I owe you guys once more for all the lovely reviews. I apologise I took so long with this, and I apologise for the fact there's no D/E. Next couple of chapters will hopefully make up for it, I promise! Elena's being difficult right now, but she might make up for it all very soon. ;) As always, any thoughts you have are welcome, I read every review and really love hearing what you think. =D

Thursday nights became something of a routine for Elena after that point. Meredith was always out with one friend or another, so Damon always came over. They didn't necessarily stay in, though. One night, they went out to a little place that was as much of a hangout as the Mystic Grill had been for Elena. There was good food, good music and pool. Plus a bar for Damon. Sometimes, they went over there and just messed around. Other nights, Damon took her further afield - movies, bowling, even a late night shopping district. Just once, though. Damon wasn't a shopping kind of person. But it had been the end of November and Damon had announced with enough irony to sink a cruise liner that he wanted all his Christmas presents bought early this year. Elena had obliged - she needed to buy things even if Damon didn't. The night had even been successful - she'd bought something for everyone. Everyone apart from Damon, anyway. He was ridiculously hard to buy for.

However Elena couldn't help but feel...stranded. She was the one who had started the Thursday night tradition, the one who kept it going. She had a feeling Damon wouldn't even come if she didn't keep asking. She felt like he'd cut himself off from her. There were so many walls between them, and Elena knew when they'd started to build themselves up again. She could put it down to the very moment. The moment that she turned away from Damon when he'd tried to kiss her. The moment she'd said 'no'. The walls had been temporarily suspended whilst she was busy puking up her guts, but after that? Damon had taken their relationship more or less back to square one. Apart from the fact that she wasn't scared of Damon anymore. She still trusted him, and as far as she knew, he wasn't murdering anyone. But apart from those few scant facts, their relationship was all the way back to how it had started two years ago. Or at least, that was how Elena felt.

She was honestly scared she was losing Damon. She didn't want to lose him. But she just had this feeling he was only staying to protect her. Nothing more had turned up about the man who'd called her Katherine. But the silence had made her more anxious rather than less. She couldn't help but feel they were watching her. Waiting for the right time. These days, Elena was only ever out with Damon close by for the precise reason of her protection. And when she wasn't out, she was safe in her flat. There hadn't been an opportunity for an attack so far. Elena couldn't help but feel they were waiting for one. It was a worry, true. But Elena felt it was eclipsed by Damon. He was becoming the biggest worry in her life, and she really had no idea what to do about it.

In Elena's opinion, she was trying everything she could. She was with him every Thursday, trying to make up for her mistakes. She was perfectly friendly during classes. She wasn't doing anything wrong. She was trying. She was trying so hard to make up for everything she'd done wrong by him. But she could see it wasn't enough. In the month or so she'd been trying to do something, she hadn't seen evidence that she'd taken down a single barrier between them. Elena was afraid that she wouldn't be able to fix it. She was so worried that she just couldn't do it, that she didn't have the ability. That for once, this was something in Damon that she wouldn't be able to mend. But she'd spent over a month trying. There was nothing left to try, nothing left to do. Elena was spent. She was honestly looking forward to the holidays.

It was early December, and classes were due to stop in less than two weeks. Elena was looking forward to going back to Mystic Falls. She hadn't been back since she'd left in October with Damon. It was new for her - she'd been going back every second or third weekend ever since she'd gone to Duke. But she hadn't felt she'd needed to go back as much anymore. Jenna had phoned though, to check that Elena was coming home for the holidays. Elena had assured her that she wouldn't miss it for the world.

It was a Sunday night. Elena was sitting in the lounge, writing in her journal when Meredith came through. She had a piece of paper in her hand, which she abandoned on their coffee table before going to make a cup of tea. Meredith seemed preoccupied. Elena wondered what it was all about. Lifting her pen from the page, she leaned over, peering at the rectangle of stiff, thick, expensive card that lay on the table where Meredith had abandoned it. It was decorated in swirling, eloquent patterns that embellished the piece of paper to a level of inferred high class elegance. The writing on the paper was done with the equal amount of class. It was an invite to the History Department's Winter Ball. Elena peered over to Meredith.

"Worrying over what you're going to wear to the ball?" Elena asked, lightly teasing her friend. Meredith looked up from the kettle, peering at Elena. When she saw her holding up the invite, Meredith smiled.

"Something like that," Meredith admitted.

"Well, you look fabulous in anything, so I'm sure you'll be fine."

"It's not that easy," Meredith said, amused. She pulled a mug out of the cupboard. "Want a drink?"

"Please." Meredith nodded, lifting a second mug out of the cupboard. She started working away, making their drinks. "So why isn't it that simple?"

"The History Department always run this ball. It's fabulous, apparently, but it's typical. Everyone has to wear something 'historical'. You don't get away with walking into store and buy a dress off of the rack."

"So it's like a themed dance?" Elena asked, thinking of the decade dances Mystic High had done.

"Yeah." Meredith agreed, bringing the mugs over. Elena closed over her journal, laying it on the coffee table with Meredith's invite. "A lot of people go for proper history, though. Like Austen period England fashions, and 'southern belle' fashion here and it all gets so complicated."

"Couldn't you just go 80s and roll with it?" Elena suggested. Meredith laughed.

"I could, I suppose. I don't know, I kind of wanted to do something special," Meredith admitted. Elena glanced down at the invite. The party sounded amazing, and the planning...it was almost an old throwback to her carefree days planning fundraisers with Bonnie and Caroline. Before everything fell apart.

"It sounds like a lot of fun." Elena didn't realise how much longing there must have been in her voice, because Meredith smiled vaguely and looked at Elena curiously.

"Do you want to come too?" Meredith asked with a smile on her lips. It was the first time Elena had volunteered to go to a big party like this, if even indirectly. Elena smiled back.

"I'd love to, if that's okay," Elena said warmly. Meredith nodded.

"We get a plus one, and I don't exactly have a guy to take." Elena smiled.

"I hope I make a worthy substitute." Elena was looking forward to this party already. "So I guess both of us need outfits now." Meredith laughed.

"Yes, we do. 80s throwback for you, is it?" Meredith teased. Elena grinned.

"No, I'm thinking something special too." This was a party; Elena wanted to make an effort. She almost reminded herself of old Elena. The Elena that was confident, self-assured and a cheerleader with the star football player as her boyfriend. The one who had loved parties and socialising and every normal thing about life. The Elena who still had parents. The Elena who didn't know or worry about anything supernatural. That Elena was long gone, and she knew that was the case. But her excitement reminded her of that girl, just a little. Damon had brought her back. The man was a miracle worker.

Elena sipped at her tea, nursing the mug Meredith had brought her. However, she frowned when a familiar taste passed her lips, filling her mouth and penetrating her body. It was so familiar, yet Elena didn't understand why Meredith had given her it. After all, it wasn't as if vervain tea was the most common tea in the box. Meredith noticed her frown.

"I know the tea is strange, but you get used to it," she encouraged. Elena looked up at her friend, wondering what she was missing.

"What is this? I don't think I've ever tried it before," Elena asked, trying her best innocent voice. It seemed to work.

"Oh, it's made from this plant called vervain. We were talking about it in class; it used to be really common in some areas, and people used it to make tea. You know, some people even believed it offered protection from dark and demonic powers, like witchcraft." The amused smile on Meredith's face made her think that she didn't believe a word of that fable. But Elena couldn't be sure anymore. She wanted to trust Meredith, but what was she supposed to do?

"Sounds interesting," Elena replied quietly. Meredith smiled.

"After we talked about it, I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. I like it, protection from evil or not," Meredith told her. Elena sipped some more of the tea.

"It's different," She admitted, making it sound like she didn't like it. Elena could help but be hyper- aware of the bracelet at her wrist, laden with vervain. She supposed she should be happy Meredith was drinking vervain, but she felt uneasy about the reasons why. Elena figured she was just being overcautious, but there was just a feeling that she couldn't shake.

"So anyway, I know a rental place in town. We could go over next weekend, see what outfits they've got?" Meredith suggested. Elena nodded. She didn't know what else to do.

On the one hand, Meredith was drinking vervain, and dosing Elena with it too. That fact alone made Elena think that she knew something. But how? Elena hadn't been aware of any vampire-like activity in the area. Damon was being subtle; she knew he was. Maybe Meredith had only just discovered the reality of vampires and was being cautious. But if so, when and how? Or was Meredith a threat? Had she worked out that Damon was a vampire? Was Meredith some weird vampire hunter like Alaric had been when they'd first met? Did it mean that she was one false move away from losing Damon? Elena closed her eyes, trying to think. She couldn't lose him. She might be losing him emotionally as it was, but if Damon was dead...it would kill her. Elena knew she was being dramatic, and as much as she had once wanted Damon out of her life, and as much she'd been able to live without him from July until October, Elena Gilbert didn't think she could imagine a world without Damon Salvatore. It just didn't work. Damon had to be in it somewhere, drinking the days away. She felt empty inside as she imagined Damon with a stake through his heart. The pain, the hysteria, it was there. Elena could feel it, and she knew if she lost Damon, it would be like a volcano erupting. It would change her forever, and it wouldn't be for the better. She'd be like Pompeii - the real Elena would be buried under a large pile of ash and smouldering, scarred rock for a very, very long time.

She couldn't help but wonder what her hysteria over the very thought of losing Damon meant.

Instead of answering her own question, Elena brushed it aside and considered what to do. She certainly couldn't confront Meredith, because that would blow everything into the open. All her knowledge of vampires and werewolves and witches and her life for the past two years. If Meredith was some secret psychotic hunter, Elena didn't want to do that. She didn't want to do anything until she was sure. Elena liked to have plans a, b and c in place before she made her move. After all, the vervain could be a coincidence. It had been common in certain areas years and years ago. Maybe people had used it for tea. Maybe it was all just a weird bout of happenstance. It was unlikely given Elena's track record, but she liked to imagine. She liked to hope. She had to.

Out of all the options, there was one thing she couldn't do. Tell Damon. He'd torture Meredith for information before Elena could say 'Please, Damon, you don't have to do this'. Or he would just kill her in half the time. Damon always went for those routes, never considering the other path that didn't involve pain and death. Elena wanted to look at every option and get all the facts before she even thought about what her plan of action was. Because frankly, Meredith was still her friend. Elena still vaguely trusted her, and still liked the girl. She just felt like Meredith was keeping a secret. But what was to be done? Elena was keeping secrets too, after all. She had absolutely no right to talk.

In the end, Elena pretended that nothing had happened. She went through class the next week without a word to Damon on the matter. She hid Meredith's stock of vervain in an airtight jar to stop Damon finding it. Everything was fine. Well, there were still the problems of being mistaken for her doppelganger and Damon being an emotional country mile from her, but in relative terms, that wasn't bad for her life. Elena didn't mention a word to Meredith, apart from mentioning that the tea was rather an acquired taste. Elena already had the bracelet; she didn't need to start ingesting vervain too. Her concerns were relaxed slightly when Meredith stopped feeding her the tea. Maybe this was just one huge coincidence after all.

The costume rental store was something of an escape for Elena. Meredith and Elena headed over the following Saturday, just six days before the party. Six days before term ended for the holidays. If she could last these six days, she wouldn't need to think about what Meredith Sulez may or may not be until January. That was a plus point, and it was the hope Elena was clinging to. She liked Meredith; that was why it was so hard to consider her as a threat. The threat wasn't even to herself, but to Damon. And Elena cared about Damon. Despite the fact he seemed to want nothing to do with her right now, Elena would protect him. He put his life on her line for her so many times - no matter what he said, Elena still cared about him, would still try to pay him back. She owed him this. She'd been investigating Meredith's room carefully and methodically while she was alone in the flat. She was yet to find an arsenal behind a false panel in the wardrobe. It reassured her.

When they entered the rental store, Elena thought it looked poky and tacky. It sold the usual tat, and Elena didn't see that many costumes. She glanced sideways at Meredith, as if to ask if she was sure this was the right place. Meredith just smiled and went up to the young woman at the counter.

"Hi, we're here about costume rentals - I phoned yesterday?" Meredith asked. The young woman smiled.

"Sure, just go through the back. Audrey will be happy to help," she replied, indicating a doorway covered by a bead curtain. Meredith nodded and headed through, closely followed by Elena. When Elena walked through, she thought that she'd never seen anything more stuffed full. There were rails and rails of plastic bags, containing what could only but hundreds of costumes. There were little labels on the racks, categorising all the outfits. There was a small counter in one corner of the room, to the side of which was a podium with three full length mirrors. There was also a couch and another open doorway, through which Elena assumed, was a changing room. She'd never seen anything like it in her life.

There was another woman behind the counter, kind looking, and maybe in her fifties. Elena could easily see her as a seamstress. The woman, who could only be Audrey, looked up when they came through. She smiled warmly.

"How can I help you ladies?" she asked.

"We're looking to rent costumes out for next Friday night," Meredith explained. Audrey nodded, getting to her feet.

"Well then, I think I can do that for you. What are you looking for?"

Audrey raked through the rails and began handing Meredith and Elena dresses. They went through hundreds of periods - old English royal courts and medieval styles, Italian Renaissance and more recent periods like the 20s, the 40s and the 80s. They tried on dozens of colours and styles until eventually, they had outfits. As Elena stood in her dress in front of the mirror, she knew this was the one. She knew this was it. She loved the dress so much, loved how it looked on her. Audrey, the shop assistant, dug through some shelves, before pulling a wooden lacquer box out.

"These normally go with the dress." She said it simply. Elena turned to Meredith.

"What do you think?" Meredith lifted the necklace from the box Audrey held, and walked over and fastened it around Elena's neck, before surveying her.

"It's perfect."

It was weird and extremely disconcerting for Elena. But as her and Meredith stood back in their own clothes, booking the dresses out for next Friday, Elena could only be disappointed that Damon would never see her in this dress.

How warped was that?