Disclaimer: Don't own the show, don't own the characters, don't own the songs
See the A/N at the bottom for authors groveling
Chapter 8
Surprisingly, they both slept through the night. They had both been plagued with insomnia since she left, and this was the first night they slept without interruptions or nightmares in two months. At one point, he vaguely remembers waking up and setting the alarm, before curling back into her. Sometime during the night, they shifted positions, so that he was spooning her to him, their hands woven together across her stomach. Neither one of them can remember how long it's been since they slept so peacefully, and when the alarm blares out the next morning, neither is willing to let it end.
In the end, sensibility wins out and they realize they got a free pass yesterday, and they need to get up now so that they don't face any trouble back at the station. They both shower separately since the temptation for what would happen should they shower together would be too great. Soon enough they're out the door. They have to stop at Olivia's apartment so that she can change into a fresh pair of clothes. While she's changing, a quick inspection of her fridge makes Elliot realize that her lie to the Captain the day before wasn't that big of a lie. There are fuzzy boxes in her fridge, and he was pretty sure that they weren't initially intended to be fuzzy.
"You might want to pack a bag for a couple of days, and leave it in the car," he calls out to her down the hall.
"Why?" She jokes from her room. "Are you kidnapping me?"
"As much as I'd like to, it turns out your lie yesterday wasn't really a lie," he laughs out. "Turns out we might have the call the CDC on your refrigerator. Seeing as how you used up that excuse yesterday, it seems you have no choice but to stay with me until we can find the free time to, ah, sanitize your apartment, as you put it."
He can hear her laughing down the hall as she quickly throws a few things together, and soon enough they're off to work. He can feel the excitement radiating off of her as they drive into the station. She hasn't seen the rest of her co workers for two months, and he briefly clued her in as to how much they missed her, and he guesses that she missed them just as much. The one major thing accomplished on the way in is that they decide to keep what's going on between them, exactly that, between them. It's not that they're embarrassed or ashamed of what they have, but they realize that what they have is too new and too fragile to withstand the substantial outside forces they know will come their way.
With that decided, they step off the elevator in the one six the same way they have for years prior, completely in step and in sync. Only this time, it doesn't go unnoticed as it usually does. Olivia has been gone for two months, and seeing her walk into the precinct with her partner like nothing ever changed is an attention grabber. Four people take notice more than others. Fin and Munch immediately rush at her, pushing each other in order to get to her first. In the end, it's Fin and his bulky frame that wins out. He grabs her in a hug, and holds her for a minute, while checking Elliot's reaction to the embrace. Seeing no jealousy and nothing but acceptance he realizes just how far the scales have tipped in their relationship and smiles at the both of them. Refocusing on her, he holds her at arms length. "Welcome back, baby girl!"
Olivia gazes back at the man who she is just starting to realize has become one of her closest friends, and smiles back fondly. "It's great to be back, Fin. It's nice to see you all managed to not kill each other without me," she jokes.
Fin smiles back, "Yeah, well, Elliot's had a lot on his mind the last couple of months. It took all we had to get his head out of the clouds long enough to focus on what was going on down here. Never mind getting him in on our usual casual disagreements."
"Casual disagreements?" Munch objects, while grabbing Olivia away from his partner and giving her a hug. "It's not a casual disagreement when you constantly call me paranoid and delusional every day."
Olivia laughs as she pulls away from Munch. "It's not paranoia if they really are out to get you."
Hearing this, Munch grins widely. "This is why I missed you, Benson. You are fully aware of Big Brother's march against our personal rights. Stay strong, sister."
Olivia couldn't help it anymore as she burst out laughing as she took in the rest of the squad room. She saw Cragen overlooking her from the door to his office, as well as a woman with curly blonde hair glaring at her from her former desk. Realizing that this is Dani Beck, the woman who was brought in to replace her, and most likely hated her, she strode towards her, recognizing her as her biggest hurdle. As she extended her hand, she spoke in a warm voice, "You must be Detective Beck. I've heard a lot about you. I'm Olivia Benson."
The woman held her hand out to her, "Dani Beck. I've heard a lot about you as well." The sarcasm in that statement was far from unnoticed. It was clear to all within hearing range that Dani was not happy about the constant reminders of Olivia's presence. Thankfully, Olivia was spared any future awkwardness when Cragen called her into his office.
"I should probably ask what your intentions are, Detective." Cragen asked rhetorically.
"I want back in," Olivia resolutely responds. "This is my home, and this is where I belong, FBI be damned."
"Good, I feel the same way," Cragen responds. "Unfortunately, it may take me a couple weeks to find a new home for Detective Beck. I can take you back on a desk duty only assignment until I can restore order around here. Are you going to be OK with that?"
The Olivia Benson from the day before would have quailed before her Captain and possibly said no to the offer before her. This Olivia Benson knows better, and knows that Elliot loves her, and feels no threat from Dani Beck. "No, that's fine. I appreciate your efforts to get me back on the squad."
"This is your home, Olivia. We all know you had no choice in leaving. I'm not about to punish you for that." When Cragen said this, Elliot's comment about her being dad's favorite didn't seem so far off the mark.
They walked out into the bullpen, and all activity ceased. Fin was the one who broke the silence, "So when you coming back to us?"
She smiled at the honest anticipation she heard in his voice, "Soon enough. You'll feel like I never left."
It was Munch who spoke up next, "Well, how do we know you haven't gotten rusty in your absence?"
"Who says I let myself get rusty?" Olivia objected.
"Please, you were out chasing tree huggers, while we were out chasing rapists. Rusty much?" She knew Fin was joking, but she also saw the hidden challenge.
In response, she walked over to the main computer screen in the squad. She brought up the news coverage of the bust of the pedophile in Oregon. After it played out, she paused it, so that Dean Porter was front and center on the screen. "That is Dean Porter." She stated, somewhat angrily. "He was my handler for my op while I was in Oregon. When I became a suspect in the murder of Carl Dunford I became involved."
"Wait, you were the suspect in a murder? How far did you fall into the dark side, Benson?" Munch questioned.
"I never fell into the dark side," Olivia responded with a laugh. "They were after my group for a while, and when Dunford turned up murdered, the sheriff just happened to catch me as I bailed myself out to pull me back in to question me for it. I personally think the man had it in for me, which is why he singled me out."
It was Beck who was the first to call out, somewhat snidely. "Bail yourself out? What the hell else did you do while you were off the grid?"
Stopping briefly to shoot a glare at the woman she had never met, yet instantly hated, Olivia continued. "I had been arrested for assaulting a police officer." She paused here and pointed to her discolored forehead, "I was unarmed, and protecting another unarmed civilian. I got the shit beat out of me by a cop with a grudge. You try waking up cuffed to a hospital bed, and see how you like it!"
She could see all the men around her tense in rage upon hearing exactly how she received her injuries, Elliot included. For him, it served as a constant reminder as to how he failed to protect her. Munch, Fin and Cragen were all thinking relatively the same thing, but also anger in general at any cop who could beat an unarmed woman, and then lie that she was the one who hurt him. Detective Beck looked at her in near disbelief. From what everyone had told her about Olivia, she seemed to be some all sacrificing martyr. She never believed it to be true, thinking no one could be so selfless, and yet, as she stares at the woman she has long considered to be her nemesis, she realized that she was wrong. Olivia Benson really was the entire package that she was made out to be, and that thought finally cemented it to her. As soon as another place was found for her, she was going to be shipped out, and there was nothing she could do about it.
"So wait," Munch began. "You wake up cuffed to a bed, dragged into a police station to face charges of assaulting a police officer, then after you bail yourself out, you find yourself being questioned as a murder suspect. How the hell does that happen?"
"Well, apparently it wasn't only the FBI that had their eye on this group. When Dunford washed up, minus his, um, unit, they decided that the group I was with was the logical choice in a suspect."
Fin couldn't help himself, "How the hell do these cops go from a guy getting his junk chopped off to tree huggers?"
Olivia couldn't contain her chuckles. "Apparently since my group protested Dunford's company, and their dumping of chemicals, we made logical suspects." Upon seeing their bewildered looks, she continued, "They were dumping chemicals in rivers that were causing male fish to change gender. That's one of the main causes we were protesting."
Elliot couldn't help it, he burst out laughing. Seeing her glare, he explained himself. "Doesn't it seem funny that you, Olivia Benson, defender of transgender humans, suddenly find yourself a defender of transgender fish?"
Despite herself, Olivia can't keep herself from laughing. "I am apparently destined to never leave Special Victims behind."
"So, since we're not trying to get you out of a prison in Oregon, I assume everything worked out?" Munch questioned.
"Yeah, no one in my group was responsible, obviously." Everyone could detect a bit of sarcasm in that statement. "As soon as I saw the pictures, I tried to hint to the locals that it was a sex crime, but no one would listen to the crazy tree hugger-"
Olivia was interrupted by Munch's snort. "Now you really know how I feel." He was silenced by Olivia's glare.
"Anyway, no one took me seriously so I set out to investigate on my own. I found out from his ex wife that he was a pedophile, with a penchant for teenage girls. I found a cell hidden in his house, where it appeared he had kept a girl stashed for a long period of time, and there was a large pool of blood. I called the sheriff in, and he got pissed at me again, saying he had no idea what to charge me with anymore. The next day, there's my handler on national television taking credit for my work. He was pissed at me as well, it seems, since the sheriff made me for a cop. I really didn't give a damn anymore, all I wanted to do was get out of there." She paused for a second, looking down, slightly guilty. "By that point, Porter probably had already received Huang's note, but he didn't tell me about it. I wanted to find the missing girl, and he wanted my help, it seemed. We found her the next day, and it took me all night with her in an interview room to get the story out of her. She killed him because he wanted her to go out and find him another girl."
Olivia took a deep breath to center herself. "Only after I gave him what he wanted did he conveniently remember to give me Huang's note. I swear, I would have been on the first plane home had I known you guys needed me."
Cragen looked particularly mad when he found out how Olivia had been used by her so called handler, who wasn't doing that great a job considering the woman he was supposed to be watching got beaten by cops and arrested without him seeming to give a damn. However, his feelings towards this Porter aside, he quickly sought to reassure his obviously distressed detective. "We all know that, Olivia. We were just starting to get worried because you obviously hadn't gotten the message, and we didn't know why."
Olivia nodded, grateful for the support, but needing a change of subject. "So, since I'm on desk duty for the foreseeable future, where would you like me to set up?"
When she said this, everyone, minus Olivia, all glanced not so discreetly at Dani, obviously expecting her to give Olivia back her desk. But Dani decided to dig in her heels a bit, she wasn't gone yet, and she damn well was going to make that fact known, so she stayed resolutely silent. When it became obvious that she wasn't going to volunteer, thus making his life easy, Cragen sighed. "The desk to the left of Elliot is open, feel free to use that for now."
Olivia smiled to cover her disappointment over not getting to look up to see Elliot's caring blue eyes looking back at her whenever she wanted, and moved to start organizing her new (temporary, she insisted) desk.
Many hours of tedious paperwork and computer searches later, Elliot was finally at a good place to stop in his casework. He saw her look up hopefully when he stood, and saw her smile gratefully when he began gathering his things, preparing to leave. "You want a ride, Liv?" He questioned for the sake of appearances, seeing as how she had packed to stay at his place for a few days. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Dani glance up suspiciously, but she was the only one to take any notice of it. He refused to acknowledge her, still annoyed by her stubborn refusal to give up her desk to Olivia.
"Please, if I have to fill out one more DD5, I think I might go cross eyed." Olivia was nearly finished cleaning her work space when Elliot came up behind her, and offered her her coat. As she walked out, Olivia realized that as eager as she was that morning to return to work, she was even more eager to leave right then, looking forward to spending another night with Elliot.
The ride to his place was spent in comfortable silence. Both were still exhausted from their two months of insomnia due to her disappearance, and though it was an easy day, they were both looking forward to crawling into bed together. After a simple meal of pasta and a salad, that is precisely what they did. Climbing wearily into bed, Elliot leaned over and gave Olivia a sweet, sleepy kiss before murmuring, "Good night, Liv. I love you."
"Love you too, El." Olivia blearily responded. "Good night." With that, they were both soon peacefully asleep, completely wrapped around each other.
A/N- I am SOOO sorry about how long it took me to get this posted! It turns out that I couldn't stay where I was planning on staying after I left my sisters, and the place I wound up at also didn't have WiFi! I finally got internet access tonight, and I got it posted as soon as I could. This story never was, and never will be abandoned, as that is one of my all time biggest pet peeves! There are about one or two more chapters in the works, because in order to keep my mind occupied during a nine hour drive, I started dreaming up ideas on how to end this thing. Included is another M scene, which, if I can manage to translate it from my head to the computer, I think its gonna be awesome. So please stick with me, cause it might be a little while again until I can post, but like I said, it WILL get finished! And please, let me know what you think of this chapter :)
Song for this chapter: Insomniac by Billy Pilgrim. It's not a very well known song, but its AMAZING, so for those of you who like to keep track of the songs for this story, heres a video on YouTube of it being sung by the original singer, who is now in Sugarland... hope you give it a listen :)
youtube(dot)com /watch?v=U8Vu2bjjQkU