Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or these characters.
Warning: Contains strong language and sexual content.
Jake quickly swung his leg over the bike, straddling the massive contraption and kick-starting it to life. It grumbled and snarled, and he just barely heard Bella calling after him.
"Jake! Jake, wait!" she called breathlessly. He looked over his shoulder and watched a flushed-faced Bella with a light sheen of sweat glistening on her brow running towards him.
His dick twitched painfully in his jeans.
He motioned with a subtle tilt of his head for her to hop on. She climbed onto the back of his motorcycle, wrapping her arms around him and pressing herself extra close to his warm body just as Sam came running out the open garage bay doors.
"Isabella Swan, I'm calling Dad!" he hollered. Jake felt Bella tense, so he placed his hand on top of hers where it was lying flat against his still-naked torso and gave her a gentle squeeze before revving the engine and taking off.
They cruised through the busy city streets, and Bella instinctively held onto Jacob a little tighter. There was something in that brief moment, something not overtly sexual or confusing or potentially disastrous and terrifying, but warm and whole...and right.
And Jake felt it. It caused him to panic slightly, caused his heart to pound, and his palms to sweat. Is this love?
Bella couldn't help the sigh of disappointment that escaped her lips when they pulled up in front of Jake's apartment building and he got off the bike. There was something so fucking sexy and thrilling about being wrapped around him while on the back of his bike.
Jake held out his hand to help Bella off the bike, then pulled her flush against his body to whisper in her ear. "Go on upstairs, honey. I gotta park the bike around back," he exhaled heavily and added huskily, "Be ready for me."
Bella gasped, his warm breath sending shivers down her spine and causing a warm wetness to pool in between her thighs. She shook herself out of her stunned state, traipsed up the pathway to Jake's apartment building, and let herself in.
Maybe I should just leave, she thought, worrying her bottom lip. Bella felt a little out of control and disoriented. She shouldn't have let him get to her earlier. But, goddamn, he just took over, and that, coupled with his expert lips, warm gentle touch, and intoxicating scent, made her completely forget that she was supposed to be holding out, making sure he was all hers first. Not succumbing to his charms.
Bella made her way to the elevator and to the fourth floor completely lost in her thoughts. She absentmindedly unlocked Jake's apartment with her spare key and threw her bag down on the bar that separated the kitchen from the living room.
"Jake?" a soft, high-pitched female voice called. Bella sighed heavily. Who now?
Bella walked down the hallway to Jake's room, half fuming, half emotionally exhausted from having to always fight for him. When she walked in and found her friend, Alice Cullen, lying half-naked on top of Jake's king-size bed.
"Alice?" Bella screeched, her eyes wide with surprise and alarm.
"Bella? Oh shit..." Alice scrambled to right herself from her provocative position and grabbed her clothes from the floor to cover her body.
"What the fuck are you doing here? How long has this been going on?" Bella yelled, her voice rising in volume, anger and complete frustration leaking into her tone.
"Um, nothing... I just was in town and told Jake I would stop by..." Alice managed to say, confused by Bella's anger. She'd told Bella she would be in town this week, too, almost a month ago in an email. Alice had been out of the country filming a documentary for a National Geographic special in South America and had been practically unreachable except by occasional email for over six months.
Bella threw her hands up in the air, looking up to the ceiling, just as she heard the front door open. Alice was already pulling on her jeans and shirt as they heard heavy footsteps approaching down the hall.
"Bells? You back here?" he called, his mouth twitching into a sly smirk and his body humming with anticipation. He wanted her so fucking bad. The sweet taste of her was still on his lips. "I really want to finish what we started, honey."
Alice's eyes shot to Bella's, her forehead furrowed in confusion. Bella locked eyes with the short little pixie, her jet black hair streaked with red and chopped off into a cute bob. It took a minute, but suddenly, all the pieces clicked, and Alice's mouth popped open to form an 'o.'
"Bella? I-I, uh..." Alice stammered, trying to apologize and explain herself. Bella started to interrupt when Jake walked into the room behind her.
"Bel—" He froze mid-sentence, mentally cursing himself as his gaze drifted from Bella's angry stance and glare to Alice's shameful, apologetic look. Fuck. She was defiantly not going to trust him or sleep with him now.
Bella suddenly spun on her heal to face Jacob, her eyes bright with fury as she poked her finger at his chest, backing him up into the wall. He stumbled back, suddenly petrified that this little brunette that he'd thought only moments ago he was falling for was about to just walk out of his life forever.
"Goddammit, Jake!" Bella screeched, pushing him as hard as she could—which wasn't much— with both her palms now flat against his chest. "She's my fucking friend!"
"Bella, honey..." Jake wrapped his fingers around her wrists, holding her to him.
"Don't, Jake. Don't call me 'honey.' I don't want to hear your fucking excuses!" she sobbed; her tears were hot and violent as they flowed from her eyes. She hung her head, sniffling and trying to control herself. She didn't want him to see her cry, or see how much he'd hurt her. Jake let go of one of her wrists, gently curling his fingers under her chin and raising it so he could see her eyes. He ducked his head so they were eye-level.
"Baby, please..." he pleaded, feeling a lump rising in his throat as he saw the tears he'd caused gather in her dark eyes. She stood still for a moment, studying the expression in his eyes, surprised to see them suspiciously bright and glassy.
"Jake, you just don't get it," she sighed, her voice tight and barely more than a whisper as she continued, "I've loved you all my life. All my goddamn life. And I just thought—"
Bella swallowed, trying to blink away the tears and steady herself beneath the tide of emotion and heartache that was overwhelming her.
"—I just wanted—" She closed her eyes tightly and shook her head; she just could find the right words. Bella took a deep, shuddering breath as she saw Alice slip out of the room. She swallowed thickly again and felt Jake's rough fingers glide across her cheek, catching the tears that fell as she squeezed her eyes tighter shut.
Jake's other hand let go of her wrist, his hands came up to frame her face, and he closed the distance between them, his lips only a breath away.
"Bella, please. Look at me. What do you want?" he whispered thickly, his voice shaky and uncertain. She opened her eyes to see his stormy with an emotion she had never seen him wear.
"You, Jake. I want you," she managed to say, her chocolate brown eyes more open to him than they had been in a long time he now realized.
"You have me," he answered, unable to hold back the tears any longer; two slid lazily down his tan cheeks. Bella pressed her lips firmly together and shook her head slightly.
"It's not enough, Jake. I want all of you. Your heart, your body, everything. I'm tired of sharing. I'm exhausted, really. It's taken you six months to even start considering me. I don't want you just to consider me…" She paused, removing one of his hands from her face and pressing it to her heart before continuing, "I want you to just know, like I do, that your heart beats for me. Like mine does for you. That no one else can ever turn your head."
Bella took another deep breath, somehow finding some hidden inner strength to continue, despite the pained expression on Jake's face. More tears fell down both their faces, etching torrential rivers into their skin.
"I've waited my whole life for you," she said solemnly, "I'm done waiting."
Bella slowly closed the small distance left between their lips and kissed him with so much desperation and finality that her heart broke a little more with the effort. She pulled away, and he pulled her back, fitting his lips to hers... once, twice, three more times, until she pulled away again and walked out of the room, leaving him confused and broken and feeling helpless.
She made her way through the apartment, grabbing her bag and walking down to the elevator, where she found Alice waiting. Bella sighed and wiped at her tears. She really didn't want to deal with this right now.
"Bella, I had no idea... I'm so, so sorry," Alice began, tears clearly forming in her eyes. The elevator dinged open, and the two girls exchanged a glance. Bella sighed and motioned for Alice to join her. The least she could do was take her back to the shop so she didn't have to call Sam.
That was not a conversation with a happy ending. At least not for Jake.
"So, can you take me back to Sam's shop?" Bella asked, and Alice nodded. They walked silently to Alice's rental car. About five minutes into the ride, Bella finally broke the uneasy silence.
"How long?" she asked quietly. She really didn't want to know all the details, but she couldn't help it. She was already picturing them together, along with Jake and every other girl.
"Um. I don't know. Pretty much on and off since high school," she answered honestly, peaking at Bella from the corner of her eye.
"What?" Bella exclaimed, unable to hide her shock. Since high school? That was like six years ago. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"
Alice sighed. "Honestly, I was embarrassed. I mean, Jake's always gotten with so many girls, and I felt kinda dirty to be one of them. And it wasn't like I really had feelings for him or anything. When Jasper and I broke up senior year, Jake was there one night, and it felt...nice... to be wanted, I mean. I swore it would never happen again, but then after graduation, whenever I came home from college or being on the road, I'd feel lonely, and it was just easy. No strings attached. No explanations," she finished quietly, worrying her bottom lip, a light blush coloring her cheeks.
Bella rubbed her palms over her tear-streaked face roughly, trying to make sense of all of this. Alice and Bella had been close friends since junior high, but Bella had never dared to admit her feelings for Jacob. Not to Alice. Not to Jacob. Not even to herself. It also didn't help that she had dated Alice's brother Edward most of high school.
Edward was a year older and broke up with Bella after he left for college. She was heartbroken. He had been her first real boyfriend, her first kiss, and she was hoping her first of other things as well. It had been then that she had started to realize her feelings for Jacob. She remembered that date very well.
Edward had called Bella and told her to meet him at the beach so they could talk. He had been pretty distant ever since he left for college, and even when he came home for the weekend, he had hardly made any time for Bella at all.
He left Bella standing alone on her beach at sunset, her eyes filled with tears as he told her he'd met someone else. Jake didn't live far from the beach, and Bella had instinctively run straight to his little red house. Billy, Jake's dad, had been sitting on the front porch, carving a small wooden figurine when she approached.
"Bella? Are you all right, sweetheart?" His voice rose in concern as he took in her bedraggled appearance. She shook her head and pressed her lips tightly together. "Go on in; Jake's in his room."
Bella ran up the stairs—how she didn't trip and fall flat on her face was a miracle in and of itself—and went straight to Jake's bedroom, not even bothering to knock on the door.
"Ja—" Bella gasped, covering her gaping mouth with her hand, her eyes wide with surprise. There Jake was, half lying on his bed, half hovering over some blonde bimbo. His bare chest and sculpted arms had a light sheen of sweat over his smooth, sun-kissed skin. He had one hand resting on her hip, the other tangled in her hair, and his lips pressed to hers.
Something violent and sickening twisted in her gut, fresh tears pricked her eyes, and she took off in the opposite direction.
"Bells! Wait!" she heard Jacob call out, but she was already to the front door. She pushed open the screen door, stumbling down the stairs and barely hearing the sound of Billy's concerned voice and Jacob's heavy footfalls following her.
She made it all the way back to the rocky beach when she felt a pair of warm, strong arms encircle her waist. She felt his warm breath in her ear, and she just stopped and fell limp in his arms. He turned her around to face him, wrapping both his arms tightly around her, and she rested her cheek on his now cotton-covered chest.
"What's wrong, Bells?" he whispered, his hand coming up to tenderly stroke her hair. Bella couldn't even speak as she felt a lump rise in her throat and more tears well in her eyes. She wrapped her arms around his middle as she sobbed, clinging to him like a life preserver.
"I'm sorry, Jake, I-I didn't mean to..." she babbled, barely understandable through her racking sobs. She wasn't even sure why she was crying so hard. I mean, she was upset about Edward. She thought maybe she loved him. Maybe. But she had been less and less sure of that these last few months.
And then she saw Jacob. Her Jacob. With someone else.
Wait. What?
Her crying slowly started to ebb, her brows knitted together in confusion and deep thought as she tried to process the swirl of feelings and sensations storming inside of her. She pulled away—only slightly—tilting her head up to look at Jacob. His warm, dark brown eyes looked worried; his eyebrows were raised and his lips pursed. His shaggy black hair hung in his face. He was sort of beautiful. His jaw was square and defined, his skin a warm, russet color. She could feel his tight abs pressed against her middle, his warm strong hands moving tenderly up and down her back creating a whole new sensation inside her.
The sudden realization of these feelings hit her like a ton of bricks. It was glaringly obvious, and she tried to close her eyes and shake her head and go back to being blissfully ignorant.
"Bells? What's going on? Please talk to me," he pleaded, his hand leaving her back and cradling her face. God, his hands felt so good-both soft and rough. Had they always felt like this? Why was she just now realizing this? Fuck!
This could not be happening. She shoved roughly against Jacob's chest and stepped away from him, wiping her tears on her shirt sleeve.
"Bella? Please, honey," he continued. His voice was so sweet and concerned but still had that scratchy, husky quality to it that sent a shiver that had nothing to do with the cool ocean breeze down her spine. Bella crossed her arms over her chest and quickly tried to school her features and act normal.
"Edward broke up with me," she answered softly. In an instant, she was once again enveloped in Jake's warm embrace, pressed against his muscular chest where she could suddenly feel his unwavering, constant heartbeat, and it felt so...steady, and just...so right.
Could this be right?
And just like that a deluge of images flooded her mind: every time she had called Jacob instead of Edward—to share some news or a joke—every time she sought his arms instead for comfort, how jealous and competitive Edward had always been with Jacob, how warm and easy their relationship had always been, how blurry that friendship line was—
That thought sobered her. However blurry it was, it was still firmly in place. And Jacob was very experienced and went through women like a fat kid through cake. And then she told herself the lie—the myth, the fairytale— all women tell themselves at some point: Maybe he'll change.
"I'm so sorry, Bells. He was douchebag anyway," he soothed in his own very Jacob way. "Come on, let's go for a little walk down the beach. We'll find that, um, spot you like." He grinned, tossing an arm over her shoulder and leading her down the sand.
"But, what about—" Bella protested and pointed back towards his house.
"What? Oh, her? Don't worry about it. You know you're my favorite girl," he chuckled, gave her a tight squeaze, and then leaned down to whisper in her ear, "You know I love you, honey."
A/N: Thanks to jkane180, for being such an awesome beta and friend. Special thanks to wordslinger and kissa_621 for dealing with all my maddness as I tried towrite this chapter and your comments and suggestions!