Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I own the plot
This is/was actually an OUTTAKE to my other Fan Fiction story Starting Over that revolves around Edward and Bella, but it took on a life of its own and is now an individual story. I am posting it as a separate, but parallel story to Starting Over. You can read one without having read the other.
First of all I want to give a MAJOR shout out to my beta and her highly appreciated and detailed comments on this story. DAZZLED EYES22 - This story wouldn't be the same without you.
A/N:
Thanks for those of you who commented and added me to your alerts. I am grateful.
Enjoy this next leg in the journey of Jasper and Alice.
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Week Four
Waking up Monday morning, I hardly had any sleep all night. My mind was groggy and my body was aching. I had walked Alice home the day before, but I had been restless all afternoon. I needed to do something to get rid of the burning carnal need and frustration rocking my body, so I had pulled out my running shoes and stupidly ran 3 miles. My energy was spruced by pure sexual frustration. I was nowhere near fit enough for that kind of hard exercise. While getting out of bed the next morning, I felt the consequences of my decision to go full out jogging. My legs were like cement. Taking a scorching hot shower helped alleviate some of the tensions in my muscles, but getting myself off had relieved only a fraction of my need for Alice.
I was still completely stunned by the depth of my feelings for her. I knew with perfect clarity that they were true, but I just didn't know how to handle them as loving someone was completely new to me. Getting into bed last night had been almost insufferable. My sheets smelled like her and I felt so utterly alone. I wanted her long brown hair to flow over my pillow the same way it had in the morning when we had woken up together. I never enjoyed having someone sleeping in my bed, as they always seemed to torture my pillows or mess up my sheets in a way that I didn't like, but I didn't mind having Alice in my space because I wanted to share it with her. Though, I didn't know how to handle these new unbelievably intense emotions that came with being so much in love with another person.
Alice had cancelled our morning coffee sending me a short text message. I had been devastated, but opening my computer at work to a sweet and caring email from her had reassured my frantic mind and I was able to calm down a bit.
I rolled my eyes and I was totally irritated when Leah decided to pay me a visit during the morning. She sat down across from me, giving me a hard glare. "So, you won the game." She said evenly.
I closed my eyes and shook my head. I knew perfectly well she was referring to Saturday night at the bar when I had called her out to Maria. "It's not a game, Leah." I sighed.
"Sure it is." She shrugged and grinned mockingly. "The pussy chasing the mouse or in your case, the little bird." She mused, then paused and leaned forward in the chair while her dark eyes trained in on me entertained. "Has the little bird figured out if she wants to eat the pussy yet?" She leered and slowly brushed her fingertips against each other. I kept my composure, though anger was rushing through me. I couldn't accept her talking about Alice like she was a catch or just something to play with for a while.
This was Leah's way of luring victims into her web of sexual thrall. I was seeing her with different eyes now and it wasn't charming, not by a long shot. Knowing the difference between Alice's sweetness and Leah's hard edge the choice was a no-brainer. Leah didn't reach above Alice's tiny ankles. "How's Maria." I diverted.
"Very satisfied." She drawled arrogantly.
I leaned across the table and locked my eyes solidly on hers and smiled a bit. "So if you want to keep Maria that way, you will never talk about Alice that way again. Do you understand me? Or do you need me to flesh it out for you? My relationship with Alice is private and absolutely and in no way any of your concern."
Leah stared at me. "You're serious?" She mouthed with disbelief.
"As a heart attack." I countered without missing a beat. "Keep your damn mouth shut about my girlfriend and I won't tell Maria that you just made another pass at me." Leah gaped at me. "So yeah, I guess that I did win the game." I turned to my computer pulling up my email. "You can leave now, Leah." I said without even looking at her. I was done with her antics.
The only way of handing my raging emotions for Alice and my anger towards Leah was to drown them out with a heavy workload. I skipped lunch, because I didn't have an appetite and just stuck to coffee. I worked resolutely throughout the day leaving no time for my mind to wander.
"Can I come in?" Mr. Marcus asked when the light was dulling outside and the day was coming to an end.
"Sure." I said carefully as I was uncertain if it was a good thing your boss came calling at your office. Mr. Marcus hadn't done that before. "Is everything alright?"
"That is actually why I am here. I wanted to stress how important it is that Aro is impressed with our work."
"It's done, Sir." I said, almost cutting him off. He frowned at me. "Alice approved the final layout last week. I was about to head to the printers office to pick up the final proposal and drop it off personally." I knew that I sounded like a brown-noser, but I had my personal reasons for stopping by Alice's office today. I needed to see her.
Mr. Marcus nodded, keeping his dull eyes on mine. "Good. I'm impressed, Jasper." He didn't move from the chair across from my desk. He tapped his foot and gave me a bored look. "Is Leah giving you any trouble?"
My heart lurched to a halt. There was no way that he could know about us or our history. "No, none whatsoever." I smiled sweetly. "Why?"
He shrugged uninterested. "She just seems more grouchy than usually."
I snickered. "It's probably just… uh, lady business." I laced my hand over my mouth to hide my smirk.
Mr. Marcus barely raised a brow and sighed. "Okay. Keep up the good work." He praised and left the chair.
"Thank you, Sir." I mouthed to his back as he exited my office.
On the floor below at the printing department, I picked up the finished layout and the adhesive banner that I had made for her. Mr. Marcus didn't need to know I had used company time and resources on a little something for Alice. It wasn't much, but I hoped she would like it anyway.
The short stop on the subway seemed to take forever. I was anxious to see her. I hadn't been to her office before, but I hoped an unexpected visit was okay. I was nervous, hoping I wasn't imposing, but I was selfish and needy.
I filtered through the small offices looking for Alice's space or more descriptively, her studio. These were all small businesses that Aro invested in and where he assured his protégés would have the essential working space for them to flourish.
Soft tunes filtered out from one of the offices at the end of the hall where the glass walls were covered with drawings like wallpaper. A small, but hand-sketched sign adorned the open door with the name of Mary A.
I pushed the door open to find Alice leaned over a large table placed in the middle of the room. Her body was slung halfway over the tabletop trying to grasp some large pieces of paper. One ballerina shoe dangled off her foot, hanging onto her toes as she stretched as long as she was. I knocked softly trying not to startle her and leaned against the doorjamb.
Alice flinched and recoiled from the table. Turning, she smiled hugely when her eyes met mine. "I had a feeling that I'd see you." She beamed. It warmed my heart unspeakably to be greeted so warmly and with that gorgeous smile.
"Hi, beautiful." I said softly and stepped into her office. I glanced around and smiled as there was no doubt this place belonged to Alice. All the drawings that shielded the large windows were colorful and hand-sketched designs of hers.
Alice dumped the ruler and pencils on the table and locked her arms around me. I buried my face in her hair and hugged her body tight to mine in a much-needed embrace. Feeling her hug me back with the same level of affection was humbling. It alleviated all my tension to feel her warm body against mine. I realized the frustration that I thought yesterday had been sexual was anything but. It had nothing to do with sex. It was just a need to know that she was safe and mine. I splayed my fingers into her loose hair when her face was pressed against my neck. "I missed you today." I whispered. Alice hummed a bit and I felt her lips press softly to the base of my throat.
"Is something wrong? You seem sad, Jasper." She murmured, running her one hand down my back and goose bumps rose up my spine. Okay, so I was a little sexually frustrated, but it had nothing on the love that I felt for her.
"I'm fine." I said pulling back. I leaned in and pressed my lips to hers, while running my tongue over her bottom lip. Her lips parted and we kissed gently for a moment. It wasn't lust spiked as usual, but more a chaste kiss of love. At least, it was like that for me. "I got something for you."
Alice eyes widened and she beamed her megawatt smile. I left the proposal on the table and unfolded the banner. She stared at it for a moment and gaped. "You made that for me?"
"I did, but the company paid. They just don't know it." I snickered. "You like it?" I asked nervously.
"No." She mused and frowned. "I love it." She mused enthusiastically and clapped her hands in a quick blur. I rolled my eyes at her. "Will you put it up on the door for me? It will fit perfectly."
"Of course." I said and gave her a brief kiss. "So what are you doing anyway?" I asked as I concentrated on sticking the banner onto the door evenly and centered.
"Pattern making." She sighed. "I can't afford paying anyone to do it, so that leaves me." She shrugged. "All my fabrics are arriving Thursday morning. I need to get this done by then."
"Okay." I said and stared at the messy table. I turned to the sketches on the wall. "I guess this is the collection." I said and pointed to the colorful drawings.
"Indeed." She radiated. She didn't hesitate starting to explain the designs, her idea and inspiration. I knew most of it as the logo layout had been done from those aesthetics, so it was nice to see the actual designs. Staring at them, I could certainly see the cohesive theme throughout the line. My girl was definitely talented and I was proud.
"Why the name Mary A?" I asked, as she never went by anything else but Alice.
She shrugged. "My grandmother used to call me that. I like the way the name flows. She died a few years back. Mary A reminds me of something gentle and kind, but yet powerful."
"Like you." I said softly gazing at her. To me, she might as well have been describing herself. She giggled and nudged my shoulder. "You want to grab some dinner?" I asked when our eyes met.
She sighed. "I would love to, but I really can't, Jasper." She paused and glanced at the papers on the table. "I really need to finish these patterns. I have two seamstresses lined up for next week and I need the fabric to be cut and ready by then."
"I see." I said trying to hide my disappointment, because I really wanted to spend the evening with her. "Anything I can do to help?"
"You wouldn't mind?" She frowned.
"Anything for you." I said softly, leaning in and kissing her neck gently once. Alice snickered sweetly.
"Anything?" She quirked a brow at me while a lustful smile spread across her face. I rolled my eyes at her. "I know, I know." She chanted. "Playing hard to get."
"Someone is not?" I countered snide, calling her out and glanced down her body. I just couldn't help myself. I took in her skirt and it wouldn't be much of an obstacle if I wanted to touch her.
Alice drew her hand over my ass feeling me up while biting down on her lip and humming. "I never said I was and I seem to remember you didn't mind that much Saturday night or Sunday morning." She leered at me. "But if I forget, will you remind me again how you handle curious girls like me?" she inclined her head and winked at me.
I laughed. "I'll remind you anytime you want." I whispered and stole a kiss. "But now you need to finish your work."
"Oh, right." She sighed and groaned. "Patterns. How much do you know about pattern making?" She turned to the table and started arranging papers.
"About as much as I know about being straight." I mumbled.
"Okay. Here's what you do." She began a long explanation about tracing the lines of the base pattern, transferring them to the new paper, adding seam allowance, then how to cut them out and remember the notches. I nodded feeling confident about how to do this. By my second attempt, Alice was pleased with how I was doing and left me to it.
She chatted for the most part while I concentrated on not screwing up her work. It was a huge relief to just be with her and not have to go home and be alone. I didn't need anything from her other than just spend time with her. It didn't matter to me what we were doing.
When a tangible silence lingered, I felt the startling urge to tell her how I really felt, but I couldn't get the words past my lips. It would mean the world to me to tell her that I loved her. Perhaps there was even the possibility she felt the same way? She never lead me to believe otherwise, but just coming right out and saying it was a major risk that I didn't dare take just yet.
Alice called Bella to let her know that she was working late and wouldn't be home until after she was asleep. I smiled, while rejoicing at how Alice took care of the people that she cared for.
I ended up spending three nights after work tracing patterns, not really minding the meticulous work once I got the hang of it. It was sort of thrilling to see the designs on the glass wall come to life on paper. Later, these patterns would be the foundation for the entire collection.
More importantly, I got to have Alice all to myself. I loved to hear her laugh and talk animatedly, to kiss her once in a while and have her arms around me when she would hug me unexpectedly. The expression 'It is all about the little things' certainly had meaning now. Just a look across the table could send my heart into a frantic motion, or a brush of her hand when it snug under my shirt made the need grow in my body. Most of all, it was her brave and not very subtle comments of attraction that made me feel warm.
Although it was amazing to experience this with her, it made me even more afraid. Realizing how much I loved her, made me fear losing her all the more. One obstacle we had yet to cross was that Alice hadn't touched me. I hadn't let her. I couldn't let go of my anxiety long enough to accept when she asked each night if I wanted to stay over at her place. Alice was far from subtle when we kissed. I felt her hunger radiate from her body. She didn't have the same restraints as me and was blunt about what she wanted. Though it was night and the floor of her office building was empty, I had stopped her when she had wanted to touch me. Saying no when she had pleaded seductively with me to let her touch me, had been one of the worst moments of my life. I hated letting Alice down and my body had never been so taut with hunger and need for relief. I ignored my own needs and pursued to fill hers instead when I couldn't ward her off with a simple no anymore. I really learned the benefit of a short skirt and tiny panties when she dared me to 'be handled' on that large table in her office. I couldn't resist.
oooooOOOOooooo
Friday I shut my computer off and slipped my feet into my shoes. I grabbed my coffee mug on my way out of the office and switched off the lights. I checked my phone and opened the message from Nettie. I was a little disappointed that it wasn't from Alice since I hadn't heard from her all day. She used to email or text at least once. She hadn't answered my text from hours ago.
Come to the bar, I'm lonely and thirsty. Nettie
I checked the time the message had ticked in, it was less than five minutes ago. I typed in a response that I was on my way. Disappointingly, I didn't have any other plans for the evening so far.
"Hey there." I mused cheerfully when I found Nettie located at the bar, chatting up the bartender.
"God, finally." She groaned and leaned over kissing my cheek. "Uh, where is that super sexy girlfriend of yours?"
"Working I suppose." I answered and ordered a beer, sitting down on the bar stool.
"You suppose? What? Trouble in paradise?" Nettie laughed.
"No." I said and took a swig of my beer when it was placed in front of me. I let the cold fluid quench my thirst. "Where's Maria?" I wondered as the two could usually be found together at this specific bar on a Friday afternoon for drinks.
"Who knows? Probably with her new sex toy. Jeez, you should hear the story that she tells me…"
I cut her off bluntly. "I'd rather not." I spat, trying not to choke on the beer. I had enough of Leah and I definitely didn't want to know anything about the pair of them.
"Oh right, you used to know her, right?" Nettie beamed looking all intrigued by the pending entanglements on the horizon.
"Emphasis on used to, but I work with her." I shrugged, trying to hide my grin. "She's my boss, you know."
Nettie squealed. "Jasper, you didn't. You're such slut. Sleeping your way to the top." She taunted.
"Whatever… it's not like I am doing it anymore. Besides Leah was just about getting needs met, nothing more." I took another drink.
"Interesting, how about that? Are you still holding out on that poor girl, Alice?" Nettie thrilled, expecting me to spill any dirty details about Alice and me. Well, in the past I hadn't exactly withheld information when Nettie or Maria had been probing about my sex life, nor had they with me, but with Alice it was different. It wasn't a laughing matter or something that I took lightly. It was private between us, almost sacred.
"It is different with her." I said quietly, hoping and praying that she wouldn't taunt me or tear me to shreds for being a sappy heartbroken freak with performance anxieties. "It is real with her. I don't want to fuck it up."
Nettie was quiet for about a minute, an insufferably long time for her chatty self. "You won't mess up, Jasper. If you want my advice, don't suffocate Alice with your fears, because I can see that you're scared shitless. I don't know much about her, but she's quite outgoing and resilient. Put some trust in her and jump off that cliff together."
I listened to my friend as she made perfect sense. I had told myself that too, but I was just too scared that I would lose her when she finally figured out her life.
My phone buzzed with another message. I was happy to see Alice's name on the display.
I am leaving the office. Can I see you?
I quickly typed my response, thrilled to finally hear from her.
"That her?" Nettie guessed and picked the olive out of her martini. She squashed it with her front teeth, smiling gleefully.
"Yeah, she is coming over. Is that okay?" I grinned, trying to control my exuberant mood change as I got to see Alice. Nettie stared at me.
"You really are in love with her." She said and her tone was full of wonder. "I mean like serious life commitment and no one else for you, in love with her."
I laughed gently. "It's worse, Nettie. I don't know how to function without her anymore. It's been four weeks since I met her and now I don't even remember what my life was like without her. It's so sad. I know." I shrugged and took another swig of my beer.
"No, Jasper. It's not sad. It is wonderful. The rest of us hope to experience that kind of love. You weren't even looking for it and it lands at your feet. You're so lucky."
I gritted my teeth at her upbeat, annoying, everything is so perfect, attitude. "Am I, Nettie? So what happens when Alice figures out that she's straight and doesn't want me? Am I lucky when she figures out that she's not into pussy at all?" I all but hissed at her.
Nettie gaped at me. "What? Are you kidding me? You think Alice is straight?"
"I am not saying that she is. I am saying she doesn't have that part figured out yet. I took a major fucking chance on her. I knew right from the start the chances of Alice and me working out were a one hell of a long shot. So far it is going great, but there are no guaranties, definitely not with a girl who is basically inexperienced." I glared at Nettie as she was grating my nerves. If I did lose Alice, I wouldn't mend like her and wouldn't be on to my next crush the following weekend. I would be devastated.
"Is that why you haven't slept with her? Because you think she will dump you when you have?" She gaped at me.
"Basically, yes." I admitted shamefaced.
"Jasper, if you keep this up you are going to lose her. Let her in and not only halfway. You're an idiot if you keep someone that cute and lovable at arm's length because are afraid of a commitment that you basically want. Give her a chance." Nettie argued back.
I sighed. Seeing no way of winning this argument because my point was irrational fear and probably had no merit, I gave up. "Can we just drop this?" I finished, not wanting this to blow into a full on squabble.
"Whatever you say, Jasper." Nettie humored me. I knew that. She wasn't shy to meddle, but she also knew when to pull back.
Alice's shoulders seemed frail and broken when she pushed the heavy brass door to the bar open minutes later. There was something about her that had shattered and defeated written all over her. It tore me up, because my girl was happy and lively, witty and vivacious. The girl walking through the doors was none of those things. I followed her with my eyes as she filtered through the throng of people to where I was sitting.
"What happened?" I implored when she literally fell into my body and snuggled into my neck and gave a quiet sob. She just shook her head against my throat.
"I missed you so much today. I had the worst day ever and I needed to see a friendly face." Her arms locked around my waist. I was taken aback and fretful while my heart pulsated violently in my chest.
"What's wrong, baby." I whispered, brushing my fingers down her hair. When she pulled back, her eyes glassed over with tears and she snorted.
"My collection. It can't be finished." She murmured. "All the fabrics for the clothes are gone."
"What do you mean that they're gone?" I frowned.
"I ordered them in Paris months ago and they were supposed to be delivered yesterday morning by UPS. They didn't arrive and they told me today that the delivery truck was stolen and so were my fabrics. I was just waiting for them to arrive." She murmured. I skimmed my fingers down her cheek. I was heartbroken that her life's work was failing. This week, I had seen how hard she worked because I had been with her most nights.
"You can't buy more?" I asked, knowing how lame I sounded. If that really was an option, there was no way Alice would be this heavy hearted. She would have fixed the problem by now. She wouldn't be standing in a bar with tears almost running down her face.
She shook her head. "That will take months. They were especially made with my prints and designs. The supplier will have to start all over. I don't have time for that nor do I have the money." She snorted. "I don't want to think about it anymore. I tried to work something out all day and it has all been for nothing."
"Is there anything I can do?" I asked softly.
Alice nodded a little and leaned in for a gentle kiss. She pulled back, gazing at me with those broken and sad eyes. "Stay over at my place." She hesitated. "Just stay with me tonight. I don't want to be alone." She murmured and leaned her forehead to my shoulder. "Just please, Jasper."
I swallowed convulsively, feeling anxiety rise within me. Staying with her through the night would leave me even more exposed and more vulnerable to having my heart broken. I caught Nettie's eye over Alice's shoulder. There was no doubt what she thought about the whole situation. In her opinion, it was a given that I accepted. "Okay." I hesitated. "I just need to pick up a few things from my place. What will Bella say to this?" I asked apprehensively, but there was no way in hell that I could say no to her when she was this upset. I wanted to be there to comfort her the best that I could. That was what a girlfriend was supposed to do, and not wallow in self-pity and ridiculous anxieties. It was what I wanted to do. Even though, I knew I was putting myself even more at risk.
"She's fine. She is actually wondering why you haven't stayed over." Alice said, laying it on thickly that she was pondering the very same thing. I was still worried it would be hard for Bella to accept our relationship, so I avoided answering.
I cradled her face and pressed my lips to hers. "We'll figure something out about the collection. How about we go pick up what I need from home, order some food and go to your place?"
Alice placed her arms around my neck and leaned her forehead to mine. "Sounds perfect." She whispered.
Alice was so quiet beside me and all the way to my place. She was silent ordering food and until we arrived at her place. I didn't feel a distance to her, quite the opposite as she kept her hand in mine all the time. There was a physical presence of her through it all.
Bella was worried and sad when Alice told her what had happened. We had dinner and Alice cheered up a bit. I was ecstatic to see her small smile once in a while. We watched some TV and Alice curled up by my side. I was apprehensive about letting her snuggle up to me, but she wasn't having the distance. I worried Bella would have a problem with us being close, as she kept glancing over at us. Her face was unreadable whenever she did. Bella went to bed, when she started nodding off lying on the couch.
I went to brush my teeth and started getting ready for bed when the time passed midnight. I was surprisingly comfortable in Alice surroundings. I smiled every time I noticed something that I knew would belong to her. I twirled the red nail polish bottle in my hand knowing it wouldn't belong to Bella. I set it back down on the sink and went to Alice's room.
She was sitting on her bed with her head stuck in the book that I had given her a few weeks ago. The light was soft and warm from the candles. She had lit a few on a shelf and two more sitting on the windowsill. I chewed the inside of my cheek, hoping to bury the anxious feelings brewing inside of me at the intimate setting. I wasn't sure if it meant anything, but it could also mean everything.
Alice glanced up and placed the book beside her. She was still fully clothed and I was glad she had not decided to surprise me with some sort of French attire consisting of only lace. That would have made me go into a full on panic attack.
Alice brushed her fingers down my cheek and traced her thumb underneath my jaw. "Relax, Jasper. I'll be a few minutes. Make yourself comfortable." She ordered softly.
I decided to follow instructions and changed into my usual sleepwear, consisting of a singlet and a pair of black cotton shorts. I sat down on the wide windowsill and focused on relaxing. I pulled on the elastic ponytail holder out and let my hair down, slipping the band on my wrist. The chill from the window cooled my arm and I shuddered slightly. "Are you sure it is okay I'm staying over?" I asked minutes later when Alice was back from the bathroom.
"I'm sure. Bella won't mind. She keeps begging me to have a life." She smiled.
Alice stripped out of her top and I couldn't help appreciate the delicate lacy bra. It looked nice and gave her a cleavage that men would die to bury their crude faces in. Just so happened they couldn't, since I was the only one officially allowed to bury my face in her chest. I was glad that she was so at ease. It made me more comfortable.
"You like what you see?" Alice chuckled when she caught me staring.
"Absolutely." I answered shamelessly. She smiled pleased and bent down to pull her socks off. I watched as her stomach rippled charmingly.
"You should see the panties then." She lured playfully. I was glad to see the bubbly person that she was sneak through her sadness.
I turned on the sill letting my legs dangle off the ledge. I kept watching her as she fiddled around her room. She pulled the rings from her fingers, unclasped her necklace dumping it on the dresser. Later, she smeared a small portion of lotion between her hands and applying it to her face. She caught me staring at her again and her eyes twinkled. She smiled lustfully and warmth spread in my belly. Blood rushed south as she sashayed toward me and straddled my lap. I couldn't control how my body reacted to her, but I knew this was it. Whatever premeditated move she had planned, she would play her card now.
Her warm mouth eagerly found mine and soon her wet tongue slipped across my lip. I parted them and let her invade my mouth. She tasted fresh and clean. I moaned into her mouth. Her dainty fingers began fiddling with the hem of my shirt. I just wanted to give into her, but I just couldn't let her take it off.
I pulled back from her mouth. Her lips were swollen with desire. Her breathing was already heavy and feathering persuasively across my face. I dropped my eyes to the graceful lacy bra and drew a finger between her breasts. She sighed and arched her chest into my hand. Alice was passionate for someone so inexperienced and I loved it. I watched her as I cradled her beautiful and soft breast and she sighed content. The tip puckered into my palm. I pulled back slightly and lowered my face. I skimmed the hard bud with my teeth over her bra and she moaned. The sound went straight to my core, making it pulsate.
Alice's fingers twined into my hair and pushed her breasts willingly against my face. I kept nibbling, licking her soft skin, and caressing the flesh right at my mouth. Alice kept rubbing the apex of her thighs against my hips. She wanted this to escalate, no doubt. I could feel the warmth of her thighs and pussy against my bare legs.
I slipped my arm around her slim waist and snapped her bra open. Slowly, I peeled the straps down her shoulders, kissing her along the collarbone. I pulled the flimsy fabric back, freeing her skin. Her breasts were perky and her nipples rosy.
She peered down at me. Her eyes were penetrating and wanting. "Please, Jasper. I want you so much. I want to make love." She whispered. I already knew she would say that. I sighed and rested my head against her bare shoulder. I was afraid to answer. "Jasper, look at me." She said softly. Gentle hands cradled my face and pulled it up to hers. "What are you afraid of?" It was weird how she could read me. It was all about her hunches and they were always right on the money. In so little time, she knew me so well. I never wanted to be anything but to be honest with her. "Tell me, Jasper." She begged.
I kissed her softly, our lips playing delicately. "I'm afraid if we do this... When we go all the way, you are going to figure out that this isn't for you after all." I tucked her lower lip between my teeth. "I'm afraid that you are gonna want something different than a woman."
She reciprocated and graced my upper lip with her teeth. "Don't you get it, Jasper? I might have been with men, but I also know how it feels to be with you. With you, it doesn't matter. Nothing compares to being with you. It is you that I want." She hesitated, her eye wide with fear, swimming with emotion. "I love you, Jasper. I've fallen in love you and I want to show you." She swallowed. "I love everything about you. You're the gentlest person that ever existed. You're warm and caring. You're smart and giving. You're everything to me."
I stared back. My eyes were brimming with moisture, threatening to spill over with tears. My heart swelled in my chest and I could hardly breathe. This is exactly what I wanted to tell her. I smiled. She was always so much braver than me. "You're the love of my life, Alice." I breathed. "You're it for me. I love you too." Through the turmoil inside of my body, it was so easy saying those words to her because it was exactly how I felt and every ounce of it paralyzed me with its depth. Alice was everything to me too.
With her thumb, she softly wiped the one tear that was spilling and put it between her lips. "Salty." She whispered.
I smiled back, knowing that I couldn't refuse her again. I wanted this as much as she did. Fear or no fear, I wanted to consume every part of her and I wanted her to consume me. Her lips were on mine before I was able to answer her. "Okay." I whispered into her mouth.
oooooOOOOooooo
So… er yeah, I guess most of you can figure out what is going to happen next. You will just have to wait until next Friday.
Come find me on Twitter - thumannlegend
I had a One Shot featured on the 9th of Feb with Dirty Cheeky Monkeys - Squeeze my Lemon, called Happy Birthday, My Love. It is hot and sultry, mixed in with a lot of other naughty stuff. I added it to my own site. Check it out if you dare.