Epilogue III
"How long have I been in this storm? So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
Water's getting harder to tread, with these waves crashing over my head
If I could just see you, everything would be all right
If I'd see you, this darkness would turn to light
And I will walk on water, and you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes, I know everything will be alright"
Storm by Lifehouse
As they rode down the North Road, Sabrina remained in a somber mood. Alistair tried to joke with her, but either half the time she was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear him or when she did she would only give him a polite smile. It was still hours before the sun was due to set, but when Alistair suggested they make camp she didn't argue. Why would she? Although she needed to go to the Deep Roads, who really wanted to expedite that trip.
She quietly set-up her tent and then gathered some wood for the fire. While Alistair cooked dinner she went down to the stream to clean up. By the time she returned dinner was ready and she ate in silence. Afterwards she said that she was going to head to bed early. Alistair nodded and watched her crawl into her tent.
He stayed up late into the night making sure the camp was safe, but when he could no longer stay awake he crawled into his tent and passed out. He couldn't have been asleep for long when he heard a blood curdling scream that made his skin crawl. He grabbed his sword and hurled himself out of his tent. The scream came again and he realized it was coming from Sabrina's tent. He ran over and threw open the flap; from the light of the fire he saw Sabrina thrashing around in her sleep and he knew she was having a calling nightmare. He set down his sword, crawled in, gently grasped her by the shoulders and shook her.
"Bree, Bree wake up," Alistair said.
Bree cried out again before she slowly opened her eyes and stared at him. He pulled her into his arms and gently stroked her hair. "It's okay, Bree. It was a nightmare, but it's over."
She cried softly against his chest and it broke his heart to see her so distressed. He remembered her first nightmare during their travels together and how tough she tried to be even though he knew the nightmare had scared her. Now that entire pretense was gone and she shook in his arms with fear. He knew it was because the nightmares were about to become a reality.
He coaxed her to lay back down, but she shook her head. "I-I don't want to be alone," she whispered.
"I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here," Alistair said and as she lay down on her side he curled up behind her and pulled her to his chest. She was still trembling as he held her until she fell asleep once more. He fell asleep with a sense of contentment and comfort he hadn't felt in years.
He woke up the following morning to the sounds of birds chirping, he reached out for her, but she wasn't there. He stuck his head out and saw Sabrina sitting near the fire.
She smiled at him and it was the first time that he had seen that radiant smile of hers since…since before Tristen died. "Nice of you to join me, sleepy head, I've made some breakfast."
Alistair took a whiff and his stomach growled as the smell of cooked ham and eggs ignited his senses. He crawled out and joined her. He looked at her for a long time before he spoke. "You seem very… refreshed this morning."
She smiled, "I am. Normally after a nightmare, I am unable to fall asleep again, but having you there made me feel safe for the first time in months and I was able to get a good night's sleep despite them. Thank you Alistair, for staying with me."
"Of course, there isn't any place I would rather be," Alistair said. They finished breakfast together, then packed up camp and headed out. Sabrina's heartbreaking mood had lifted and the resilient spirit that she was known for came shining through. They talked, laughed and joked as they steadily continued their pilgrimage towards Orzammar.
Late afternoon they found a clearing to set-up camp. As Sabrina started to unpack, Alistair noticed her hesitate as if she was debating something with herself.
Alistair had an idea what the internal struggle was, so he walked up to her and rested his hand on her arm. She looked up at him questioningly. "Do you have nightmares every night?" She nodded.
"And are they always as bad as last night's?" Again she nodded. "Well, I don't see the need to put up two tents then, do you?"
She looked into his eyes and her smile was grateful as she silently shook her head. "Well, since that is settled, why don't you gather wood for a fire while I put up our tent?" Again she just nodded; she was about to turn away when she spun back around and kissed his cheek then headed into the woods to look for wood. Alistair smiled as he watched her go.
That night at camp after dinner, Sabrina opened a bottle of Antivan wine that Fergus had given her. They sat around the fire drinking and reminiscing. After several glasses of wine Alistair ran his hands nervously through his hair before he spoke, "Bree, can I ask you something personal that has been bugging me for years?"
Sabrina eyed him suspiciously. "Of course you can, but I can't guarantee that I will answer," she said with a grin.
He laughed uneasily before he continued, "When you left Denerim with Tristen and you found out he wasn't me, why did you stay with him?"
"Well, he was actually sent to Denerim by the Wardens to accompany me back to the Keep so it didn't make sense to dismiss my escort," Sabrina replied calmly.
Alistair shook his head, "No, that isn't what I meant." He paused, looked at her and she nodded for him to continue. "Well you see, you made regular appearances in my dreams and as often as you have been in mine, you have just as often, if not more, been in Tristen's. Over the years we've gotten a lot better at controlling it, when we would realize that we were in the other's subconscious mind, but not so much at the beginning. The reason I explain all this is to say that I know from his dreams, that the two of you slept together while traveling to Highever, even after you knew it wasn't me." He paused again and looked earnestly into her eyes. "Bree, I really need to know why? Because back then, even as angry as I was with you, I couldn't bring myself to touch anyone but you; even with all the fury, you were all I wanted…" his voice trailed off as the pain from that long ago memory washed over him once again. He was no longer angry at her, he had come to terms with that years ago, but the pain from those days after the Landsmeet still ached on occasion. Knowing that she'd willingly slept with Tristen even after she knew he wasn't who she thought, made him feel as if she never really loved him if she could move on so quickly.
She looked at him with sadness in her eyes. "Alistair, when I left Denerim I too was in pain and also very angry at you, but as angry and hurt as I was, I still loved you and I missed you terribly. We had parted on such bad terms and I felt…broken. I felt unworthy, I-I felt belittled," Her voice hitched.
She took another sip of wine. She starred into the fire as she continued. "Once I found out he wasn't you I only slept with him once on that trip to Highever. My self-esteem had taken a huge blow during my stay in Denerim. Tristen made me feel valued, cherished and admired - something I hadn't felt in a long time, but there was also this familiarity about him and I'm not just talking about his looks. His mannerisms and movements were very similar to yours and being near him caused me to ache for you, because I still deeply missed the familiarity and the intimacy of being with you."
She paused to collect her thoughts, "So when he tried to seduce me, I gave in because I missed you and what we once had. It wasn't fair to him, but the first time that we slept together I used Tristen."
She gave a half lopsided smile before she continued, "Although I think he knew that and was still very willing to be used by me. That night he gave me a little piece of you back and in the process helped lessen some of my grief over losing you. I don't know if your dreams picked this up, but the next morning I told him that I couldn't sleep with him again, not until I knew for certain that my feelings for him were genuine and not just a projection of my feelings for you. I didn't sleep with him again for months."
"No, my dreams didn't pick that up. Thank you for telling me, Bree. It makes sense and if you had a twin I could see trying to lose myself in them to get over the pain of not having you," Alistair said.
Sabrina looked at him for a long moment, he could tell she was conflicted about something and she was debating about saying something. He had a feeling he knew what it was she wanted to say so he clarified, "Bree, I know that you truly loved Tristen for who he was and not as a substitute for me. I watched you with him when you thought no one was watching – what the two of you had together was special and unique."
He was glad to see her tension ease and she relaxed as she yawned, she drank the last of her wine and declared it was her bed time. Alistair said he would be in shortly, that he wanted to patrol the area one last time before he settled in. She nodded and crawled into the tent.
He grabbed his sword and shield as he set out to walk the around the area of the camp. He thought about her confession and he was shocked by how honest she had been - at this point though there was no reason to hold back. She had been very emotional as she answered his question and it made him feel better knowing that she too had thought what they had experienced together had been real, extraordinary, and rare.
He could understand her need to be intimate with someone who made her feel treasured and loved. Near the end, their relationship had become a blasphemous, vulgar representation of what they had once truly meant to each other and the pain that they had inflicted on each, mostly the pain that he had inflicted on her, had been detrimental to their relationship ever recovering. It had taken him a while to realize that and come to terms with the fact that they would never again have what they had shared during those unforgettable eighteen months. What had been even harder to accept was that it had been one rash decision on his part that had thrown it all away.
Alistair made his way back to camp, crawled into the tent and curled up behind her. Alistair didn't realize how cool the night air was until he felt the heat from her body radiate against him as he pressed up against her. Damn he had missed the feel of her body as it conformed to the contours of his own. He buried his face in her hair and he fell asleep breathing in her unique fragrance.
Alistair woke up the following morning with her still wrapped in his embrace. It felt wonderful to wake up beside her once again, to be wrapped in her scent as the fog of sleep cleared from his mind. He realized that he didn't remember her waking up from a nightmare last night. She stirred against him and he felt the morning rush to his groin. He quickly slid away from her. He enjoyed holding her and comforting her, but he knew that she had long ago gotten over those feelings she'd once had for him and the last thing he wanted to do was make her uncomfortable around him; not when they had so little time left together.
Alistair slid out of the tent, grabbed his gear and headed down to the pond to clean up and to take care of the growing monster between his thighs. By the time he made it back, Sabrina had made breakfast and had started to break camp. Within the hour, they were back on the road, however they only traveled about half the day before she was complaining of a terrible headache and asked to make camp early. Alistair complied. This was her journey, they would make it however fast or slow she wanted.
Once again they spent the night talking and reminiscing about their past travels and their crazy companions. They eventually crawled into the tent together and they fell asleep with her head resting on his chest and his fingers entwined in her long tresses.
Sabrina flailed against his side jolting him awake. She whimpered in her sleep as her head thrashed back and forth. He got to his knees and pulled her to him, but she screamed out, "NO, no you w-won't…you…t-take me."
Alistair softly shook her as he called her name trying to wake her up, but she lurched forward violently and crashed against his chest. She cried out again and this time he shook her harder and yelled her name. He felt her relax and then go limp in his arms. Still on his knees he pulled her quivering body tightly against his as she sobbed into his chest. He tenderly stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head.
"Don't cry, Bree. It's okay. It's going to be okay," Alistair said soothingly, but her tears still flowed. He could not bear the hopelessness of her weeping and he tried to continue to comfort her.
"I'm here, Bree. I'm here and I'm not going to leave you. I promise," Alistair whispered lovingly. His words seem to do the trick and she calmed down as she nestled against him. She slid her arms around his neck and clung to him. The delicate scent of jasmine rose from her warm skin and he could feel the heat of her breath on his neck. She melted further into him, her soft curves fitting themselves against him like a smooth satin drape. Her soft breasts pressed against him through the thin material of her night shirt and he could feel her peaked nipples against his bare chest.
Holding her, touching her, smelling her made his head begin to spin and his loins tighten with desire. As much as he wanted her, this couldn't happen. Would his insanity never end? He yanked his hands back and she gazed up at him through shuttered lashes, licking her red lips. By the Maker she was going to be his undoing. She lifted her hand and lovingly caressed his cheek. His heart swelled, the air rushed from his lungs and it left him lightheaded with yearning.
His fingers had somehow become entangled in her long hair as his fingertips gently stroked her temples; he had forgotten how soft her skin was. Her thumb was now at the edge of his mouth as it touched his lips. He closed his eyes as he tried to fight the hunger that he had buried for this woman years ago, but as her finger outlined the curve of his lips he couldn't resist and he sucked ever so lightly on the sweet flavor of her fingertip.
In the back of his mind a voice screamed that he needed to stop. He needed to get a hold of himself. This was his dead brother's wife, he was still a married man, he had spent years getting over her and this was an ill advised decision. So argued the sane part of his mind, but without adequate volume to drown out the wild, insane part of his brain that was shouting how much he had missed her, how much he needed her and to take her and make love to her for what may be the last time before both of them went to the meet the Maker.
She leaned further into him, she was so close he could feel the tantalizing sweetness of her breath on his skin. She cupped his face in her hands as she teased his lips with her silky smooth tongue. Alistair felt himself grow painfully harder, she felt it too and pushed her hips against him.
He groaned and he heard her snicker. She was driving him crazy and she was taking some deep sense of satisfaction in it. She continued to ever so gently caress his lips with her tongue, as she silently begged him to give her entry. Her scent inundated his senses; a scent that he had longed for years to be close to again, a scent that was now rapidly pushing him over the edge.
He pulled her to him, opened his mouth to her and devoured her like a man that had been stranded in the desert for days in desperate need of water. The taste of her was as intoxicating as he remembered and it only made him want her more. He was eager to remember her touch, to remember her taste, and the feel of her heat enveloping him and the mere thought of it made him tremble with anticipation. This was wrong, the moral part of his brain reminded him, while the evil part encouraged him to take what he had so long denied himself.
"Alistair, make love to me," she whispered.
"Oh Bree, I want to. You can feel I want to, but…"
She placed her finger on his lips to silence him. "Please Alistair, make love to me," she whispered again in a voice so sexy that it made him grow even harder if that was possible. Her request broke through all of his resistance.
Just before he reclaimed her lips with his he whispered, "Yes, Bree. Maker, there is nothing I want more."
This time when his lips captured hers, he was not gentle as the hunger for her roared to life and his kiss was that of a starved lover. Every caress, every moment made his need grow even more and his body was wrestling for control over his mind. It no longer mattered what was right, what was proper, all that mattered was that she was in his arms once again, he wanted her and Maker be praised she wanted him too.
He pulled back from her and looked into her beautiful face. She was flushed and she was breathing. Her lips were swollen and they trembled slightly. He pulled her nightshirt over her head then lowered her down to the bed roll and removed her panties. His breath caught as he took in what a vision she still was. There were a few new scars and a large one on her side where the Archdemon's tail had struck. An old spark of guilt flared up, but he pushed it ruthlessly down.
His own body shook with fear, pleasure and desire, but he wanted to take his time as he reintroduced himself to every nook and cranny of her tantalizing body, wanted to give her unbelievable pleasure. He ached to touch her, to taste her and as he knelt between her legs he leaned forward and lovingly caressed her stomach and breasts. He leaned down, rested his forehead on her stomach and deeply inhaled her scent. He heard a sigh escape her lips as he dragged his mouth across her stomach, tasting her with the tip of his tongue. His mouth moved even lower and his head finally slid between her legs. He shifted one hand underneath her to cup her bottom while the other stroked up her inner thigh. Alistair gently brushed the wetness of her hot center.
He looked up at her and smiled as she anxiously waited for his first touch to the core of her pleasure, to the tight bundle of taut nerves and when his fingers finally brushed her swollen folds, he heard her sigh. He gently stroked his fingers through her curls and she moaned as his fingers slowly and tormentingly slid in and out of her as his thumb teasingly caressed the nub that was now wet and swollen.
"Mmmm, you are so wet, Bree, you feel incredible," he whispered as he watched her tremble and writhe at his touch. He was reminded of all the nights they'd spent together during the Blight; of how they had shut out the rest of the world for a little while and just got lost in each other. He was glad he had a chance to relive those amazing memories one last time.
He heard her moan his name and she clenched her fingers in his hair as he lowered his head, sweeping his tongue through her folds to her moist center. Sabrina whimpered as he explored her with his tongue and he laved her with long, slow strokes before he dipped lower to taste the honey that now flowed out of her. Maker, she tasted even better than he remembered.
Unhurriedly, he lapped at the dewy center as her fingers tightened in his thick hair. He moved forward as his tongue swirled around the swollen nub before he softly sucked it into his mouth. She cried out his name again and his stomach flipped at the sound of his name falling from her lips. He thought he would never hear her say his name like that again and he revelled in the sound of it.
Alistair recalled exactly how to touch her, where to touch, how to lick, nibble, and suck delicately to provoke the intense reaction he was receiving from her now. He could hear her heart race, as her breath came in soft pants, every nerve taut as he pushed her closer to paradise. Alistair slid one, then two fingers inside her and Sabrina mewled softly as his mouth closed once more over the tiny pearl and began to suck and tease her to completion. He was ravenous for the taste of her, he had missed her so much and he just couldn't get enough of her. Her legs began to shake and Alistair felt her body begin to spasm around his fingers as the exquisite bliss washed over her.
He continued to lick softly at her dewy wetness, he drank her in as he savored her taste, he was intoxicated by her. Sabrina attempted to pull away, the sensation too intense.
"Let me, my love. You're so wet, so delicious….and I've missed the sweet taste of you," he whispered softly, as he refused to release his hold on her. Sabrina gave in to his desire and trusted him to prolong their pleasure. She quivered and moaned as he continued his skillful exploration of her flesh. Alistair tantalised her with expertise as he brought her to orgasm twice more before he finally released his hold on her.
The need to be in her, to feel her heat wrapped around him was now overpowering. He kissed his way back up her body, he grasped her shoulder with one hand, slid the other underneath her and rolled them over so that she was on top.
"I need to see you, to watch you," he moaned. She lifted her hips and with one swift movement, guided him into her. As her moist hot center enveloped him, millions of little shock-waves rippled throughout his entire body and every nerve ending in his body hummed. It was sheer ecstasy being inside her as he moved in time with her. He delighted in the sigh that escaped her lips as she settled on top of him and he filled her completely.
She began to ride him slowly as she rubbed herself back and forth against him. She was so beautiful, so tantalizingly delicious as her face shuttered with desire and hunger while she pressed against him, her breasts swaying and her dark curls cascading around her face. Maker, how he still loved this woman. After all these years, after all they had been through, it was still only her…it would always only be her.
Alistair reached up to caress her breasts and she leaned down so he could take her luscious nipple into his mouth; he sucked hard at it as she continued to ride him; she swirled and ground her hips into him in a slow erotic dance. Alistair gripped her hips, and moved her harder and faster as he drove himself deeper into her.
"Oh Maker, yes Alistair," she moaned as her muscles tightened. She shook with ecstasy as she came and she made such a sweet keening sound as the ripples of pleasure flooded through her and her inner walls contracted around his length. As much as he wanted to ride over that edge with her, he forced himself to hold off. He wasn't ready for this to end, he wasn't ready to not be inside her anymore.
He rolled her over onto her back and plunged deeper. She moaned as her hips rose up to meet him. He pulled back and then buried himself to the hilt as he sealed his lips over hers, his tongue delving into her mouth as he drank her in; he needed to savor her, consume her as his hunger for her burned right through him.
Alistair moved in long, slow thrusts and Sabrina wrapped her legs around his waist so that she could take him ever deeper, and his pace picked up. His one hand held her wrist above her head while the other was entangled in her hair. He moaned into her throat and ear, "Bree, my Bree," over and over again like a prayer as he worshiped her body with his. How long and for how many years had he fantasized about being with her one last time, holding her, kissing her, tasting her? Maker, he didn't want this night to end.
She arched her back while her hips pushed forward against him as she sought deeper penetration. Alistair moved to his knees, grasped her hips and surged downward, thrusting deeper into her with every stroke. Alistair knew he wouldn't last much longer so he moved his thumb to her throbbing nub. He stroked back and forth sending her over the edge once more; she threw her head back and cried out in pleasure as her body writhed. The sheer bliss cascaded over him as her muscles constricted around him, draining him.
"Ahhh, Bree I love you," he cried out as his body shuddered against hers.
It took Alistair several minutes to become fully aware of his environment and to realize that he had just told Bree that he loved her. Oh shit, how could he be so stupid?
The thing he didn't want to do was make her uncomfortable around him, but the truth of the matter was that he did love her. He had always loved her and he would until he died. When he got up the nerve he looked down at her and saw the shock on her face.
He slid from her and rested his hand on her stomach, gazed at her again and then bent his head. "Bree, I'm sorry that I just yelled that out like that, obviously it shocked you. I didn't mean to do that. It just slipped out, but it's the truth, I do love you. I have ever since I met you in Ostagar and I always will. I know you don't feel that way about me anymore and that's okay. What I don't want is that little declaration to make things uncomfortable between us."
Sabrina was quiet for a long moment and then asked, "How do you know I don't feel that way about you anymore?"
Alistair's head snapped up and he stared at her with a hopeful gleam in his eyes. "Alistair, you were my first love. You never really get over your first true love, you just learn to live without them. I have always loved you, I always will, but when our circumstances changed, I had to move on. I was lucky enough to fall in love again." She hesitated and smiled slightly. "I was fortunate enough to have two great loves in my life, but the Maker does have a sense of humor since those two great loves just happen to be twin brothers."
Alistair laughed as he leaned down and kissed her stomach before he rested his head on her. She still loved him. She had never stopped. If he was truthful with himself he knew that Tristen was the love of her life, but it warmed his heart to know that she still loved him.
Alistair kissed her stomach again and looked up at her, "Why? Why did you want this to happen now?"
She smiled at him again. "I didn't want to head into the Deep Roads without making love to you one last time. Not to mention I was incredibly horny."
Caught off guard Alistair nearly choked as he laughed out loud. "Well, you do have a sex drive to rival most men. One of the many things I loved about you."
"Well, that and the fact that I haven't had sex in five years. It does tend to make a girl feel rather randy," she sighed.
"You haven't had sex since…since Tristen left for the Deep Roads?" Alistair asked completely shocked.
"No. For the longest time…at least three years I had no desire to have another man touch me. When my libido began to show signs of life again, there wasn't anyone around that I actually wanted. Oh, I'm sure I would have had a few volunteers, but I just wanted to scratch an itch and most of the men around me would have wanted something more…something I was emotionally unable to give them. So I just took care of the itch myself."
A wicked grin spread across Alistair's face. "I wouldn't mind a demonstration of your scratching techniques."
"Oh, you would, huh?"
Alistair continued to grin as he nodded.
"Hmm, I'll have to think about that," Sabrina purred.
"Sooo….then maybe this wasn't just a one-time thing?" Alistair asked.
"Hmmm, maybe if you play your cards right it might not be."
Alistair rolled over and pulled her to his chest, "Well, that's good to know. I've become a very good card player." He kissed her forehead and held her tightly. They fell asleep in each other's embrace.
It took them seven more days to reach Orzammar. They could have made it in three, but they only rode for half the day before they would make camp and then spend the rest of the night making love to each other. It was the happiest seven days of Alistair's life.
When they reached Orzammar, a guard informed them that Bhelen was expecting them at the Palace. They greeted the Dwarven King, who insisted that they stay at the Palace while they remained in the city. Two days had passed and tomorrow they would make their journey into the Deep Roads together. Bhelen had insisted on throwing a state dinner for Sabrina, much to her dismay, but on some level Alistair thought she was pleased to say goodbye to the dwarves that she cared about. Dagna was there as was Kardol with several members of the Legion of the Dead.
As she made her way further into the room, Alistair watched as the air around them shifted and Zevran shimmered into view. Sabrina staggered slightly in surprise and gasped as she whispered, "Zev."
The assassin smiled at her, "La mia dea mortale, you didn't think I could possibly let you have the last word and not give me the chance to tell you what you have meant to me."
Alistair watched as Sabrina's lips trembled and her eyes filled with tears. "Z-zev…" her voice broke and she couldn't finish the sentence. Zev grabbed Sabrina by the waist and before he could react the assassin shimmered into the shadows with Sabrina in his arms.
xxXxx
Holding onto her tightly, Zevran remained cloaked in the shadows as he edged around the room, out the door and back to his room in the palace. Zev had done several jobs for Bhelen and because of that he always had an open invitation to the palace.
When they entered the room they both slid out of the shadows. He led her over to the bed and sat her down. Then he walked over to the bar and poured both of them a glass of wine. He handed it to her and then sat down beside her. He ran his fingers through her long dark curls and tucked her hair behind her ear. He smiled when he saw the earring that he had given her all those years ago, safely in her ear; he lovingly caressed the earlobe. His heart was pounding with fear, he didn't know how to say all that he felt for the exquisite creature that sat beside him and he had no idea how he was going to go on without her.
He clasped her hands and drew in a deep breath, "Mia Tesoro Amica, when I woke the morning you left and read your letter, for the first time that I can remember I had tears in my eyes. Not just because your words moved me so deeply, so profoundly, but because you denied me the chance to tell you what your love and friendship has meant to me. I went to kill you as a way to end my own pain and suffering. When I met you that day on the road I wanted to die, but Maker only knows why you spared me and for the first time in my life, someone believed in me and trusted me.
"Bella mia, I am so thankful that I had you as a part of my life for the past twenty-six years. Our friendship is truly a miracle…a high born noble and the son of a whore assassin, most wouldn't have given us a chance in hell of making it, but we proved them wrong. I have very few people that I would actually consider a friend, but that has never bothered me because I have always had you, YOU make me content, YOU make me happy and Y-You make this life worth living. Bree, you know I'm not a praying man, but the one prayer that I made to the Maker, the relief that I strongly desire no matter how greedy it may sound, is that I can't live without you. I want to beg you, please don't go, but I know the pain you're in and it's selfish for me to ask that, so instead I implore you to take me with you. P-please Bree, my f-fragile heart can't continue to beat without you in this w-world, take me with you."
The sob tore from her throat as she gasped for breath, "Oh Z-zev…" Her hands shook beneath his and she bit her lip to try and gain some control of her emotions. She looked into his eyes, "Zev, I n-need you to live. I need to know that you are here, alive and carrying on the work that we started together. If you love me, you w-will live Zev."
Zev fell on his knees and buried his head in her lap and cried. She stroked his hair and back for a long time and then she forced him to look at her. "Promise me, Zevran, promise me you will live and that you will honor my memory and our friendship by living well."
He stared at her for a long time then he nodded slowly. She shook her head, "Not good enough. I want to hear you say it."
"Mia Tesoro Amica you have my word, on your love and friendship, I will honor your memory and live well."
She threw herself into his arms and held onto him tightly, "Thank you Zev."
xxXxx
Sabrina had been gone for hours and Alistair had been stuck entertaining Bhelen. This is not how he wanted to spend his last night. If he had to listen to one more story from the sodding bastard, he was going to throw himself at the feet of an Archdemon and beg it to eat him.
Then he saw her make her way back into the hall with Zev. He was holding her up as he escorted her in. She looked…she looked utterly drained. Alistair made his way over to her and took her from Zev. He looked at the assassin and he could see the anguish in his eyes and Alistair felt for him, glad beyond words that he would not be the one that had to stay behind. They both respectfully nodded at each other. He knew that it had been an emotional night for Bree and she had held on for as long as she could, but he didn't think she was going to last much longer. The corrupting taint and the long emotional goodbyes had taken their toll on her.
Alistair leaned in and whispered, "You need to rest. It's time to go."
She gave a curt nod and Alistair assisted her as she made her way around the room to say her final goodbyes then he led her back to their room, he quietly undressed himself and without a word undressed her.
He reached for her hand; at first he gently stroked her palm with his fingertips. She had once told him that his touch was like sweet magic and he hoped that some of that enchanted power gave her some additional strength. He then brought her palm to his lips, pressed tiny kisses into it and he felt a tremor pass through her.
He gazed at her beautiful face, her slender neck and shoulders, her toned arms, her incredibly alluring breasts, the flat sculpted stomach that led to her glorious womanhood and her long lean legs. He memorized every line, every curve as he drank in the unequalled woman that was his Bree.
He scooped her up into his arms and carried her to the bed. He laid her down and joined her. His mouth sought hers, he poured every ounce of love he had for her into that kiss. This was not a night for exploration, tonight was about the need to be physically joined as one, to take solace and comfort in one another; their naked flesh met and in one swift movement he entered her. He heard her breathe a sigh of relief as she wrapped her arms around his neck and clung to him. He made love to her slowly, tenderly, leisurely as if they had all the time in the world. They both did a thorough job of pleasing each other and eventually they fell back on the bed completely sated, their legs and arms entangled in each other.
Alistair brushed a hair out of her eyes and smiled warmly at her. "Loss, it seems, has always been a part of my life, but it has taught me what should be valued. I've realized that the best kind of love stirs the soul and makes us want more; it places a fire in our hearts and gives us peace of mind. Loving you, Bree, taught me what kind of man I wanted to be and what kind of man I didn't want to become. I know I didn't always show it, but loving you made me want to be better – a better man, a better King, a better father and husband. The greatest honor of my life has been knowing and loving you."
Tears were streaming down her face and he used his thumb to wipe them away. "Alistair…"
He placed his thumb over her lips, "Sssh, you don't have to say anything."
Her lips kissed his thumb and then she pulled away slightly. "Alistair, I can't thank you enough for this past week. Since Tristen died I have been a shell of my former self, but these past two weeks I have been someone else with you, someone more like me. For the second time in my life, you brought me back to life when I felt dead inside. Alistair, you have given me strength to face what's ahead. I can't thank you enough for that. It has been one of my greatest joys to call you my King, my friend and my lover. Thank you."
Alistair leaned in and passionately kissed her then he pulled her to his chest and they fell asleep for the last time in each others' embrace.
Alistair stood on the ramparts at Vigil's Keep, overlooking the valley and forest that surrounded the castle. He had always enjoyed spending time here. It was like coming home from an extended trip. The Wardens had always felt like family to him and both Tristen and Sabrina always made him feel like a member of the family.
He felt his brother's presence and spun to find him. He was glad to see him and at the same time guilt tore through him as he thought about the past two weeks with Sabrina.
Alistair smiled at him, "Well, we are almost home brother."
Tristen smiled back at him, "I know. It's been a long journey for the two of you. I appreciate you being there for her. Helping her through this, Alistair. I don't know if she would have had the strength to make this journey without you."
"You don't believe that Tristen. She is the strongest person I know," Alistair countered.
Tristen shook his head. "Since my calling she has slowly withdrawn into herself, she has been slowly dying for the past five years. It's been heartbreaking to watch, but these past two weeks with you, I saw her come back to life again, I saw her strength and drive renewed. You did that my brother, you gave her what I could not. I can't thank you enough for that and I owe you."
Now the guilt was really raging through him and for a moment he thought he might cry. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he tried to hold on to his emotions. When he opened his eyes again, Tristen was directly in front of him. He grasped Alistair's shoulders and looked directly into his eyes, "Alistair, you have nothing to feel guilty about. You love her, you have always loved her and I know that she loves you, she always has, she never stopped, but life and circumstances took you out of her life and I was blessed to have her in mine. Alistair, she loved both of us separately, differently, but equally. So there is nothing wrong with wanting to be intimate and take comfort in the person you love when you know your journey together is coming to a close."
Alistair looked at his brother completely amazed at his ability to understand the craziness of the circumstances that they were in. "Tristen you have to know that when you were alive I never once acted on my feelings for Sabrina. I remained faithful to my wife and loyal to you."
Tristen gave him a knowing smile. "I know brother and I know there were times that you could have pressed your advantage, but didn't. I appreciate that and I know how hard that was for you because I know the depths of your feelings for her. They run as deep as mine do."
Alistair hugged his brother and Tristen returned the hug. "I'll see you soon, Alistair."
"I'll see you soon, Tristen."
Alistair jolted awake and he thought about his encounter with his brother. Tristen was an amazing man and the Maker had truly blessed him by bringing him back into his life. As crazy as their situation was, they had still managed to love and respect each other. Alistair drifted back to sleep thinking about one of his favorite adventures that he had shared with his twin.
They rose early the next morning and ate breakfast in comfortable silence. Once they were dressed in their armor, they quietly headed out of the Palace. As they approached the entrance to the Deep Roads there was a large group of men and women gathered near the entryway. As they got closer Sabrina recognized the crest on their shields and came to a sudden stop. At least two dozen Wardens stood facing each other, the two rows of Wardens stood far enough apart to create a long path. As they approached, a Warden spun to face them and a gasp slipped through Sabrina's lips when she recognized Nate. Alistair looked down the line of Wardens and he recognized many of the faces there; standing across from Nate was Anders, then Oghren and Sigrun, then Connor and Tess. The tribute was humbling beyond words.
Nate held his sword directly in front of his face with the end pointed upward. "To honor the two Wardens that fought ferociously to end the Blight, to pay tribute to the King of Ferelden, to honor the Hero and first Ferelden Warden Commander since the Blight, the Grey Wardens salute you as you make your final journey as Wardens."
Nate then spun to face the Warden on the opposite side of him. He then called out, "Ferelden Wardens, present arms."
In one swift movement the Wardens raised their swords high into the air creating an arch. Both Alistair and Sabrina stood in awe for a long moment, both moved beyond words or actions.
Then Alistair grabbed Sabrina's hand, he lovingly smiled at her, "Are you ready?"
Sabrina nodded. "Then let's go. He's waiting for us; it's time to head home."
Sabrina smiled at him, squeezed his hand indicating that she was ready. Both of them drew their swords and like they had all those years ago, together they charged toward their destiny.
Author's Notes – It was with a sad heart that I wrote these Epilogues. It was hard to say good-bye to these strong, vivid characters that loved deeply and passionately and had grown together as their lives evolved. I hope that you have enjoyed their tale.
*Thank you to all the faithful readers and reviewers of this story. I have appreciated your comments and reviews. You guys are wonderful.
*After writing chapter 17 and then playing Dragon Age 2, Anders has inspired me to continue on with this story. Although the story will center on Anders, Brin, Tristen and Alistair will all be a part of the upcoming sequel, Blood Sugar Sex Magik, so I hope that you will continue to follow their journey.
*Last, but not least I want thank RandomWittering and Jinx1983for help and support throughout this entire story and for their for their outstanding advice with these three emotional epilogues. Their suggestions help make these epilogues even more powerful. Thank you. You two special ladies are the best and you mean the world to me.