There's not much to say
"I'm sorry Vicki."
Bebe waited on the Broflovski's doorstep for Vicki to say something. She'd gotten past being angry with the other girl's choices, now that she could see them a little clearer. This wasn't a betrayal of Kenny by any means—it was her way of surviving. It had just been harder for her to accept than Butters, or Wendy, or Stan, because she didn't know how it felt. She didn't know what it was like to love someone so much that losing them made your whole world fall apart. So it had taken her a little while to come around, but she had.
"What's there to be sorry for? You were right."
The blonde shook her head. "There's a difference between being correct and being right. It was wrong of me to say those things to you. You weren't in a good place; you're still not in a good place. But you're in a better one, and I understand it a little better."
"You don't have to understand. All you need to do is accept."
"Then that's what I've done."
Vicki nodded, and opened the door wider. "You wanna come in and see what I've been working on?"
Bebe nodded and followed her friend into the Broflovski's dining room, where a sea of pale gold awaited them. "With all this time on my hands, I've been able to get centerpieces, swags, gifts, and all the things I can do here done. The bridesmaid dresses are in too, if you wanna try yours on."
"Wendy should be here for that, so we can do it together."
She shrugged, and moved some parchment cuttings off a chair to clear a place to sit. "You're cool with Wendy being Maid of Honour, right? Because Stan's the best man..."
"It's fine." Bebe assured her. "I think it makes it easier. Who's the other groom's man?"
"Butters. It was supposed to be Kyle, originally..."
"You don't need to say it."
They sat together in silence, Vicki absently rubbing a hand over the baby. Though obviously pregnant, she was still smaller than they'd all expected. But that might have had something to do with all the time she'd spent mourning. "Vicki, did you tell your parents?"
"No. I'm not planning on it either." She scowled. "It'll be just one more thing they were right about, because they 'always knew that McCormick boy was a flake'. Like dying trying to help your family makes you a flake."
"I think they deserve to know—"
"They gave up the right to know when they made me choose between them and Kenny! And it wasn't hard to choose, either, because I knew what I wanted, and it wasn't them."
Bebe wished she hadn't asked. Vicki's parents were always a sore spot with her. There weren't many people she hated more. Even Cartman had gotten some of her sympathy in the end. "They thought it was a schoolyard crush. They wanted to go back to their friends and family."
"But I'm their family—I'm their daughter!"
"And how much time did you even spend with them while they were here for three years?"
Vicki opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out. She knew the truth was that she hadn't spent time with them. It had all been avoiding their questions and sneaking out to be with Kenny. Always, she'd chosen Kenny over them. And the scary thing—the thing they'd known—is that Kenny wasn't going to be forever. But they'd always be her parents. Emancipated or not.
"Why does everyone think it's their job to point out where I've gone wrong?" She asked, sounding almost beaten down.
"I don't know, Vicki. Maybe it's because we can see where you're wrong better than you can."
"Well, I think I don't really need to worry about that anymore. With no more love to cloud my judgement, and Kyle probably micro-managing my life...how am I going to go wrong?"
Bebe shrugged. "There's always being a mother."
"I'm going to have super-Jew-mother as my mother-in-law." Vicki reminded her. "And if Ike's anything to go by, she's not going to have a problem spoiling someone else's child rotten."
"You're not naming Kyle as the father on the birth certificate?"
"Why would I when everyone knows it's Kenny?"
Another shrug. "I guess I was thinking legal stuff."
She sighed. "Well Kyle can adopt Kennedy legally..."
Bebe caught site of an envelope from Town Hall peeking out from underneath a stack of menus. "You got the marriage certificate already?"
"No, no..." Vicki pulled it out, and handed it to her. "When I went to apply for the new one, Linda gave me the one Kenny got for us. She said they didn't need to shred it, because they already had Kenny's death certificate, so I could have it."
"What are you going to do with it?"
"Kyle suggested I bring it to the wedding, and when we sign our certificate, I could write something across the signature lines. Something like 'Goodbye'."
Bebe nodded in agreement. "I think that would be your closure, Vicki. I think it would be really important."
ЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖ When someone said count your blessings now, 'fore they're long gone ЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖ
"Stan, why the fuck is there a dead end at the back of the kitchen?"
Rather than answer Clyde, Stan just ripped the plans out of his hands. "Why the fuck would I know—I didn't plan it."
"Well it's actually your kitchen." He reminded him.
"Yeah, but in my house, that's the back door. But Kenny did his alterations, for whatever reason—"
"Because if or when they needed more room, Kenny was going to knock out that wall, and build on an addition with a hallway and a couple of bedrooms." They both turned to see Kyle ambling up the dirt road they'd been making with Jimbo's truck. "Hey guys."
"KYLE?" Tweek shrieked from the other side of the site. "What are you DOING here?"
"Yeah, you're supposed to getting shit done for your wedding." Craig spat.
Stan could see that Kyle was pissed off by this welcome. But rather than having an outburst like he would have had even four years ago, he climbed up into the bed of the truck, and made sure he had their attention.
"I know you guys are pissed off at me, and I've realized I've got some explaining to do. You think I'm betraying Kenny by marrying Vicki, but four years ago, I promised Kenny I'd take care of her. I failed—she got hurt—so I felt I needed to keep working on that promise. And then when they came to tell me Vicki was pregnant, she asked me to be the godfather. That means taking care of that little girl growing inside the woman I've already promised both Kenny and myself I would take care of. So when Kenny died, and left her broken—and you know that's what Vicki was—I knew I had to try to pick up the pieces.
"So yeah, I'm marrying her. She's gonna live with me and my parents until this house is finished, or longer if she doesn't want to live here. That's up to her. And my mom's gonna help raise Kennedy as well as she raised me and Ike. And even though I know Vicki and I aren't a couple—aren't ever meant to be a couple—we're going to make this work somehow."
They looked sufficiently cowed. Craig was rubbing the back of his neck nervously, Token was avoiding looking at Kyle, Tweek had stopped twitching, and Clyde looked like he was about to cry. Stan couldn't help but admit he felt kinda lousy too, and he knew about that stuff. But he'd still felt it was too fast, and with Kyle and Vicki's history...he'd made a few assumptions.
"...So..." Token said after a long silence. "Is there anything else we should know about the house?"
That was what it took to break the tension, and then they were right back into it, arguing over the kitchen, and if it should be partitioned off from the living area. Stan, of course, wanted to follow Kenny's plan to the letter, while Token couldn't see why they needed a wall. Craig was playing Devil's Advocate and being a nuisance, Clyde was going along with his boyfriend, and Tweek...was freaking out under 'Too much pressure!'. Which left Kyle to form an opinion.
"You know there's a compromise, right? We could build a half-wall, so that you can see the living area from that part of the kitchen, but still run the electrical for the outlets Kenny wanted there."
They all stared at him. "Dude, why the fuck didn't we think of that?" Stan asked, smacking himself in the forehead.
"Because you have too many jocks, and not enough geeks." Kyle deadpanned.
"Since when is Tweek a jock?" Craig smirked. "He's just a spaz."
"Arrrh! I'm NOT a spaz!" Tweek protested. "Or am I? Oh my God, what if I am a spaz? What if I've been in denial this whole time? WHAT IF I'M CRAZY?"
"Tweek!" Craig snapped his fingers in front of his best friend's face. "Calming breaths dude, just take calming breaths. You're not crazy."
It was only after Tweek had calmed down some, that Craig seemed to notice they had everyone's attention. "What the fuck are you guys staring at?"
Stan shrugged. "Probably the gayest thing I've ever seen from two straight guys.
Craig went for his default response—he flipped him off.
ЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖ I guess I just didn't know how, I was all wrong ЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖ
She couldn't help feeling a little jealous, Wendy decided. After all, who wouldn't be jealous of a house when their boyfriend was spending all his time with it, working on it, neglecting her...
That was the mindset she carried as she walked down the muddy trail of tire tracks that served as the 'road' in to the site. She needed to either put an end to this, or at least get Stan to hear how she felt about it. It wasn't good for him to be working all day on a house he didn't ever plan on living in, and going to bed as soon as he got home; too tired to even call her to sleep over.
But she understood it too. It was his way of getting past being sad and angry about Kenny, and the upcoming wedding, and leaving everything to go to New York with her. It was harder for him—she'd never gotten quite as close to Kenny and Vicki as he had—but it had to happen too. They had to move on with their lives.
Nearing the site, she could hear the guys yelling at each other. Shit; she was probably about to walk into a screaming match between them, where everything came out and they beat the mourning out of each other.
"Kyle's right you fucktards!" That was Clyde for sure—she never heard Craig raise his voice like that.
"Arrrh! But what if it doesn't work? WE COULD DIE!" Definitely Tweek.
Entering the clearing, she expected to see them at each other's throats. Instead, they were standing around Kyle, who was holding the folder known as the 'Master Plan' in his hands. "I swear to God, you guys, this will work. Kenny wrote it down here, so it's gotta be right."
"You trust a guy, who was known for dying, with your life?" Craig looked like he was debating Kyle's sanity.
Wendy decided they wouldn't notice her unless she spoke up. "It's going to work, whatever it is, because Kenny was the best builder we knew."
They all turned to look at her. "Wendy, what are you doing here?" Stan asked.
"Finding out what's so Goddamn special about the house that you're always over here working on it."
She had to admit, it was pretty impressive so far. The house rested on thick support beams resting on concrete footings. The outside walls were up, and what she could see of them was covered in thick, waterproof tar paper. There wasn't a roof yet, though, only blue plastic sheeting draped over the framework. "What are you guys arguing about anyways?"
Token cleared his throat importantly. "See how the roof's nothing but framework? Kenny was planning on using one by eight planks to provide the roof base layer, staring from the edge and working his way up, so they would support weight as he went. "These idiots," he pointed to Stan, Craig, and Tweek, "think that we should use plywood first, because they don't trust their own nail guns."
"I do!" Stan insisted. "It's just that another layer would keep it warmer..."
"Stan, of course, doesn't realize that we'll be putting in insulation and another interior layer of planks."
"The plywood's also cheaper." Craig added. "And we've only got like half the money left from The Mole."
Wendy could feel a headache coming on. "It's cheaper, but kind of useless. Go with the planks." Wait, why was she helping them solve their problems with the house when she was supposed to be getting Stan away from it? "Stan, do you think you could take a few days off from this?"
"Why?"
"Because I hardly ever see you."
He thought for a second. "You could help. We could make you in charge of the Master Plan. Kyle's been trying, but he doesn't have the authority."
Kyle punched him in the arm. "You make it sound like we need Cartman and his 'authori-tah'."
"...He would've been really good at this." Stan admitted. "If it wasn't Kenny and Vicki's house."
They all nodded solemnly. No one wanted to be the one to say it, but they missed Cartman too. Nowhere near as much as Kenny, but he'd been their friend of sorts, and he'd had his uses. Hell, even Wendy missed him at times; when your rival was gone, you lost that person you competed against. She'd tried thinking of Kyle as her rival, but it hadn't been the same. Kyle didn't antagonize her the was Cartman had.
"Know what? I'll stay, but on Friday, you and I are taking the day off and going to a movie Stan. Okay?"
He saluted her. "Yes, Ms. Forman ma'am."
ЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖ They knew better, still you said forever ЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖ
Kyle couldn't help feeling helpless as he sat in the kitchen. Things weren't going as he'd expected. Instead of making he and Vicki closer, this wedding seemed to be driving them apart. They hardly talked, and when they did it wasn't alone. She was always going off to either a wedding appointment, or a baby one, or working in the dining room, or hiding in her room. It was like she was avoiding him. How were they supposed to be partners and parents?
"What's wrong, Bubbe?" Oh great; his mom had found him.
"Nothing's wrong." He lied. "I'm just tired from working on the house with the guys today."
Sheila sat herself down across from her son. "You know you're a terrible liar in the first place, and an even worse one when it comes to lying to your mother. What is it that's bothering you?"
"...How are Vicki and I supposed to be in this together when I hardly get a minute alone with her?"
"You knew when you asked her to marry you that it wasn't going to be a romance. She's still trying to sort out how she feels, and part of that might be that she feels guilty that she's taking the chance to have what she and Kenny had away from you."
"I never wanted that."
She shrugged. "Well, it was hard to guess what would happen. You took a chance."
"And it backfired." Kyle added. "And now I don't know if we're even best friends."
Sheila gave her son a long, searching look. "You're still best friends. Once the wedding is over, and the dust has settled, you'll be able to see that. And I think you'll both be glad for it, because being married to your best friend is easier than being married to whoever you're having a child with."
"You mean Vicki and Kenny?"
"I mean Kenny's parents. I can tell you right now that Stuart and Carol had a literal shot-gun wedding after Carol's dad found out she was pregnant with Kevin. He went barrelling down to Stuart's shack, and rammed that shot-gun right under his chin, saying 'you had enough balls to get her pregnant, now have enough balls to marry her, else I'll blow them off with buckshot.'"
Kyle gulped. Good thing he'd always been one for 'caution'. "Weren't you in Newark when that happened, Ma? 'Cause Kevin's like three years older than me."
She chuckled. "Carol used to love telling that story all the time. Probably because it pissed Stuart off so bad."
He guessed the situation with Vicki could be a lot worse. They weren't going to resent each other or the baby the rest of their lives. They'd eventually get over it all. Things would get better. "...Thanks Ma."
"Any time, Bubbe. It's what I'm here for."
ЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖ And ever... who knew? ЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖЖ
"Hey Kenny."
It felt weird, and a little stupid, to be standing in the graveyard talking to Kenny's grave. But everyone else seemed to have done it at least once—Butters came once a week, and even Stan had been with Wendy once. So they all kept telling her to come and just tell Kenny about everything, so she could feel better about the wedding. Vicki doubted it would work...
"Nothing's the same since you left. Stan and the guys have thrown themselves into the house, Sheila's been driving me distracted with fussing over me—though I expected it when I moved into Kyle's—and Kyle..."
The words caught in her throat, but she forced them out in a rough whisper. "Kyle asked me to marry him, Ken... I said yes. I can't do it alone, and Kyle's here. Kyle cares..."
Kyle cared too much. But not the way Kenny had. "When you said it would be the last time you went to Kevin's rescue, I never expected this. Why did that have to be the first promise you broke, Ken? Why'd you promise it at all?"
She felt her knees buckle, and sank to the ground, hands resting on the smooth granite marker. "You left me! When everything was going right, and we were making plans, you left! And now it's all gone to shit, and I'm marrying Kyle next week when it was supposed to be you!"
Tears slipped down her face and moistened the cool stone. "And I can scream and cry at your grave, and at Heaven, all I like but it's not going to bring you back. Nothing's bringing you back, Ken."
She must have looked crazy; this pregnant girl kneeling on a grave, crying and talking to no one. But Vicki couldn't bring herself to care. They all knew anyways. There wasn't a soul in South Park that didn't know how they'd been the perfect young lovers starting a family, until he'd been torn away forever. There wasn't a soul in South Park that didn't know how the wedding was still on, with Kyle Broflovski replacing the groom. There wasn't a soul in South Park who knew just how much it had broken her to accept his proposal.
"I'm gonna have to do it, Ken. I can't let my life stop because you're gone, because Kennedy's gonna need her mom. I'm the one who's going to tell her about her dad, because anyone could tell her what a horn-dog you were, but only I know just how fuckin' amazing you were outside the sack. You were my everything, but now that that's over its gonna be her.
"And as far as Kyle and I go... he and I will get by. We'll go through the motions, I think, of marriage. The sex will be good, we'll talk about everything...it'll be the same as being married to your best friend with benefits. And that's all he'll ever be to me, Kenny. No matter how deeply he'll think he's fallen in love with me, no matter how many years I share his bed. Kyle's my best friend—you're my love. I'm never gonna forget that."
Getting up, she brushed the dirt from her knees. "I promise."
I'll keep you locked in my head, until we meet again
I won't forget you my friend... what happened?
I still cry every time I read the end of this chapter