A/N: Hey, thanks for the reviews. You all make me want to write more. BTW there's a scene in this chapter where Rose cuts herself to get rid of the emotional pain, if this offends anyone I'm sorry but it's needed for the story. Enjoy and please review. If there are no review I'm not going to post (only kidding how could I not post) but it doesn't mean don't review. Love you all.

I didn't want to go but I had to do what was best for the greater good. I grabbed my suitcase from under my bed.

I didn't start packing instead I changed into my pyjamas and just sat in the darkest corner of my room crying. I actually contemplated cutting myself. I got a razor blade from the bathroom and I sat back in the corner of my room. I placed it on my arm and created pressure. The blade broke the skin and it started to bleed. Lissa once said that physically pain would make you not think about the emotional pain –for a while, until you stop cutting yourself –. I could still feel the emotional pain so I made another cut; this one was a little deeper and longer.

I was still crying I was going to cut myself again when someone came into my room. The lights were off so I couldn't see who it was and they couldn't see me either. I noticed their hand move over to the wall to turn on the light. They turned the light on; I closed my eyes for them to adjust. I opened my eyes and saw Dimitri closing the door behind him. He turned around and started walking to the bathroom. He looked to where I was sitting and then did a double take. In seconds he was kneeling in front of me.

"Rose." He said cautiously. He moved his hand closer to mine. "Give me the blade."

"No! I've got to make the pain go away!"

"Please give it me. I'll make the pain go away." He was desperate for me to give him the blade. "Please. Roza . . . please." The way he said my name made me drop the blade. He picked it up and threw it in the bin. He got a towel out of the cupboard and the first aid kit. I started crying more. He wrapped his arms around me and let me soak his shirt.

"I'm so . . . sorry." I said between heavy breaths.

"It's okay Roza." He let go of me to attend to my arm. "What were you doing?" He asked carefully trying not to spark another emotional breakdown.

"I needed . . . to stop the pain. To make it . . . go away."

"What pain?"

"Emotional pain. Physically pain makes you forget about the emotional pain."

"Roza you talk to people not go and cut yourself." He said a little upset and probably disappointed. It was hard for him to keep emotions under control.

"Everyone's left my life. I have no one."
"Roza! Don't," He started. "Look at me!" I moved my head up a little. He was getting annoyed. He grabbed my chin and moved my head up so his eyes would meet mine. "Listen there are people here for you that love you and care about you don't push them out of your life because of what you think."

"It's not what I think it's what I know."

"How do you know?"

"Christian and I had an argument before and Lissa was trying to calm us down. Then Christian told her to choose between me and him. She didn't say anything and then he walked away. I told her that she should go and find him and to stay away from me until things calm down." Dimitri understood but he was still confused.
"What were you arguing about?"

"You," Shocked covered his features.

'Me? What about me? What would spark that much anger between Christian and you for Lissa to choose between you?"

"I was watching you and Tasha dance and he took it the wrong way." His eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

"But it wasn't just that."

"I was upset before Christian asked what was wrong. He claimed that I got someone to make a lust spell for you to fall in love with me again and he said that I faked a note to Tasha in your writing saying that you no longer wanted her."

"What? No you didn't. I would remember a lust spell. I remember the one we were put under."

"I know but that's not how Christian sees it." He finished bandaging my arm but he held my hand.

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know." I stood up and went over to my suitcase. He was behind me. I wanted to hug him and for him to tell it would be okay. I started getting clothes and putting it into my suitcase.

"Are you leaving?"

"I told Lissa I would." This was so hard for me, every word that left his mouth made me want to cry. I didn't know how I would leave, but all I know is that I have to go.
"You don't have to go."

"Yes I do."

"Who's going to be Lissa's guardian?" He was trying to stall me.

"Anyone but me,"

"Don't go." He said.

"Why? Why do you want me to stay?" I faced him at this point.

"Because I love you. What about the other night? What about us?" He was getting a little more desperate at this point.

"There is no us! If you wanted me you shouldn't have left. I never made you leave." I was a shocked to hear those words come out of my mouth.

"Yes you did!" We were both getting angry.

"How?" I was confused but still angry. He walked from me and went over to his duster. He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and walked over to me. He handed it to me. "What's this?"

"You should know." I opened it and it was a letter in my writing. I don't remember writing a letter.

Dimitri,

I'm happy for you and Natasha. Forget about what happened during training. Forget about the way I acted. I still love you but I can't have you even though I've graduated it's not just that I can't have you it's that I no longer want you.

Tasha can give you what you want; a baby and a happy married life. Everything that happened between us it was never real. It shouldn't have happened and I'm sorry that you were put in that position. Trust me this hurts me more that it'll hurt you. I no longer love you, leave with Tasha and be with someone that loves you.

Best wishes,

Rose.

Dimitri was looking up so I couldn't read his eyes.

"Dimitri listen," He didn't look up. I took a step towards him and stood on my toes so I was at eye level with him. "I swear to you with all my love, I never wrote this. I cried for weeks without. I cried myself to sleep for goodness sake. Why would I write this if I love you? You left without a goodbye under your own pretensenses so don't please don't blame me for your choices."

"Well if you didn't write it then who did?" He asked confused.

'I don't know. All I know is that something funny is going on." I packed some more clothes and things into another bag.

"I did say goodbye. I went to your room but you weren't there. And I went there again after curfew."

"Yeah well I went to see you too but Tasha said you weren't in." I had finished packing at this point.

"Oh." He was happy that I went to see him. I went over to him. He looked down on me. I stood on my toes again and placed my hands on his chest.

"Thank you. Thank you for everything. I love you and I'll miss you. Please whatever you do promise me you'll take of Lissa, Christian, Eddie and Adrian."

"I promise." I pulled him in for a hug and pulled back slowly. As I pulled back I kept my eyes on his face and on his lips. I didn't pull away completely. I was inches away from his lips. I was about to move closer when he closed the distance. He kissed me so hard I fell back onto my feet and staggered backwards He caught me so I wouldn't fall, he wrapped his arm around my waist but he didn't break the embrace. He walked me towards the bed. He had one hand in my hair pulling me closer and another around my waist. He pushed me onto the bed.

"Please don't go." He said breathless. He kissed me again before I could answer.

He moved his hands over to my midriff. He put his hands under my shirt. My hands were tangled in his hair. He moved his hand to one of my breasts. He started playing with my nipple.

"Oh god, Dimitri,"

"Don't go. I'll bring you pleasure like this every night. I love you. I need you. You are my other half. I need you to get through life." He had pulled off my shirt at this point.

"I can't. I have to go. You're with Tasha."

"Then at least one last night please,"

"You're with Tasha."

"Shhh no more talking. Let me do the work." And with that last statement he roamed my body. Making me do things I've never done before. Every thrust made me scream out his name and he would repeat my name over and over again. We were both in ecstasy and enjoying our last night together.

We both slept happily that night.

I left before Dimitri woke up. I left the Court and went as far as I could. He found me before and I had no doubt he would find he know. He knew me well so he would probably find me quicker than he did last time. I caught the first bus out of the area and it was going to Spokane. Yah just where I wanted to be. I though sarcastically. Memories that didn't need to be remembered would be remembered.

A/N: What did you guys think of this chapter? It actually took me longer than I thought it would. What do you guys think of the story line so far? Good or crap. I thank everyone who's reviewed or PM me with ideas. I love you all and I try to post as soon as I write them. Sorry if I take too long. Read my other FF's and don't forget to review and oh have a good day.