Somehow, Pam had managed to drag Michelle into the cabin and set her down next to Beth, who was sitting on the floor. I was glad, because I really wanted to keep an eye on those two, even if they were completely fucked! Daryl was able to coerce Merle into filling up drinks, and Charlotte, Zoey, Shorty and Annabelle followed. I really wanted to warn Kayla and Glenn about what was going on. I grabbed Kayla and pulled her in close.
"Kayla, honey … uh, I don't want to worry you, but we're probably gonna be leaving real early in the morning."
"WHAT? WHY?" Kayla shouted at me. Her eyes looked as glazed as a Krispy Kreme doughnut, and she kinda wobbled when she stood still. Yeah, I guess there was no use in explaining everything to her.
"Shhhh … quiet down! Look, I know you're having a hootin' good time here and all, but something's come up. Just try to stay away from Beth, ok?" Kayla was already off in another world. Well … I tried.
I looked over at Glenn. He was having what looked liked the most serious conversation in the world with Jamie and Natasha. They all seemed so happy and I started to feel sorry for Glenn. His two "friends'" weren't the crazy ones plotting to ruin us all, why should they be punished? I decided it would be better not to tell Glenn about our escape, and let him have his fun while he could.
This whole zombie-apocalypse thing was really starting to get to me. Maybe it was just the booze talking, but before I knew it, tears started rolling down my cheeks and I couldn't hold it in. I ducked out the front door and sat down on the porch step, hoping no one saw my little "moment". How had everything gotten so completely screwed up? I sat there for a few minutes, then wiped my eyes, took a deep breath, and stood up. When I turned around, Daryl was standing in the doorway, just staring at me, still shirtless. He had no expression on his face whatsoever and I could feel my face beginning to flush. Christ, how long had he been there?
Our eyes met, and I think somehow he just knew. He knew why I was freaked out, he knew why I didn't want anyone to know, and he knew why I couldn't stop looking at him. Damn.
Without I word, I looked down and started to shuffle past him into the cabin. He grabbed my arm as I passed by and said softly, "don't be fallin' apart on me now, Sadie". I just nodded and headed for the punch bowl. I really, really needed a drink and something to take my mind off of this crazy bullshit.
Aaannnddd that would be Merle's queue … he always saves the day, doesn't he?
"Ok ladies! I think its 'bout time, me and sugar-buns here got hitched. I can tell she's a-waitin' fer me ta do my husbandly duties … so if ya don't mind, we need ta find a pastor." What was he thinking? Maybe the shrooms actually erased his memory a little. Hell, maybe that's a good thing!
Just then Kayla raised her hand and started waving it all around like a school-girl. "Oh, Oh … ME! I can do it! I can marry you guys … I know the words to the ceremony and everything"
This should be interesting.
Time to get this plan started. I headed towards the punch bowl, when Pam followed me. "Sadie … add this in, I think it will help" She handed me a bottle of clear liquid that had no label on it. I gave her a quizzical look, and she mouthed "moonshine" to me. Ah ha! Yep … that should do the trick! I dumped it in the bowl and stirred it up. Daryl sauntered over to us and grabbed 3 cups, filling them about halfway. He handed one to Pam and one to me. He held up his cup, "All right you two, don't be gettin' wasted … we got a lot 'o work ta do" The three of us clanked our cups together and downed our "shots". Dear God, that shit burned! I could already feel my toes tingle a little and my body starting to heat up. I made a mental note not to drink any more of that, or we might never make it out of here!
Pam whistled loudly to get everyone's attention, and I shouted "MORE DRINKS GUYS!"
The herd headed our way, as we filled cups and encouraged everyone to drink up. I'm pretty sure none of them noticed the "addition" to the punch. Part of me felt a little bad, knowing full-well what their hangovers were going to feel like tomorrow! I made sure to fill Beth's cup all the way up to the top … no sense in having Big Bertha conscious when we escape.
Suddenly, Zoey proclaimed that is was getting hot in here and proceeded to take off her clothes. Shit.
Although … she did have a point. That damn moonshine was making everyone hot, including me.
Glenn stood up and said, "Yeah, why issss it ssssso fuckin hot?" and he followed Zoey's lead and started stripping. Of course, this meant that Jamie and Natasha had to join in!
I scanned the room, and everyone was taking off clothes, left and right! EEEK! This was soooo not going the direction I wanted it to. Of course … I forgot to factor in the amount of courage you suddenly acquire after drinking moonshine.
Pretty soon, everyone was naked … well, half-naked. Thank heavens they all left their underwear on. Merle came this close to taking off his tightie-whities, until Charlotte smacked him a good one. Of course Daryl still had his jeans on, and after the 'near-lynching' he got earlier, I understood why! I spotted Daryl and Merle tipping back drinks and I noticed that Daryl had a full bottle of Southern Comfort in his hand. Great … and he tells us not to get wasted! After a closer look, I noticed that the liquid in the bottle was clear. Hot damn … Daryl was smarter than the average bear. He must have filled up the bottle with water. I was surprisingly relieved!
I saw Pam bending down to talk to Michelle and Beth, who were still sitting on the floor. My stomach suddenly became uneasy, wondering if she still planned to help us, or if it was just a lie to get us to trust her.
I tried to wander over that way (all covert, and shit) but I was stopped by Annabelle.
"Sadie! We gotta find a bouquet for the weddin' don't ya think?" She was high as a kite.
"Yeah, sure Annabelle … what do you have that we can use?"
She looked around briefly. "Well … not much. Just this old tube sock of Merle's."
What the fuck would we use THAT for? I tried not to laugh out loud, as I could tell she meant well.
"I tell you what Annabelle, I'll go get some flowers … or something out back. You just wait here. Oh, and make sure everybody has a full drink, would ya?"
The smile on her face beamed brighter than a spotlight. I headed out back and grabbed a few flowers, and some grass and weeds. Hell, I'm sure no one would pay attention to the damn bouquet anyway! I gave them to Annabelle, and she tied them up with Merle's sock. That was one bouquet I wasn't going to make an effort to catch!
"OK Kayla … you ready to marry these two lovebirds, or what?" I yelled across the room. Everybody gathered in the middle of the room and made an "aisle" by standing in two rows. I heard Merle mumble something about hoping he didn't cry, and Charlotte hurried to the back door so she could make her "grand entrance". Merle was so wasted that Daryl was basically holding him upright. As the ladies began to hum the wedding song, I had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing out loud!
I mean … think about it. Here was a group of adults, in the middle of a zombie-apocalypse, all drunk and tripping on "magic" mushrooms, standing in their underwear, in a cabin in the middle of the woods about to perform a "wedding" to imaginary music! You know, any other weekend, this might have seemed normal, but to me it was just downright hysterical! My body shook with giggles, and I hoped desperately that they would hum louder so no one would catch me!
Struggling to calm myself down, I looked over to see Kayla with a tablecloth draped around her like a priest, pretending to bless everyone with holy water … well actually it was holy moonshine, but that's beside the point. Jamie & Natasha were holding Glenn's hands, and even Beth and Michelle had managed to scoot across the floor and sat at Kayla's feet. Charlotte took her first steps towards hillbilly matrimony and I reached into my pocket and felt the 'infamous' Sharpie. I suddenly had a GREAT idea …