ach. you are all going to kill me.

no, you totally are. it's just that there is no way I can add a new chapter yet. not after seeing 'Fault.'' because that completely changed my view of the OE relationship. I mean COMPLETELY changed it…

I don't know if you've seen that episode yet (um, yeah if you haven't and you call yourself an OE shipper…get the hell onto that case, honey) but it blew me away, personally. For once in about, oh, THE HISTORY OF EVER, OE shippers weren't the only ones saying: 'OMFG. ELLIOT AND OLIVIA REALLY DO CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER.' no, this episode completely changed how every SVU fan looked at their relationship. first it was Elliot choosing Olivia. did you see the look in his eyes? DID YOU SEE THE LOOK IN HIS EYES? and then for once in LIKE THE HISTORY OF EVER the writers decided to do something right. Elliot fears his feelings. you know it and I know it and every person watching knows it and ELLIOT knew it- he felt something more for his partner. and he was afraid of it, and so he did what Elliot Stabler always does. he has a freaking emotional outburst all over it. it was so human of him. so real. so perfect.

and then that whole scene in the interrogation room and after in the station- they both realize what's going on and they're both afraid. (and, might I add, that part with Elliot continually interrupting her, much to her annoyance, was so classically fanfic that I was squealing)

but what shocked me was what Elliot said to Huang. 'No…she did.' I mean, what does that MEAN? okay, so we know what that MEANS (we're OE shippers- we know what EVERYTHING means), but do we know what it completely means? And Huang tells him not to leave, but he storms out anyway. What are the writers alluding to here? Are they finally giving us insight into the relationship we've been screaming about for so long?

And then the end. I knew she wouldn't shoot. I KNEW it. 'You and the job are all I have left…' oh god. tearing up here. at this point in the story I was pretty much just saying 'OMFG' over and over again. I mean it. I couldn't stop. Elliot is still in COMPLETE denial (snort) but for once his anger has consequences. he loses the one person he's proven this episode means something to him. you can't blame Olivia. they're both in denial. they're both afraid. a relationship is acknowledged, and it's acknowledged as something more than friends. AND IT ACTUALLY TOOK CENTER STAGE IN AN EPISODE.

DICK WOLF I AM SO TOTALLY GETTING YOU LAID FOR THIS.

but anyway, I really need to think about this story. I don't know if any of you writers in the middle of an OE fanfic had this happen to you, but right now I'm kind of afraid to go through with this. I realize that maybe the characters would have reacted completely differently to a relationship, and right now I just want to see what the canon storyline does to deal with the current issue. my story has become so important to so many SVU fans that I am almost afraid to keep this up with such an amazing story coming out of TPTB. for once in an extremely long time (say…NEVER!) we got OE. and we got in the most humanly raw way possible. and since I am still in cerebral shock from the whole affair, I don't know what I am going to do for a few days.

BUT BEAR WITH ME. IT WILL BE CONTINUED. JUST WAIT UNTIL SAY…TOMORROW.