Took a little bit longer with this, and I'll admit, it's a little bit of a fluff filler. Hope you guys don't mind too much. Again, thank you for all the support, you guys are awesome and I am honestly glad for every review, favourite and alert I get. :) And just as a quick disclaimer, I am in no way associated with any of the bands mentioned. I just think they're either apt for Damon or Elena, or I adore their music. ;)
Elena found herself unable to berate Damon's plan when she promptly fell asleep before they'd even left Mystic Falls. Elena had said her goodbyes to Jenna and Jeremy, and silently noted that she'd need to call her brother and ask him just what he'd meant in the kitchen. Then she'd driven her car round to the old Salvatore boarding house, and crept inside carefully. She hadn't been by the boarding house in months. There were too many memories of this old place, and she'd found herself terminally unable to move past them. The house felt empty - Elena supposed it was because she knew Stefan wouldn't be here. Because she knew that Damon was leaving with her. Elena wondered what would happen to the place. Not that it was any of her concern.
Damon had been waiting for her. He had nothing but a small duffel bag at his feet. Elena had eyed it suspiciously, but knew better than to ask what was in it. Knowing Damon, it would be something that would make her wish she had never asked. Elena didn't know why this felt like she was leaving her home town forever, but it did. She had to keep telling herself that she could come back whenever she liked, and she'd probably be back home for the holidays soon, anyway. But it felt oddly sad and empty, watching Damon walk out of the boarding house. Elena hadn't said much before she'd dropped off to sleep again - she'd given Damon her car keys and told him to look after it. They'd barely been on the road five minutes when she passed out.
Elena wondered whether it was the semi-hangover or just sheer exhaustion from the night before, but she slept dreamlessly. She shut her eyes, and then the next moment, once she opened them again, they were out on the open road. Elena groaned slightly at her sleepiness. She was hopeless - a night out and she was unable to function the next day. Elena rubbed her face, trying to wake herself up. She looked over to the driver's side of the car, and sure enough, there was Damon, driving with one hand on the wheel, completely lax. He had the stereo on. He was listening to The Rolling Stones. Elena grabbed a bottle of water from the door pocket where she'd stashed it before she'd left the house.
"How long was I out?" Elena asked. Damon looked over at her briefly, shrugging before turning his eyes back to the road.
"Half an hour or so? I honestly haven't been paying attention to your sleep patterns. Trying to find a decent radio station around here is a nightmare." Damon spoke like it was the crime of the century, but Elena knew he was joking.
"The Rolling Stones?" Elena asked, curious about his choice of music.
"What, you don't like them?" Damon asked her. Elena shrugged.
"Not really," Elena admitted. The classic rock was more Jeremy's end of the scale. Elena was mellower, laid back. She could stand rock bands, but it wasn't her favourite. Damon glanced at her again, as if he was trying to decide how this fact changed his opinion of her. Elena noticed this. "You're going to tell me they're your favourite band, aren't you?" Damon shrugged.
"Saw them back in '66 in New York. The Stones had some real nice groupies." Elena looked at Damon, taking a slug from her water bottle before slipping it back into the car door pocket. It was weird, but the fact made Damon seem oddly human. She'd never thought about Damon Salvatore being connected to silly, trivial things like favourite bands. Even though they were talking about an event that had taken place over twenty five years before she was even born, Damon had never felt more real to her. Not for a long time, anyway. Elena stared out at the road, trying to clear her mind. Obviously, the alcohol was doing far more damage than she'd thought. She reminded herself never to go off the rails like that again. She'd been so careful for the last few months - what a way to blow it all out of the ocean.
"Trust you to think of the groupies," Elena muttered under her breath. Damon smirked. Elena had to stop herself from sighing - for someone so completely volatile, he was so predictable sometimes.
"So come on then, if you don't like rock, what do you like?" Damon asked. Elena opened her mouth to speak, but she couldn't decide on what to say. In what seemed like another lifetime, before her parents died, Elena had loved dance music. Anything with a beat, anything she could just let loose and go wild to. But after her parents died, that kind of music had seemed wildly inappropriate. Elena had moved to the softer, mellower music, and had also taken to listening to some of her mother's old swing and jazz collections. Smooth, easy songs like 'Mack the Knife' had been the closest she'd gotten to upbeat. And then with all the vampire craziness, Elena had barely had time to listen to music. Anything new she'd listened to in the last four months could also be categorised quite nicely - 'break up songs'.
Elena settled for the middle ground. Something she knew she'd still like in twenty years time. "Jazz. You know the big band stuff that's only good when it's live." Damon looked at her like he was genuinely surprised.
"You don't seem like the jazz type." Damon told her.
"My mother was. Your parents play something they like loud enough, and then you end up liking it too. Didn't that ever happen to you?" Elena asked. Damon shrugged.
"My mother died when I was young. My father and I didn't get on much - I liked to rebel against everything he tried to make me be. So no, it didn't." Damon spoke with the kind of cold detachment that scared Elena half to death. It was the 'I don't care' tone Damon used. Elena knew fine well it was a cover up, because Damon didn't want to show how he really felt. She hated it. She hated when he tried to close himself off like this. But on this particular point, Elena knew it would be foolish to push him.
"Frank Sinatra." Elena blurted, trying to draw the subject to something less painful. Parents were a touchy subject for both of them.
"What?" Damon asked.
"Sinatra. I like him." Elena clarified. Damon shrugged.
"Each to his own. Could be worse, I suppose." Damon reasoned. Elena arched an eyebrow.
"Glad you approve, Mr Salvatore," Elena said, in a way that made it clear that she didn't care if he approved or not.
"Any time, Miss Gilbert." Damon replied, his ever present cocky grin back in place. Elena sighed, turning her head to look out the side window. How could he be so casual? He had left her for months on end, and had spent some time drinking (after all, she'd seen him at the Grill). He'd walked out of her life without a backwards glance or a parting word, and now he waltzed back in like nothing had changed. Elena had tried to stay mad at him. She'd tried to be harsh, to tell him no, he did not get to act like nothing happened. But she was failing. Why did she always fail at keeping Damon Salvatore out? Was it really so hard, so complicated? Elena couldn't see why it would be, but the evidence said otherwise. It had been less than a day, and already they were casually discussing music tastes. Where was the justice? Elena had been in pain over him and everyone else leaving her alone for months, and now she had the chance to retaliate, she just let it slide by. She was pathetic. Elena hated her sense of righteousness. It was twisted when it came to Damon.
Damon was obviously in some sort of perceptive mood, however, because Elena found that she wasn't left alone for long. "You're upset with me." Damon said. It was a statement, not a question. "If it was the Sinatra comment, I take it all back." Damon promised her. Elena sighed, glancing over at him. He was trying to look innocent, but with Damon, it just didn't work.
"It's not about Sinatra. You left, Damon. You didn't even tell me you were leaving. You could have been dead in a ditch for all I knew," Elena told him.
"Not likely," Damon scoffed. Elena stared at him.
"That's not the point and you know it." Damon didn't even respond. Silence crawled out until Elena couldn't handle his detachment anymore. "Why did you leave?" Elena pushed. She knew there was a reason, and it was close. She could almost see it there, just out of reach, locked up inside Damon's puzzle of a mind. For a moment, Elena thought he was going to answer. But then the radio started playing a new song and Elena knew he wasn't going to. She sighed, exasperatedly, looking back out of the passenger window, staring at the scenery flashing past. The sounds of Queen echoed around her mind, devouring all the thoughts of disappointment and anger simmering in her mind. Elena focused on the music - better than concentrating on the alternative.
"I left because I had to." Damon said, so softly that Elena almost missed it. She peered back over at Damon, his eyes dead ahead, driving down the road. Elena's brow creased. It was better than no answer at all, sure enough, but it was still evasive. After all they'd been through; he still refused to tell her things. Elena supposed she shouldn't be surprised - this was Damon they were talking about.
"Don't pretend that I'm the only one who walked away from that town, Elena. Because you know I'm not." Damon warned her. Elena cast her eyes downwards guiltily. He was right. Everyone else had cut and run. Why was he different? Why should he be different?
"At least they had the decency to say goodbye." Elena protested. Damon smiled vaguely at some joke Elena obviously didn't get. However, he just turned his attention back to the road and shut her out. Elena watched out the window once more, deciding it was safer. Deep down inside, Elena knew that the fact they had said goodbye made no difference at all. Damon was just different. Why was he different? She still missed Stefan, didn't she? And she missed Caroline and Bonnie too. So why was she mad at Damon for leaving? Maybe it was just showing because he had come back.
Not wanting to reason it out any longer, Elena distracted herself by leaning over and turning up the radio, letting the hammering notes of Damon's classic rock take over her brain. It was easier that way. She refused to let herself think of all the evasions.
Why did she always give up and take the easy option?
Silence spun out for minutes on end, with nothing said but the words of the music. Elena had given up on Damon a long time ago. After what seemed like an eternity, Damon changed the radio station when the signal on the rock station got so poor, the stereo was hissing more than it was playing music. Damon pushed in the button for Elena's number one preset station. He arched an eyebrow when jazz music replaced the hissing rock. He looked sideways at Elena, who was still distracted, gazing out the window. "Really?" he asked, like he was genuinely surprised.
Elena shrugged. "I honestly can't stand most of the radio stations around here. Too mainstream." Damon tilted his head slightly, considering the alternatives.
"True. We seem to have moved into the age of terrible music being standard." Elena listened to the notes of the music for a moment, feeling herself relaxing already.
"Can you honestly say you've never once thought this was the most perfect music on earth?" Elena asked. Damon seemed to think about.
"There was once. Jazz club. 19...45, maybe? Best night of my life," Damon conceded, grinning. Elena knew he was joking.
"Did it involve alcohol and women?" Elena mocked.
"Oh, most nights of my life involve one or the other. The very best involve both." That cocky smirk was plastered all over his face again. Elena knew he was teasing her, and he didn't mean that night at all, but Elena remembered one particular night, that had involved plenty of alcohol and one particular woman. The night after it was all over. Stefan had been out, being responsible and doing damage control, taking care of Bonnie and Caroline. He'd entrusted her to Damon, and they had been the only two in the boarding house. He'd drunk something in celebration, although he hadn't been literally drunk. But it had involved alcohol. And despite the fact they had just been sitting together, laughing, joking and celebrating, Elena was still a woman. But Damon wouldn't mean that one night of celebration. He would never mean that.
But wasn't it sad that her mind jumped to it when he spoke of that situation?
"Sometimes I worry about you, Mr. Salvatore," Elena teased back, trying not to smile.
"Oh, really? Why ever would you do that?"
"Because one day you're going to grow out of spirits and girls, and where will you be then?" Elena proposed. Damon smirked at her amused.
"Then let's hope that day is very far away." Damon said. A tiny little thought crept into Elena's mind, one that she battered away before it could make an impact. But she'd gotten the message.
'What if he's saying that because there really is nothing else?'
Elena had never imagined eternity in this world to be quite such an empty and lonely place.
Damon pulled over into a cafe just over the North Carolina border, the one Elena normally stopped at. They had made good time, but it was still another two hours back to Duke. Damon had also made a point of informing her that he didn't like her car that much. He wanted his Chevy back. Elena had, again, been struck by how much of a guy Damon was, under all the vampire bravado. But she supposed they'd never really had a chance to just be Damon and Elena in their time together. It had always been tainted by the events in town, marking out the distinction between them. But now, it was easier to miss. Easier to see Damon as a person who loved The Rolling Stones and loved classic cars. Elena couldn't deny it any more.
She'd missed Damon the most because she didn't know him. She knew him, but there were so many missed opportunities when it came to Damon. Blanks that had never been filled in. She wanted to know Damon. And in all honesty, Elena thought that she really needed a familiar face. There was no glitch in their pit stop. Damon teased her for adding sugar to her coffee. She teased him back over some other nonsense. The only slight blip was a man sitting at the opposite side of the cafe. He stared at her like she was a ghost, before getting up and leaving, never once looking away from her. But Elena dismissed it. She had been seeing demons and killers in every corner of her life recently. Besides she was with Damon. With Damon, she was safe.
(With Damon, she was home.)
