Chapter 13

Three years ago she was fifteen years old and madly in love. He was a senior, to her young eyes, at the height of manliness. Everything about him was beautiful – from the way his auburn brown hair tossed about in the wind to the way he swaggered down the school halls. And she would watch for him – wait at her locker until he passed by and she was late for class. That said, she was always late. But that was no matter, even though she was sent to detention several times, because seeing him made it all well worth it.

One fateful day she decided to take matters into her own hands. Running away from detention, she caught him at the parking lot with a bunch of his friends. And throwing caution to the winds, she blurted out that she loved him. She wasn't sure how to feel, but the glow of pleasure and pride at having had the courage to say her feelings out loud seemed right. Unfortunately, it kept her from noticing the abnormally eerie stillness.

He broke into laughter. His friends joined right in, snorting and chortling in her bewildered face.

Only then did she realize that something was wrong. Horribly, terribly, wrong.

The whole parking lot joined right in the laughter as if her emptying her heart out to the mortal god was some sort of joke. She felt sick. She felt sicker than sick. The embarrassment was so bad she wanted to melt and drain in a runny heap into the ground.

"Trying to run away from the boyfriends daddy chose?"

She stepped back, but they closed in around her, jeering and grabbing at the books on her arms. Her things clattered onto the ground, notebook falling open to reveal the lovingly made portrait tucked away on a back page. Instantly, the laughter escalated, and with it rang the sound of ripping paper. Through the ball of ice forming in her stomach, she dared raise her eyes, but saw only his disgusted ones bearing down on her, brimming with disapproval while the picture of his face was considerably passed around and abused by his friends.

It was put into his hands. Steely blue eyes barely flicked at it before he crumpled it into a ball and, smirking, tossed it in her face. She flinched, but only let it drop to her feet, tattered and dirty.

"See you at the VIP room tonight, babe!' he called over his shoulder as he turned to leave.

Suddenly, the swagger did not seem all that beautiful anymore; the form, cruel and bullying. But there was nothing she could do. After all, she chose to walk right into the situation starry-eyed. The result was inevitable.

Hands trembling, she stooped to gather her things to the echo of laughter and a few sympathetic whispers. Show over, the audience returned to their own lives. Even then, she still felt as if the eyes of the world remained on her. So she flounced away, back into the school, back into the fifth level, back into the practice rooms where she could hide and think until there was nothing left to think and cry about.

The sudden rush of air was refreshing. Lolita hadn't realized that she was holding her breath in her sleep. She sucked in several lungfuls, slumped against the hard body behind her.

"You okay?"

She nodded wearily, his voice sending a shiver down her spine. In the memory-dream, the voice belonged to another mortal god totally different from the mortal god she was leaning against now. But the fear had resurfaced, and suddenly she wasn't sure she could carry out what she had planned to do. Now that she was older, it was time to begin considering the possible consequences of her actions.

There weren't too many alternatives in the pleasant department. Maybe she should start at the Terrible Results department.

At the top of the list was what she had blindly hoped for at fifteen.

Lolita let out a long sigh. The caravans in front of them were slowing down, scouting for a suitable camping spot. Chichiri was up there somewhere with Ami while she and Tasuki lagged behind. Though she didn't like thinking it was because her riding partner hated jarring her too much when she was asleep, that was most probably the case.

As the caravans slowly dispersed to opposite sides of the road, Tasuki steered their mount over to where Chichiri had chosen to settle down for the night. Sliding off, she left him to tend to the horse while she unpacked the necessary belongings and ran off to help set up camp. All night, she barely turned towards him, tensing or getting up when he came too close.

The disapproving glances Ami sent her did not go unnoticed, but the terrible feeling from the old trauma resurfaced every time she thought about telling him...telling the man she...

Loved.

It was like a heart attack coming. And it hurt when her mind persisted on linking the old with the new. Tasuki was nothing like that dark-haired man-boy she thought she wanted to die for at fifteen. Tasuki was not like Chichiri, who was gentle even as he broke her heart. Tasuki was Tasuki, fire and ice all at once, both burning her sweetly and terribly.

Yes, the heat was agonizingly wonderful. So wonderful, in fact, that when he sat down beside her, she abruptly left camp like a flustered fool. She could almost swear she felt his eyes bear holes into her back, and walked faster, forgetting all grace as she jerked to the dark bank that sloped down to the nearby beach. Then, certain of solitude, flopped down onto the prickly turf.

Salty sea air settled heavily over the waters, signalling the coming of a storm. It was a familiar smell like so many others there that reminded her of home – boiling waves crashing onto the deadly jagged cliffs and washing multi-coloured pebbles onto the sandy shore, the starlit sky, the inky horizon unbroken by the beam of a lighthouse, the distinct aroma of seaweed so strong she could almost taste it...

But home wasn't a refuge anymore; not when it was the one place where he could never reach her.

To take her thoughts from the questions racing in her head, she pulled out her iPod. The battery was running low, but would hold out for a few more minutes. Then, blissfully unaware of her surroundings, she closed her eyes, lost in music she had not heard for very long.

It might have been only a few minutes, or an hour. The next thing she knew he was kneeling beside her, shaking her awake. Sitting up, she scoured the surroundings for other people, but besides both of them, there wasn't a soul in sight. Colour drained from her face, and she unconsciously backed away from him.

"Ye'll get cold sleepin' out 'ere." Nodding his head in the direction of the camp, "Come on an' ya can stay beside the fire."

She swallowed nervously. Beside the fire? Beside him? Once he told her he was the fire. Was he thinking of that now?

Her head swam in continuous whirlpools. "I, um, I'm fine here."

"I'll go get ya some blankets, then." He disappeared and she rubbed her face with her hands. If she continued to act like she did, walking on eggshells around him, he was sure to notice...if he hadn't yet. And it would get ugly and awkward, because they had to travel together, and there was still a long way to go before they got to their destination. She had to fix things...somehow.

When he returned with the promised blankets, she was sitting straighter up, outwardly calm, inwardly breaking down into a terrified mess.

"Would you..." she held out the iPod tentatively, "listen to something?"

"Sure," he complied, waiting while she scanned the array of songs until she found what she was looking for.

Just a day, just an ordinary day...

He glanced at her, but Lolita stared hard at the darkened screen, tightly clenching the slim metal thing.

Just trying to get by

Just a boy, just an ordinary boy

But he was looking to the sky

And the foreign girl even had the gall to try and stare him down. In his country. On his mountain. In his freakin' fortress! Yet he couldn't decide whether that was annoying or endearing.

He smirked as her eyes began to water and she narrowed them, glaring right at his satisfied expression.

"Ya can't beat me, so juz give it up."

"Not until I get what I wished for. You owe me that much at least to make up for your bandits' – aargh!" She blinked and screamed in frustration while he broke into rip-roaring laughter.

"I win! I win!"

"No fair! Stupid well only gave me half my wish!"

He understood then that she was pitifully slow. Any other person lost in another world would have bawled her eyes out. But the stupid girl he was stuck with seemed to think it was all a wonderful dream come true. It must be so sad to be so stupid.

"A'right, a'right," he conceded. "Ya lasted nearly a minute. Long 'nough, in my opinion. I'll take ya ta Eiyou. Chiri should be there." Shaking his head, he added as an aside, "Scary stalker freaks."

And as he asked if I would come along

I started to realize

That everyday he finds just what he's looking for

Like a shooting star he shines

"Listen, a'right? The sooner we get to Eiyou, the sooner ya get ta see Chichiri!"

"I'm tired! I can't walk anymore!"

He whirled around at her decisive whine, hands planted on both hips, and attempted to glower. But when she pulled a pitiful face he relented, stomping back to the emerald grass spread out on both sides of the path. "Fine. But we only get ta rest ten minutes, a'right?"

She rolled her eyes. Wasn't he always the wheedling brat during travels with Chichiri?

"I'm not sitting on the grass. I bet it's got filthy animal drool all over it."

He huffed in exasperation. "Then where the bloody hell does Yer Highness want ta sit? Up the fuckin' tree?" he jerked a thumb upwards and into the spreading branches of a towering oak.

"And ruin my hands climbing it? No way!"

And he said, "Take my hand

Live while you can

Don't you see your dreams lie right

In the palm of your hand?"

"Get changed and I'll bring ya somewhere. Ya look terrible with your hair sticking up all over th' place."

Self-consciously, Lolita ran a hand through her locks. "Where are we going now?"

"Not far."

And as he spoke, he spoke ordinary words

Although they did not fail, no

For I felt what I had not felt before

You'd swear those words could heal

"The stars are really pretty."

He snorted. Silence settled between them. They were lying close enough that if he reached out a little, Tasuki could hold her hand in his.

"Don't you like stars?"

"Sure. They're 'ere every night. `Can't get rid of 'em if ya tried."

She made a face at him. "Well, I like stars."

"You only like one of 'em," he mumbled morosely.

And as I looked up into those eyes

His vision borrows mine

And I know he's no stranger

For I feel I've held him for all of time

The wispy beginnings of a fog were making themselves known between the trees. Then in one sudden motion she was deposited in his lap. Tasuki's arms were around her, pressing her against his chest and into the warm confines of his coat.

"Still cold?" he grumbled.

"N-no." Allowing a tiny smile to flit across her face, she relaxed enough to prop her cheek on his shoulder. He smelled different. Unbidden, her face found its way to his neck.

"Am I too heavy?"

"No," he mumbled, staring up at the snatches of sky between tree branches. "Yer just right."

And he said, "Take my hand

Live while you can

Don't you see your dreams lie right

In the palm of you hand?"

In the palm of your hand

When the final strains stopped vibrating, Lolita dared look up. Everyone was staring at her in surprise. From the back of the crowd, applause began to ring out. Then somebody shouted for another song, which was loudly seconded. She peeked at Tasuki.

The bandit was grinning widely.

Please come with me

See what I see

Touch the stars for time will not flee

Time will not flee, can't you see?

He got down on all fours, patting the grass until he felt something soft and fuzzy. Needle and thread still hung from a corner.

She had found the doll.

Something like a cross between relief and pride washed through him at the discovery, and he broke into a great smile, the toy cradled in his hand. She had found it...and kept it.

Just a dream, just an ordinary dream

As I wake in bed

And the boy, that ordinary boy

Or was it all in my head?

"The landlady had tons of 'em so I asked 'er ta put one in fer ya, ta keep ya safe."

A pleasant shiver trickled down her back at his words, and hotness welled in her chest in time to the quickened hammering. "You already keep me safe, Tasuki. I don't need any amulet."

Didn't he ask if I would come along?

It all seemed so real

But as I looked to the door I saw that boy

Standing there with a deal

"Jez fer insurance."

The sky was already bright with the risen sun. Sooner or later, Chichiri, the earliest of the usual early risers, would be up. Quickly, Lolita leaned forward to peck his cheek.

And he said, "Take my hand

Live while you can

Don't you see your dreams lie right

In the palm of your hand?"

In the palm of your hand

In the palm of your hand

" I would never want ya ta go."

Just a day, just an ordinary day

Just trying to get by

Just a boy, just an ordinary boy

But he was looking to the sky

She took a long time winding the discarded cord around her iPod, never once looking up at him. Tasuki waited for her to either say something or walk away, though he had to admit that he would not allow the latter option to happen. At last she raised her eyes, hands held together on her lap.

"How did you like it?"

So she was calling on him to be a connoisseur now? "Okay," he replied confusedly.

"If it..." She started over. "If I said...it was meant for you... How would you like it then?"

"It had no ending." His voice was filled with regret.

Rising on her knees, she leaned forward to meet his mouth, lingering there uncaring of whether anybody saw. Surprised, Tasuki lost his balance, sending them both down on a dogpile. When she drew away, her eyes were bright with uncertainty. "How about that ending?"

He gazed up at her in silence until she moved to roll off and he grabbed her arm. "There's no need ta be scared 'round me, 'cause I want ya."

As they lay together on the sand, with the water crashing only a few feet away, she told herself that the exhaustion was due to the immense relief of his reply. He never said outright that he loved, her, but Lolita knew that Tasuki wasn't one for that, and was satisfied to press herself against him and give in to the slow lull of sleep.

She didn't think contentment came with breathing him in and feeling the traces of his hungry kiss on her lips, but there it was, tearing her between laughing or crying for joy. Curling up deeper into his bent body, she lay her forehead on his chest, feeling the heartbeat there. And all at once the moment seemed so fleeting, as if the significant things were nothing more than spirals of dust on the universe's book of records.

"Tasuki." Her head throbbed with the heavy responsibility of capturing the event forever. "Tasuki, are you still up?"

He groaned sleepily, cracking an eye to look at her. "What is it?"

"You'll always remember tonight, won't you?"

"'Course," he promised rather detachedly, intent on settling back to sleep.

It wasn't enough for her. "And you'll always remember it for me, too?"

Now wide-awake, he stared down in bewilderment. "What are ya gettin' at?"

"If anything happens tomorrow...if I don't wake up tomorrow, or ever again...you'll remember tonight for the two of us. Promise me."

"Lo, yer bein' silly. Nothin's gonna happen."

"Promise me," she insisted.

"A'right, `A promise." Pulling her closer, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Now go ta sleep."

Something, like a nightmare, woke him up. He couldn't remember what it was about, but the attempt to remember was immediately banished by the lightening sky. Beyond the sandy bank, sounds of early morning preparation had begun. A few small dots of orange campfire littered the ground around the parked caravans. Soon, some of the merchants would be heading to shore to fetch water and wash up.

Tasuki turned to the figure huddled against him, so sweet in sleep he hated to wake her. But they had to return to camp soon, or Chichiri was certain to come looking. Gently, he shook her shoulder.

No response.

"It's time ta get up." He shook her harder, but she stayed asleep. "Lo, is ya think this is funny, lemme tell ya that it's not." Behind the wheedling tone streaked the beginnings of panic. "Lolita, get up."

Sunshine touched the blue ocean, shimmering the waves in sharp white. Sounds of more and more people going about their daily business drifted in from camp. A few tiny figures have even begun to make their way over to the cove on the far side of the beach.

She didn't stir.

His heart chilled as the image of Ami out cold on and near death very easily turned into Lolita. Jealously, he gathered her up. When they touched, his life force overpowered the weak, dwindling one. It wasn't like that last night.

...Or had he been too preoccupied with kissing her to notice?

"...if I don't wake up tomorrow..."

He could almost swear he hated himself then. Somehow, she had known this day would come, but he had refused to pay attention to all the little signs. And now it was going to be too late.

"...or ever again...remember tonight..." The wind carried her voice almost into the vacuuming silence. For the last time, she wound her arm tightly around his waist. "...remember I love you."

It was then that the nightmare came back full force. He dreamt she had left him forever.

A/N: There you have it. I had this chapter all planned out days ago, but never quite felt up to writing it. And when I finally did, I had to start reading for school (whee! I finally have law subjects!), not to mention researching my costume and meeting up with the dressmaker for final arrangements. But at last, here's chapter 13.

I know I promised a cute chapter, but it turned out dramatic-ish (hangs head). I'm sorry for the disappointment... Things are gonna start going faster from here on (I hope so). I didn't expect to jump right to the middle of the story. But the timing just seemed so right I couldn't resist. (sigh)

You guys (I mean all of those who are still reading), please review. I've been saying this since chapter 1. Please. Oblige me.