Chapter Eleven: Goodbyes
Gibbs finished walking up the stairs and walked over to Ziva's apartment door. He had made it a point to check on her each morning and follow her in his car to work. He knew Ziva needed someone to support her and help her. Even though she wouldn't admit it.
He tapped his knuckles on the door lightly. Then dropped his hand to his side and waited patiently as he heard Ziva moving around inside. When she opened the door Gibbs wasn't ready for what he saw. Ziva was torn. Not just emotionally but it was showing physically too. Her hair was still a mess, her eyes were red and puffy from crying. The only thing that wasn't messed up was her outfit. A black blouse and black slacks, paired up with her black business heels.
"Sorry Gibbs." She sniffed. "I am almost ready." She stepped back so he could come in.
Gibbs walked in and wrapped her in a hug, "it's okay Zivers." He whispered smoothing her hair back. He kissed the side of her head rubbing her back. "It's okay."
Ziva sniffed trying to keep her tears away. "I just feel as if it is my fault we are doing this today."
Gibbs knew how the young woman felt. He knew she missed her partner, especially with her feeling it was her fault he was gone. "It's going to be alright." He soothed. "Go finish getting ready. We still have plenty of time." He kissed her forehead and used a thumb to brush a tear away for the woman he was seeing as a daughter.
Ziva nodded. "Thank you Gibbs." She quickly went to the bathroom and finished getting ready, washing her face plenty of times to help with the red and swollen-ness of her eyes.
Gibbs sat and patiently waited. He too, was dressed in all black. No one was ready for today. They were saying final goodbyes and burying their friend. Their fallen family member.
A few moments later Ziva came out and took a deep breath. "Ready Gibbs."
Gibbs got up. "Lets go." He smiled a comforting smile to the young agent. She looked better than she had a few moments ago but he still saw the empty look in her eyes. It was one he would never get used to. He already missed the young, lively, teasing Ziva. And it had just been two weeks.
(At the Cemetery)
Ziva stepped out of her car. Tears wanting to fill her eyes as she grabbed the rose she was going to place on Tony's grave. It seemed surreal. She half expected Tony to be there. Tugging her hair playfully or messing it up. She wished she could hear the loving "Probette" he'd usually call her. Or even see the charming smile he'd give whenever she was upset with him.
Gibbs walked over from his car and put a supportive hand on her back, "you ready?"
Ziva nodded and they walked towards the NCIS family who had all gotten the day off to say goodbye. Tony was apart of a huge family and had impacted so many. It was a nightmare to the whole family that he was gone.
Ziva froze seeing DiNozzo Sr. "Gibbs. I cannot do this. It is my fault his son is gone." A tear fell down her cheek. The first of many for that day.
Gibbs looked at her, "he doesn't blame you Zivers. He knows that T-" He couldn't say the name, "he knows that its part of the job."
Ziva nodded and took a deep breath to gain the confidence she needed. Then slowly she walked over again.
McGee, Ducky, and Abby were by the older DiNozzo, talking with the gentleman about their memories of Tony.
"Yeah. I remember when he and Ziva super glued my fingers to my keyboard." McGee chuckled. There was no humor in his voice.
Abby tried to smile. It was a tearful one, "that was all Tony's doing."
At the mention of his name everyone around became silent. No one was used to him being gone. No one would ever get used to him being gone.
(After the little ceremony thing; I know lots of jumping. I'm sorry)
Ziva's P.O.V.
Gibbs called my name and I looked over, "you ready Zivers?"
I shook my head. "I need to say-" I paused. I couldn't say goodbye. Could I? If I did, that meant he was gone. Forever. I couldn't do that. "I need to do something."
Gibbs nodded understandingly. "Abs, McGee, and I will wait for you."
I nodded my thanks then walked over to the headstone that marked where Tony's body was. This was just a dream. It had to be! Any moment Tony would walk over and hug me, or pull my hair, or something! Anything! He couldn't be gone! He wasn't! I wouldn't believe it!
But as I kneeled by the tombstone, and brushed my fingers over the words, I knew in my heart it was real.
"Anthony DiNozzo. Friend, Son, Co-worker, family to many. You will be missed and loved greatly. 1975-2011." (A/N:I just made up the date he was born since I don't know.)
I stared at the words engraved on the marble stone. They became engraved into my mind and slowly were becoming engraved in my heart. He was gone. Nothing would bring him back. Nothing.
"Oh Tony." I whispered. At his name a tear rolled down my cheek and fell into the soft dirt that covered him. In a few months time, it'd be soft luscious green grass. "I wish I could trade places with you." At this point, I didn't care that anyone saw me. I missed Tony. I leaned further down and rested my head against the cold marble. Tears rolling down my cheeks.
"Tony." I sobbed. "Please come back. I am so sorry I wasn't quick enough. Please Tony. Please." My pleading wouldn't bring him back, but I had to. Something had to work here. It couldn't end like this! I needed Tony! I needed to hear the consistent teasing, the laughter. I needed to see him everyday across the bullpen, smiling that stupid smile.
"Oh Tony, please come back. I'll trade places with you just please." I sobbed unable to finish the thought. He was gone.
Slowly I sat up straighter and wiped my tears away. "I will surely miss you Tony. There is never going to be someone who could even come close to you." I set the rose against the marble and ran my fingers over the engraved words once again. "Goodbye Tony. I will never forget you." I closed my eyes to take a deep breath then slowly got up and made my way back to Gibbs, McGee, and Abby.
Abby wrapped her arms around me in her tightest hug yet. She held me close and at that moment, I could care less how tightly she held me. Or who held me.
I hugged Abby back in an equally tight hug and we closed our eyes and cried for a moment together. Nothing was going to be the same, but with Abby's crushing hugs, maybe they could keep a little of the pain at ease.
Gibbs' P.O.V.
I watched Abby and Ziva hug and knew that the girls were probably the most affected by DiNozzo's death. I didn't know about McGee but I knew he missed Tony too. It was obvious in his work over the past few days. He was quiet. More then normal. He rarely smiled like he did. But the thing I noticed the most, was he was watching the girls and I just knew that Tony's last request for him was to take care of them.
I glanced over at Tony's grave. Ziva's rose that rested on the tombstone was lonely. But it was there for Tony. Just like Ziva was always going to be there for him. At once I felt grief flood over me. My hand was gonna get a good break now. Without DiNozzo to slap. Life in the bullpen was going to be a hell of a lot different.
Goodbye DiNozzo. It won't be the same without you kid.
A/N: Okay so this is where I'll end this chapter. I think I'll do one more. And it will be a serious time jump. One year. It'll show how the team got along without Tony and talk about the new agent. Thank you all so much for your reviews and faithful reading. I never expected this many! Thank you all once again, and it's a good thing that this is only fiction and we got our DiNozzo on the show huh? Well until next time, please review, fav, or just read and wait. Thank you all so much once again!