some dinner," the bandit grunted as he helped Lolita up, still not letting go of her shoulders.
"Actually I...I'd like to stay in my room. If that's...okay."
"I'll bring you dinner!" a shrill feminine voice volunteered.
"No!" the refusal came out more vehemently than she intended, and Lolita turned a little into Tasuki's shoulder to hide her embarrassment. "I-I mean...thanks, but...I'm not...really hungry. You should go on, though. The others... would...love to meet you..." she mumbled apologetically.
The kind offer earned a warm smile from Chichiri, but Lolita caught the implication in the undertone. The other girl wanted somebody to talk to who was from her world. Well. She didn't want to be mean, but a rival was a rival.
No! Lolita mentally groaned, erasing the thought. That didn't come out right at all. They weren't rivals. It was just her freaked-out mind talking. Breaking away from Tasuki, she made towards the compound again, but not before the bandit caught up.
"Thanks Tas, but I can manage from here on," she sighed tiredly. "It was just a scare. No sprains nor broken bones."
"Yeah, but I'm more afraid of yer stressed out mind. It does crazy things, ya know."
She let him accompany her to her door, whereupon the bandit insisted on lighting the lamps inside. Remembering his affinity for pyrotechnic displays, Lolita declined the offer, using the wish for quiet time as an alibi. Finally, though sulkily, Tasuki agreed, and left her to join his friends in the informal dining hall.
As soon as he disappeared around the corner, she slipped inside, cracking the door open just wide enough to slink through. Shutting it quietly, she moved towards the bed, kicking off her shoes and stretching out. Through the window to her left, moonlight filtered in like tiny flecks of stardust, casting an ethereal silver glitter onto the gently swirling dust. Soft wind blew in the garden and, finding its way into the imposing west wing's apartments, shyly prodded at the shutters, creaking the window open to announce its entry into the darkened room. There was no sound within, not even the softest of sighs, and the tiny breeze cast its gaze around to finally settle upon the lump on the bed. It planted a kiss on her cheek, and succeeded in rousing the room's solitary occupant from her grave musings.
Shivering slightly from the cold night air, Lolita rolled over to curl up on her side. The window had opened all the way, letting in a circular pool of moonlight that rippled on the wooden floor. She was cold, but at the same time she wanted to welcome the light. Shaking the conflicting wishes away, she shut her eyes, determined to fall asleep. Almost instantly, a familiar image flickered in behind her eyelids, though unlike before, the strong, serene features presently gripped her heart with a mix of desperation and dread.
She was losing him. For years and years he occupied the glorified pedestal at the centre of her mind, mere presence breathing a fragrant whisper into her consciousness and tracing an undercurrent of security in her subconscious. Where was that comfort now? Disintegrated, came the rueful reply. It was crumbling like old cake, turning into ash, mixing with the water she held in tightly cupped hands, and running out with it. The sweetness of her inner sanctuary was gone now that his being there was questionable. Her private thoughts – her last refuge – were unbearable without him, and Lolita winced to realize how much of her was made up of him. Left nearly without, she felt empty, like a vessel from which wine had been poured to satiate another.
Chichiri. Chichiri.
He was drifting away. When he said he couldn't love her that way, he had snipped off a piece of the hope she had so carefully nurtured. But he said he wanted to remain friends, and planted a new seed of hope inside her. Maybe he could never return her love, but she might care for him from afar, always keeping her distance, never letting him see past the smiles that hid the splitting pain of every step. If she could just love him that way, it would be enough. To see him unruffled, safe...it was more than enough.
And then that other girl had to come prancing this way. She would take him. Two minutes into a new world and she had tackled him into the ground. Lolita expected to see him tense and push her away, but the surprise of the attack kept him pinned. The worst part of the whole episode was that he didn't seem to see her as a threat. Chichiri had responded openly to the physical sensation, for a minute letting his guard slip as he relieved the old, innocent feeling of childish trust.
What happened next she was almost too ashamed to recall. Jealousy. The word was so strong it shook the foundations on which Lolita built her arguments of love for him. If the object of her affections was happy, she should be for him. That was what love was all about – letting go. Or was it? A part of her refused to accept his rejection, and insisted that, given time, he would come to return the feelings she held so strongly for him. But another part wondered: what if it wasn't love she had for him? What if her arguments were all based on selfish, wanton desire? What if...?
She didn't know anymore.
The pure silver of the moonlight intensified into a pounding brightness that seared through her brain, and blinking hard, she realized that her eyes were strained from staring too long between darkness and light. Tears immediately flooded over her irises, lubricating the dryness with their natural warmth. Some managed to leak out, and Lolita rubbed them away, gently massaging in little circles. The activity erased the previous worry from her mind and replaced it with the empty awareness she was so used to. Turning over onto her back, she let the first sluggishness of slumber finally ensnare her.
Outside her door, the orange-haired bandit sat out his vigil. The first hour passed uneventfully, but at least he stopped hearing the contained sobs she loved to indulge in when she thought no one was looking. Deathly silence reigned in the chamber behind him, the stillness almost lulling him to sleep. Leaning back, he stared at the lamp dangling just inside the slanted eaves, moths already flitting towards the glow.
Ya won't be burned, anyway, he thought with a grunt, watching the insects drive themselves against the thin paper screen. Not like the moron I'm guarding. Bored, he reached out with his chi. That wasn't something he normally did, but if he concentrated enough, Tasuki could just sweep by another's aura without them noticing. Slowly, he probed forward, growing slightly confused when he couldn't quite find the violent chi he expected. A bit farther, he moved towards the bed, where he felt the gentle heat of another life. Her chi was peaceful, and he could almost hear the rhythmic breathing of rest. Smiling to himself, he pushed off the wall, satisfied that his charge had finally found unencumbered sleep.
***
Having Ami around was like watching over a hyperactive five-year-old. Unlike Lolita who chose to entertain herself in her room, the raven-haired girl practically bounced off the walls. She raced down palace corridors, most of the time narrowly missing students with large piles of books. The victim would glare down at the culprit, only to have her disarming smile dissolve his irritation into a blushing, bowing mess. She'd bat her lashes, the doe eyes looking as penitent as a guilty face could make it; the next minute she was a hundred yards down the hall, rocking on her heels before a pair of ornately carved doors, contemplating the best entrance that would take the occupant wholly by surprise. Through it all, Chichiri was left to trail in her wake, dashing forwards and backwards to keep her from walking into secret national conferences.
At the end of two hours, they had managed to run the greater perimeter of the west wing, peeked into every single chamber that would permit their entry, smacked into a few high-ranking officials, surprised an ambassador, and accidentally found a couple of secret passages.
At the end of those two hours, Chichiri had gone through heart-stopping encounters and emitted countless "Da!-s" that could last him the rest of his life. Thankfully, Ami was beginning to wind down. Unfortunately, she remained restive.
"Ami-chan, do you think we could stop for a rest, no da?" He wheezed, blood rushing to warm the face behind his paper mask. The girl skipped away from him, the fingers clasped behind her back wiggling with restlessness. There was only one part of the expansive west wing they had yet to explore – the place where the Suzaku seishi and Lolita had their rooms.
"When I find your room," she promised, never missing a beat as she twirled on her heel to face him and then walked backwards. "You'll let me in, right?"
Chichiri found himself unable to resist the pleading face and mentally scanned the state he had left his room in. Finding it decent enough, he nodded wearily. "I will, no da, if you promise to sit still when you get there."
"Promise!" Whirling around, she bounded forward, lightly trailing fingertips on the wooden banisters that circled the complex. The blue-haired monk sighed, forcing his tired feet to plod forward. Her energy tired him, but it left a pleasant physical kind of exhaustion that he had not felt for a very long time. It struck him that in recent years the only things that tired him were battles – whether they were ones he fought alongside his comrades, or ones he fought within himself. Though never a fan of anything that left him listless, Chichiri found Ami's slapdash habits quite refreshing.
"Is this your room?"
His ears perked up at the tone in her voice. The singsong lilt was still there, but he knew she was getting tired too. "No, no da. It's Tasuki's room no da."
"Oh." Finally. Her energy was running low. He was beginning to think it would hold out forever. Straightening himself a little bit, Chichiri lifted his head...and saw Tasuki. As did Ami.
In a rare moment, the other seishi was actually silently contemplating the heavens while he sat guarding Lolita's door. The amber orbs were narrowed, brow creased in concentration. Chichiri did not miss the drawn look on his face, but whatever it could have evolved into, it promptly vanished at Ami's greeting. The bandit shot up, tessen in hand. When he saw who was approaching, his defensive stance relaxed a bit, though his face picked up alarm. Flailing his arms around, Tasuki was obviously frantically signalling for them to do something, though what that was eluded even Chichiri.
"Tasuki!" Completely missing the whole act, Ami barrelled straight into the redhead, knocking him a few steps back and generating a short string of profanities before they both fell onto the ground.
"Get off! Go away! Do not disturb! Shoo –!"
"Chichiri is this your room?" From her perch on Tasuki's stomach, Ami twisted around, cocking her head at the monk who rushed forward to free his friend.
"No, no da. This is somebody else's room, no da."
"Let's go say 'hi', then!"
"No!" Though his voice was muffled from the weight on his abdomen, much vehemence still found its way into Tasuki's words. He beginning to grow irritated with the girl. Lolita was fast asleep on the other side of the flimsy doors and he would like to keep her that way for as long as naturally possible. But the mere presence of the little twit threatened even that. She was beginning to whine piteously in a way that, though others might find endearing, was seriously beginning to get on his nerves.
"SHUT UP!"
The air vibrated with the sheer intensity of his voice, shocking everyone into stillness. Ami stared down at him with wide, disbelieving eyes, while the monk's nervous gaze flickered between him and the girl. A very long moment passed in dreadful silence before, very slowly, almost ominously, Lolita's door creaked open. There was nothing but darkness inside. With silence amplifying the portentous ambiance, the soft swish of a gauzy train sent decided shivers down the spines of all those present. The door opened wider, allowing a view of the rest of the rumpled gown up to the sleepy, unamused face above it.
"You people..." Lolita trailed away at the sight. Tasuki was on the floor, straddled by the new girl who still had not changed out of her beach shorts and thin white shirt. Stepping over the bandit, Chichiri had her by the arms, which had gone slack in surprise. Except for the guilt and frozen demeanour common in all three, the expressions on their faces were unreadable.
Suddenly aware of her dishevelled appearance, Lolita stepped back into her room, softly closing the door as she undid the clasps on her head and combed her hair loose. On the other side, somebody sighed, signalling for all hell to break loose. Tasuki went off in a tirade consisting of normal words abruptly broken off by more creative language. There was a lot of shuffling, a thud, wailing, pleading from Chichiri, and some more thuds and shuffling.
"Ya can't go in there!" Lolita started with surprise at the shadow that suddenly blocked the upper, paper-screened half of her door. In a moment, two other shadows joined it, turning it into one whole lumpy silhouette. A high female voice protested, causing Tasuki to back against the door. A whole lot of pushing went on for several minutes before the entryway gave with a loud creak of protest, swinging inwards and depositing a tangled dog pile at the threshold just as Lolita staggered back.
Eyebrow raised, she stared right down at the three. Tasuki had tilted his head backwards, but catching her eye, suddenly remembered the girl sprawled atop his chest and pointedly looked away, face turning a shamed scarlet. Chichiri rolled himself off the heap, slowly shaking his head back into focus. The moment his weight came off her, the cause of the whole chaos jumped up to beam at Lolita.
"Hi my name's Ami I don't think we've met before but everybody believes we come from the same world so I'm really glad to meet you I'd like to be friends if you don't mind can I have your name I think we'll be very very good friends..."
A mile a minute. Lolita's head began to ache from being yanked out of deep sleep only to be shoved right into the face of a human machine gun, that sans the tiny stars dancing before her eyes at the sudden bright light piercing into the sleepy dimness of her chamber. Maybe Tasuki's right. I am turning into a vampire. A vampire who, before seeing the bouncing pixie in front of her, had never felt the urge to kill.
She giggled, a terrible sound rising from the depths of a throat scratchy from previous crying. Tasuki immediately shot up, looking stricken by her face. Sleep deprivation had left her so jumbled that Lolita began to harbour a grim amusement in imagining how terrible she must look to have caused such a reaction from a bandit who claimed to fear nothing.
"Ami-chan, I think we better go and let Lolita-chan have her rest, no da." The apprehension in the new voice started Lolita wide-awake, and she glanced at Chichiri apologetically. He shot her a tiny smile before standing to herd the other away. But still anticipating an answer, Ami continued to stare, the tiniest bit of hurt confusion clouding her eyes. Lolita's internal devil began to bang against the cage of her consciousness, igniting the desire to torment. But Chichiri's obvious distress over Ami's resistance to his coaxing softened Lolita, and, not wishing to prolong his trial, she relented.
"I'm...Lolita. Great to meet you too," she mumbled half-heartedly, barely attempting enthusiasm. Satisfied, Ami rushed to give her a hug. The contact was unexpected and for a moment, she flinched at the crushing grip before tentatively returning the action.
"We'll play tomorrow, okay?"
Spending time with a total stranger was the last thing on Lolita's mind, but, spurred on by Chichiri's smile, she nodded. "Sure."
"Good night, then!" Skipping back to the monk, Ami dragged him outside, her ever persistent "Is this your room?" floating back from down the hall and ascertained later by the banging open and closed of the doors of the adjacent apartment. As a shriek of laughter bubbled up through the wall, Lolita's false smile slid off her face and she headed back towards the bed.
"Please get the door when you leave," came the mumble from somewhere in the shadows as Tasuki slowly raised himself from the floor. For a long time, he stared at the back of the figure that sat staring outside her window. The stars from earlier were now shaded behind a wisp of clouds that obscured their meagre twinkle. Even the silver disk was not spared, a mist of black wrapping its glow. Only light from the garden lamps outside persisted into the room, inadequate even to outline the shape sitting rigidly straight before it.
Walking towards the door, Tasuki shut it loudly. The figure relaxed at the sound, shoulders slumping in defeat. He tiptoed his way into a corner, blending right into the shadows. Normally, he wouldn't resort to such a sneaky trick even though there was no possible way his victim would find out. But his Lo was a special case. He felt her force herself back to sleep, the peace from earlier replaced by a heavy desperation to escape reality. Sinking to his haunches, he mulled over his knees, worried.
Yes, he worried. And it was all Chichiri's fault. Damn straight, if there was anyone who should be in his place right now, it was the monk man. Instead, it had to be him, the bandit, the one who was completely clueless when it came to consoling people, least of all, girls. Dropping his head onto his knees, Tasuki shut his eyes, forcing himself not to hear the laughter from the other room.
A/N: And the angst just about stops here. The following chapters will have less introspection, I hope, though the drama will still be there (if I don't slip into a humorous fit, anyway). Thank you to all who read. I'm sorry for those fooled by my first blurb. In my defence, I did plan for this to be lightly funny, but in the end...well, the story writes itself, as that ever-famous entity 'They' like to say.
I'm tired of asking for reviews when people don't bother anyway, so I'll just thank the readers and get on with the next chapter. (Is anyone still following this story so far...? :::silence::: Oh, well.)