Rachel
I didn't realize until after he left that Agent Gavrillis never did say what was going on with Cal. I should have known something was up. When Dr. Bellmer came back after being gone for only 20 minutes, I knew whatever was up, it wasn't good.
She pulled up a rolling stool and sat by my bedside. Was there some rule that doctors couldn't deliver a diagnosis if their butts weren't planted on one of those? She took off her glasses and regarded me directly.
"Rachel, you were asking before about a diagnosis. Well, I am here to tell you what it is and answer your questions. You are suffering from a moderate case of retrograde amnesia. Specifically, you are suffering from loss of what's called episodic memory. Episodic memory is the memory of events from your own life, things like the name of your 3rd grade teacher or the color of your first car or the name of the first boy you kissed."
"Mrs. Jesson at Pinewood Elementary, blue and James Halliwell."
She smiled, a wide, genuine smile. "Very good. I wish I could remember that easily." But then her smile faded and she looked at me with that straight-on, no BS look again. "Here's the thing, Rachel. In your case, you are missing memories from a specific period of time. You woke up believing it is April 2007. You told me that you weren't sure about the day." She looked down at her clipboard for a minute. "It is not April 2007. In fact, today is November 12, 2010. It's a Friday."
She paused, looking at me expectantly. I realized my mouth was hanging open just a little and I shut it. Surely, this is not real. Then again, it would explain why this does not look like Walter Reed Hospital where I would have ended up had I been shipped to stateside if I'd been wounded in Kabul. It would also solve the mystery about why I couldn't find any wounds on my body. My mind then took off racing even as Dr. Bellmer started talking again. Had I had a mental breakdown? Did Cal get killed in front of me in Kabul and I lost it? Please, please, anything but that. I realized I'd missed some of what Dr. Bellmer was telling me.
"…ability to remember. When I came in before, I asked you about events from your past and current events and about what the last thing was that you remember, right?"
I nodded.
"It seems your memory loss is limited to a specific period of time between April 2007 and now. You are able to remember things that have happened since you woke up. You're able to remember things that occurred before the time period in question. Your memory loss appears to be limited to only this specific time period."
She stopped again and I stared at her. All I could think was that I didn't lose my marbles but that it's not all good news. I've lost something else – time. It's not April 2007 or even May or June as I have been thinking since I woke up yesterday. It's November 2010. I have lost memory. I am missing 3 and half years. I didn't know what to say.
And then it hit me. Of course. Cal and Mike and Finn had convinced her to prank me.
"Right, doc. Amnesia. Of course." I smirked a little to let her know I'd figured out the joke. I raised my voice to reach them in the hallway "Good one, guys! Just remember, payback is a bitch."
Knowing those three, they'd be hovering right outside my door trying hard not to laugh as they listened to the doctor deliver the punch line.
She looked at me levelly and said, "I understand that you might doubt this news. You might even think this is a joke. But I assure you, it's no joke, Rachel. You have amnesia. It is November 2010."
I was about to sass her again when she turned on the TV, flipped over to CNN and showed me the date stamp on the screen. November 12, 2010. Wait a minute. This was CNN. Mike can hack into computers with the best of them but cable TV? I didn't think even he was capable of spoofing a cable TV news feed. Dr. Bellmer flipped over to another channel where the anchors were talking about the stock market. There was a graph showing of a particular stock's price over the last 2 years. The axis of the chart was labeled with quarters in 2009 and 2010. She flipped to a third channel. This was one of those local government access channels. The caption read "Budgetary Review of Fiscal Year 2010". She pulled out her Blackberry pager and showed me the calendar app on it. Sure enough, November 12, 2010.
She was still talking but I wasn't hearing whatever she was saying. All I could think was how did I miss that? I must have flipped by CNN a dozen times since I woke up. I must have been more out of it that I thought. I realized then that the doctor had stopped talking and was looking at me with that "do you have any questions" look that doctors get.
What do you say to someone who has no reason to lie when they tell you you're missing the memory of more than 10% of your life?
"What happened to me? How did I lose my memory?"
"We're running tests to determine what happened. As I said, the chemical compound that caused your unconsciousness may be responsible for your memory loss. I don't have any details on where or how you were exposed. All I have in the notes is that you were on a case with the FBI. And we're doing chemical analysis of the substance while we keep running tests on you to make sure you're really all right. "
They're "running tests". Great. That's doctor-speak for "we don't have a clue so we're going to poke you until there's no blood left in your veins and take pictures of your insides until you glow".
"How long will the tests take?"
"About 36 hours."
"Okay." What else could I say? 'Go faster'?
"I understand that you're disoriented by this. For the moment, we're going to keep you here to monitor you and make sure you're not suffering any other effects. But you can get up, walk around, and most importantly, have visitors."
"I've already had visitors." But by the way she looked at me, I knew she meant someone else.
"I want you to spend some time with the people who were with you when you lost your memory. Being around them may help you recall the lost time."
"Oh-kay, doc." I was dubious. "Who are you talking about?"
"Dr. Hood and Agent Lee. You may remember Dr. Hood from after you woke up here. He slept on your couch for a couple of days. I don't know if you've seen Agent Lee since you woke. You couldn't miss him though. He's about 6 and a half feet tall and he never stops moving. I understand from them that they were with you when you lost your memory. They should be able to fill in some of the details about how everything happened. I believe Dr. Hood will be back soon."
"Sure." Sure, why not? Spend time with people who knew me. How could that be a bad thing, right? At least someone would be able to tell me what the hell had happened.
"I will be back to check on you tomorrow morning, Rachel. If you have any questions, have Dr. Hood give me a call. He's got my number."
And with that, she put her hand on my shoulder, smiled at me and was out the door.
Dr. Hood.
The name did not sound familiar.
Agent Lee.
Nope, not familiar. This could be awkward. But then again, they probably already knew that I didn't remember them. No need to dance about the facts.
I tried for a good ten minutes to remember something, anything about being on assignment with these people. How long had I been working with them? Were they on my team? Was this a onetime thing? Dr. Bellmer did say that Dr. Hood had slept on my couch for several days. Didn't seem like something you'd do for a person if you didn't know them well.
Damn. They knew me and I didn't remember them. I closed my eyes. And heard the sound of footfalls approaching my door. I opened my eyes and saw the man from my couch – must be Dr. Hood – come in.
Time to find out what the hell had happened. I snapped into agent mode – betray nothing, eyes flat, shoulders dropped, hands ready to draw a weapon.
He looked at me, this Dr. Hood, opened his mouth to speak and froze.
So here we are, staring at each other.