I'm going to post an "epilogue" of sorts after this, but the story is pretty much done. Enjoy!

Chapter 2: Soul

Thunder cracked not far in the distance, jolting Alana awake. She blinked a few times, trying to get her bearings. The lightning lit up the cave they were in, casting eerie shadows on the wall. The cave… The rain… The endless running that had made up her life for the past month. Everything had come crashing down with the destruction of the Chantry, including her world. And one by one, her friends had left to pursue their own lives. She didn't blame them, seeing as how they had risked everything to help her in the first place. But after being with them for six years, she'd come to think of them as family, to replace the true family she had slowly lost. "Useless dwelling on it," she said to herself, before she realized she was actually alone in the cave. Well, aside from Niko, who was still sleeping noisily by the remains of the fire. She sat up, trying to see amid the flashes of light. "Anders?" she called out. Nothing. Grumbling, Alana quickly put her boots on, grabbed her staff, and threw her cloak around her shoulders. She peeked out of the cave, feeling the rain lash into her as the wind whipped up. It reminded her of the night Anders had collapsed outside her home… "Anders!" she yelled into the storm, quickly scanning the area.

"Yes?" he asked, making her jump a bit. He was leaning against the mouth of the cave, not bothering to cover himself as the rain soaked into his clothes. Those damn black clothes that she had teased him about looking like he was going to a funeral. How ironic that had been, in part. She noticed that he looked tired, which wasn't surprising. Neither had been sleeping well recently, but when Anders did manage to rest, he often woke up from a nightmare; either screaming or just trying to catch his breath.

"What are you doing out here?" she demanded, one hand on her hip as she leaned on her staff for a moment, calming her racing heart.

"Enjoying the storm." She stared at him in confusion, the last bits of sleep chased from her mind.

"You couldn't enjoy it from inside? Where's it dry?" He didn't answer, just turned his face up to the sky, eyes closed. "Anders, you're really starting to worry me."

"Starting to?" he asked, not changing position. "I'd have thought the destruction of the Chantry would've done it, not me standing in the rain."

"I…" She had no words, and he knew it. They had never really spoken about that day; she hadn't wanted to. So much death, all to try and change what had been going on in Thedas for countless Ages. She had spared his life that day for a number of reasons, not the least bit of which had been that she could not bring herself to raise a weapon to him. He had practically begged her to kill him; to end everything so that those he'd killed could have justice. But where was his? Or hers, for that matter? Didn't they deserve something for all they had tried to do up to that point? Alana remembered what Anders had first said about justice, though he'd been referring more to the Spirit.

'Since when is Justice happy? Justice is righteous. Justice is hard.' Those words had stayed with her, and they seemed to be the excuse for the actions Anders sometimes took. And what he'd said to Orsino after the Chantry was destroyed… 'I removed the chance of compromise, because there is no compromise. There can be no peace.' No, there had been no peace for any of them since running from the city following the death of the Knight Commander. Not that Alana had been sad to see Meredith's life end, as she'd brought it on herself with that blasted lyrium…

"I'm sorry," Anders voice broke her out of contemplation, and she looked over at him. He was still leaning against the rocks, but now he was facing her, looking sad and confused. "I'm sorry," he said again, voice so soft she barely heard him over the rain. "You're worried about me, and I'm making light of it. Everyone else left, but you're still here. Still being my light. You have no idea how much that means to me."

"Well, your light would like you to come in out of the rain and try to sleep," she told him, reaching out a hand. He took it, and she pulled him back into the cave, grabbing an extra blanket on her way back to her bedroll. "Get out of those clothes and put them by the embers to dry." Anders obeyed, changing into his older pants and shirt, which she much preferred over the black.

"What woke you?" he asked when they were both settled again.

"The thunder. It's different when you're outside, even in a cave. It just sounds more fierce, more dangerous."

"Says the woman who can shoot lightning at people."

"Only those who don't get the hint when I launch a fireball at them," she retorted, putting an arm around his waist. He put a hand over hers, sighing contentedly.

"Alana-"

"We are going to talk about what happened in Kirkwall, Anders," she warned him. "But not tonight."

"Do you regret anything?" he asked after a minute of silence on their part. The thunder cracked louder, the storm getting worse.

"I do have regrets, but none that involve you," she promised. "What about you?"

"I always have regrets… But not about you. Not about us. I'd never be able to do this on my own. I guess I'm still a coward."

"No, you aren't," she argued, trying to turn him over with some gentle tugging. He finally relented, and she saw the sadness in his eyes as he thought of that day. She always knew when he was reliving what had happened: There was a palpable sense of sadness and despair that always twisted her insides and broke her heart. If only there was a way to make everything all right again, or at least convince him it would all be all right. "It took great courage to do what you did."

"I killed people," he said flatly.

"You started a revolution," she retorted. "I'm not saying it was perfect, but it was the only thing you could think of."

"Are you still mad that I lied to you about the potion?" The potion, she'd originally been told, was to separate him from Justice. However, it had been the very thing to cause the Chantry to literally vaporize. Anders had lied about it, to her face, because he'd been afraid she would've wanted to help him set it all up. He'd been very adament that this all fall on him. But she knew that his shoulders weren't broad enough to handle the full weight of what had occurred that day, and little by little it tore him apart.

"I got over that," she told him, hoping he would believe it. Would she have helped him with his plan if she'd known? The Maker knew, but He certainly wasn't about to descend from the heavens and tell her. It wasn't anything that was worth dwelling on now, anyway. "Just get some sleep, okay?"

"Okay." He settled down, and she watched him drift off, his body relaxing slightly. These were the moments she cherished now: When there was no tension in him, and he was at peace. She would fight the rest of her life for these times if need be, against any and all obstacles. And one was still out there, she knew. It was hunting for them, having promised to show them "the true meaning of justice". Alana snaked her arm around Anders again, pulling him as close as she could.

"You will not take him from me, Sebastian," she vowed. "By the flames, if I have to kill you myself, I will not lose Anders any more than I have."

Alana looked around, confused. She was in the Fade, that much she could tell with the scenery appearing to undulate like she was under the water. Currently, she was in a field of flowers, their colors bleeding into each other to form one continuous rainbow. The sky was swirling with blue-tinged clouds, and she felt uneasy. She normally wasn't completely aware while she dreamt, so this was a little odd, to say the least. "Hello?" she called out. There was no answer except the flowers swaying in a breeze she couldn't feel. "Is anyone out there?" She took a step forward, and her shadow lengthened in front of her. Alana fixed her gaze on it, until she realized that it was waving at her! "Maker!" she shouted, scrambling back. The shadow picked itself off the ground and "faced" her. "Begone demon!" The shadow seemed bothered, and its head shook back and forth, as if trying to deny something. "I said leave me be! I want nothing you offer!" Faster than she could register though, it grabbed for her hand. When it touched her, she saw actual pale fingers curl around her wrist, and the shadow shifted to look like a human child, golden hair loose to her waist. The spirit was wearing a white frock, and her eyes burned the blue of lyrium, like when Justice manifested through Anders.

"Forgive me," it said, sounding much like a lost little girl. "I didn't mean to startle you. I just wanted to meet you; to see you."

"What are you?" Alana asked, voice soft.

"A spirit. One that normally keeps hidden. But I have seen you, and heard the anguish in your soul."

"What do you know of my soul?" The words were angry, and the spirit pulled back, looking upset.

"I know you wish to help someone you care about. I know that you are bothered by the fact that you are not a healer."

"What of it?"

"I can help-"

"I told you, I want nothing you offer. I have seen what spirit possession does, and I want no part of that." Alana turned her back to the spirit, but it just floated around her, hair trailing behind it like a cape.

"I am different than Him. Or at least, I should be. Please, consider it, is all I ask." Alana felt herself being pulled from the Fade, and knew she was waking up.

"What is your name, spirit?" It smiled, and everything seemed suddenly warmer.

"I am Hope. Call to me if you change your mind. I will answer." Alana sat bolt upright, gasping. Her heart thudded in her chest, and her palms were sweating. Anders was up a moment later, holding her tightly.

"What's wrong? What happened?" he asked, concern clear in his voice. Even Niko padded over, rubbing his head against hers, offering his own support.

"Nothing," she said after a few minutes, her breathing still heavy. "Just a bad dream." She hugged Anders, closing her eyes and trying to get the spirit's words out of her mind. Nothing good could come of her taking the offer. But really, what was the spirit actually offering? She hadn't thought to ask that… No, it was better not to know, that way she wouldn't be tempted. But the words Hope had said… It almost sounded like it knew about Justice and Anders. Could that be true? Alana quickly shook her head, pushing all thoughts out. "We should eat and then go," she said, pulling back. "We still have a while before we reach Ferelden, and Orlais isn't exactly the safest place right now." Rather than risk getting a boat, they'd decided to walk around the Waking Sea, which Alana was beginning to regret. And now they were in the middle of the country that played host to The Divine Herself. She wanted out of here as fast as her legs could carry her, and Anders wasn't arguing the point. They were headed for one of the Circles here, to see how far the rebellion had spread, and find out if any other apostates needed help getting away.

"All right," he agreed, starting to pack up the bedrolls. Alana grabbed dried rations, made sure their water skins were filled with the rain from last night, and put her cloak on. Both mages grabbed their packs and staffs, and Niko carried a bag as well as they stepped into the sunshine. Rain glistened on everything, making the world seem a bit brighter. As they walked, Alana remained deep in thought about her Fade encounter. "What's wrong?" Anders finally asked. She looked over at him, and he seemed sad again.

"Sorry, I'm just still a bit shaken by that dream."

"I thought maybe you were still upset from last night."

"What, about your comment while you were in the rain?" He nodded, and she sighed heavily. "I told you we'd talk about the events in Kirkwall. I just… I really don't know what to say."

"Why didn't you kill me?" He stopped walking, and she turned to face him, eyes wide. Anders was looking everywhere but at her, his shoulders slumped. "I deserve to die for what I did, you know that-"

"You do not!" she shouted, and he looked up, startled by the ferocity in her voice. "Yes, you killed the Grand Cleric. Yes, you also killed whatever people were in the Chantry at the time, some of them completely innocent of this whole affair. You swore that Justice didn't make you do it, and that this was what would force Thedas to change. You accepted the blame completely, and never once claimed you were innocent. You hadn't told me because you were afraid I would want to help, or possibly try and stop you. Everything that happened that day was on your head, and you knew without a doubt that you should pay for what you did." Anders stood there, listening to her rattle off everything he had said and implied that day like he was hearing a judge tell him his crimes before sentencing him. "But I did not kill you, nor did I let anyone else. I told you to fight with us; to protect the mages of the Circle that Meredith wanted to kill for what you did. And you did just that. And then we left Kirkwall, so that no one else would try and take revenge on you." Her voice cracked, and she could feel the tears pressing hotly on her eyes, but she kept going. "I couldn't stand the thought of losing you, Anders. You mean everything to me. I may not agree with what you did, but I know why you did it. I was never in a Circle, never forced to obey a Templar simply because it was the way of things. My parents risked everything to keep Bethany and myself safe from that life. I saw what happened to Karl, and knew that it was the worst thing that could ever be done to a mage. I saw Meredith become more and more tyrannical, and knew she needed to be stopped. And we stopped her, and Thedas has started to change. I wanted you to see all that." She moved to him, forcing his chin up with her fingers, meeting his eyes. "But the real reason? I was the coward. I could never hurt you, Anders, much less kill you. Even if Andraste herself ordered it, I would never be able to raise my hand against you."

"You're not a coward," he whispered, running a hand down her cheek. "I pushed it on you, because I thought you would do what was best. And you did, but not how I had intended. I wanted the release of death, because it's what I convinced myself that I deserved. But… It's more of a justice that I have to live with what I did, and try and make whatever amends I can. And by helping mages across Thedas, and being with you… I can pay my debt. I know you don't understand why, but at least you're still with me. Everyone else is gone: They've paid their debts. So have you, but you still stay."

"You have me until death," she said softly, the tears starting to slip down her cheeks. "And I'm not going without a fight." He kissed her tears away, and they embraced, gaining comfort from each other. "Ready to continue?" Alana asked after a few minutes. She didn't want to end the moment, but they did need to keep moving.

"Ready to move forward," he replied, taking her hand. She looked at their intertwined fingers, and the spirit's words again came back to her.

"Anders, other than Justice, have you ever met a benevolent Fade Spirit?" He thought for a moment, but then shook his head.

"I've heard of them, but never met any. One of the Senior Enchanters at the Ferelden Circle was supposed to have had a connection to a Spirit of Faith. No one has ever seen one of them, but Wynne insisted the Spirit aided her healing magick."

"They can do that?"

"Of course. Some spirits are more connected to certain types of magick, and can bolster any spells of that type if properly summoned. I know Wynne wasn't a blood mage, so maybe she had something similar to my merge with Justice?"

"You mean she had a Faith Spirit in her soul?"

"It's possible," he said with a shrug. "I didn't get a chance to talk to her about it before I left Ferelden. The Hero told me about a few incidents though, and she said the Spirit was a huge help to them when things looked grim." He looked over, a puzzled expression on his face. "Why do you ask?"

"Just curious. I know demons are usually the ones looking to possess humans, but I thought that maybe the other spirits might be interested in us too."

"Benevolent or not, I wouldn't take their offer, knowing what I know now. Our emotions can change them too easily. It's not worth the risk." Alana nodded, gripping his hand tighter. She hoped to never have to find out.

Two days later, they were seated by a waterfall, doing some much-needed laundry. Alana was dressed in a simple shirt and skirt from her days in Lothering, while Anders just had his pants and boots. "Another day or so and we should be near enough to the Circle to stop in," he told her, checking one of his maps while biting into an apple. They'd found an orchard earlier, had helped themselves to a few pieces, and then raced away before they were caught.

"Hopefully they have some supplies we can get," she said, taking stock of their packs. "I might send Niko hunting later. Maybe he'll get a rabbit or something we can dry." The Mabari in question was paddling around the pool, quite content with his surroundings, and Alana smiled.

"You look better that way," Anders said, sitting down next to her.

"What, in these raggedy clothes?" she wondered, looking at the patches she'd had to sew in over the years.

"No, happy," he replied, tapping her nose with one finger.

"I could say the same about you." He shrugged and took another bite of the fruit.

"I guess I deserved that." She stood up, offering him a hand up as well. When he took it, however, she pulled him against the rocks and kissed him. Anders was startled enough to drop the apple, and it bounced into the water. "What was that for?" he asked when they broke apart. Alana had a mischievous grin on her face, hands on his waist.

"Because I love you." He grinned and bent his head to kiss her again, when they heard something strike the rock near them. Both mages looked up, startled, and Alana only had time to shove Anders back down to the ground before another arrow lodged itself in her shoulder. She cursed, grabbing the shaft and breaking it off halfway. She saw the white-and-gold fletching, and immediately knew they were in trouble.

"Alana!" Anders cried out, attempting to stand. She shook her head, a fireball forming in her hand as she stepped in front of him. It was harder to form the spell how she wanted it, which was odd, but she put it out of her mind for the moment.

"Sebastian, show yourself!" she demanded, eyes sweeping the clearing. Niko was standing on the edge of the pool, ears back and snarling at the group of armored people coming towards them. And leading the group was the exiled Prince himself, bow at the ready. He held up a hand, and the Templars stopped walking, but drew their weapons.

"I told you I'd find you," he warned, nocking another arrow and pulling the string back. "Now move, Hawke, and let me finish this."

"There is nothing to finish," she told him, trying to ignore the blood running down her arm. "This is not justice, Sebastian. It's revenge!"

"Then I will have it!" he shouted back, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. A shudder ran through his whole body, and when he looked at her again, there was no compassion left in him. "Elthina did not deserve to die, Hawke. She was a good woman, and that abomination you protect murdered her in cold blood. And then I heard that you even attacked the Knight Commander? Does his hubris know no bounds?"

"She came after us!" Anders shot back, and Alana saw the glow begin to form in his eyes. He slowly stood up, but she remained between him and danger.

"She was trying to restore order, and you killed her too! How many more people need to die before you see what kind of monster he is, Hawke?"

"He's not a monster, Sebastian, regardless of what you or the Chantry thinks. I will only tell you once more: Back down, or we will defend ourselves." He smirked then, eyes narrowing.

"I came prepared," he revealed, loosing the other arrow. It struck her with more force than she thought it could, knocking her back into the wall. She leaned against it, eyes seeing the shaft protrude from her chest as her lungs burned with each breath. The fireball that had been forming suddenly went out, and she realized too late that "Choir-boy" had stepped into the realm of poisons. "Magebane, Hawke. That should take care of you while we deal with the abomination."

"NO!" Anders cried out, blue veins opening up on his skin as Justice fully manifested. She collapsed to the ground, watching in horror as the man she loved attacked the Templars without mercy. Their weapons just seemed to bounce off him, and one even melted when she thought it pierced his leg. Niko also threw himself into the fight, biting and clawing as best he could. Fighting to breathe, she tried to summon magick to help them, but it was no use. Any spell she tried fizzled out before she could properly shape it. The edges of the world started getting hazy, and Alana knew things were dire. Without her magick, she was useless, and Justice was going to end up getting Anders killed if she didn't so something quick. Suddenly, she became aware of someone standing over her, and looked up, expecting Sebastian. Instead, she saw Hope. The spirit was looking at her, what appeared to be sadness on her face. Her eyes were still an emotionless void of glowing blue, and the mage shivered a bit.

"Am I dead?" she wheezed out, regretting trying to talk. It just made her chest ache more; her lungs not wishing to inhale.

'Not yet,' Hope said in her mind. 'I am surprised you can see me now. Normally I remain on the fringes of detection. Maybe I got too close?' Alana was very confused, and didn't have time to feel that way.

'Why are you here?' Hope touched her uninjured shoulder, smiling slightly.

'I came to see Him, as I usually do. He still cannot see me.'

'Are you talking about Anders, or Justice?'

'Justice. He and I were once very close in the Fade. He would observe humans more than me, but would tell me tales of bravery and valor. It intrigued me, and when he went to protect a group of trapped souls, I awaited his return to hear his stories. But he never came back. I searched and searched, and finally found him by chance. I felt an old magick, and watched some demons playing with a young boy. But this boy had powerful friends who were coming to aid him: You and your group. And then I saw that my companion Justice was with you, and so I followed his essence to that big place. I waited for him to see me, but he never did. I saw the body he inhabited travel with you, and I resolved to follow you until Justice knew about me.'

'In our world, we would call that love.'

'In the Fade, it was just me being myself. I am Hope, not Love. Love is much more powerful than I am, as is Faith. Those spirits are the ones who normally touch humanity or elvenkind, and bond with them. Very rarely do spirits like me do that.' Alana coughed, and she tasted the metallic tang of blood. This was not good at all.

'Hope, I don't mean to rush you, but why are you here? Justice still can't see you, so what's the point of watching him kill Templars?' The spirit smiled, focusing her gaze on the wounded mage.

'I came to help you, actually. Your thoughts called to me, even if you did not say my name directly. You wish to help your friend, and I wish to help mine.'

'Hope, if you're even suggesting that we do what Justice and Anders did… I can't. What if my feelings twisted you into some bizarre viewpoint? Aren't you afraid to lose yourself?'

'Spirits do not feel, not like mortals do. Emotions are strange to us, except the one we were created to embody. It is possible that I will become little more than tattered remains in your soul, but we must help them.' Alana looked over to see Justice and Sebastian fighting, seeming pretty even. Justice almost looked like he was losing his control of the body, though why Anders would- Her… He was probably trying to come back and heal her, but Justice only wanted to destroy the foes in front of him.

'Hope-' The Spirit nodded, kneeling down and placing her hand over the arrow in Alana's chest. She was still smiling, and bowed her head.

'Together, we will aid them. Together, we will become what we could not alone. Together, we will see this crusade through to the end, or perish trying.' Alana placed a hand over the Spirit's, feeling a rush of energy and power the likes of which she'd never experienced before. Her body lifted up on its own, the arrows forced out, and the wounds immediately closing up. Hope settled into her mind, quickly sifting through memories to catch up on what was occurring. Meanwhile, Sebastian was fighting off Justice with all the strength he had. His bow was on the ground, but he'd picked up a sword from one of the fallen Templars, using it against the creature as best he could. But no matter how many time he slashed at it and hit, the abomination kept coming.

"Andraste, accept the soul of your faithful servant," he prayed, not knowing how else to win the fight. Suddenly, the blue glow faded completely, and Anders stood in front of him, looking tired and scared.

"Alana!" he called out, turning around. Sebastian knew he had one chance, and drove the blade home. Anders stiffened, realizing too late that he should've been paying attention to Justice's actions more than his concern for his love's safety. He turned back, eyes widening when he saw the steel sticking out of his side. It had gone in almost to the hilt, and he dropped to his knees, fingers fumbling to try and pull it out. However, a moment later, he doubled over in pain as he felt his mana reserve plummet.

"As I said before, we came prepared," Sebastian explained, standing up slowly. Anders felt like his insides were going to soon become outsides; he felt that ill. Drawing a dagger from his waist, the Prince walked up to him, fire in his eyes. "This is for Elthina. May the Maker show you mercy, Anders. You'll get none from me." The blade descended, and the mage closed his eyes, only hoping that the end would be swift. However, he felt a wind whip past him, and his magick returned full force. Opening his eyes, he saw Sebastian staring at something behind him, horror on his face. "Maker, no." Turning his head slightly, Anders felt his blood run cold. Alana was hovering in the air, wisps of blue surrounding her. She was perfectly healed, and a smile was on her face. Her eyes though, were glowing blue. He stared at her, knowing that she had followed his path, and hating himself for it.

"Maker, no," he breathed, tears welling up in his eyes. However, Justice decided that this was the time to finish their enemy. He took control again, pulling the sword from his flesh and holding it to Sebastian's neck. The Prince didn't even seem to see him.

"All enemies of mages are enemies of Justice!" he shouted, bringing the sword back for a strike.

"Hold, brother," a gentle voice commanded. It was a voice that seemed familiar, and Justice paused, turning slightly to see who was near him. What he saw sent a shock of recognition through him: The woman Anders loved was standing behind him, smiling. But her hair was a pale blonde, like silken sunshine. She wore a white frock that came to her knees, only a shade or two lighter than her skin, and her smile was so wide that it warmed every part of him. Memories of his Fade life came back to him, and he welcomed them like he'd discovered a great treasure.

"I know you," he said softly, the veins not glowing as much now.

"I am glad," she replied, taking his hand. "I have searched for you for quite a while. At least, that is what this girl tells me."

"I have been on a crusade with this one, to free all mages from the injustices they face under the Chantry."

"Then you shall have help in your quest, Justice. I would rather experience this task with you, then hear about it later on."

"Your company is appreciated, as always, Hope."

"The humans should rest," she said as he nodded.

"Agreed. There will be time yet to finish their enemy." The Spirits retreated, and Alana shook her head. Anders was lying in her lap, blood gushing from a wound in his side. Her eyes wide, she immediately put both hands over it and called on her magick. It flowed faster than she remembered, quickly sealing the wound, though the flesh was pink when she removed her hands. She'd have to work on that a bit. Anders stirred, coughed once, and held his side with a groan. His own magick quickly set about fixing any internal damage she couldn't detect yet. When he was finished, he slumped against her, and it took her a moment to realize he was crying.

"Anders… Anders, what's wrong?" she asked, wrapping her arms around him.

"What did you do?" His voice was so soft that she had to bend her head to hear him. "Why did you do it?"

"I needed to," she told him. "I know it wasn't the best choice-"

"It shouldn't have been a choice at all!" His head flew up as his hands grabbed her arms, but he looked more sad than angry. "Now you're just like me…"

"An Abomination," Sebastian said, staring at the two of them. Alana had forgotten he was still there, and hugged Anders to her protectively. Suddenly, she heard a growl, and Niko padded over, placing himself between his mistress and her former friend.

"I should kill the two of you right here."

"You're welcome to try," she challenged, energy crackling around her as she channeled the lightning. "I don't need a spirit's help to beat you."

"Don't," Anders warned, trying to sit up. "Don't protect me."

"I've been doing it for this long. I'm not going to stop now." She looked at Sebastian, who seemed to be in shock. Of the group he'd brought, he was the only one to survive, and a smirk curled her lip for a moment. "Get out of here, Your Highness. Go back to Starkhaven and take care of your people. You tried and failed to avenge Elthina. Let it be a sign that you're not cut out for this."

"You cannot watch him forever!" He was on his feet now, and Niko lunged at him, then pulled back with a snarl.

"Good thing I have help. Now go, before I lose what little patience I have for you, Sebastian. And if you ever think of coming after us again, it will be the last thing you ever do. That is a promise." Her eyes narrowed, and Sebastian wisely decided to leave while he could. When he was out of sight, Alana let the lightning fizzle, and then turned to the mage still in her arms. "I'm sorry, Anders. I know you don't approve of what I did, but it was the only way to end this." He nodded against her, sighing heavily.

"That was why the questions about other Spirits. It came to you in the Fade."

"Yes. She said she knew Justice, and wanted to help him."

"She?" Alana shrugged and sighed, helping him sit up.

"The Spirit looks like a little girl. Her name is Hope." He stared wide-eyed at her.

"Hope? Those are some of the shyest Spirits. How did you-"

"I told you, she knew Justice."

"I think… I think we need to have a long talk about all this," he told her.

"Agreed. Let's get our things and get somewhere safe, though. Niko, come help!" The Mabari barked as the two humans shakily got to their feet, eager to leave this place.

They set up camp later that night, and Alana felt a pang of regret hit her. Anders hadn't said a word to her since the fight, but the sadness and despair he was feeling was evident. He wouldn't look at her, and even allowed Niko to lick his hand, to which he'd just shook his head and patted the Mabari. She ate her rations quickly, still feeling tired from the bonding process, or whatever it was actually called. Hope had kept her mind occupied, showing her visions of the Fade that were breathtaking, and Alana remembered conversations with other Spirits as if she had been the one to have them. But her own sorrow bothered the usually jubilant Spirit, and there was a longing to do more for her. "How long have you known this Spirit?" Anders finally asked, startling her. He was across the fire from her, and his face was cast partially in shadow. She shivered for a moment, staring at him

"She came to me the other day, but apparently she's been watching us since we rescued Feynriel from Torpor." She hoped the boy was doing all right in Tevinter, and that the magisters there didn't twist his views regarding magick's power over people.

"You said she knew Justice? I never heard him mention other Spirits by name, but… I've also not seen him this settled in a long time."

"Settled?"

"Content, I guess. Usually my inaction bothers him, and I need to do something to calm him, or else he could just take over the first time I let my guard down. It's why I kept writing my manifesto."

"Anders… You never told me how hard it was becoming to control him. Why didn't you trust me?"

"I did!" he assured her, standing up now walking over to her. "I just… I didn't want to burden you further." He was next to her now, but didn't touch her as he sat. "You already had everyone else coming to you with problems, me included. I felt so selfish for wanting to explain everything: How hard it was getting to be around Templars, how even being near Fenris and Aveline was starting to take its toll. And Merrill, Maker preserve us, I just couldn't deal with her naïve views any more. Only you and Varric ever tried to cheer me up, to make me feel like a person instead of just a mage. And even then, I didn't want to weigh you down. You were our Champion, and the whole city needed you."

"What about my needs?" she asked, taking his hand. He looked up, confusion in his eyes. "Yes, I was Champion of Kirkwall, for all the good it did me. I never wanted that stupid title, though. Aveline wanted to be Captain, and I supported her. Fenris needed to be free, and I agreed. Isabella left with the relic, and as much as I expected that, it still hurt to lose her. Merrill had to be shown the error she'd made, but it broke my heart to see her lose everything. In a way, she and I are similar. We both lost our families, some of them to blood magick. And you… You wanted to free the mages, and I wanted so much to help you. Even after you drew the line, I knew I would stand with you; with our people. But I still felt that I stood all alone. That no one really cared what I wanted." She felt the tears press at her eyes, and turned her head away. But his hand came up, gently turning her chin back until she was staring into his eyes. Those warm, brown eyes that chased away all her misgivings, and confirmed that this man loved her.

"I care," he whispered. "I just… I didn't do a great job of showing it, did I? I guess I took it for granted that you would always be there, to guide me through everything." His hand caressed her cheek now, and she closed her eyes, enjoying his touch. "But when you needed someone, none of us saw it. I should have, and I'm sorry. Nothing in this world is more important to me than you. I guess I was still afraid to love… To give myself to someone unconditionally. Forgive me?" She opened her eyes, her fingers brushing down his face, and then she leaned in and kissed him.

"I was never mad," she told him as he pulled her closer, holding her tightly. "I understood that you had something you felt needed to be done, and your cause became mine. It still is, even after today."

"You're going to have to be careful from now on, Alana," he warned. "Any emotion can overwhelm them, and anger comes to humans very easily."

"I know. Hope knew the risks of what she was doing, but she wanted to help Justice. I'm not sure if she understands the concept, but she loves him. I can tell by the way she remembers him, and her feelings when he would talk about helping people. If I somehow changed that, turned her into something cruel or destructive, I'd never forgive myself." She suddenly looked up, realization dawning on her. "That's why-"

"Why I hate myself?" he finished. "Yes. I took something so noble, so pure, and twisted it with hate I didn't even realize I had. By the time I figured it out, it was too late. Vengeance is as much me as it is Justice. Neither of us were strong enough to overcome my feelings, but he is the one suffering for it."

"You both are," she argued gently. "You are more conscious of the change, and were hurt more by it because you know it's not what he was. But Hope and I… We will change that. She will help Justice, and I will be there for you."

"I just wish it hadn't come to this."

"It's not the perfect solution, but we'll make it work. Together." She hugged him, burying her face in his chest and listening to his heartbeat. Anders nodded, kissing the top of her head.

"Together. I won't let you lose yourself like I did."

"And I will make sure you reclaim yourself. A piece at a time if need be."

"Justice for everyone. Even us." They watched the fire crackle, sending tiny embers into the air, and Alana felt safe and secure. Anders looked down at her, a smile on his face. "Thank you, Alana. Without you, I would be lost." She kissed him, feeling a stir in the back of her mind.

'Thank you, Hope. Without you, we would both be lost.'