Chapter 18

Saturday passed and Sunday came...

Christine was still struggling, to say the least. All the worry and all the sadness over her problems were really messing with her spirit. Phantom had lied to her, Erik had lied to her, and both had been apt on leaving her. She couldn't get it out of her mind.

She'd had more time to think about and try to process her situation, though. Christine realized what was beginning to happen. She was just feeling so down about it all. It wasn't healthy... And if things were to continue this way, she was going to end up just like her father- depressed.

I need to talk to someone... Well, her options were limited. Meg wasn't around, which meant that she was with Chad, and Christine couldn't talk to her father. He was suffering enough already.

There was one other person, though. Derik. He seemed like a good choice. She'd said she would meet him that night at the park, after all. She didn't want to go back on her word, and he'd always been a good listener.

This is a good idea, Christine decided. I'll talk to him, get everything off my chest, and see what he has to say.

–

Erik brushed the sleeves of his coat briefly, his thoughts on what was to come. He'd had time to plan it all out, what he would say, how he would say it, and how he would handle the consequences of his actions. There were quite a few things he couldn't control, though, one of them being if Christine would even show up. In actuality, she could have forgotten about our meeting in the midst of her horrible weekend. After all I have done... He shook his head. This wasn't the time to dwell on his ever-abundant mistakes. There was much to be done, and it was time to leave.

He left the music building and headed towards the park at a quick pace.

–

It was 6:25 pm as Christine walked through Sunny Springs Park towards their usual bench. She could see Derik sitting on the bench in the distance, and she smiled. It felt like it'd been quite some time since she'd smiled.

Erik watched as she walked towards him. He was very relieved to see her, but he was also very nervous. It was time to fulfill his plan, and she had no idea of it. Without a doubt, she would leave him when she heard the truth. And then, when she was gone, he would leave Ballad Conservatory for good.

When Christine was close enough, he stood politely with a slight smile on his masked face. All nerves aside, he really was so glad to see her. Before he'd spoken to Antoinette the previous day, he'd been quite sure he would never see his love again. Now that he was seeing the young woman that was the light of his life, he was grateful, even if it was to be the last time.

As she came closer, he could see that she didn't look like her usual self. She looked tired, which had to mean that she was still thinking of 'Phantom' and 'Erik'. Oh, how he hated himself for putting her through this. But, her apparent despair was soon to come to an end. After this night, Erik was sure she would forget him completely. She would force him out of her lovely mind.

"Good evening, Christine," Erik greeted softly, trying to keep sadness from his tone.

"Hi, Derik," Christine returned. She was very glad to see him. He was one of the only guy friends she had left, and he was also the first person she'd talked to since the previous morning. She sat on the bench, and he followed suit. Turning to look at him, she asked, "How's your night going?"

Erik couldn't stop staring at her. He'd never be able to see her sweet, angelic face again, so he wanted to make the most of it. Every second counted. Honestly, he replied, "Now that you are here, it is going better than before." Before he could let her inquire that subject further, he asked, "How are you doing?"

Christine shrugged and let out a short sigh. "Better now that I'm able to talk to you."

There was silence while each of them thought of how to address what they wanted to talk about. Christine knew the sooner she got her problems out in the open, the closer she'd be to getting his advice and feeling better. Erik simply knew the sooner he got the truth out, the better.

"Actually, the past couple of days haven't been too good," Christine began.

Erik flinched slightly. He couldn't bear to hear what she had to say. But, at the same time, he couldn't stop her from talking or stop himself from listening.

She wasn't sure where to begin... Maybe it would be best to start with talking about things I've already told him about. "Remember the recital I was telling you about the other night?"

"Yes," Erik replied, his heart hammering with nerves over what was soon to take place.

Christine was completely unaware of his demeanor and continued talking. "Well, I sang and it went pretty well. I'd actually never sung quite like that before. And, well, I thought it was because of my voice teacher that I sang like that. His name's Erik. I've told you about him before."

He nodded feeling worse and worse and more and more guilty as each word left her precious mouth.

"I gave him full credit for my abilities... But, I shouldn't have." She looked down then and softly said, "You see, before yesterday morning I believed that Erik was... an angel. A real angel." All was silent for a moment, but Christine didn't think anything of it. "He claimed to be my angel, and I know it's silly, but I believed him. I couldn't see him, he seemed to know everything about me, and he was an amazing musician." Becoming a little angry, she crossed her arms and said, "It didn't help that the one person I entrusted my secret to was insisting that it was true, too. You remember me telling you about the guy I talked to on the Internet, right?"

Erik nodded again, too ashamed to speak.

Bitterly, Christine explained, "Well, he went by the name Phantom, and both he and Erik are liars. They've been lying to me about everything. I'm so stupid... To have actually believed them.. And worst of all, when I told them that I wanted to see them since I'd never seen either of them, they left me. Both of them. After everything, it's like I didn't really mean anything to either of them." Christine was practically seething by the time she finished.

By then, Erik was feeling excruciatingly terrible for everything he'd put her through. All he wanted was to comfort her, to make her understand.. He'd lied enough, and his lies had hurt her enough. It was time to tell the truth. With complete honesty, he whispered, "You're wrong, Christine. You mean everything to them."

Christine was taken aback by that. "Huh?" How can he know what they think?

The time had come. It was now or never. "Christine, you have told me about your voice teacher and Internet companion, but..." Erik gulped before finishing with, "There was no need for you to tell me."

Her brow furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?" she asked, not grasping the point.

"What I mean to say is... You have already seen both Phantom and Erik."

"I've already seen both Phantom and Er-" She began to repeat his words but suddenly stopped, her eyes widening in abrupt understanding. "Y-you mean..?" She knew what he was saying. "You're them?" She was shaking.

Erik was feeling very small, more timid than ever before. "Yes."

Denial crept in. Christine blinked and shook her head refusing to accept his words. "I don't believe it. Y-you can't be. You're lying."

Well, it wasn't going to take much to make her believe him. Really, just a few words would do the trick. Erik took a moment to think of how to convince her. To make her see the truth was going to make her hate him, which he didn't want. But, the current atmosphere was already bad enough. Now that he'd told her this much, they couldn't go back to their happy, innocent friendship. "I'm not lying, Christine." He cleared his throat and proceeded to speak using the exact tone he used when he was Erik. She'd recognize the voice immediately and there would be no question in her mind. "You hear the way I am speaking. You know of one other with this voice."

Christine's mouth opened, but words didn't come out. Derik had been using a different speaking voice all along to talk to her. The voice she was now hearing was Erik's. He's Erik. He's really Erik.

The look on her beautiful face was enough to make him hate himself even more, if that was even possible. He couldn't stop now, though. If he was never going to see her again after this, then he didn't want to leave anything out. "I think you are beginning to believe me when I say that I am Erik. As for believing that I am 'Phantom', I can tell you about how I found you through Instant Messenger last February. I lied to you by addressing you as Samantha and telling you a false story."

Weakness was spreading through Christine's body as she thought about it. She'd always been a rather trusting person, but this was causing her to feel like she could never trust anybody ever again. In the past two days, she'd discovered that three people had lied to her, but it was really only one. Looking down, she heard herself ask, "Why? Why would you do this to me?"

She was going to give him a chance to explain! Erik hadn't known what to expect. He hadn't known how long she would stick around to hear what he had to say. The fact that she wanted an explanation was hopeful. Of course, it wasn't hopeful in that she might forgive him, for that certainly wouldn't happen, but at least he could be near her for a little while longer.

But, explaining was going to be the hardest part of all. I will start from the beginning. "My name is Erik and I live in the Ballad Conservatory music building. I have lived in the basement for many years. Besides you, only one person knows who I am, and that is Antoinette Giry, your dance instructor. Others know that something lurks within the building, but they think it is a ghost. They believe me to be the ghost of Ballad Conservatory."

Christine's eyes widened again. He's the ghost, too? Four identities? Four identities?

Erik knew she was surprised to hear that. "Yes, I am the ghost, but really, I am only a man." He knew he wasn't that either, though. I am a monster. He shook his head slightly, not needing to get caught up in his feelings right now. "For years, I have watched prospective students audition for acceptance into Ballad. Last spring was no different. I watched each audition from the balcony of the auditorium, critiquing every performance. When it was your turn to audition, I was not prepared for what I heard. You were great, yes, but there was more to it."

He sighed knowing his explanation was taking much too long. "I will refrain from elaborating on it, though, as that is not the purpose of my explanation. When I heard your audition and saw you, I knew I had to do everything in my power to make it so that you came to Ballad. Carlotta doesn't have an ear for talent, so it was up to me to ensure you received a full vocal scholarship. I also wanted to get to know you. I knew you were unique, and I wanted to know more. That's where Instant Messenger came in. Being the ghost of Ballad, I'd heard other students talk about messaging their friends, so I decided to take part in it. Through our Internet conversations, I learned many things about you. Time passed, and I considered you to be my only friend."

Christine was merely looking down as Erik spoke. He hoped she was listening, and he supposed she was since she didn't say anything. "Well, you received a full vocal scholarship and began your freshman year. While in the music building, I could watch you from afar, and while away, I could talk to you through Instant Messenger. I was content for the first time in my life." Remembering it all clearly, Erik's brow furrowed in a disliking way. "When Raoul entered the picture, however, I immediately hated it. I knew he wasn't a good person, and I felt he was destroying your future. So, I followed the two of you on your first date. At the restaurant, you saw me for the first time, and after that, I knew I had to get you away from the boy.

"I interrupted your date by calling you and attempting to be a talent agent. You came to the music building as I told you to, and that was when everything became more complicated. I was merely trying to get you away from the boy, but my actions ended up hurting you. When you began to cry in the auditorium, I couldn't bear it. That was when I became your Angel of Music. I created a new lie." Erik closed his eyes briefly, inwardly berating himself. "I began to give you voice lessons. Your voice soared to new levels, but at the same time, you were not eating enough or getting enough rest. I felt I had to take action, so I sent you to the park. I couldn't leave you alone, though. I just.. I couldn't help myself. And that is when I became Derik."

There was more he could say, yes, but she now knew the reasons behind his lies. She most likely didn't care to hear more, so it was time to say goodbye. Forcing back tears, he said, "Christine, I can never express to you how sorry I am. I created so many lies just to be near you. It was selfish and I behaved thoughtlessly. Now that you know the truth, I will apologize once more and take my leave. I'm sure I have scared you, and for that I am so sorry. You needn't worry anymore, though. You will never have to see me again. I'm leaving Ballad. I won't come back." He softly finished with, "I will never hurt you again." He couldn't say 'goodbye'. His voice wouldn't let him.

With that, Erik stood and began walking away. There were a few belongings he needed to gather from Ballad before he could leave, so he headed towards the music building. As he walked away, he couldn't suppress his tears. His chest was aching, and were he under the impression that he was anything other than a monster, he would perhaps believe that there was a broken heart there.

Christine was very still. She'd listened to all he said, but she was still trying to process it. His enormous lies were mind boggling. His reasons for lying were crazy. His explanation was long and tiring.

And when it came down to it, he did it all for her. He created the identities, the lies, so that he could be near her. Me, it was all for me. But, why am I so important? That, he hadn't explained. There's nothing special about me. I'm just like everybody else, except for the fact that I don't have a mom, which isn't appealing at all. What does he see in me?

He was gone. He'd left without finishing. Now, she'd always question. It would plague her mind for the rest of her life. That's not fair at all. He knew everything about her, so he had to know that she was curious by nature. And yet, he'd left.

"Wait just a damn second," Christine murmured, feeling bolder than usual. With purpose, she stood and began running in the direction Erik had gone. He needed to finish what he started.

Luckily, his figure came into view a few seconds later. He was still walking on the side walk. Really, though, it looked as though he was trudging lifelessly. Christine rushed towards him until she was ahead of him. Then, she stopped and turned to face him. He seemed to freeze in place. Her breathing was rough as she looked at his wide-eyed expression. A look of determination and skepticism was pasted on her face.

There was an awkward silence for about five seconds before Christine's breathing finally calmed enough for her to say, "Look, you can't just leave without finishing."

"Wh-what?" Erik questioned, dumb-founded. His crying had stopped as soon as he saw her, and confusion had taken its place. Now he could only stare at her, the girl he thought he would only see again if she were to become famous and have her picture posted publicly.

Christine sighed. "You gave me an explanation consisting of a back story and how your lies came to be. But, I want more than that. I'm a curious person. You know that. I know that. What I don't understand is why I'm so important. You called me 'unique' when, really, I'm not. What in the world makes you think I am?"

After comprehending her words, Erik's eyes softened. This moment was a blessing, and if there were a god at all, Erik would thank him. As it was, he could only think of how to answer her question. It would be his pleasure to bestow one more truth in her mind. "Christine, you are the most unique person I have ever known. You accepted me. The only other person who has ever accepted me is Antoinette, but even she has her doubts. You befriended me when no one else has. My life was one of loneliness and despair before you entered it, and I am sure you can guess why."

He paused before pointing it out. "My mask. You see, it has been the cause of a large amount of pain in my life. I won't disturb your innocent mind with the details, but just know.. Before you, I wasn't happy. I was never happy. But, you have shown me kindness and loyalty. I couldn't ask for more, and it was completely undeserved." He gazed at her in awe. "You have brought such joy to my life. I'm no angel, but you are. You're kind, loyal, hard-working, modest... You're everything a person should be. Y-you're so talented... You're beautiful. And..." He took one step towards her but stopped himself before taking another. "I love you."

Christine swallowed hard and tried to breathe properly. Well, she certainly hadn't expected anything like that. She didn't know what to think. No one had ever claimed to love her before, and with such.. powerful words. If he hadn't sounded so completely honest, she would have doubted him. She wasn't supposed to trust him, after all. Actually, after everything he'd done, she probably shouldn't have run after him like she had.

But, she couldn't take it back. And if she really thought hard about it, the truth would be that she just didn't want him to leave. Yes, he'd lied, and yes, she wasn't supposed to forgive him, but... He was right- she had accepted him. In fact, she'd considered Phantom, Erik, and Derik to be her best friends. It didn't mean that this Erik was to be considered that, though. Christine didn't know this Erik. Yet, she wanted to. She wanted to know him. Phantom, her false angel, and Derik weren't real, but this man was.

She wanted to know if he could be better than the identities he'd created. But also, she wanted to know if he possessed any of his identities' good qualities. All in all, she just wanted to get to know him.

This was a significant moment, Christine knew. She was about to make a choice, and she just hoped it was a good one. "Erik?"

He looked at her attentively. After having poured his heart out, how would she react? What would she say? "Yes, Christine?" He inwardly prepared himself for more pain.

Christine chewed on her bottom lip for a moment before finally saying, "If you're leaving Ballad because of me, that's not a good reason. If you're leaving for another reason, let me know. But, if you're leaving for the first reason, I just want you to know that you don't have to." She wondered if what she'd said made any sense.

Erik's head tilted to one side. "Forgive me, but.. what?"

She laughed a little, which was surprising to both of them. "Well, I just... I don't want you to leave."

He gasped. "You don't?" he whispered sharply.

"I want to.. get to know you. I got to know Phantom, Erik, and Derik, but I don't know you. And, well, letting me get to know you is the least you could do, I guess. I mean, I deserve it, don't you think?"

He was just full of surprise. She wants to get to know me? "I-I don't understand. What I mean is that, yes, you deserve the world, but why would you want anything to do with me? After all I have done, should you not be glad that I'm leaving?"

Christine considered that. "I would never be 'glad'. After everything that's happened, I couldn't possibly be 'glad'. But, if you stay and if you open up to me and let me get to know you, then I can be satisfied. 'Satisfied' is a good start, I think. So, what I need to know is, will you stay?"

He went over it in his mind, yet he still couldn't make sense of it. Hesitantly, he asked, "It's what you want?" She nodded once. Still unsure but not being able to deny her anything, he said, "Well then, yes, I will stay."

"Ok," Christine whispered, already thinking of questions for him.

"Ok," Erik repeated wondering what on earth was going through her mind.

"Would you like to go sit on the bench again?" she asked.

Erik nodded. "If that is what you want." From now on, he would do things the right way. No more lies. Christine wanted to get to know him? Well, there was a lot to know.

He only hoped she would always want him to stay. Perhaps that was too much to ask, though. Time would tell if she could ever forgive him. There would probably never be trust, though. And without trust, there could be no love. If she couldn't love him, that was ok. It was to be expected. But, he would always love her and he would always do right by her. Always...

I'm SO SORRY I haven't updated in such a long time! After taking the time to write this chapter today, I don't really know why it's taken me nearly five months to get it down. I'll just have to blame in on writer's block. It's evil, it really is.

But, I really hope you liked this. There is more to come. One of the genres of this story is romance, and I'm still planning on putting it in here haha.

I want to thank reviewers so much! You all are the best! Although my infrequent updates don't really show it, I want you to know that you make me want to write :) Thank you so much!

Please don't give up on me. And, as always, please review!

-Lauren