Jacob

She sat on the bed and stared at me.

I stood in the door and stared at her.

I realized after a few seconds that my mouth was open and I hadn't said a word. I suddenly felt like I was 15 again and asking Sara Calvert to the prom. It took all I had to remind myself that Sara had said yes.

Focus, Jacob.

"Hello, Rachel. I am Jacob. We work together. Dr. Bellmer told me about your memory loss and I expect you have questions."

I could almost hear the quick, ruthless threat assessment logic surging in her mind, evaluating all possible outcomes. She evaluated only a moment before she came to some decision.

"Are we partners?"

"Not quite. You are the agent assigned to my protection detail. You are my FBI liaison. "

Her eyes widened a little and then narrowed again quickly as she swept her gaze quickly down my body and back up again.

"How long have I been assigned to you?"

"Two years, two months, four days."

She'd dropped her chin and was simply staring at me. Hard. I remember this from when she was first assigned to protect me. Silence is a weapon, she'd once told me.

"My title is Special Science Advisor to the FBI. I am a biophysicist. The Director asked me to consult for the Bureau on cases that need scientific investigation outside the forensic domain."

Whatever she thought, nothing showed on her face.

"What was I exposed to and how?"

"The chemical analysis is not complete. It is due back in a few…"

"What do you think it is?"

I recognize this tactic. This was one of the bulldog tactics I'd seen her use to great effect on suspects. Push them. Don't let them answer at their own pace. Make them rush to answer the question so they have less time to think up a lie. It was a power play. And last time we'd done this, it took weeks before she was willing to give even a fraction of an inch. I knew she was disoriented and off balance but this behavior managed somehow to poke me in a way that I didn't like. I decided to take my time and took a seat on the couch where I'd spent much of the last few days sleeping. After I'd sat down, I looked at her straight on before I spoke.

"We raided a drug lab. We believed it was the source of street drugs that had shown up at a local university. We thought the drug we were looking for might be a derivative of PCP or a second generation knockoff of X-tasy. But the substance you were exposed to was neither of those. So far, all we know is that it is chemically similar to Rohypnol. It's possible the chemical was engineered to produce memory loss. It figures into the case we're working on."

"Which is?"

"We're trying to find out what happened to a young man who attacked a U.S. senator. The young man is a college student named James Rye, aged 19. Mr. Rye claims not to remember anything after attending a party on campus at Rutgers University several nights ago. We had found that an unknown street drug was in use at the party. We'd traced the drug source to a lab. When we raided the lab, you were alone in a sealed room when you knocked a canister off a table. It broke and you were exposed the contents. You became unconscious immediately. We didn't know about the memory loss until you woke up. "

"How many days ago was that?"

"Four days."

For the first time since I'd entered the room, she looked away from me. She looked out the window for a moment. I could tell she was in a tenuous spot. To trust or not? I decided to press a little more, give her something else to consider.

"Felix will be here in a little while. I think he's back at the hotel taking a shower. He's doing a lot of work on the case online too. We're making some progress."

She raised her eyes to me again and the look this time was not steely, not hard. It was blank.

"Agent Felix Lee. He is an agent who often assists us with investigations. He is not permanently assigned to me as you are but he's proven to be very tenacious and resourceful. He'll be here in about 2 hours. He's running down some leads from the lab sweep."

She looked almost haunted for a moment. "How well do we know each other?"

"I believe you met Felix for the first time about 7 months ago on his first assignment with us."

"Not…Felix. How well do you and I know each other?"

"I'd have to say pretty well. We have spent 677 of the last 774 days in each other's company. You've saved my life several times. I know I have more faith in your ability to keep me safe than any other agent who's ever been assigned to me."

Her mouth twitched a little and she raised her eyebrows the smallest fraction.

"So we work …well together. And we spend a lot of time together."

It wasn't a question. She was being uncharacteristically obtuse. She looked at me as if her will alone could pull something from me that she could recognize. I decided that she might feel somewhat reassured if she could recognize herself through my eyes.

"We do. And I've come to know some things about you in that time, Rachel. You love fried eggs over medium and sausage for breakfast but you eat oatmeal most of the time because you know it's better for you. You wear your gun in a holster on your belt on your right side or when you're not wearing a belt, in the small of your back tucked into the waistband of your pants. I've never been able to figure out why the handle faces your left hand when you do that. You like licorice. You drink cheap Scotch and expensive Barolo. You have a scar on your right knee from a fight you had when you were seven. You're very proud of the fact that you pinned the neighbor boy using a move your dad taught you. You didn't go to your prom because Ken Moran asked Lisa Turner instead of you and it made you cry."

It was clear she was uncomfortable with me knowing about her but not knowing much of anything about me. But this had to be at her pace. So I stopped there and waited to see what she'd do with that much information.

"So I've shared all that with you. What about you? Biophysics?"

"Biophysics. I also did research in quantum mechanics. And the good news is that that is exactly the same look you had on your face the first time I told you that."

I smiled at her and she finally cracked the smallest of smiles.

"Did I ever understand what you're talking about when you talk science…stuff?"

"You told me once that beyond the chemistry of gunpowder, you'd leave the science stuff to me. But I never believed you when you said you didn't understand. I think you were just trying to make me feel better about not being able to shoot worth a damn."

She smiled again, that slight smile that I recognized as her trying to make up her mind.

"How bad?"

"I've managed to not shoot myself or anyone else. So far. You keep telling me that I need to use the weapon I carry with me all the time and leave the guns to you."

She raised her eyebrows and pulled a quizzical look.

I tapped my temple.

She smiled again. "Ah." Her smile dimmed a little. "So we've spent the last 2 years working together. And the doctor said it's 2010. And I am missing memory of 3 years and 7 months."

"Yes."

"Did I ever tell you about my tour in Kabul?"

"Not really. You mentioned it to potential witness once and it was the first I'd heard of it."

"So you can't fill me in on what happened during the time I can't remember."

"Sorry, no. But I bet Felix can find your service record. He can find water in the Sahara."

Felix's sense of impeccable timing struck at that moment as he came through the door like the Valkyries were on his tail. He started talking immediately as if nothing had changed at all.

"We have a lead on our chemist, Dr. Hood."

"You have a lead on his location?"

"Yes. Special Agent Munson is lead and he specifically wants you there as soon for the capture. He's concerned about a repeat of… He doesn't want anyone exposed again."

"I see." I looked at Rachel. She had a longing look on her face. Her longing to go after Pepper was palpable. Even with tubes strung in her arms and no idea what had happened to her memory, she was ready to go.

"Not we, Dr. Hood. Just you." Felix was being very deliberate. "Munson asked the Director specifically for you. And apparently the Director he said he'd make sure you have a temporary executive protection detail."

I turned back to Rachel and raised my eyebrows. "Felix can stay with you. You can ask him all about our time together and all the cases he's worked with us. That should be quite entertaining."

Felix flashed his excited grin, the one that made you realize he really was born to find the obscure and handle the mundane.

"Of course. I can tell you all about Dr. Hood getting covered in sheep love potion on our last case." His expression morphed into a fusion of enthusiasm and innocence.

I turned back to Rachel. I think she was not happy about my leaving but I wouldn't swear to it. It might have been just the idea that she wasn't going on the hunt. The look on her face was hungry. She wanted out.

"I will be back as soon as I can. Felix, just remember that you're not the only one with stories."

Felix gave me his usual departure send off. "Stay safe, doc."

Rachel replied with her usual rejoinder. "Listen to your liaison."

I stared at her for a moment in surprise. She almost always said those exact words to me when I was handed off to another liaison. It had only happened 4 times since she'd been assigned to me. But still. Maybe things were coming back to her.

"Like they knew the last digit of pi."

And with that, I left the room. As I rounded the corner by the nurses' station, I heard Felix's distinctive laugh.

I hoped she was coming back to us. Hell, never mind us. I hope she was coming back to herself because once she did, she'd come back to me.