Chapter 2: Annual Two: January to February
(Author's Note: text in brackets are the equivalent of strike-throughs)

January 16

Dear Mr. Cain,

Now that I've had almost a month to recover, I guess the Christmas ball wasn't so bad. You're right about it being less of a family affair than before. They've gotta marry me off and all that jazz. And every ball is a new opportunity, right?

Gag me with a spoon. And a real spoon, please. Anything to rescue me from the nightmare future my brain is trying to paint for me. I'm sure it won't be all that bad. I [just thought I'd]

Yeah, anyway, the ball. Yes Jayson with a Y was there with his dad and his brother and still-sorta-new sister-in-law. At least that's how he put it to me. He seemed kinda eager to get away from them all, too. He ended up spending most of his time with me and Glitch and Martricia. Do you remember Marty? She worked with Glitch in his lab? I swear she is probably the only person more dangerous than me in that lab. And yet she was hired for the spot, while I all but get a boot in my rear whenever I get near a lab. So Marty hasn't destroyed several lab experiments in a row and caused forced baldness. Glitch's eyebrows are nearly as thick as they were this time last year before The Incident.

Anyway, talking about Jayson. He looked neat and put together. I won't tell you who designed and hand-tailored his suit or anything because then you'll fall asleep. (And how scary is it that I know and care about these things? Clearly my sister is rubbing off on me.) [Which would be bad.] I will tell you that he was kind enough to actually wear a suit and not one of those crazy get-ups that really should be banned from the OZ entirely, but Mother won't because she's nice and doesn't care so long as no one shows up naked. Yeah, I know you've heard this gripe. Glitch looked great too, by the way. He really cleans up well. It's the only time I really want to call him Ambrose. Not that he doesn't look good other times. But with the war over and stuff he gets to spend more time tinkering and less time advising. Which means more time looking Glitchy and less time looking Ambrose-y. So it's easy to forget about Ambrose. I don't know, he'll always be Glitch to me, Ambrose or not.

So I looked great. Again, not that you care, but Azkadellia is hovering and she insisted that I mention it. And if I have to mention that, then I should point out that she all but picked out the dress. No matter what she tells you in this supposed letter of hers that she is going to send out on her own. (Not that I believe her for a second. Seriously, Cain, I'm worried about Az. More than just the death threats and stuff, which I'm sure are still happening even if Dad and Captain Adderton aren't telling us anymore. But she's just so…I don't know. Anti-social isn't the word. Non-social? Shunned? That's more like it. I mean Az was the complete belle of the ball, as we'd say back on the Otherside. As Dad and the Mominator and Popsicle put it, actually. Really drop dead, make-me-look-like-the-ugly-duckling-playing-dress-up, gorgeous. And she could barely get a nod of recognition. Okay, so there was more than that because she is still a Princess of the Realm and all that, but not anything more than what protocol demands from so so so many people. Our own servants were nicer. 'Course when you were here you made sure all of them were on the up and up, so that makes sense, but still. I can probably count on both hands which nobles were honestly nice/polite to her and have fingers left over. And that's not counting people like Jayson who are friends, y'know? Anyway…)

So despite the marriage-mart feel, I still managed to spend a lot of my time with Marty and Glitch and Jayson. Not enough, though. Don't know why Dad's taken it upon himself to be the one to make sure I go and "mingle" with all the suitable bachelors. I figure, though, they won't try anything too bad since they know he's watching. And mostly I've been right, which is why I left my pistol in my drawer. Yes, seriously, in my drawer. And Shane and Terry-Anne are never far doing their best to be intimidating. I'm still not sure how Shane does it. Terry-Anne, sure. She small and bull-dog-ish and looks like she can rip your throat out with her pinky.

Terry-Anne just walked by, so I asked her if she can rip a guy's throat out with her pinky. She said she could, but she preferred to use her middle finger because it's longer and gets a better grip! Hee! You bodyguard types. So funny with your impossible feats of guardianship. Cause she was totally joking, right Cain? Right. Uh huh.

Anyway, Shane doesn't look scary. Not that she's much taller than me or Terry-Anne, but she's more, ahem, girly looking. Less of the hardened bull dog look that Terry-Anne has (though I've seen her feet and the calluses on her hands and they're just as broken-in looking as any working man's) but she does this thing with her eyes that can stop someone getting a touchy-feely notion at fifteen paces. Love them. Plus, they've stuck it out with me for two year. If that's not real strength then I don't know what is.

Can I tell you Mom and Dad were just… I still don't know how I feel about them. I know we've hashed this out before, too. I almost kinda envy you and Jeb. Sure you both thought the other was dead, which is really and truly awful. I'm not trying to [smallerize that] make that a small thing, cause it was horrible. But at least you knew he was your son and he knew you were his dad, no matter what horrible things happened to you. To me the Mominator and Popsicle are really Mom and Dad and- Well you know. But the longer I know them, or re-know them or whatever, and the more time I spend with them, especially with Mom and all this Queen-prep stuff, the more I just plain old like them. Exactly like you said I would. My memory's still swiss cheese, but we're all trying really hard. Don't ask me why this is somehow easier with Azkadellia. Maybe because I didn't have a replacement sister on the Other Side? Maybe all that time I was really wanting or looking for that connection, and now that I have her it's all fixed in my head, but with the parents the connection was "fixed" because I had Mominator and Popsicle. I dunno.

You know I really meant for this letter to be all about the ball and crazy stuff Glitch and Marty got into. Like I how I called Martricia "Tricia" once, just to try it out, and she spun around and around going "Where? Where?" Apparently Marty is a twin! She's girl-girl fraternal, and her sister's name is Patricia. And since they're named after their parents, Martin and Tracy, and Marty's the oldest by three minutes, she got the Marty and her sister got the Tricia! Just one of the many and strange tidbits I was planning on sharing with you, only to do this instead.

Until next letter then? I mean I could write more and I would write more, but somehow Tutor figured out that this is not in fact an official letter to one of the regions, but a personal letter to a distant friend. He's freakishly uncanny that way.

Suddenly Caught Out There,

DG

P.S. Don't worry about, y'know, everything. We'll get it worked out next year.

2/2

DG,

Just letting you know I got the novel. Winter's come hard round here. Got me and Jeb busy keeping ourselves dug out, Amelie comfortable, and helping out where we can. I keep thinking 'bout Carl and Leanne, the kids we sold the old place to. If it's hard here, it's worse there. Leanne wasn't too far along, so that's a blessing. Spring won't be kind.

Wish I had better advice for Azkadellia. Wish I could say folks would stop seein' the Sorceress and start seein' the Princess. Just never know, Kid. Folks've got long memories when they've been hurt, and the Sorceress hurt'em bad. Hurt Azkadellia too, but they don't want to see that. Some will. Some already do.

Here's a teaser for you, then I gotta get back to working. Shane? She's a triplet. And her brother and sister work for the royal family. Bet you'll never guess where. And you can't ask Shane. Nor tell her you know. Though I bet that last will be harder for you than figuring out who her people are.

My best to all your parents, Glitch, Azkadellia and the guards crazy enough to take you on. Raw come round your way yet?

-Cain