Disclaimer: Don't own the show, don't own the characters, don't own the songs

Chapter 3

It had been ten days since he got Olivia's letter, and the worry was slowly starting to creep in again. He knew that he couldn't reasonably expect her to be able to send him constant updates as to how she was doing, but he couldn't help it. The day after he received the first letter, his co workers immediately noticed a change in him. For the first few days, he endured constant verbal jabs from Fin and Munch, trying to pry some clue loose as to the cause of his good mood. At first, it appeared they attributed his good mood to his improving relationship with Dani. That theory was blown to hell when he exploded on her after she made some snide comment about not being like "Saint Olivia". His words had drawn bewildered stares from around the bullpen, and a stern scolding from Captain Cragen. After that, Dani could barely look him in the eyes, and made certain to never mention Olivia again in front of him, but he never apologized. He didn't think he needed to, not where defending Olivia is concerned.

Two days ago, Fin and Munch had finally had enough of getting no answers out of him, and cornered him directly:

-flashback—

Elliot had noticed Munch and Fin's eyes on him all afternoon, it seemed like they were waiting for something, though he didn't know what that was. He figured it out when they jumped up when Dani left her desk (and he scoffed at that, because it wasn't Dani's desk, it was Olivia's desk), and announced that she was running out for coffee. They cautiously approached him, not sure how he would take their intrusion. Elliot wasn't known to share much with his coworkers who weren't named Olivia. When Fin asked to talk to him, the thing that made up his mind was the fact that he knew they cared about Olivia too, and they had a right to know that she was alright. If the situation was reversed and Fin was gone, he would want to know, as well. He calmly looked over his shoulder, noticing the Captains concentration on a phone call, and silently beckoned them upstairs and into the cribs.

He cautiously appraised them, and extended an olive branch. "Listen, what I'm about to tell you, you can't repeat. Not to anyone."

They looked at one another, and it was Munch who finally asked, "By anyone, you mean…?" Purposely leaving the question open ended.

"No one." Elliot insisted, "Not the Captain, not Dani, not Casey, no one."

Their eyes slowly widened in realization, there were very few people on the planet that Elliot Stabler would be that protective of, and as far as they knew, his kids were fine, so that left only one other option. It was Fin who spoke for the both of them, "If this is about Olivia, you have our word. Whatever you say, stays between the three of us."

Elliot hadn't expected anything less, and he reached into the breast pocket of his dress shirt, where he kept her letter. "I heard from Olivia." Seeing their eyes widen, he continued. "That's why you can't say anything. She could get in serious trouble if anyone finds out what she did." Seeing their nods of agreement, he held up the envelope, so they could see the writing, and he could tell they recognized it by the wide smiles on their faces.

He was pleased to see that they took as much reassurance by those few scrawled lines as he did, and knew he made the right decision to confide in them. "I'm not going to show you the letter, its personal." He saw their smiles turn to knowing smirks at that, and continued on, unashamed. "It's not even a letter, really. It's the lyrics to a song. If I'm interpreting it correctly, she's undercover, alone. From the envelope, I can tell she's in Oregon. The only thing she told me is that she will be back, though she couldn't say when."

They both looked suitably concerned when they realized their suspicions about her being undercover were correct. It wasn't that they didn't trust her to look after herself, but they above all, know what horrors lurk in the shadows of the world, and if she was by herself, who knows what could happen. But the reassurance that she would eventually return to them, was comforting at least. After a significant glance betwe between the three of them, reaffirming the need for secrecy, Elliot promised to let them know if he heard from her again.

-end flashback—

He was relieved that he could put some of his friends concerns to rest, and now he wished he could provide further reassurance. As he locked up his apartment for the night, he tore through the stack of mail like a man starved, the same way he had done so for the last ten days. This time, he was rewarded with another plain envelope with no return address, stamped with an Oregon postmark. Smiling, feeling that little coil of worry in his stomach unclench, he opened the letter, and clung to the words held within.

El-

I kept the right ones out
And let the wrong ones in
Had an angel of mercy
To see me through all my sins
There were times in my life
When I was goin' insane

Tryin' to walk through the pain
And when I lost my grip
And I hit the floor
Yeah, I tought I could leave
But couldn't get out the door
I was so sick n' tired
Of livin' a lie
I was wishing that I would die

That one last shot's a permanent vacation
And a how high can you fly with broken wings
Life's a journey - not a destination
And I just can't tell just what tomorrow brings

You have to learn to crawl
Before you learn to walk
But I just couldn't listen
To all that righteous talk
I was out on the street
Just tryin' to survive
Scratchin' to stay alive

It's amazing
With the blink of an eye
You finally see the light
Oh it's amazing
When the moment arrives
You know you'll be alright
Yeah it's amazing
And I'm saying a prayer
To the desperate hearts tonight

My journey will bring me back to you. I hope you understand why I did what I did. You are my angel of mercy, and I'm ready to let you in.

Tears were running down his face by the time he finished the letter. God, was she being serious? Of course he understood what happened. How could she doubt him like that? But then, he realized, how could she not? She was all alone on the other side of the country, with no way for him to reassure her. He knew what she was feeling through these letters, and she was just flying blind. Taking a leap of faith that she prayed he was going to be at the end of to catch her. He vowed, there and then, do to everything in his power to reassure her of that fact when she got back. If that involved never letting her out of his sight again, he was more than happy to make that sacrifice.

As he laid in bed that night, smiling over thoughts of her again, he was grateful for one other thing. He actually knew what song it was, so this time he didn't have to spend all day on the computer trying to figure out what song she sent him.

And there's chapter 3, if you like it, drop me a line and let me know :)

Song for this chapter: Amazing by Aerosmith