The cabin was suddenly thrust into celebration mode, as everyone passed bottles and poured drinks. Conversations flowed and laughter spilled. I wandered over towards Kayla who was talking to Charlotte, Zoey, and Annabelle. I was just getting into the conversation when Merle popped his head into our little group.
"Hey ladies! What ya'll talking 'bout over here?" as he put on a sly grin.
"Uh, You'll have to excuse Merle here… he's a bit of a man-whore" Kayla warned the others.
They giggled.
"No … really", I said. "She's not kidding. He especially enjoys it when you sit on his lap"
Kayla and I shared a quick glance.
Merle turned to me, "Well Miss Sadie, why don't you come over here and sit on my lap, and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?"
Ewww. I groaned at the awful pick-up line.
Zoey and Annabelle laughed. Charlotte just got up and retorted "Baby, you're finer than a new set of snow tires" Then she nonchalantly gave Merle a pat on the butt, and walked over to refill her drink.
Oh. Dear. God.
Did this just turn into the Dating Game?
I looked around, trying to focus on something other than Merle's libido and noticed Pam and Michelle talking quietly with Beth in the corner. They looked awfully serious considering everyone else was in good spirits, on their way to getting wasted! They just seemed … I don't know … out of place. Maybe they weren't big drinkers. Of course, almost everyone was a drinker nowadays …when the opportunity presented itself anyway.
I could see Daryl eyeing them discreetly from across the room and had no doubt he found their behavior as odd as I did.
"OK guys … the stew's ready! Come and get it!" shouted Jamie.
Natasha and Glenn were already filling their bowls, and everyone else made their way to the small kitchen area.
I just couldn't bring myself to eat anything yet. Call it nerves or women's intuition or whatever the hell you want. I caught Daryl slipping out the front door ... followed by Pam and Michelle. I hoped that Daryl could find out what the hell they were up to. I decided if they weren't back in a half-hour I would go check things out.
Kayla must have noticed me, entranced by my own thoughts. She nudged me with her elbow, "What's buggin you? Aren't you gonna eat any supper?"
"Uh … no, I'm not real hungry right now. Maybe I'll eat in a little bit."
"Suit yourself … this stew is actually pretty tasty" she replied, with a mouthful.
Everyone else gobbled up their dinner at lightening speed, I assume because they were ready to start partying. Boy … was I right.
The next thing I know, Charlotte and Zoey brought out an old-fashioned tin washtub, the kind you use to bob for apples, and Merle started pouring all the different bottles of booze in together.
"I'll show you gals how to do it right! It's a helluva lot easier to mix it all in one big Punch Bowl, like this … tastes great too!"
Natasha was dipping glasses in and passing them out. Glenn and Jamie were practically forcing Shorty to drink some, even though she looked like she was gonna vomit after smelling the "party punch".
Annabelle, Beth, and Kayla were laughing and watching the chaos when Natasha came out with some playing cards. Zoey joined her and they decided to get a game of poker going. Glenn was busy cooing over his two "lady-friends", so I decided it was time to check on Daryl. Ok, actually I wanted to make sure that Daryl hadn't spit on anyone yet … but you get the point.
As I crept towards the front door, Pam and Michelle were heading back in with no Daryl in sight.
"Uh, have you guys seen Daryl?" I inquired.
"Yeah, he's taking watch for a few hours" said Pam.
Michelle piped up, "That'll give us some time to eat, then Pam and I will take the next watch"
"Oh, well I'm glad he decided to help out"
They just stared at me like I didn't even exist, and then headed to get some dinner.
Well, I'm glad that went well! Crazy bitches…
Well, fuck, I think I'm ready for a drink! I headed towards the tub to get a tasty drink of punch, when I noticed Glenn was gone. I asked Jamie and Natasha where he went, and they said he was just taking out some trash out back. Suddenly, we all heard a loud BANG and the cabin became silent.
CRASH! Glenn burst through the back door and made a bee-line for the front door.
"Look out! Look out! It'sssss a HUGE raccoon! Ahhhhhhhh!"
Everyone stood perfectly still as a raccoon made its way into the cabin, followed closely by Daryl.
A few of the ladies screamed and Kayla jumped into Beth's arms, oblivious to who was holding her!
Daryl paused, aimed, and swiftly took out the vermin with one arrow to the head.
I felt like hurling, but managed to keep it down. Looking up, I saw all of the women just staring at Daryl with wide eyes.
"What ya'll looking at? Ain't never seen a 'coon before? Sheesh …"
It took me a good minute to figure it out … but I think the alcohol had started to go to their heads because every last one of them was totally checking Daryl out! What the fuck?
As I looked at him, I noticed that he had no shirt on, and his bulging muscles were covered with a little glistening sweat and … wait, what I am thinking?"
By the time I snapped out of my thoughts, both Daryl and the raccoon were gone, the women now whispering and giggling to themselves! OK, this just got weird …
Leave it to Merle to break the silence …
"So, you ladies like my little bro? Well, let me just tell ya … his good looks run in the family! Shoot … I taught that boy everything he knows" Merle proceeded to start dancing, as if he was a stripper or something! Good gravy, why must I be subjected to this?
The drinking resumed and Kayla came running over to me.
"Holy shit Sadie ... I think I just got felt up by Beth! Hide me!"
I burst out laughing and she smacked lightly me on the arm.
"Fuck you … its not funny!"
"Ok, ok fine … let's get another drink and we'll try to avoid her for a while" I smirked.
The partying went on as everyone continued to get more and more plastered. The poker game turned into strip poker, and I tried to follow the game, but no one was really playing by the rules anymore. Glenn came up to me and started babbling some kind of jibberish.
"Sssssadie …. Tyou o twe titnny hmppster pannnsss?"
"What? Glenn, I can't understand a word you just said! Something about tiny hamster pants? What the hell does that mean?"
Glenn just put his face a few inches from mine and grinned like an idiot, then patted me on the head. Jesus, how did he get so …
"Wait, Glenn! Glenn look at me" a wave of panic settled over me.
I cupped his face in my hands and looked closely at his eyes. Holy fuck, they were as big as saucers!
I ran over to Jamie and Natasha "Guys, just out of curiosity, what all did you put in the stew?"
Jamie slurred something about a garden in back, and Natasha managed to tell me they put in potatoes, carrots, and onions.
"Natasha, honey … focus! Did anyone put any mushrooms in the stew?"
"uhhhh …. Oh wait! Glenn picked some for ussss! Huh huh yeah …"
.
I sank into my chair and tried to come to grips with the fact that I must now babysit 13 other people who were tripping their asses off! I tried to remember if everyone ate the stew or not, and that's when it hit me … I didn't see Daryl eat anything! I jumped to my feet and ran out the front door, spotting Daryl by the fence in front. I ran over to him, secretly thankful that he was fully-clothed by now.
"Daryl … holy shit … we got a problem" I said panting.
"Yeah, what's that?" he snapped.
"I think Glenn accidently put some wild mushrooms in the stew!"
"So what? Why would … " then it hit him. "Are you fuckin' with me Sadie? Cuz I don't appreciate it!"
"No Daryl! Do you think I'd lie about something like that?"
"Well … what the hell are we gonna do? Shouldn't we tell 'em all?"
"I don't know! That might make 'em freak out even more! If we can just get through the next couple of hours, maybe they'll all pass out from the booze"
Daryl and I walked slowly back toward the cabin.
"I never ate no mushrooms" he said to me "How we gonna know when they've kicked in?"
Just then … we heard a voice that was unmistakably Merle's …
"WOO-HOO! Hey ladies … Who wants a mustache ride?" followed by loud cheers from the house.
I turned to Daryl," Well … I believe they've kicked in!"
He just scowled and stormed his way into the cabin. This was going to be a LONG night!