Disclaimer: Don't own the show, don't own the characters, don't own the songs

Chapter 6

Elliot didn't think that he'd ever made it from the station house to the court house as fast as he did that day. To be honest, he didn't remember driving over there at all. All he knew is that as soon as he pulled up in front of the court house and threw his car in park, and was sprinting up the steps so fast there was no force of nature that could have stopped him. As he neared the court room the trial was taking place in, he finally slowed down, pondering the ramifications of walking into that room. After two months of separation, he was finally going to be face to face with Olivia again. Liv, the woman he is finally able to admit to himself he is in love with. The woman who, through the poetry of song, had confessed, if not her love, then her desire for him. The idea, frankly, left him weak in the knees.

Bracing himself, he slowly opened the doors. Before he even got into the room, the soothing sound of her voice washed over him. She really was here. The thought brought tears to his eyes once again (God, how many times has she made him cry over the last few months?), and he pushed further into the room so that he could finally lay his eyes on her. When he did, he nearly fell into the nearest chair, because his legs had long since given up on supporting him. He saw her eyes widen when she saw him, and her speech noticeably paused. It took her a few seconds for her to compose herself, but she managed to, and continued with her testimony while he took the time to look her over. His hands clenched the arms of his chair in rage when he took in the butterfly bandages over a cut at her hairline, and the lurid yellow and purple bruises surrounding it. Someone had hurt her. Someone had allowed her to get hurt. It took a few moments for Elliot to get himself under control, and resume his perusal of her.

Her hair was longer. And lighter. Even under the drab, fluorescent lights of the court house, she glowed. The bangs were new as well. Olivia Benson was always a beautiful woman to him, but in this moment, he has never seen anyone as captivating as she was. They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and while he never knew that he could be fonder of Olivia, there she was, once again, shattering all of his preconceptions. He had a choice between focusing on her eyes or her wound, and decided to reassure her and lock eyes with her. He knew that she had poured her heart out to him in her letters, and he needed to reassure her that she wasn't hanging out on that ledge all on her own, that he was right there with her. Her eyes remained with his through the rest of her testimony, though she never faltered again like she did initially. When the judge finally dismissed her from the stand, it felt like their eyes had said all that needed to be said. She was sorry, and he forgives her.

She made her way to Casey, who once again thanked her and expressed her gratitude for returning, but her eyes never left him. Casey turns, and upon seeing him, realizes the silent communication she is interfering in, and excuses herself. Elliot doesn't think he's ever seen Olivia Benson shy, but sure enough, there she is, shyly walking towards him. He can see all the unanswered questions in her eyes, and all he wants to do is reassure her, but it can't happen here. He needs to get her out of here, somewhere where they can talk and not be disturbed. When she finally stood in front of him, afraid to meet his eyes, he reached out and took her hand in his, gently stroking his thumb along her knuckles. He saw her close her eyes, and felt the shudder run through her and into his hand. Gently, he asked, "I'm not implying anything here, but will you come with me back to my place? I think we are long overdue for several conversations, and we need to sort this out between ourselves now, before anyone else gets the chance to interfere. We can go to your place, if you prefer."

Her eyes brighten somewhat, as if she is almost afraid to hope, and she nods, "Your place is fine. I imagine you actually have food, and hopefully beer."

In response, he laughs and tucks a piece of her newly acquired bangs behind her ear, "Yeah, I have both." They both gently smile at one another and walk out of the court room, still joined at the hand and smiling softly.

The ride to his apartment is quiet, and much calmer than his last ride in the car. It's a silent mutual decision that they need to be able to hash this out, face to face, in order to have any sort of acceptable solution. When they arrive, he solemnly slides his keys into the lock and lets them in, aware of the oppressive air that falls over them, and this is the last thing that he wants. This thing, their feelings, it's starting to feel like a burden they need to deal with, and it hurts that it feels that way. As soon as the door is closed and locked behind him, he grabs her wrist, stopping her from moving to the couch, and asks the two questions that have been buzzing against his brain since he read her letter last night. "That third letter, that song… you're OK, right? And your last letter, the Sarah McLachlan letter, did you mean it?"

He can tell that she's fighting the smile that's growing, but she lets it loose anyway. "You found the songs from the letters I sent?" He can hear a trace of honest bewilderment in her voice.

"Of course I did," he sighs. "Especially after the third one. Liv, I know you needed to vent, but you scared the hell out of me with that one."

She silently nods and acknowledges him, "I know, I didn't mean to worry you. I just… when I wrote you those letters, those were the songs that made the most sense to me at the moment. I was so angry when I wrote that. I was so tired of being someone that I wasn't, and I just needed to know that someone out there was listening to my anger, and cared."

"Oh I cared alright," he chuckled. "You nearly drove me out of my mind with worry over that letter. That was actually the first letter I let Fin and Munch read." He saw her eyes rise to his in panic, and sought to reassure her. "I told them about the letters only so they would know you were alright. They worried too. Then, when I got the third letter, Liv, I panicked. The thought that you were alone, and hurting, tore me apart. I will never regret telling them about the letters for that reason alone, no matter how mad you are at me. They helped keep me sane through everything."

He saw her give a brief smile and a nod, acknowledging her approval of telling Munch and Fin about the letters, while not breaking her confidence. He then bravely moved forward, "And as far as your last letter… God, Liv, I couldn't breathe after I read it." He saw her tense in response, and quickly tried to reassure her, "You have no idea how much that song affected me. Liv, I can't hide it anymore. I love you, so much. I want you and need you so mu-"

His sentence was cut off when she covered his lips with hers, and he was in heaven. Nothing should feel as good as Olivia's lips against his. The kiss started out tentative at first, but slowly grew passionate. This was nine years of unrequited tension melting away, and Elliot was surprised that his furniture was left unaffected. Tentatively, he parted her lips with his tongue, seeking acceptance. When she welcomed him whole heartedly, he lost control. The kiss turned from sweet and exploring to passionate and demanding in an instant. He thrust his tongue into her mouth and kissed her with all the pent up love and desire he had in him. After a few minutes, he pulled away. He had to make himself clear.

He grabbed her face in both of his hands and looked deep within her eyes. "I love you, Liv. I don't know for how long, all I know is that the moment I heard that your phone was disconnected all I could think of was that you were gone, and I never told you that I love you."

She looked back into his eyes as deeply as he was looking into her, and replied, "I love you too, El. So much, its scares me."

That was all the explanation he needed then. It explained Gitano, computer crimes, everything. He leaned down and kissed her again. While he was battling her for dominance, he reached down and grabbed her under her thighs and brought her legs around him, and he carried her to the bedroom. As he laid her down onto his bed, he couldn't believe how lucky he was. The woman he had loved for years, was under him, and loving him. He slowly teased the edge of her shirt, silently asking permission. When she arched her back in clear permission to remove it, he tugged it over her. Wasting no time, he had her bra off within seconds. Gazing down at her with all the love and desire he had, he saw her smile back. Taking this as acceptance, he slowly leaned down, taking her breast into his mouth.

He took his time tasting her, relishing the taste of her after being denied for so long. While he was worshipping her body, he felt her hands come up and divest him of his shirt. When both their torsos were naked, she took advantage of the situation and began running her hands up his arms, abdomen and chest, relishing in the contact between them. Needing to take this further, he reached down and toyed with the button of her dress slacks. When she offered no resistance, he wasted no time in relieving her of not only her pants, but her panties as well, leaving her naked below him.

She was not one to be left behind, because sure enough, she was deftly unbuttoning his jeans, and rendering him completely naked as well. They were both completely exposed to one another, and as he looked into her eyes, he realized that though there should be discomfort, there wasn't. There was nothing but complete love and acceptance between them, for what they felt, and what they were doing. He tried to move his mouth down past her naval, but she caught on to what he was doing, and grabbed his ear, pulling him back up.

He thought he would collapse on top of her when she huskily whispered in his ear, "I need you inside me, now."

He reached a hand down to the juncture of her legs, testing, teasing her, making absolutely certain she was ready for him. When he got nothing but an affirmation, he pulled himself onto his elbows, eye level with her. He sought one last confirmation with her before he finally, slowly, buried himself within her. When he was sure he couldn't get any deeper, he stopped and looked once again into her eyes, and found himself overwhelmed again. "I love you, so much Liv," he whispered breathlessly.

He saw nothing but acceptance in her eyes when she huskily breathed back, "I love you too, El."

With that, he lost himself within her. At first, he tried to keep the tempo slow and even, but the more she gasped and moaned beneath him, the more he lost himself in her. He found himself picking up the tempo to the point where their moans turned into small cries. Cries for what, neither of them knew, but nothing could feel as good as they felt at that moment. He felt himself losing control, and he picked up the pace once again. When she responded in kind, he couldn't help himself, "God, Liv, I'm so close."

She moaned loudly in his ear in response, and breathed, "Me too, El, God, me too…"

It wasn't long before he could feel her start to let go, and if this was heaven, then he prayed never leaves, because nothing on this Earth should feel as perfect as this woman shattering around him. As soon as this thought passed through his muddled brain, he found himself following her into the most mind blowing climax he has ever experienced.

After breathing for a few minutes, trying to compose himself, he realizes it. This woman underneath him has ruined him for all other women. She is it for him. As much as this thought should terrify him, it has the complete opposite effect, and he can't help but capture her panting lips with his and letting them express the complete and utter devotion to this woman he has recently discovered.

They still need to talk, he realizes. That was what he intended to do when he brought her to his apartment, not that he minds the distraction. Slowly, he rolls to the side, and she instantly curls into him, laying her head over his heart. Smiling, he leans down and kisses her temple, "We will talk, I promise. Right now, I just want to hold you for a while."

He can feel her smile in response against his chest as she replies, "Whatever, I don't plan on going anywhere."

He can't fight the smile these words bring to his face, and knowing that any further talking would bring about a conversation that would last way longer than he was willing to have right now, he just tightened his arms around her, and let himself doze off.

A/N- :::Peeks out from between fingers::: I swear, I have NO idea where that came from! When I started writing this, I had no intention of writing an M scene... I have never even written anything like that before, this whole thing just got away from me. I've been terrified to post this chapter! Literally, I've been working up the nerve to post this all afternoon, so PLEASE let me know what you think. Especially since the next chapter may or may not have more, and I need to know if it may or may not need to be removed, ;)

No song on this one, though, if you note the chapter title, this was inspired by the song Fearless by Cyndi Lauper. It should also be noted that whenever I'm writing this, I have the Sucker Punch soundtrack playing, so that could be considered part of the inspiration...