Chapter 19

Erik couldn't stop staring at Christine as they walked towards their usual bench. He wanted to remember this astounding, shocking, surprising moment, as it could very well end soon.

Once they were sitting again, he decided to voice his thoughts. "I-I wasn't prepared for this."

A still skeptical Christine glanced at him and asked, "What do you mean?"

He could sense her apprehension, which was completely understandable. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel anything other than happiness, though, so as long as she was willing to listen, he was going to talk. After all, that's what she said she wanted- to get to know him. "My plan had been to tell you the truth and move away from Ballad so that you wouldn't have to see me again."

"Do you really live in the music building at Ballad?" Christine hadn't known that would be her first question, but she supposed they had to start somewhere.

Erik, prepared for anything, nodded. "Yes, I live in the basement. It isn't as bad as one would think, either." Thinking about it, he shrugged. "Well, perhaps that is only because I am used to it."

"Don't you get lonely?"

"I used to. But, that was before… Well, that was before you."

She looked down, unsure of how to take that.

"Actually," Erik said quickly, not wanting her to feel uncomfortable. "The music building really isn't a boring place. There is always something going on during the day. Students practicing, classes, music lessons, concerts."

"How long have you lived there?"

Her short, abrupt questions were a bit nerve wracking… "About fifteen years."

"Whoa, that's a long time." Thinking of another question, she asked, "How old are you?"

"Twenty-five." Erik couldn't help but hope she wouldn't find their age difference to be too much. How would she feel knowing that a man seven years older than herself was in love with her?

Christine wasn't even focusing on that. "Wait a second. You've lived at Ballad since you were ten years old?" He nodded. "And Madame Giry knew about it the whole time?"

Erik nodded again, confused. Where is she going with this?

"But, you were just a child. No child needs to live in a music building basement all alone. That must have been so scary for you. Why couldn't she have taken you in?"

Christine was just so caring. She was concerned for his well-being, which was completely undeserved.

Erik became serious then. "I didn't want her to take me in. I didn't want to be seen by anyone. She obliged, and I am grateful to this day." He paused. "You must be wondering why I came here when I was ten. Where were my parents, you may ask. Well, they abandoned me. I was left on the streets to fend for myself. They told me that it was because of my appearance. They wanted nothing to do with a monster. Of course, their decision to leave me was a sort of blessing. Anything would have been better than the abuse I received at home. Although, life on the streets was cruel, too. Remember when Phantom told you that he was visited by an angel?" She nodded. "Well, Antoinette was that angel. When she found me, I suppose I was.. ready to be found."

This was… too much. Christine had just learned Erik's true identity, and now this? She knew he was sugar coating what he was saying, too. It was sick. It was wrong. And no wonder.. If all that he was saying was true about his past, then it was no wonder he had been hiding from her for so long. She shook her head in disbelief. "I'm sorry.. I-I didn't know."

Erik blinked, coming out of thoughts from his past. "What?"

"I didn't know your past was so horrible."

She was sorry? That was ridiculous. He had to cut in. "You had no way of knowing. Christine, please don't be sorry. I'm not telling you any of this to receive pity. You wanted to get to know me. But, I don't want to upset you. The last thing I want is to upset you."

Christine's brow furrowed. He was just so nice to her, as if his own feeling didn't matter. "You shouldn't be concerned about upsetting me. Shouldn't saying those things be upsetting you, though? I mean, I don't want you to feel like you're reliving your past." She shuddered at the thought.

Erik regarded her with soft eyes. She was just so unique. No one else had ever cared for his feelings before. It was like she was seeing past his outward appearance. Well, that was stretching it. No one can see past this, his mind whispered.

The sudden sad look in his eyes made Christine say," "It is upsetting you, isn't it?"

"No," Erik reassured. "It isn't upsetting me. It's just… no one has ever cared before."

"Well, I guess I'm just different."

"Yes, you are that." He stared at her in awe, still hardly believing this conversation was taking place.

It was time to lighten the moment, Christine decided. "I will say one thing. It's almost admirable that you were able to be a ghost, an angel, Phantom, and Derik. All at the same time. Wasn't it exhausting?" Well, this was strange. Since I'm joking about it, does that mean I'm actually accepting it?

Erik sighed just thinking about how exhausting it really had been. "Yes, I suppose it was rather exhausting. At first, everything was fine. I felt fully capable of keeping my true identity hidden. However, once Derik came into the picture, everything became much more difficult. I suppose it's also due to the fact that I was getting to know you more and more.

"It wasn't until it was too late that I realized what the lies were causing. I was foolish. So foolish. My only excuse is that I felt you wouldn't understand if you were to know the truth. I didn't think you would accept me."

Christine let out a heavy sigh while thinking things through. Everything had seemed like such a mess right before and right after being told the truth.

His explanation made so much sense, though. Basically, what it came down to was how he viewed himself. He'd been raised to hate himself, and that hatred had lasted all this time. It was no wonder he felt the need to hide his true identity. Really, it must have felt good not having to be himself for a while. He was sorry, too, that was for sure.

So, who couldn't understand and forgive him? Is it stupid of me to believe him now? What if he's just saying all of this because he knows how I'll react? He does know me really well, after all.

Christine wasn't aware of the fact that her silence was going on for over a minute. Erik was satisfied to simply watch her think, but at the same time, the silence was agonizing. "It's unacceptable, I realize that," Erik said softly. "Nothing can erase the pain you've had to endure. I can never apologize enough. No apology can be enough. Should I-… Should I leave now?"

"I forgive you," Christine whispered. Truthfully, his words had made the decision for her.

…Erik was startled, to say the least. "What? You do?"

"Yes." She was sure. It felt good to be sure of something, she thought with a slight grin.

Part of him didn't want to press the matter further. She'd forgiven him, which was more than he could have hoped for. But, a bigger part of him wanted to be sure she knew what she was saying. The bigger part won. "But, how? How can you fogive me? After all that I did… I lied to you. I betrayed your trust. On top of that, I have barely begun to deserve anything from you. Neither my explanation nor my excuses have been enough. How can you even believe me for that matter?" The words flew from his mouth so rapidly that he was out of breath by the end.

Christine chuckled, finally finding some humor in all this. "Wow… Well, I guess I believe you because I know you. And, I know I know you because you really aren't so different from your other identities. And, I know that because of the conversation we've been having for the past half hour. You're sincere. And nice. And a gentleman. You're not like most guys." The fact that she was admitting that caused her to blush. What she was saying was also confusing, though. So, if he's not so different from Phantom, Derik, or Erik the angel, then what does that mean?

There was a time when she'd seriously thought she liked Phantom. All three of them had been the 'people' she felt closest to. They knew everything about her. They understood her.

And, as it turned out, they loved her. He loves me. Christine blinked, suddenly realizing just how important that was. This sweet, caring, wonderful man loves me…

Christine wanted to be sure, though. Before anything else was to transpire, she wanted to be completely sure. She'd been hurt once tonight, and she didn't want it to happen again. "Can I ask you something, Erik?"

He treasured his name on her lips. "Of course," he replied, although he was really just waiting for her to take back her words. Her forgiveness was too good to be true.

"Well," Christine began, looking down. "When did you realize you had feelings for me?"

Erik decided not to over-analyze the way she looked when asking that question. It was understandable that she would ask about his feelings for her. She must be scared to death, for she knows that a monster loves her.

"It was after I first met you at the park as Derik. The fact that I would come to care for you as more than a friend and as more than a pupil was inevitable. Only, I didn't realize it. The feeling hit me abruptly, and with tremendous force. Love. I never even thought I would recognize it, let alone feel it. But, I have never been so sure of anything. I love you more than I can say." Perhaps his honesty would be the thing that scared her away. He'd made a vow to always do right by her, though. 'Doing right' meant being honest.

"Well…" Christine took a few deep breaths. He'd just confirmed it. There was no denying his feelings for her. Taking in everything he said, there was also no denying her feelings for him. She supposed it was just as he said. It really was inevitable.

She gazed into his expressive light blue eyes. He seemed to be looking at her the exact way she was looking at him. Do I say it now, just as bluntly as he said it?

The answer to that question was obvious. "I love you, too."

Erik nearly fell off the bench.

Wow, another story update. That's a change from the usual.

This just happened to come to me while I was at work, so I wrote it down. I do hope you liked it.

I want to thank everyone who read and reviewed chapter 18! Thank you!

Please leave a review for this chapter :)

-Lauren