Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I own the plot
This is/was actually an OUTTAKE to my other Fan Fiction story Starting Over that revolves around Edward and Bella, but it took on a life of its own and is now an individual story. I am posting it as a separate, but parallel story to Starting Over. You can read one without having read the other.
First of all I want to give a MAJOR shout out to my beta and her highly appreciated and detailed comments on this story. DAZZLED EYES22 - This story wouldn't be the same without you.
A/N:
Thank you to those of you who added me to your alerts. As for commenting I am clueless to why you are so quiet. I wish I knew what to do to get you to speak up and tell me if you love it or hate it! But now I am giving up, settling on my couch with the remote and just hoping that you enjoy the story.
I really want to thank DAY for the interview on www twificbitches blogspot com. That was fun to do. And if you read the rec you will get a kick in the shin personally by her if you don't review. LMAO.
Enjoy the chapter.
oooooOOOOooooo
The Third weekend – Part II
A sharp insistent shrill kept irritating my ears. Drowsily, I peeled my eyes open. The lids felt thick and crusty. The nerve grating ringing kept on going, claiming my attention. I sighed frustrated because I was so warm and comfortable in bed. Alice's warm body was curled halfway over mine and her face was nuzzled into my neck. The ringing stopped for a second only to pick up again a moment later. I gave up on ignoring it and reluctantly slipped out from under Alice. She grumbled and hugged my pillow. She looked so peaceful and happy sleeping.
My head was throbbing as I stumbled out into the hall where I located the heinous sound. Alice's purse was flipped open on the floor and it was her phone constantly ringing. I fished it out of her bag, intending to silence it when I saw it was Bella. Alice constantly worried about her and Bella wouldn't call like this if something wasn't wrong.
"Are you okay, Bella?" I asked the moment that I answered her call, not thinking I might be invading Alice's privacy.
"Alice?" Bella said warily.
"No. It's Jasper." I mouthed, biting the inside of my cheek. Perhaps, Alice wouldn't want Bella to know she had spent the night with me. Perhaps, Bella wouldn't really approve. "Are you okay?" I asked, ignoring my internal battle and my groggy state of mind.
Bella sighed heavily and it grew quiet. "Alice is with you, right? She didn't come home last night. Please, just tell me she is with you." Bella begged. I was taken aback by her obvious worry.
"Yeah, she's here. She's sleeping."
"Thank God." Bella said quietly. "So she's okay?"
"I should suspect so." I answered quietly. Alice and I had some talking to do when she woke up. The night hadn't ended like I planned. I hadn't been able to control myself at all. Going down on her in a semi-drunken state, because I needed to, wasn't one of my finer moments. I saw that with different clarity now, than I had last night. To top it off, I practically assaulted her body. Alice would probably be sporting a hangover too. "You want to talk to her?"
"No, just let her sleep. It's just not like her not to come home or at least call if she is out late."
"I see. That's probably my fault. I'll have her call when she wakes up, okay?"
"Thanks, Jasper."
The moment that I hung up the phone, my doorbell screeched followed by a loud pounding on the door. I groaned and reached for the handle. "Emmett." I mumbled. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" I ran my hands down my face, feeling like I could use a good few hours of sleep.
"Hey big sis." He smirked at me. "Long night?" He grinned and stepped forward. "I brought breakfast." He held up a box of doughnuts and a jug of juice.
"Not today, Emmett." I said and blocked his entrance. "Now is not a good time."
Emmett cocked a brow at me and glanced around the hall. I quickly realized that I was standing in a jumbled heap of coats, shoes, Alice's dress, my shirt and her purse spilling its contents onto the floor. I hadn't realized that we had been that messy. Emmett's laugh boomed. "You had pussy last night. Was it ass fondling girl? Sorry, I mean Pixie? Was it good? Is she still here?" He continued one question after another. I blocked his way once more when he was about to push past me. He glanced down at me entertained. I snatched the box of doughnuts and the juice.
"Shut up and get out." I snapped, but I couldn't help smiling. I loved Emmett, but he was a crude bastard. That had been firmly established.
"Hey! That's my breakfast too." He complained. I pulled a doughnut from the box and shoved it at him.
"Bon appetite. Consider it payback for your lack of manners. I'll call you later."
Emmett laughed, but he knew better than to cross me now. I was slightly irritated, feeling drowsy and itching to get back to bed. If anyone else called or decided to pay me a visit, they could consider themselves ignored. All I wanted was a quiet and private morning with Alice. Was that too much to ask? I slammed the door in his face and left the food in the kitchen. When I entered the bedroom, things were like I expected. Alice had been woken up. She was still hugging my pillow while gazing up at me cautiously. I snug under the sheets, relishing the feeling of her warm naked body against mine again.
"Who was that?" She croaked dryly. Her hair was a disarrayed mess around her head; her make-up was splattered around her eyes that were thick and crusty. Her chapped lips were a deep plum color. She looked delicious like that in my bed.
"Uh… that was Emmett."
"He knows about me?" She asked softly and propped herself up on her elbow.
"Yep. He saw you outside my apartment a while back. Please don't mind what he said." I frowned, remembering his nonchalant pussy comment.
Alice shrugged. "You don't want me to meet him?" She asked tentatively.
"No." I said, quietly watching her eyes turn sad. "But not for the reasons you might think. Emmett takes some getting used to. He is rude and loud. Besides, you're looking adorably cute and honestly just fucked. You're also naked and in my bed. He would feed off that for months. Neither of us would ever hear the end of it, if you met him now." I stroked her soft cheek, brushing my fingers across her dry lips carefully. "But I do want you to meet him… just later."
"Okay." She agreed sweetly. I sat back against the head of the bed and reached for the pills and water on my nightstand.
"For you." I offered and she smiled. She didn't take the pills, but opened her mouth instead. I smirked at her, and placed the pills on her tongue. She sat up some and swallowed the water, downing the medication. "How are you feeling?" I asked.
"Like I had one too many Cosmos." She murmured. She nestled in the sheets again and I followed by lying on my side to face her.
"We need to talk." I said quietly.
Alice closed her eyes and sighed. "I know." Her normally bubbly persona was gone and it made me sad. "I'm so sorry about last night. I didn't mean to be a tease and lead you on."
I stared at her, stunned by her admission. "You didn't, Alice. Don't think like that. I am glad you spoke up and told me how you felt. I know you are going to have doubts and a lot of things between us are going to be new to you. I understand that. I just want you to always be as honest as you were with me last night. You might want to touch me, but you also need to be ready for it. Last night, you weren't and you told me. I am grateful you did. Otherwise, it might kill what we have between us and I don't want that to happen."
"So you're not mad at me?" She asked and frowned.
"I can't be mad at you for being honest and following your instincts. It is called common sense. I am glad my girl is smart enough to know that."
She smiled thinly. "Thanks, Jasper." She whispered. "It's not that I don't want to. I panicked and didn't know how to go about the whole thing. It scared me that you know exactly what you are doing and I don't. I just wanted to… uh, please you as much as you do me."
I laughed lightly. "I had my first kiss when I was fourteen. That was ten years ago. I had a bit of practice since then. I know what I like, but don't let that scare you."
Alice pondered for a moment. "So your first kiss, was it a boy or a girl?"
"Girl. I never kissed a boy." I answered softly.
Alice gawked at me. "Never? Nothing?"
"Absolutely nothing. I never wanted anything to do with men. Like I said, I knew what I wanted. I wanted girls. I always wanted pussy. Don't worry about feeling a little inexperienced. It's only natural. We will just take it slow and let things happen when and if you want them too." I paused. "I think it's me that owes you an apology."
Alice frowned and pursed her lips. "Why would you think that?"
"Last night. I shouldn't have pushed you like that. I shouldn't…"
Alice put a finger over my lips and cut me off succinctly. "Don't, Jasper." She cautioned. "Don't ruin it. I liked that you didn't over think it and just did what comes naturally to you. What you wanted. Having you touch me like that felt unbelievable." Her eyes twinkled mischievously and her chest flushed slightly.
"I was afraid that I scared you." I said quietly.
She rolled her eyes at me and sighed dramatically. "How many times do I have to say it? You are not going to scare me. You were kind and understanding last night, just like you always are. Were you always like that?" Alice asked and smiled sweetly again.
"I hope so." I shrugged and laughed, feeling relieved. "Alice, take your time figuring this out. Don't compare yourself to me. I figured out a long time ago what I wanted. If you have doubts or questions, I trust that you will talk to me because you have so far and it's important that you do. It is crucial is that you are comfortable and I don't want to push you if you're not ready. This is how my life is. You are basically a newborn so you always need to speak up if you have doubts." I paused. "I hope you can see how important that is."
"I do." She muttered quietly. "How old were you the first time you had sex?"
"Sixteen."
"I just turned seventeen when I lost my virginity." She laughed drearily. "He was a moron and hardly knew what to do with his…equipment. It was uncomfortable."
"Then why did you do it?" I asked confused.
"Remember when I told you that I fooled around with a girl in high school." I nodded. "Well, there was this girl. She was pretty and a cheerleader. We had become friends all of a sudden, but it felt like more. There was this odd chemistry between us. She made me laugh and I was like drawn to her. We had next to nothing in common, but strangely, I just couldn't get enough of her. One night we smoked some of her brother's weed and got pretty stoned. She suddenly asked me if I had ever kissed a girl. I told her no and she dared me to do it. So we kissed just to prove that I wasn't a chicken. I just remember my mind being foggy. I let myself be swallowed up in the whole thing. The next thing I knew we weren't just kissing, but we were touching and undressing. I was so unsure of the whole thing, but it was clear that Lauren wanted more. I didn't say no since what we were doing actually felt good. She went down on me and she wasn't really good at it, I mean, she didn't get me off, but I didn't mind her doing it. It wasn't like she was violating me, or anything. I was just really confused because I never really thought about her doing that to me or me doing it to her.
"I avoided her for a few days after that, but she kept calling and apologizing for what happened, saying she hadn't meant it and that it happened because she was stoned. When I finally talked to her about it, I wanted her to be honest about what she wanted from our friendship. Lauren finally admitted she wanted more and that she liked what happened between us. I was just as confused as ever, since I was supposed to like boys and not girls. I liked Lauren, but that was not how things were supposed to be. So I told Lauren that I was okay with what happened between us, but I didn't want it to happen again. I said that I thought we should just be friends. She got pissed off and didn't want to be just friends.
"Stupid as I was, I wanted to rectify the situation and convince myself that I did like boys and not girls, so I went on a few dates with this guy. One night when his parents weren't home, I had sex with him. And like I said, it was uncomfortable and I didn't really like it. I told myself it was just because it was the first time. Some of my other friends said it was like that for them too, so I thought I was just like them, that I liked boys. But in the back of my mind, I kept missing Lauren and what I had with her. I missed her friendship and perhaps that more she said she wanted. That waas when I noticed that she had this way of always having exclusive friendships. Sometimes for a few weeks, other times it was for months, but the friendships never really lasted. You know, not like a childhood friend that you have been friends with like forever. With Lauren, they always changed."
"So your first crush was on Lauren?" I asked, lying still just gazing at Alice. She nodded briefly. "So what happened when you got to college?" I questioned, loving Alice's openness.
"That was just as confusing. I mean that I met so many new people and when you study fashion, it's an industry where there are a lot of gay people, especially men. In the end, you don't really notice it anymore. I met a few guys who I dated, and had sex with. It wasn't bad or awkward like the first time. It was nice and I got used to it. Just once in a while, a girl would cross my path and I couldn't resist. I never had a relationship. It was mainly just fooling around for one night. I never went all the way with any of them, as you know. It was always them touching me, not the other way around. That basically leaves me at twenty four, still trying to figure out what the hell I am." She said quietly and laced her arm over her face, but not before I saw her eyes brimming with tears. I didn't like she was hiding from me when she was being so honest and so forthcoming. I wanted to know all of this stuff. I wanted to know everything about her. I didn't want her to feel ashamed.
I had to be realistic also. I had put my heart out there and the situation between us was skating on thin ice. I was really putting myself at risk, something I didn't normally do. I mainly just had monogamous sexual partners without a serious emotional tie, but Alice changed all that. "Look at me, Alice." I said quietly. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and moved her arm back to her side. She gazed at me nervously. I wanted to help her. I wanted to aid her figuring her out her frustrations. I skimmed my fingers across her lower lip and grazed them down her throat. "How does it feel when I touch you like this?" I asked quietly.
She closed her eyes briefly. "I like it very much."
"Yeah? How about now?" I slipped my hand down over her naked chest, where the soft nipple puckered hard under my fingers when I touched her. I played my fingers over the tip of her breast, teasing the sensitive skin.
"Like magic." She sighed and parted her lips.
Slipping my hand further down and circling her belly button a few times, I drew past the soft splay of hairs and caressed the silky skin of her thigh. She moaned. "And now? What do you feel?"
She squirmed. "I wish you would touch me." She breathed. Her words arrowed right through me, spiking my need for her once more. I slipped my leg in between hers, relishing the feeling of skin against skin.
"And what if I did?" I murmured and kissed the corner of her mouth. The tension and need from her body was thick in the air. I could almost smell her arousal as her body melted towards mine.
"I wish I knew how to make you feel like this."
"Don't worry. You can, Alice." I murmured quietly, caressing her flesh softly, rubbing her clit. I watched her gently writhe her head deeper into my pillow and arch her neck. She groaned and curved her hips upward meeting my hand. Her entire body was trembling and every breath that skated from her mouth deeper and deeper. I slipped my fingers into her sex enjoying the wetness. Her legs pulled apart leaving me space to dip my fingers deeply into her. "What if I said I wanted to make you cum?" I whispered into her neck, taking a small bite of her skin. I wanted the chance to hear her pleasure once more as an orgasm rocked her body, just like last night. It was the most erotic thing I had ever heard - intense and primal at the same time.
Alice groaned and arched her back once more. "I would say I wanted to make you cum too." Muscles clenched hard in my belly and moisture pooled between my legs. I might not be getting any, but that didn't mean my body didn't want to. My body was starving for a touch and the chance of relief.
"What are you afraid that you will miss out on being with me? Is there something you will miss compared to being with a man?" I asked quietly and withdrew my fingers. I rubbed her swollen clit as Alice turned to me. Her pupils were enlarged and her eyes deep with need and hunger. I drew her bottom lip into my mouth, suckling it. It was incredible to feel her body withering against mine so passionately, but I needed an answer for my question. I carefully pinched her clit and she squirmed and moaned breathlessly.
"Please, Jasper." She swallowed between pants and gasped. "Oh… oh. More, I want more." She whispered greedily.
"What will you miss, Alice?" I whispered still pressuring her for an answer, but not letting myself get distracted by her words. I knew that I was using control, but I couldn't help it. Her hands locked into my hair, knotting hard. Her breathing was erratic and her chest was flushed with desire. I knew that I was being completely unfair using sex as a weapon to lure the truth from her, but I had to know her doubts. I had to ensure that whatever it was she would miss wouldn't doom us, at least not if it was something that I could give her.
Her mouth found mine in a warm wet and lust spiked kiss. "Nothing." She mouthed almost incoherently. I smiled exuberantly. Another guttural groan escaped her lips when I pushed my finger inside of her again. "Please don't stop, Jasper." Her voice was gritty and thick.
"I wasn't planning on it." I murmured and leaned down, kissing her chest. Her hands roamed down my body, literally squeezing my ass to push me closer to her. I suckled her nipple and she whimpered a response and the walls of her sex started pulsating warmly and her body went taut with pleasure against mine. I loved how easy it was getting her off, how responsive she was. I smiled to myself when I heard her quiet cries as she climaxed. I kissed her chest softly when she rode out her orgasm. I just listened and watched her. She was the most stunning woman that I had ever seen.
oooooOOOOooooo
"You really don't fight fairly." Alice said and hopped up on the kitchen counter. I met her eyes as she cocked a brow while leering at me. Her cheeks and chest were still rosy from her climax. My robe was loosely tied at her waist, leaving entirely too much cleavage showing. She hadn't bothered with her clothes, but just borrowed my terrycloth robe. I liked she was so comfortable with me and with her own body. It was one thing battling her not knowing the full extent of her sexuality, but having to battle self-confidence issues would have been an entirely different matter. I never understood that, but then again, I had always been confident. I was nowhere near as petite as Alice and I didn't aspire to be either. I liked the way I looked, even with all my flaws. I was on the lean side, but I had thighs, ass and breasts.
"I know I don't." I smirked and pulled some eggs out of the fridge. We had decided breakfast would help us both cure the hang over. "I just wanted you to realize there is nothing wrong with wanting a female touch. I didn't want you to panic." I said quietly.
"Did you think I was panicking?" she asked incredulously.
"I don't know." I shrugged. "Last night we were both a little drunk, but you wanted me and I definitely wanted you. I was afraid you would be ashamed of that today. I wanted to make sure you weren't having second thoughts."
Alice sighed and rolled her eyes. "You got to stop this insecurity bullshit, Jasper." She groaned. I nearly dropped the carton of eggs into the sink. She was calling me insecure? I was flabbergasted because that was basically one thing I never was. "I told you a story and, yes, I got nervous last night, but that in no way makes me ashamed of being with you. Get that through your thick head. I am insecure about touching you, making you all hot and bothered like you do me and making you cum. Yes, that scares the crap out of me, because quite frankly I think I will suck at it and you will be disappointed with me."
I laughed. "I would never be disappointed with you, Alice. You are the bravest woman that I have ever met." I started cracking the eggs onto the frying pan, smiling at her audacity for calling me out. It really was my own fear getting the better of me.
"Okay." Alice said and took a deep breath. I glanced up at her. "Come here then." She basically purred.
"What?" I stared at her confused.
"Instead of beating around the bush." She chimed cheerfully. "You have seen all of me and I have seen practically nothing of your body. I want to see it." She suckled her lower lip. "So strip." She ordered. I stared stunned.
"What? Now?" This time I did drop the egg and it crashed and cracked against the side of the pan. Alice laughed and grabbed my hand pulling me to her. Suddenly, I was the one feeling insecure and put on the spot. Still sitting on the table she wrapped her legs around my waist, locking me to her. She leaned forward and kissed me softly. I could taste the minty flavor of toothpaste on her tongue.
"I am curious." She said quietly when she stopped kissing me. She fiddled with the hem of my shirt. I was still just in my nightwear. She slowly started to lift my shirt and peel it up my body. Her breath hitched and I knew why. It wasn't desire. It was my scars. I was left shirtless, but I never felt insecure about my body. It wasn't my fault.
She traced her elegant fingers along a few of the larger lash lines, sadness washing over her face. "What happened to you?"
"It's not that bad." I reassured her. "I was attacked by the neighbor's dog when I was five. It bit me multiple times, but I was lucky that the damage was mostly to the skin." I turned slowly let her see the scars trailed to my back as well. Some were just small puncture wounds, while others had needed a few stitches. Over the years, they had faded and most of them were just small white marks now. In general, it was hard to miss that one side of my stomach and back looked like a chew toy.
I turned to face her and her hands grazed up my stomach over my chest. "You say that I am beautiful, but I think that I am no match for you, Jasper. You're absolutely stunning." She mouthed with awe. I gave her half a smile, meeting her eyes when she drew her fingertips down over my breast, familiarizing herself with my body. "I guess that is not the first time you've been told that." She said evaluating my face.
I palmed her cheek, stroking my thumb across the soft skin. "No." I answered quietly, trying not to sound snide. It wasn't the first time that I had been complimented on my body. It didn't really matter to me what anyone thought about my body, especially my chest as I had heard it all. Sure, I supposedly had been blessed with picturesque breasts, but my right side had also been massacred by a dog. It was about perspective, not perfection. Alice leaned forward, kissing me, parting my lips immediately. Her kiss was hungry, passionate and recognized her curiosity. It scared me. Right now, I sensed in her that she wanted to go back to the bedroom and explore me, not the other way around this time and it frightened me.
Lying back on a bed receiving pleasure was one thing, but giving it and learning if it was the right thing for her was entirely another. When she was done, knew my body and had her curiosity met, that was when she would know for sure if this was for her or not. That was when I might lose her for good. I ended the kiss, knowing I couldn't take that chance right now. I couldn't bear the consequence when she finally figured out what she wanted and it wasn't me. I was terrified. I removed her hand, linking my fingers into hers when they played around the waistband of my loose cotton shorts getting ready to dip lower and slip into my pants.
"I'm hungry." I mumbled overwhelmed with sadness that I couldn't just give into her. My body was screaming for my surrender and to let her please me.
Alice brushed her teeth with the tip of her tongue. "So am I."
I grinned and forced a smile. "Food." I admonished and she laughed. I held my hand out for my shirt and Alice placed it in my palm.
"Another time then." She smiled a snide little grin and her eyes twinkling with amusement.
"Sure." I muttered, knowing she probably saw right through me. I slipped my shirt over my head and cracked the last of the eggs onto the frying pan and cleaned up the shell of the one I had dropped. "Oh, I forgot to tell you, Bella called while you slept…" I was cut off as Alice bolted from the counter, running for the hall.
"Shit." She hissed as she frantically pushed the buttons and held the phone to her ear. "Bella, I'm so sorry." She whined into the phone. I was left dumbfounded, standing with the spatula in my hand, gaping at Alice as she apologized profusely. "You did?" She stared at me. "I'll be home soon, Bella." She promised and paused. "Are you sure?" She hesitated. "Okay." She finished and ended the call.
I was still gawking at Alice as she frantically ran her tongue back and forth over her front teeth. "What was that about?" I asked quietly, but I needed to know. I hadn't been the slightest bit concerned that there was more between them than friendship, but Alice reacting so abruptly had me a bit on edge.
Alice sighed and leaned over the counter on her elbows. Running her feline fingers over her face, she murmured into her hands. "I don't like to leave her alone at night." She answered quietly and void of the bubbly girl I admired.
"Why?" I asked trying to sound indifferent, when I was far from it. I started stirring the eggs, which were sizzling furiously on the pan.
"She has nightmares and screams in her sleep. She never wakes, but I just don't want her to be alone when it happens." She tilted her face up and looked seriously at me. "I should have gone home last night. I didn't even call her."
"I am sorry that I distracted you." I chewed my cheek, feeling guilty.
Alice rolled her eyes at me and leaned closer, kissing my cheek. "I don't think that was your entire fault." I smiled, relishing the joyful and spirited tenor that was back in her voice. "But I made a promise to Bella to help her through all of this and I am going to keep it."
"I would be disappointed if you didn't." I said and flipped the eggs. I loved her for who she was and didn't want to change a single thing about her. Never in a million years would I force her to break a promise to a friend. Alice beamed and sank her teeth into one of the doughnuts that Emmett had supplied. "Let's eat."
"It must be tough losing her husband and then finding out she is pregnant." I said, finishing the last bit of food on my plate.
Alice stopped eating, with her fork hanging midair loaded with eggs. "Jacob died before that, Jasper. It's almost a year and a half ago now. He's not the father." She said quietly.
"So who is?" I blurted dumbstruck that I apparently had it all backwards. Bella was sad that was obvious, but I had assumed it was the loss of her husband that caused her sorrow.
"I can't tell you that. It's a secret that only Bella can tell you." She opened her mouth and stuck the fork in.
I narrowed her eyes at her. "Why is it a secret?" Alice only smiled and I read her. She wasn't going to say anything else on the topic, so I changed it. "Did you know Jacob?"
She nodded. "He was a friend of mine from before Bella moved here. I knew him, since the beginning of high school. He was cheerful for the most part, but a bit of a temperamental teenager." Alice placed her fork at the edge of the plate and I watched as her eyes glass over.
"You lost a friend too." I stated softly. She only nodded, but the moisture in her eyes didn't overflow. She was still sad for her loss and that made me sad. I took my plate from the table and kissed her chaotic hair when I passed. "Finish up and I'll walk you home, Alice."
"Thanks." She murmured.
oooooOOOOOooooo
I had a One Shot featured on the 9th of Feb with Squeeze my Lemon, called Happy Birthday, My Love. It is hot and sultry, mixed in with a lot of other naughty stuff. I added it to my own site. Check it out if you dare.
I'll see you next Friday.
Come find me on Twitter - thumannlegend