Epilogue Part II
"I'm so tired but I can't sleep, standin' on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
Though we are screaming inside oh we can't be heard
I will remember you, will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by, weep not for the memories
I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to lose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
But once there was a darkness, deep and endless night,
you gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light"
I Will Remember You by Sarah McLachlan
My Dearest Alistair,
As I look back over the past twenty-seven years of my life there has been one person that has been a constant source of irritation, frustration, joy, happiness and love – that is you my dear friend. I just knew we were going to be great friends when you told Duncan, 'if the king ever asks me to put on a dress and dance the Remigold, I'm drawing the line; darkspawn or no.'
I can't express to you what having you by my side during our travels meant to me. You saved me, Alistair. You pulled me out of the deep trenches of grief and gave me a reason to live again. I would have never made it through those eighteen months without you. I know that we have had our differences, but we have managed to work through them and I believe we have come out even stronger. You were my first love, Alistair. You will always hold a special place in my heart and please know, that I will always love you.
I also wanted to take the time to tell you how proud I am of you. I know that being King was not your first choice, but once you accepted the role, you embraced it wholeheartedly and both you and Anora have done a wonderful job of rebuilding Ferelden. Our country flourishes because of you and the policies that you have implemented. As an Arlessa it has been a pleasure to work with you in the renewal and rejuvenation of our wonderful nation. I have been honored to serve with you as both a Grey Warden to end the Blight and as a noble in the restoration of Ferelden.
Now the real reason you are receiving this mushy letter is because I need to say good-bye to you my friend. Eight months ago, the dreams returned and now with each passing day I can feel the taint growing stronger and calling me to the Deep Roads. I leave tomorrow for Highever to say farewell to Fergus and his family and then I head to Orzammar. I wanted you to know that Weisshaupt has approved Conner as the next Warden Commander so you will need to announce him as the new Arl of Amaranthine. I would love to see the Knight Commander's face when he hears a mage is going to be an Arl…take that you bastard!
Goodbye my friend. I will miss you terribly.
Love,
Bree
Alistair wiped the tears from his cheeks. Her letter had made him laugh, had moved him to tears and he once again ached to hold her and comfort her. Alistair looked at the date on the letter. She had sent it three days ago. Damn it! She could have sent it by bird messenger and he would have received it in hours. However, he had a feeling that is exactly why she hadn't done that. Damn her and her nobility and honor. He quickly grabbed a piece of parchment.
Dear Fergus,
It is my understanding that Sabrina is heading for Highever before she heads to Orzammar. Whatever you do, don't let her leave Highever until I arrive.
Thank you,
Alistair.
Alistair sealed it with the royal seal and then opened the door to the guard standing outside. He handed the sealed letter to the guard. "This needs to be sent the moment the sun cracks the horizon and please send word the moment the Queen wakes up. I need her to come and see me in my study."
The guard bowed, "Yes your Majesty."
Alistair sat down at his desk to take care of the last things he would ever do as King. Several hours later, Anora made her way into his study. He had told Anora about the Calling years before. As Queen and raising two children, he'd felt she had the right to know what would eventually happen to him. When he had promised Tristen that Bree would not enter the Deep Roads alone he had confided in Anora once more. At first she was angry that he would make such a promise, but as he explained the grotesque abominations that the broodmothers were, she agreed that no woman should suffer that fate.
Now as she sat there waiting for him to explain such an early morning summons, he was at a loss for words. He had shared the past twenty-five years with this woman. She had been a friend, a lover, a confidant and a partner. He had come to love her, not in the way that he loved Bree, but he did love her and now he had to say goodbye.
"Anora, it's time for me to fulfill my promise to Tristen," Alistair said calmly.
For a moment Anora was completely speechless, but then she found the strength that she was so well known for and composed herself. "When do you have to leave?"
"Today," he replied solemnly.
"What? How can it be so soon?"
"Bree has been having the dreams for eight months now. I believe that she purposely didn't tell me and…"
"Well, then that is her own damn fault. You're the King, she can't expect you to drop everything in a moment's notice and follow her into the Deep Roads!" Anora exclaimed as the tears began to fill her eyes.
"I don't believe that she ever expected me to follow her into the Deep Roads. As a matter of fact I believe she notified me at the last possible moment so that I wouldn't," Alistair replied gently.
"Well, then you should honor her wishes," Anora retorted.
Alistair went to her and bent down before her; he knew her reaction was from fear and grief. "Anora, I know this is a shock, and that it is painful, but I can't let her go alone and not just because I gave Tristen my word that I would accompany her. For my own peace of mind, I need to know that she met an honorable end. I couldn't live with myself not knowing that. Bree and I have been through too much together, Anora. I wasn't there for her the last time when she needed me most. I turned my back on her then, but I can't and I won't do that now. I'm sorry, Love, but this is something I have to do, and if not now, I would have to go myself soon anyway. I'm surprised and a little relieved actually, that her Calling came before my own." Alistair replied.
She threw herself into his arms and cried. He held her for a very long time. He finally pulled away and looked into her eyes, "We don't have much time. We need to set into motion the plan that we came up with when we knew we would have to create a story for my own Calling. "
Anora nodded and he continued, "Once everything is in place I want to say goodbye to the kids. They deserve the truth and it will take time to explain it."
Again Anora nodded as she reined in her emotions as she coolly and efficiently went to work.
It was mid-day by the time Alistair exited the city gates on horseback with the hood of his traveling cloak pulled up. He traveled with only one guard on the insistence of Anora. She had made some smart ass remark about what a shame it would be if he was killed by bandits before he made it to Highever, so he conceded and selected his most trusted and loyal guard to accompany him.
They rode in silence as he thought about the emotional goodbye between him, Duncan and Grace. Duncan was the oldest and once the news of Alistair's untimely death was announced, Duncan would ascend to the throne. Duncan had their mother's flair for politics, but he had Alistair's good nature and Alistair knew his son would be a fair and just ruler. But Maker forbid if anything should ever happen to him before he had an heir, then Gracie would inherit the throne. Because they both could end up ruling Ferelden, he felt they deserved to know the truth behind his death. He also wanted them to have a better understanding of the Wardens and the sacrifices they made.
Like Anora, they too were angry at first. They were angry at Sabrina, angry at their uncle for asking their father to make, in their opinion, such a stupid promise, and they were angry at Alistair for keeping his word. When they realized that their anger wasn't going to change the current circumstances they began to cry. Alistair held them tightly and cried with them, mourning the things he would never get to see them do, and so very sorry for the pain he was causing them. If not now then in a few months or a year, he would still have to leave them too soon, and he couldn't imagine or want to have to do it alone. The hardest thing he had ever done was to release them from his embrace for the last time and head out the door. He knew in his heart they would be alright in the end, having their mother's strength in abundance. The three of them would be there for each other. Knowing that, however, didn't make it any easier. His final farewell to Anora, after his children, almost broke him and he was genuinely grateful that he'd had her with him through the years they had ruled, side by side.
They were several hours outside of Denerim when they found a small inn in the foothills of Dragon's Peak to spend the night. They rose early the next morning and started out before the sun was even up. Their days were long and hard, but Alistair felt the need to get to Highever as quickly as possible. By mid-day on the fourth day, the rode into the courtyard and the stable boy came out to greet them.
"My Lord, I was not told to expect company," the boy said as he took the reins from Alistair.
Alistair removed his hood, the boys face went from shock to being flustered as he bowed, "Your Majesty. This is an unexpected surprise."
"Please stand up dear boy. I don't want to draw needless attention to my presence. Is Teyrn Cousland in?"
"Yes, your Majesty," the boy said as he waved over a page to escort him into the castle. The page showed him to Fergus' study and knocked. When Fergus called from within to enter, Alistair excused the boy and walked in.
For a moment Fergus was completely taken aback, but then he quickly regained his composure, he stood up, approached Alistair and bowed, "Your Majesty, you made better time than I was expecting."
"Well, I realized that time was of the essence so I got here as quickly as I could. Please, tell me that she hasn't left for Orzammar yet?" Alistair asked with a little ounce of hope in his voice.
"No, you're in time to say goodbye to her. She doesn't leave until tomorrow," Fergus replied.
Alistair smiled sadly at him, "I'm not here to say goodbye Fergus, I'm here to accompany her on this final journey."
"What? You do realize it's a one way trip?" Fergus asked, stunned.
Alistair chuckled, "Yes, I have been a Warden for twenty-seven years. I am well aware that neither one of us will be coming back from this expedition."
"Have you received your calling too?"
"Not yet," Alistair replied dryly.
Fergus looked at him in astonishment. "Then why?"
"Because I refuse to allow her to do this by herself; now if you could tell me where to find her," Alistair replied.
"She is out on the Bluff where Duncan's statue is," Fergus said still flabbergasted.
"Great, I would like to get cleaned up first before I head there. Would it be possible to get a water basin first and then could I trouble your quartermaster for a fresh horse?"
"Of course, Alistair, I will have a servant show you to your room and have a basin sent up immediately. I will also have a mount ready for you by the time you are done," Fergus replied.
Thirty minutes later Alistair was back in the stables retrieving a fresh horse. He quickly headed for the Bluffs and was grateful that he only got lost once before he found the right path that led to the cliffs. He saw her standing in the distance as she stared out to sea and he felt his heart begin to race as he made his way towards her.
Just like in his dream with Tristen she felt his presence and spun around. She smiled warmly as she said, "Hello Alistair."
He looked at her and even though she looked tired and was much too thin, her beauty still took his breath away. "Hello Bree."
"What are you doing here?" She asked.
"I've come to take this final walk with you," Alistair responded.
She looked at him stunned at first and then she began to shake her head, "NO, Alistair! You're the King, you're a husband and a father. Your place is here with them, not dying in the Deep Roads with me."
"I'm going to die in the Deep Roads eventually. It might as well be with you," he said with a sheepish grin.
"Alistair, you could have years before your calling. You are denying your children those years, not to mention your duty to your country," Sabrina retorted her voice beginning to rise with agitation.
"Or I could start having dreams tomorrow. Bree, however we want to look at it, not long from now I too will need to head into the Deep Roads. We started on this road together, and I can't think of any better way to reach its end, than with you."
"Alistair, I know about the promise that Tristen asked you to make and he was wrong. He had no right to ask you to make such an oath. That is why I waited till the last possible moment to let you know, because I didn't want you to feel obligated to fulfill a vow that should never have been made in the first place."
Alistair stepped up to her and cupped her face in his hands. "I'm not only here because of the promise I made to Tristen. I'm also here because of a promise I made to you, the first time we traveled the Deep Roads. Do you remember what that promise was?"
Tears slid down her cheeks as she nodded. Alistair wiped them away with his thumb. "Bree, I told you that I would give my life before I ever allowed the darkspawn to take you alive, and I meant it. I gave Tristen my word because I knew that I was already planning on being with you, if you had to make this journey before me. So yes I'm here partially to keep my vow to my brother, but I'm really here to honor my promise to you, my dear."
"Thank you, Alistair," she cried and Alistair kissed her forehead as he pulled her into a tight embrace.
Alistair held onto her for a very long time and when he finally released her, he looked into her eyes and smiled. "It's taken me a long time, Bree, to understand the meaning of unconditional love, but the lesson has finally sunk in to my thick skull. There isn't anything I would rather do, then take this final journey with you."
At first she didn't say anything, but then she drew in a deep, ragged breath, "I can't believe that you remembered that promise and after everything that we have been through you're still willing to keep it."
"We've put the past behind us and we have moved on to a deep friendship. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you, Bree, you have to know that by now," Alistair replied softly.
Sabrina just nodded, but remained in his embrace for a long while before they pulled away from each other. Alistair took her hand and led her over to Duncan's statue. They were silent for a time as they reflected on the man that had influenced both of their lives and had brought them together all those years ago.
"He would have been so proud of you Alistair," Sabrina said.
"Somehow I doubt that. I have a feeling I would have been a grave disappointment to him," Alistair replied sadly.
"No, you wouldn't. Everyone makes mistakes, Alistair. If you hadn't learned from yours and had continued to go down the same path then I would agree with that statement. But you did learn from your lapses in judgment and became a better person, a better King and better man because of it. No, Alistair, Duncan would be very proud of you."
Alistair slid his arm around her shoulders as he led her toward their horses. She had a wonderful way of making him feel good about himself, even when he didn't think he deserved it, "Thank you, Bree."
He helped her into her saddle, climbed into his and they made their way back to the castle.
Zevran greeted them as they rode into the courtyard. Sabrina heard Alistair groan when he saw the assassin.
"Be nice," she whispered.
"I will if he will," Alistair retorted.
"Aaah, if it isn't my favorite bastard," Zev chortled as he took the reins from Sabrina and helped her down.
"And all this time I thought you were your favorite bastard," Alistair replied.
Zev laughed, "Well, now that you have pointed that out, you have definitely moved into the second spot."
"Fight nice, boys, I'm in no mood to play referee between the two of you," Sabrina said, exasperated as she headed into the castle to get ready for her last dinner with her family.
Sabrina refused to allow her impending departure to set a gloomy tone for this evening. She wanted her last memories of her family and their memories of her to be happy ones. She looked in her closet at several of the dresses that she had left here. She selected a scarlet red velvet gown that had a tight low cut bodice and was decorated in gold beads and gold embroidery. The velvet sleeves were tight on her upper arms, but at the elbow the material was a sheer gold, long and wide. She applied make-up to cover up the circles under eyes and added some cheek and lip rouge to add color to her now opaque complexion. She added some minx oil to her dull tresses to give her hair some sheen. She looked in the mirror and was pleased. Not bad for a forty-five year old woman who was slowly being corrupted by her own blood.
Everyone was already gathered in the formal dining room when she entered and all heads turned to stare at her entrance. She had to suppress a smile of amusement. It pleased her to know that she could still turn a few heads.
It was Sabie, her niece, that rushed forward and hugged her, "Aunt Brin, you look beautiful."
Sabrina laughed as she returned her niece's hug. Except for Tristen, her niece and nephews were the only ones to call her Brin and it pleased her to no end because it was a way to keep a part of him alive.
"You look like a princess," Sabie exclaimed.
"Yeah, a butt kicking princess," Sawyer said with admiration.
"Sawyer," Anna cried out in shock, but the rest of the room just laughed.
Zev glided over to her, he took her hand, and kissed it, "La mia dea mortale, you look exquisite tonight."
"Thank you, Zev," Sabrina replied evenly.
"Deadly Goddess, indeed," Fergus said with a grin. "I believe Zev's comment is an understatement."
Anna smiled at her sister-in-law, "You look wonderful tonight, Bree." She turned to everyone and said, "Now that we are all here, let's sit down for dinner."
They made their way to the table and Alistair held out a chair for her. As he pushed her chair in, he whispered in her ear, "Absolutely gorgeous, you took my breath away." She suppressed a grin as he took the seat beside her.
Dinner was a very relaxed, yet entertaining affair and she couldn't help but smile as she glanced around the table at the people she loved. She was going to miss each and every one of them for very different reasons, but as she watched each of them laugh and joke with each other, it warmed her heart to know that they had each other to lean on once she was gone.
Once dinner was over they moved into the library and before anyone could even get comfortable, Sabie suggested that they play Blindman's Bluff.
"Oh this could be interesting," Zev chortled.
Fergus shot him a warning look, "Remember Zev, there are children present."
Zev leaned over to Sabrina and whispered, "Once the kids go to bed maybe we play the adult version with clothing optional."
Sabrina laughed, "I love my brother, but there are things even I don't want to know about him."
Sabie volunteered to be the first one blindfolded. Everyone in the room scattered and hid, as her niece slowly started to make her way around the room with her hands out in front of her as she searched for them. She almost had Zev, but he blurred into the shadows and side-stepped her.
When he reappeared beside Sabrina, she glared at him and mouthed, "Cheater!"
Sabie was about to catch Stefan when he spun away from her, but stepped on Alistair's foot causing him to yelp. Sabie quickly turned and grabbed a hold of Alistair's sleeve. Alistair bent down so that he was level with her. Sabie began to move her hands over his face and hair.
"Hmmm, you have short hair and a very smooth face. You could be Sawyer…"
She ran her hands along Alistair's broad shoulders and the young girl giggled and turned red. "Well, with shoulders like that you definitely aren't Sawyer."
"Hey," Sawyer protested from across the room and everyone suppressed a laugh.
"That only leaves one person, it's King Alistair," Sabie said.
"Very good, Sabie," Alistair said as he helped her remove the blind fold. Sabrina saw the sad look in Alistair's eyes as he helped her niece. Gracie and Sabie were the same age, they were actually very good friends. She knew he was missing his daughter.
"It's your turn, your Majesty," she beamed at him.
"Of course, can you put the blindfold on me?" Alistair asked. Sabie nodded and tightly secured the blindfold.
Alistair stood up as everyone scattered around the room. He paused as if he was listening for something, he spun and headed directly for her. Sabrina gracefully and quietly moved to the opposite side of the room. Again Alistair paused, listened, and whirled in her direction. In three quick steps he was across the room, she agilely sidestepped him, but he felt the air rush by him and his hand quickly whipped out and grabbed her arm. He pulled her so that she was in front of him. His fingers gently traced the outline of her face, then his finger tips slowly charted a path along her jawline, down her neck to her collarbone. His touch had caused her breathing to accelerate and she could feel the tips of his fingers tremble on her skin.
He smiled, then he leaned in to smell her hair as he whispered, "I know the feel of your skin and the smell of your hair even blindfolded, Bree."
She took a deep breath to clear her head. "Bullshit, you cheated, Alistair. You used the taint to sense me."
Alistair took the blindfold off and grinned at her. "It was never stated in the rules that I couldn't use the taint to sense you."
"He has you there," Fergus said jovially.
"You can sense each other through the taint?" Stefan asked.
"Yes," Sabrina grumbled.
"That's so cool," her nephew exclaimed.
They played a few more rounds of Blindman's Bluff before Anna insisted it was time for the kids to head to bed. Tonight before they could leave, Sabrina hugged each of them and told them how much she loved them. She managed to remain in control of her emotions as she said her goodbyes, but once they left the room she excused herself and ran out into the courtyard.
She cursed herself out loud for being so weak as the tears flowed down her cheeks. She felt two strong hands rest on her shoulders. "It's not weak to be sad because you will miss the ones you love," Alistair said warmly. "I know that you loved Fergus' children as if they were your own, so I know what you're going through right now. The hardest thing I've ever had to do was say goodbye to Duncan and Gracie."
He pulled her back against his chest and wrapped his arms around her trying to comfort her. "I'm so sorry, Bree. I wish as Wardens this was one sacrifice we didn't have to make."
She was unable to speak, but she nodded. He held her for a long time and it felt good to be in his embrace. He was strong and he made her feel safe when right now she felt so weak and vulnerable. The cool night air began to sink into her bones and she shivered.
"Come on, Bree. Let's get you inside," Alistair said as he led her back into castle and into the library.
Fergus looked up at her as she entered the room, "Are you okay, Beanie?"
She nodded and Zev handed her a glass of brandy. She took a big gulp, then another and then one more to drain the glass and then she handed it back to Zev, "More please."
Zev smiled and shook his head, "Careful Mia Tesoro Amica."
"Yes, I don't think Fergus would appreciate you dancing on his tables," Alistair chuckled.
Fergus grinned and looked at Sabrina and then at Alistair, "Beanie, was dancing on the tables? Oh do tell."
"What is it with the men in my life telling stories to embarrass me?" Sabrina asked exasperated.
All three of them laughed. "Bella mia, it's because we love you that we make such fun of you," Zev snickered.
"Well, you three have a very strange definition of love," Sabrina grumbled.
"Well, we are here to keep you humble and not let all that hero stuff go to your head. So on that happy note, Alistair continue with your tale," Fergus chortled.
"Where's the damn brandy?" Sabrina asked as got up to pour herself another one.
"Well, we had just returned from the Deep Roads. We were all exhausted, but we had some pent up anxiety that need to be released. So we headed to Tapsters for a few pints…well a few pints turned into our little party consuming half the ale in Orzammar and before anyone realized it Oghren was up on the tables doing his happy dance and it didn't take long before Zev had joined him as they sang a song about the The Broma Brothers…"
"The Broma Brothers?" Fergus asked.
"Yes, it had been a long running joke that Oghren and Zev were twin brothers separated at birth. They even used the persona when they broke into Fort Drakon to rescue Sabrina and I," Alistair replied.
Fergus lifted an eye brow. "Yes, the irony isn't lost on me," Alistair replied with a chuckle.
"So what was the song?" Fergus asked.
As if expecting to be asked to perform Zev stood up and cleared his throat like he was about to give the performance of his life:
"Broma Brothers are sweet, so much sweeter than we ought to be
Another round of drinks and we'll be at it again with glee.
We like our whiskey old, our women young, and if anyone asks, we're awesomely hung.
And as the girls start to seek us out they can see we are the ones they need.
Not only for our charming good looks but also our bountiful seed."
Fergus roared with laughter as both Sabrina and Alistair stood up to join Zev for the chorus that had become a nightly standard around the campfire during their travels.
"So grab yourself a bar wench, have a little fun,
Raise your whiskey or your ale for our song is almost done!
Lend us your ear and listen to what we've got to say,
Here's to the Antivan fellow, here's to Orzammar boy hurrah!
Here's to the proud Ferelden Grey, hurrah!
Take them all, the great and small, because we'll give them hell to pay,
We'll toast old Thedas, dear old Thedas, here's to the Thedas boys hurrah!"
Fergus laughed as he raised his glass and said, "Here's to the Thedas boys!"
And they all cried out in unison, "Hurrah!"
Fergus waved at Alistair and said, "Please continue."
Alistair grinned, "Well they sang the chorus for what felt like the hundredth time when Oghren passed out right in the middle of the chorus and fell head first off the table. Luckily for Oghren, his head is as hard as the stone that he was born under, but now lacking a singing and dancing partner Zev grabbed Bree by the hand and pulled her up on the tables with him. She proceeded to do a dance that had every man and some women thinking some very dirty thoughts. I have a feeling that dance will become legendary; if I'm not mistaken the Shaperate even added it into the Memories. To this day Oghren curses himself for missing what is now being referred to by the regulars at Tapsters as the 'Infamous Mating Tango of the Grey'."
"The Infamous Mating Tango of the Grey!" Fergus roared with laughter. "Oh that's too good, Zev I can't believe you have kept that from me all these years."
"That's because Zev understands what happens on the road stays on the road. Obviously a lesson Alistair has yet to master," Sabrina snapped as she took another gulp of brandy.
"Well, in Alistair's defense Zevran did tell the story about you throwing your tankard at the ogre for knocking your bottle over," Fergus said as he winked Alistair.
Alistair spun to look at Zev and grinned. "You told her brother about that? That was a funny night."
"You weren't laughing at the time, Alistair. If I recall you were very upset our lovely Warden," Zev replied.
"Well, you did almost get yourself killed that night, Bree, but I will never forget you barely able to stand, your small frame swayed back and forth as you tossed your tankard at the beast's head and you still managed to connect with it's forehead," Alistair said. He grinned at her when she took another gulp of brandy. The drinking and storytelling continued into the early hours of the morning.
Sabrina felt the scream tear from her throat as she jolted awake from the dream. She looked down at herself and saw that she was still wearing her dress from the night before. She must have fallen asleep at some point and someone carried her up to bed. She got up and went to the window, by the position of the moon it was still a few hours before sunrise.
She opened her door and asked the guard to have a servant bring up a tub for a bath. The guard nodded and she closed the door. She hated to rouse the servants at this hour and she would tip whoever brought the tub handsomely, but she wanted to be on the road before anyone was awake. She had said her goodbyes already and she didn't want to draw this out any further.
As she waited for her bath to arrive, she read the letter she was going to leave for Zev one last time.
My Dearest Friend,
There aren't words strong enough to express how much you mean to me. I am so thankful that you have stayed by my side for all of these years. I can't thank you enough for all the things that you have taught me, for the many things that you have done for me and for all the times you have saved my arse – literally and figuratively. You are my dearest friend, the one person I can turn to who is always ready to give me an ear to listen when I need to rant and rave, to give me a shoulder to cry on when I am down and out, and a hand to pick me up when I feel I can't go on.
I thank the Maker everyday that the Crow's sent you to assassinate me and in the same breath I also thank the Maker that you failed. You have brought me unimaginable joy, unspeakable laughter and undying love. Please know that even though I leave this world, I will always be with you and through your love and your memories I will carry on.
I love you Zev,
Il suo Tesoro Amica
Sabrina carefully folded and sealed it. Then she took out the letter to Fergus and read it too one more time.
My Dear Fergus,
Do you remember when we were kids and we would play king of the mountain on Mom and Dad's bed? Even though you were older, bigger and stronger than me you never once let me win so when the day finally came that I did manage to knock you off the bed on your arse I really did feel like the king of the mountain. You instilled in me at a young age the joy of accomplishment through hard work. How truly blessed I have been, Fergus to have you as my brother. I looked up to you and as I watched you grow into a young man I admired you as you accomplished one great challenge after another. I was so proud of you and I wanted everyone to know you were my big brother. Even now I am still filled with pride and joy at the man, husband and father that you are. Mom and Dad would be so proud of you.
It's funny that most people are constantly searching for inner peace and serenity, but they are so busy seeking and looking under every rock that they don't see what is right in front of them. What they fail to realize, but what was taught to us at a very young age is that true fulfillment and peace comes from the faces and smiles of those we love. We were raised to live each day to its fullest and to cherish and value everything. The sudden loss of our family just reinforced those values for us, but I want to remind you, Big Brother, to treasure every day, to focus on the good and not to dwell on the sorrow. You have been blessed with a wonderful family that loves you and is there to support you. Lean on them, take comfort in them and you will find peace again, I promise.
I love you Big Brother.
Bean
As she folded and sealed the letter the servants brought in the tub of hot water, Sabrina jumped up and reached for your coin purse.
"I am so sorry to wake you up so early, but we need to get an early start," Sabrina said.
"It's not a problem, my Lady," the servant said.
"Well, I thank you for your help," Sabrina said as she handed each of them ten sovereigns.
The servants looked at her aghast. "My Lady we cannot accept this. The Teyrn…"
"The Teyrn will understand when he hears it came from me. I insist," Sabrina said stubbornly.
"Thank you, my Lady, you are too kind," they said as they headed out of the room.
Sabrina soaked in the tub for a long time enjoying how relaxing it was. Once the water became chilly she slipped out and quickly got dressed. She finished packing her bags and headed out of her room. She slid the letters under Fergus and Zev's doors before she hurried to meet Alistair in the courtyard.
When she entered the courtyard, Alistair was already there with their horses saddled and ready to go. He smiled sincerely at her as he boosted her into the saddle and then quickly settled himself into his own.
"I figured you would want to be far from the castle before everyone began to move around so I asked Cook to pack us up some breakfast and I thought we could stop once the sun came up to eat," Alistair said.
"Thank you, Alistair. I appreciate it," Sabrina said.
They rode out of the courtyard, through the pasture that would lead to the North Road. Once they were on the hilltop that looked down on Highever Castle, Sabrina halted her horse and looked down on her home one last time. All of the memories came flooding back in a rush – She and Fergus hunting in the woods, climbing the trees in the grove, sparring in the ring, she and Nate discovering each other in the pasture behind the castle, Tristen telling her he loved her as she was pressed against a tree, Tristen, Alistair and the Ferelden Wardens dedicating Duncan's statue, the sound of children's laughter as Sawyer, Stefan and Sabie explored with zeal all the areas that that she and Fergus had once explored. Life had come full circle and life would continue on.
She smiled as she wiped the tears from her cheeks. Alistair grasped her hand and squeezed as he offered her his silent comfort as she said goodbye.
Author's Notes - Zevran's Broma Brothers song came from the creative mind of my wonderful beta, Jinx and the chorus was adapted from the song Ireland Boys.
Il suo Tesoro Amica roughly translated – your treasured friend.