A/N: Thanks for all the reviews so far! I figured I'd post a little earlier in the day for you guys!


Chapter 2

Artie had gotten the text Mercedes sent to the whole club, but he really had no idea what to expect when he rolled into history class. Since he had taken Sex Ed the year before, along with Santana, Quinn, Mike and Tina, Artie didn't have a baby to take care of, though Brittany had shown him hers the night before. He recognized the bundle in Puck's arms as he held the bottle up to the baby's mouth, but Artie really did not expect to see Kurt sitting on the desk right behind Puck, stroking the jock's hair and smiling down at him as serene as the Virgin Mary at church.

"What the..." Finn breathed as he came into the room behind Artie. "Man, what's going on?"

"Didn't you catch Mercedes' text?" Artie asked as he rolled to his desk. "They've been acting like a couple all day. I thought maybe you might know what's up."

"No!" Finn cried, shaking his head and sitting in his usual seat next to Artie and staring at his brother and his ex-best friend. Artie figured if anyone should know what was going on, it would be Finn, but he seemed as clueless as the rest of them. "At dinner last night, they didn't even talk to each other."

When the thought occurred to Artie, he asked Finn, "Do you think it's some kind of practical joke? Like, they're doing this just to freak everyone out?"

Both boys watched as Puck tilted his head all the way back, grinning up at Kurt before Finn's brother kissed him on the lips for longer than necessary and then hopped off the desk to sit in his seat. "Why," Finn asked uncomfortably, "would they kiss like that even for a joke? I think I'm freaking out a little, dude."

"Chill, homeslice," Artie sighed. "I'm sure we'll find out pretty soon what they're up to."

"There's no way it's real, right?" Finn groaned.

"Nah," Artie replied, though he wasn't so sure about that. Kurt had planted one hell of a kiss on Puck.

Tina tried to ask Kurt about Mercedes' text in math class, but he just waved her off, saying, "Oh, you know. It's just one of those things."

"What things?" Tina demanded, but Kurt just gave her a tight-lipped smile and bent down over his work.

It wasn't until lunch that she saw the entire situation. Usually Puck sat with the jocks, though a few times lately, he'd stopped by to talk to Rachel for a minute or two. Today, he practically was sitting in Kurt's lap their chairs were pressed so close together.

"Seriously, guys!" Tina cried, looking back and forth at her two friends as they fed each other bites of their shared lunch. "What the crap is going on?"

"We don't have to explain ourselves," Puck insisted, frowning at her until he turned back to Kurt, that lovesick smile back on his face. Ugh. Was this what she and Mike looked like together? She hoped not.

"If this didn't happen so suddenly, maybe," Tina argued, Mercedes and Mike both backing her up.

Rachel sat down then, across the table from Puck and said, "Are you sure you two aren't taking this project a little too seriously? You're not an actual couple."

"Who says?" Kurt shot back, jumping a little when his doll started crying. "You wanna get this, muffin, or should I?"

"It's all you, hot stuff," Puck replied, giving Kurt a flirty wink. Kurt gasped a little with a smile in response, beaming as he attended to his assignment.

The only part about this whole thing that made Tina feel any better about being so confused was the fact that no one else seemed to have any idea what was going on either. She turned to Mike, who was sitting beside her as usual, and said, "I think they've been sniffing glue or something."

"Or something," Mike agreed with a nod. Tina loved it when Mike agreed with her.

Santana saw the train-wreck as she was leaving the lunchroom with Brittany and Artie. Puck and Kurt were touching, and not in an, "I'm gonna humiliate you, dweeb," sort of way. Kurt had one hand on Puck's upper thigh and Puck had his arm around Kurt's shoulders. And (oh, ew) Puck was trailing his fingers up and down Kurt's shoulder, like it was something he did every day.

"Hey, Puckerman," Santana sneered, breaking into the awkward, stilted conversation among the gleeks as she pressed both hands against the table and leaned forward. "Kurt. I see reports of you two being all cozy weren't exaggerated. You do realize this makes you total losers, right?"

"According to you, maybe," Kurt replied, one eyebrow raised in apparent disgust at her presence. "But I'm willing to bet Noah and I are getting more play than you at the moment. When was the last time you had a man?"

"Oh, snap!" Puck murmured with a chuckle, eyes only for the boy at his side, which made Santana want to scream in frustration. Puck was a man's man! Puck was her man. Wait…

Anyway, he was supposed to have eyes only for her, and maybe Brittany or Quinn or something. Instead, he wanted everyone else, including the homo? And that's when she saw the rings. "Thought this sort of thing was illegal," she smirked, shifting her weight to one arm and tapping the ring on Puck's finger with the opposite hand. "Banned by the constitution of our great state or something."

"It's not illegal to wear a ring," Kurt replied and Santana got the feeling that she was about five seconds away from getting a pudding cup to the face, but then Mercedes spoke up.

"So you didn't actually get married?" The diva sighed in relief or something, but Santana sighed in disappointment. Things were much less hilarious this way. "Thank god! I don't know what-"

"Seriously," Mike chimed in, "you guys barely even know each other. Why would you-?"

Cutting off Mike's last words, Rachel asked, "Is it a joke?" like she might be devastated by a response either way. That chick seriously needed to lighten up.

"C'mon, babe," Puck said as he stood, taking the doll out of Kurt's arms before giving him a hand up. "We can get our committed mack on while these guys pull their heads out of their asses."

"Mmm," Kurt agreed, slinging his bag over his shoulder before grabbing Puck's hand as the two of them left, hand-in-hand.

"Yikes," Santana smirked at the other occupants of the table. "Looks like someone can't take a joke."

"Shut it, Satan," Mercedes sassed back, but without any fire to her voice. Well, that was no fun!

"Watch," Santana said, "their little prank falls apart before the end of the week. I'd bet my weave on it."

All three girls scoffed at her, while Mike asked, "What's a weave?" so Santana considered her job complete. Now, to see if she could get any good video of Puck and Kurt making out. Hey, if they were actually making out, it was probably hot, alright?

Cursing himself for getting mustard on his tie the one day of the week that Emma was out of town at a conference and wouldn't be able to help him, Will made a break for it toward his office. He thought he might have some wet wipes or maybe another tie, but there was nothing. What about his desk next to the choir room? That should have something, especially since he shared it with the orchestra teacher, Mrs. Hoffman. She always kept several of everything in that desk. Paperclips, pens, rulers, condoms (ugh!). You name it, it was probably in one of those drawers.

Will let himself into the office from the hallway and had been rooting around in the desk for a minute or two before he noticed two students in the choir room on the other side of the glass. They were sitting under the windows on the top riser, backs against the wall and heads leaning close together, smiles on their faces. Was that…? Was that Puck and Kurt?

Everything in this wing of the school was quiet, so now that he was listening, Will could hear the two boys laughing and speaking to each other softly. Kurt said with a chuckle, "They have no clue, baby. Did you see how Mercedes flipped out when she saw our rings? Today has been so much fun, Noah. Thank you for doing this."

"No problem," Puck smirked, kissing Kurt's neck, and suddenly Will felt very uneasy eavesdropping on such a private moment. He'd never known the two boys were together, but Will thought maybe it made sense, as much as any of the other teenage relationships he'd seen during his teaching career. "You deserve to have a little fun after what we made you put up with, Kurt. At least it's not as traumatizing as I was expecting."

"For you, maybe," Kurt laughed, taking Puck's hand like it was something he did every day. "I'm pretty sure Lauren Zizes had a coronary when she saw us kissing in the hallway earlier."

"I don't think she's traumatized," Puck replied, kissing the back of Kurt's hand before wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, making Kurt giggle again.

Will took that, and the fact that he'd just found a spare tie, as his cue to leave. He didn't really feel like being the stick-in-the-mud to give his two students trouble just for hanging out in the choir room – their safe room – during lunch. Now, if he caught them skipping class, that was a different story.

Lauren Zizes had known there was something going on between Puck and that Kurt kid, but she didn't really think it was romantic. She'd seen them sneak off together once or twice and thought maybe Puck was paying Kurt to do his homework or Kurt was paying Puck to protect him or give him blowjobs or something. Never had she suspected something this sappy. Ugh. It was a good thing she dropped Puckerman when she had the chance. That guy liked to think he was a badass, but he really was not a good kisser. What a shame. And poor Kurt! He deserved something more than those too-much-tongue kisses Puck was planting on him in the hallway that morning.

Ugh. Sex Ed, or "health class" as the administration liked to call it. Pointless, since Lauren had learned everything she cared to about sex from Wikipedia and other internet sources. She guessed it was useful for those students too dumb to poke around a little for the information they needed. Seriously, most of these kids were too stupid to spell their own names properly.

Like her project partner.

"Hey, Hudson," Lauren sneered as she sat down next to the quarterback. "How'd the little rug-rat do last night?" The boy was staring at Kurt and Puck, who were sitting in front of him, heads bent together and hands held together. Ugh. PDA. That was something Lauren could definitely do without. It wasn't quite as bad as when Finn and Rachel were still together with all hand-holding and face kissing, but it was bad enough. Vomit.

Annoyed that Finn couldn't even bother to pay attention to her, Lauren snapped her fingers in front of Finn's face, so he jumped and turned toward her. "Oh, hey, Lauren. I didn't see you there."

"Too busy perving on your step-brother and his boyfriend?" Lauren smirked, setting down her things and taking her seat.

"No!" Finn cried. "I'm just confused, is all. They're going around saying they're married, but I've never even seen them together outside of glee club!"

Lauren curled her lip in disgust. "Aren't they a little young to get married?"

"That's what I said when I found out!" the quarterback replied. "Plus, you know, they didn't even like each other before today. Does anyone else feel like their brain is gonna explode?"

Facing the front of the room as Miss Holliday entered, Lauren replied, "Nope, just you, sweetie," laughing to herself at how out-of-sorts Finn seemed to be.

"Good afternoon, class!" Miss Holliday cried, getting everyone's attention. "How was your first night as parents?"

"It sucked," Mercedes scoffed, and Lauren smiled at her. That chick was alright.

Of course, up at the front of the room, Rachel raised her hand so expressively she was almost jumping out of her chair to get noticed. "No, Rachel, you can't switch partners."

"That's not what I was going to ask," the hobbit insisted, giving David Karofsky beside her an apologetic look. "I was going to bring this," she pointed to Kurt and Puck's clasped hands on the table behind her, "to your attention. Some of us appear to be taking this assignment entirely too seriously."

"What are you talking about?" Miss Holliday shrugged, and Lauren didn't miss the wink she directed at Kurt. "I see nothing wrong here."

"But…but…!" Rachel complained. "They're going around saying they're married!"

"Then they're going to get an A," Miss Holliday replied, smiling full force at the couple. "Provided they can keep the baby alive. Everyone knows children in two-parent households grow up happier and healthier than those from broken homes."

"That's exactly what the fairy said this mornin'!" Azimio cried from the back of the room. "He got to Miss Holliday with his gay voodoo, too, you guys! Don't think this isn't gonna end in a swirlie, Hummel!"

With a ferociousness Lauren didn't know he had, Puck whipped around in his seat and growled at Azimio, "Touch one perfect hair on my love-bunny's head and I will end you, man. And we're not talking your average, run-of-the-mill ass kicking. No, I'll do that, burn down your house, and sell your dog to the Chinese restaurant downtown for Kung Pao!"

Azimio blanched, Rachel cried, "Puppy, no!" Miss Holliday assured, "Azimio will behave himself, won't you?" and Kurt grabbed Puck's arm, pulling him back into his seat and whispering at him harshly. Puck didn't seem cowed in the least. Lauren missed this Puckerman. Why couldn't he have made an appearance when she was dating him? It didn't seem fair.

"Wait," Finn said softly beside her. "Lauren? Does this mean we have to get married to get an A? Because I don't think my mom's gonna like that. She hasn't even met you…"

"No, stupid," Lauren replied, smacking the boy on the back of the head. "We'll be fine, as long as you don't run the doll over with your car or something. Besides, I wouldn't even fake-marry you. You're not my type."

"Oh," Finn replied, nodding though he still looked hella confused. "Yeah, okay. Cool."

Sam didn't see the newest glee couple until the rehearsal after school. Nationals were coming up soon and everyone was nervous, so Schue said he planned on them rehearsing a fun, back-up song today. They wouldn't use it unless another team performed one of their top-choice songs, but after a disaster at last year's Sectional competition, Sam figured everyone in the group was twice shy.

But when he got to the choir room, Puck was sitting on Kurt's lap, arms around the smaller boy's neck, and if that wasn't ridiculous enough, everyone else was just staring at them, silently.

"If it isn't the butt-buddies," Santana sneered when she came through the door behind Sam. "How freaking cute."

"Hey," Sam spoke up, putting one hand on Santana's shoulder, "don't say things like that, Santana. I'm just as surprised as everyone else, but seriously? You're prettier when you're smiling and not insulting everyone."

Santana opened her mouth like she was going to sass back, but then his words must have sunk in, because she gave him a grateful, almost shy smile. "Thanks, Bieber. I'll keep that in mind."

Sam nodded and took a chair in front of the new couple, turning around in his seat to ask, "No, really, guys. Not that I'm not happy for you, but when did this happen?"

"Last night," Kurt sighed happily, squeezing Puck's chest tighter. "Having a baby together really changed how we saw each other." Then, Kurt took a sharp breath and met Puck's eyes, saying, "Snuggie, how about Sam as the godfather?"

"I thought we were gonna ask Finn," Puck replied, trailing his thumb down the side of Kurt's face.

The other boy chuckled, leaned into Puck's hand, and confessed, "I love Finn like a brother -"

"I am your brother!"

"-but he should never be trusted with such a precious charge. Didn't I tell you I had to feed Finn's baby twice last night, since he was too dead asleep to hear him crying. He didn't even name his baby!"

"Hey, Sam," Puck said, turning to him. "Do you know anything about being a Jew?"

"Umm," Sam replied, looking around the room. Was he supposed to know something about being a Jew? "Not much…"

"See, bug? Finn's been to Temple with me a bunch of times. He has to be the godfather," Puck argued, hugging Kurt close and kissing his cheek that might help his case.

"Well then, cuddle monkey," Kurt sighed, "we need to pick a competent godmother. Or, I know! Rachel can be the godmother! She knows all about being a Jew. Then we won't have to leave Molly in Finn's care and Sam can be the godfather."

"It's a freaking doll!" Rachel cried at the top of her (impressive) lungs, jumping to her feet and stomping out of the room, passing Mr. Schue as he arrived. Sam wanted to shake his head at Rachel's tantrum, but he kind of agreed with her. Not that he wasn't flattered. He was more trustworthy than Finn. Even Quinn saw that. It was one of the reasons she was with him. Wasn't it?

This is going to be from everyone's POV, with Quinn, Blaine, Burt, Sue, and Mike up next, so I hope you'll check that out tomorrow. Reviews are always loved! Thanks!