A/N: Sorry again about the delay. I'm getting married in (holy crap) six weeks and even though work has slowed down my life is ridiculously hectic. Anyway, thanks again to everyone who reviewed. And sorry for the confusion in the last chapter about who sang Baby Got Back. It was originally going to be Matt, but I changed my mind and wanted Mike to do it. Apparently, two in the morning, on a weeknight, after you've just finished writing is not the best time to proof read. Who knew? Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter, either way though, review and let me know ;)

Chapter 11

We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh. – Agnes Repplier

If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile. – Lynda Barry

Rachel yawned and stretched I love Sundays, it's the one day I don't have to do anything. "'Bout damn time. I've been here forever."

Rachel shot up in bed, eyes wide in surprise, "Oh, god, I'm still asleep. I'm having one of those weird dreams where you know you're asleep, but can't wake up." She muttered staring at Santana.

Santana snorted, "What the hell are you talking about?"

Rachel squeezed her eyes closed, "Wake up, wake up. WAKE UP!"

"Things like this, right here, are why people think you're a psycho." Santana said sitting down on the bed, next to Rachel. Quick as a snake she grabbed Rachel's arm and pinched her as hard as she could.

"Ow, damn it."

Santana raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Not dreaming, weirdo."

Pouting Rachel rubbed at the red mark on her arm. "What are you doing here at," she glanced at her alarm clock, "eight forty-five in the morning."

"Jesus, your grouchy."

"You pinched me. And it's eight forty-five in the morning."

"Because you were freaking the fuck out, pay attention. I thought you were supposed to be smart."

Rachel closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "What are you doing here."

"I need help."

Rachel snorted, "You don't say."

Santana rolled her eyes, "Lame. You'd think that fucking Puck you'd at least get some good comebacks."

Rachel's eyes bulged as she turned red, "I'm not… we're not… God, my dads are downstairs. And we're not having sex." She hissed.

Laughing Santana made herself comfortable, "Why not? He's fucking awesome at it."

"I haven't… before and I'm not..." Rachel muttered to herself as she rubbed her hands over her face. "Kill me now."

Santana shrugged, "You're not ready, 's cool. You should wait then. My first time was with Jack Chen in the beginning of freshman year, he was a junior. It sucked and I mean sucked. Not even a little bit either, hugely. You know what they say about Asians, totally true in his case. It didn't start getting better 'til Puck right before sophomore year started."

Rachel stared at her, mouth agape, shaking her head slightly. "Why are you telling me this?"

"It's not like it's a huge secret, he was kind of a douche like that. Besides, I like to let as many people as possible know about his tiny dick."

"Noah?" Rachel asked confused.

"Chen. You should do yourself a favor though and let him go down on you; Puck, not Chen. Chen couldn't get you off if his life depended on it, especially not with his tongue." Rachel sputtered and turned bright red. Laughing Santana nudged Rachel with her shoulder, "Already let him, huh. How fucking good is he with his mouth?"

Rachel smiled slowly, "Amazing." She wasn't sure what made her answer, she was sitting in bed with her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, a girl who literally used to torment her, talking about how good said boyfriend was at oral sex. "I want to sleep with him." She muttered suddenly.

Santana blinked a moment, "Well, yeah. You've got a pulse… and a vagina. Though I'm not sure both of those things are necessary." Rachel grinned.

The knock on her door startled them both, "Rachel, sweetie?"

"Yes, daddy?" God, I hope he didn't hear us.

The door opened, "Good, I wanted to make sure you weren't sleeping while your friend was here. You should get out of bed, it's rude."

She pressed her lips together tightly, "Okay, daddy."

"Dad and I are going to be leaving in a few minutes, we'll be back next Sunday. The flight lands at…"

"Seven in Dayton, yes I know. And you'll be home by nine." Rachel hopped out of bed to give Alan a hug. "Have fun."

"Yes, I'm sure that a week of seminars on everything from hydrocephalus to nerve grafting will be very entertaining."

"At least after we can explore London." Richard replied, walking into the room. "Have a good week, Pumpkin. Be good."

"I will." She hugged Richard, "Bye, dad." When she turned around Santana was looking at her strangely. "What?"

"Your dads are gonna be out of town. For a week."

"So?"

"So? So, your dads are gonna be out of town, for a week. We are gonna have a kick ass party."

"What? No." Rachel said in a panic. "Absolutely not."

"Why the hell not, it'll be epic."

Rachel rolled her eyes, "Not everything in the damn world is epic." She muttered. "And because practically everyone in school hates me."

"Hmm, that's not entirely true. Most people don't know who you are." Rachel huffed in annoyance, but Santana continued as if she hadn't heard. "But I guess we can start out slow. Like the people from glee."

"Yeah, like I want to invite Finn to a party at my house."

Santana shrugged, "So don't invite him. It's your party, besides half the fun of having a party is not inviting certain people."

"Well, maybe. If I don't invite Finn. Or Kurt. Or Mercedes."

Santana laughed, "There you go. We'll get the details worked out and let people know later in the week. Anyway, before I forget, the reason I came here, before all the talk about sex and parties, you're kind of a perv, you know that?"

"ME?"

"I need help in bio."

"You want me to tutor you in bio?"

"Yeah, Traci's a little bit of a dumbass and I can't fail. Sylvester will kick me off the Cheerios before you can say McKinley."

"I guess." Rachel looked at her clock, "Noah should be here pretty soon. I tutor him in bio too. If you want to stay I could do you both at the same time." She faltered slightly. "And, yes, I do know what I just said, but we're not going to talk about it," she glanced at Santana's amused face, "because it's never, ever going to happen. So what did you need help with?"

"Okay, beside the fact that you want to do me and Puck together, and who could blame you, we're both really hot, that taxonomic rank shit. I can never remember what order they go in."

"King Philip came over to fuck girl scouts."

"The hell? Did you just say 'fuck'?"

"I did, yes. It's been known to happen."

"And what's with the creepy pedophilia?"

"Excuse me?"

"Some dude fucking girl scouts."

Rachel snickered, "It's how I remember the order; kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, species. King Philip came over to fuck girl scouts."

"How much time, exactly, have you been spending with Puck?"

"Quite a bit, but he's not the one who came up with the mnemonic. In fact, he's been dying to hear me say fuck forever."

"I bet he has. Especially if he's inside you and you're all," she adopted a high pitched, breathy voice, "'Yes, Noah! Fuck me harder.'"

"One, gross. Two, I do not sound like that."

"Well, since you're not going to do us together, I guess I'll never know. I'll just have to imagine it."

"Do not imagine Noah and I having sex."

Santana closed her eyes, "Here I go. And yes, you do sound exactly like that." She laughed at the scowl on Rachel's face when she opened her eyes. "I'm gonna get going, since you're not into threesomes." The scowl deepened, "How about tomorrow? Cheerios let out at four and we don't have glee."

"We wont have time to get anything done. I have a voice lesson at five thirty and since my dads are going to be away I'm going to have to take the bus, it'll take me at least forty minutes to get there."

"You don't drive?"

"No."

"Like at all?"

Rachel shook her head in confusion, "No."

"Why?"

Rachel turned red, "Um, there was an incident when I first got my permit and now my dads don't let me drive. I figure it's only going to be a couple of years until I go to New York and wont need a car, so it doesn't really matter."

"What could possibly have happened that your parents don't let you drive?"

"It's not important." Rachel replied as the blush crept up her neck.

"No really, what happened?"

"It's really not important."

Santana narrowed her eyes; "I will get it out of you. But I can drive you if you want."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it's fine. You help me, I help you. Everybody wins."

"Symbiotic."

Santana stared at her blankly, "What?"

"Oh, god, you do need help. Okay, yes, we'll start tomorrow."

"Cool. So I'm gonna let myself out so you and Puck can do whatever it is that the two of you do and head home."

Rachel glanced at her clock as Santana walked out the door, crap. Noah's going to be here any minute. She glanced in her closet, shrugged, it's not like I'm going anywhere, and grabbed her usual at home wear of jeans and a tank top. She heard Santana laughing as she wiggled into the jeans, "Santana Lopez, stop picturing me naked." She called down the stairs.

"Well, from the show I just got, it doesn't look like she'll have to picture too hard." She heard Puck say as pulled her shirt over her head.

She whipped around, "You scared me."

He grinned, tossed his books on her still unmade bed, "Sorry. I have to say, though, when she said to ask you about girl scouts fucking I was a little disturbed." He grabbed her hips, pulled her flush against him. "Now I'm intrigued" her eyebrows rose "and more than a little turned on."

"Yes, I feel that." Damn it, her voice was all breathy and high.

He snickered, ran his hand up her side, groaned. "Do you do this to kill me?"

"What?" She asked sucking in a breath as he ran his thumb over her nipple.

"You're not wearing a bra."

"I was rushing, do you want me to put one on?"

"Fuck no." He bent his head to her, but pulled back confused when she pushed at his chest. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just, wait right here." She darted to her bathroom, closing the door behind her. She stood for a moment, took a deep breath, let it out. Then she dashed to the sink to brush her teeth and hair.

"Do I even want to know?" Puck asked when she walked out. She stopped short; he was lying on her bed, her neatly made bed. "What?"

"You made my bed."

"So? I know you don't like things to be messy. And what else was I supposed to do while you were doing god knows what in there." He inclined his head towards the bathroom.

She giggled as he stood up, crossed his arms defensively. "I was brushing my teeth, since I hadn't yet. Santana showed up here this morning. It threw me off."

He wanted to ask what Santana had been doing there in the first place, but she pounced on him, legit pounced on him, and he wasn't an idiot.

She quickly pulled his shirt over his head, pressed open-mouthed kisses along his jaw line before wriggling down. She pulled his head down, nipped at his lower lip with her teeth as she tugged on his nipple ring. "Fuck, Rach."

She looked up at him through heavy lidded eyes, and fuck if he didn't get his pants off soon he was going to die.

"Noah, there's something I've been wanting to try." Her hands dropped to the button of his jean, flicked it open.

"Have at it." He muttered and had her giggling again as she pulled at the zipper, pushed his jeans down. "Maybe you could not, you know, laugh when my pants are around my knees, 'k? How 'bout you comment on how awesome I am."

Biting the inside of her cheek she lowered herself to her knees, "God, Noah, you're so big."

"Wiseass." He looked down at her noticing that she was looking at him nervously. "Hey," he said cupping her cheek, "you know you don't have to, right?"

"No, I want to. It's just that I've never done it before and I don't want to be bad at it. Just tell me if I'm doing something wrong. Okay?"

"Rach, your mouth is going to be on my dick, I'm pretty sure there's nothing you could do wrong with that." She smiled up at him, Christ I'm gonna come before she even touches me. "Just, you know, watch the teeth."

Smiling she leaned forward and licked a stripe up he underside of his shaft. "Holy shit." He muttered, his hand sliding into her hair, fisting it when she ran her tongue around the head. His eyes rolled back into his head when she used her hand to play with his balls. "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit." He muttered when he hit the back of her throat and couldn't help thrusting into her mouth.

"Mmph."

He looked down at her, her lips stretched around him, "Sorry." He choked out. "Didn't mean to."

She released him with a soft pop, used her hand to stroke him. "It's fine, I told you, no gag reflex. You just surprised me."

"Don't… shit yeah… don't wanna hurt you."

"I'm fine." She murmured before taking him into her mouth again.

He couldn't take his eyes off her; the sight of her head bobbing up and down had him on the brink faster than normal, way faster. When he realized he wasn't going to be able to hold off he knew he had to warn her, it was the polite thing to do. "Rach."

"Hmm?"

His hips jerked in response. "Oh, god." Puck tugged her hair slightly, pulling her head back. "Rach… gonna… fuck… gonna come." She locked eyes with him and swallowed around him. That was all it took, he let out a loud moan as he emptied himself into her mouth. It hit him as he watched her swallow while he was tugging off his shoes, pulling his jeans the rest of the way off. He was in love with her. When the fuck had that happened?

"What?" Rachel asked self-consciously, tugging at the bottom of her shirt. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Rather than responding he grabbed her face in his hands kissed her roughly, backed her towards the wall. He pulled her shirt over her head, throwing her shirt somewhere in the direction of her bed, and latched himself to her breast. "Noah." She moaned as one hand gripped the back of his head, the other flattened on the wall beside her. Smiling against her he switched to her other breast. "More, god, more."

He opened the button of her jeans, pushed them down her hips, smiled at her pink polka dotted panties, ran his tongue around her bellybutton. He kissed each of her hipbones gently before hooking his fingers into the front of her panties to pull them down. He tossed them over his shoulder, grinned up at her, kissed the inside of her thigh. "Noah," she whined, "please."

"Please what?" He asked pulling her left leg over his shoulder. He turned his head, kissed the inside of her knee. Her leg jerked as she moaned.

"Noah, stop teasing."

Grinning he spread her with his fingers and circled her clit with his tongue. He pulled back to look up at her, "You taste so good."

"Less talking." She whimpered.

Chuckling to himself he slid two fingers into her as he flattened his tongue against her. He mentally patted his back when he felt her muscles begin to flutter around him, her heel digging into his back. He pumped his fingers faster and sucked hard on her clit. Her back bowed off the wall and her hand pressed his face to her. "God, Noah."

"Yeah, I'm pretty fucking amazing." He replied, setting her foot down. He watched as she slid down the wall to join him on the floor.

"Tired."

He yawned, "Me too. It's still early, lets take a nap."

"Okay. Can you carry me to bed?"

"I don't think so, can you carry me?"

"Definitely not."

"Let's sleep right here then."

"Okay." She muttered snuggling against him.

Rachel woke up several hours later to him slowly stroking her back. "Hey, I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't. How long have you been awake?"

"Not long." Half an hour. He bent his head to kiss her softly. He made his way to her neck, biting the juncture of her neck and shoulder gently as he palmed a breast. Even as she moaned her stomach growled. Laughing quietly he pulled back to look down at her, "Hungry?"

"A little. I haven't eaten anything today." He watched in fascination as the flush started at her chest and worked its way up.

He placed a soft kiss between her breasts, "I've always wondered where that started. Come on." He said getting to his feet, pulling her with him. "Let's get some food in you." He walked towards her door, only to turn around at her horrified gasp. "What?"

"Noah!" She said scandalized, "We can't go down there, we're naked."

He grinned lecherously at her, "Yeah, I know."

"Stop it." She tried for stern, but they could both hear the laugh in her voice. Turning she found her panties, tugged them on.

"Boo!"

"Idiot." She said affectionately pulling his shirt over her head. "Here," she handed him his pants, "put these on."

"But we're home alone."

"And we're putting clothes on to go to the kitchen and eat."

"But walking around the house naked when you're home alone is one of life's greatest pleasures." She just raised her eyebrows in response. "Not counting what we just did to each other."

"Put your pants on, Noah." She replied shaking her head.

"But…"

"Put your pants on."

"Lame, shorty, very lame."

"For that we're going to study while we eat lunch." She picked up his biology book.

"I take it back, your not lame, your awesome."

Laughing she set the book down on the kitchen table, "I know, but when you go home your mom is going to ask you what we did. Somehow I don't think telling her that we preformed oral sex on each other would be an appropriate response." She pulled out glasses poured each of them some water, took a sip of hers.

"I dunno, she really likes you."

Rachel choked as she attempted to swallow the water, "That's weird." She coughed again, "And kind of creepy."

"Yeah, she's a freak. So what do you have for lunch?"

"I don't know. There should be some leftovers from the Thai we had last night. Why don't you grab that, I'll grab some plates."

After he balanced all the containers, yes he was that fucking awesome, thanks, he turned to see her staring at a piece of paper. "What's that?" He asked setting the containers on the table.

"You tell me, it fell out of your text book."

He took the paper from her, "Oh, yeah. Mom saw this the other day down at the community theater and thought of you. I wanted to give it to you before, but you kinda blew my mind." Chuckling he continued, "Blew; had to."

She could only shake her head in response, "You've been watching How I Met Your Mother again haven't you?"

"So?"

"You really are an idiot."

"But you like me."

She grinned up at him, "Yeah. They're really auditioning for Wicked?"

"Yeah and since I know how much you like that show I told mom I'd give you the flyer."

"I've always wanted to be Elphaba."

"I know, which if I haven't told you, wanting to be the Wicked Witch is totally badass."

"High praise coming from you."

He grinned, "You know it." He opened several containers, dumped food onto his plate, "So what was Santana doing here before?"

"You eat an absurd amount of food, you know that right?"

"Are you kidding, I wanted to make sure I left some for you."

"Gross. You're going to weigh five hundred pounds when you're forty."

"Well obviously I'm not gonna be able to eat like this when I'm forty. That's why I have to get it in now."

She opened her mouth, but honestly think of a reason to disagree. "Santana needs help in bio too."

"So she came to you?"

"I think we're friends now."

"You think?"

"It's all very confusing. But I'm going to tutor her on Mondays after Cheerios practice. She's going to drive me to my voice lesson tomorrow."

"You need me to pick you up after?"

"That would be lovely, thanks."

"Sure."

"And since my dads will be out of town all week, she's decided that I'm having a party."

Puck stopped eating, "A party?"

"I can't have a party?"

"It's not that, I just didn't think you'd be into having a bunch of half tanked asswipes in your house."

"Well, it's only going to be people from glee. Except I'm not inviting Finn, Kurt, or Mercedes."

He chuckled, leaned across the table to kiss her softly, "Good for you."