Stage 4: Human

There are three important things to know about bamboo.

First of all, it is grass, not a tree. This fact is important in a situation if you are cutting it down and suddenly blood crazed druids start pouring out at you from every direction, waving their axes and sputtering saliva around, screaming that you must leave their trees alone. Although you would probably be distracted by the fact they are all naked and covered in blue paint, you should retain your composure and calmly explain to them that it's just grass you are destroying, not trees.

The second fact to know about bamboo is that it grows very, very fast. It is important in situations like when before mentioned druids strip you and strap you down to the ground, spread eagle, right above the young bamboo growth. It is important, because of all the things that would undoubtedly go through your mind at that point, like, for example, why the hell there are Celtic barbarians in a bamboo forest, you would definitely know that dozens of tiny spikes digging into your flesh and causing you unimaginable pain are just young bamboo stems, nothing to worry about.

The third fact to know about bamboo is that is edible. So, if after being subjected to a violent torturous death when young sprouts of bamboo grow right through your flesh you ever happen to rise up as a hungry ghost, you can exact your revenge on the fast growing grass and, at the same time, you'll even be able to satiate your ever burning hunger for a while! It's so cool!

"Lady Yuyuko, please, stop eating bamboo," Youmu said for probably tenth time in the last hour. She was walking forward through the growth, cutting stems that were in front of her almost automatically.

And just as automatically, Yuyuko was picking the fallen foliage up and eating it, defying all laws of mass, energy, anatomy and common sense.

"But it is so tasty! And look, we are doing the right and socially acceptable thing, we are creating a path! Soon, travelers from far and wide will follow it, paving it in gold and naming it 'The Way of Youmu Konpaku the Pathfinder'!"

"It would be overgrown in a few days," Youmu wearily said, cutting forward again. "Also, a shielded fairy, to the left."

The new kind of opponent they faced was by far the most annoying one. These fairies surrounded themselves with two layers of spinning danmaku-spewing familiars, and taking them down by conventional means was both extremely time-consuming and tiring.

Of course, Yuyuko's ghostly butterflies existed on drastically different plane of existence, and ignored quite material familiars, danmaku and bamboo, passing right through and slashing the soft fairy bodies into ribbons.

And the wide spread ensured that Yuyuko almost never had to aim. Butterflies flied out, everything around died. Simple, and does not distract from really important things like, for example, industrial-scale bamboo consumption.

"Lady Yuyuko, please, stop eating bamboo," Youmu said probably for eleventh time in the last hour.

"But it is so tasty! Also, look at how messy a path where the bamboo is not being eaten looks!"

Indeed, a little in the distance, another path was crossing theirs, a much wider one. It was also irregular, as if the one who was making it was trying to cover more ground.

"So, should we follow, it lady Yuyuko? We are still lost, so maybe if we ask… No! No! Stop doing that! You can't keep on doing that!"

The last desperate cries were a direct result of Yuyuko moving to the new path, picking up one of the fallen bamboo stems and pushing it in the direction of her open mouth. Youmu rushed forward, grabbing the other end and trying to pull it away.

They struggled for a while, but the situation didn't change, a tug of war that would not end. They struggled, two warriors of equal strength and skill, an epic silent battle that lasted for hours, then days, then weeks…

Okay, not really. It lasted only for about a minute before Yuyuko spoke, in a reverberating, icy-cold voice.

"You can't win, half-human. Your spirit is strong, but your flesh is weak, decaying even as we speak. Give it up."

"No! I won't! If I give up, you will eat the whole forest! Lady Yuyuko, come to your senses, this insane! This is wrong!"

"Sanity is a flawed and artificial concept mortals invented, and I have transcended mortality," Yuyuko continued, her voice becoming more and more inhuman with every word.

"Lady Yuyuko, please, I beg you, listen to reason!"

"Then give me a reason a transcendent being would accept," Yuyuko demanded.

"We don't have time for this! We must restore the moon tonight! Please—"

"Not enough!" Yuyuko howled, and the bamboo stem slipped from Youmu's fingers. She immediately caught it again, but it was merely a few inches from Yuyuko's mouth now.

And so, Youmu realized, this was it, the ultimate test of her body, mind and spirit. Her whole body trembled, sweat dripped down from her forehead, and still, she had to think clearly.

A mistake was unacceptable. A mistake would lead to Yuyuko eating, and eating, and eating until the local farmers would call for a priest to clean up the haunted forest. And so, Reimu Hakurei would enter the forest, and it would end in a lethal danmaku battle, just like it happened last spring…

She could not allow it to happen, for her mistress to get hurt again. She would have to step over her own principles, she would have to lie, to cheat, anything for the victory. It was the only way.

She relaxed inwardly and took a deep breath. There it was. The ultimate test. Pass, and you are the hero. Fail, and everything goes to hell. No pressure. It's easy.

"Lady Yuyuko," she said calmly. "When we entered the path, I saw a glimpse of the dragon in the distance. If we follow, we'll for sure find it."

She paused, and took another deep breath. Keep going. It's easy. Take it easy.

"But if you eat all this bamboo, you will lose your appetite, and you won't be able to enjoy the exquisite dragon meal. So please, follow me and I will lead you to the dragon."

She slowly released her grip. Then she turned, her movements stiff and tense, and took a few steps down the path, every moment expecting the worst, expecting the sound of bamboo being munched to pierce her heart and kill her, leaving her unburied corpse for the rats to feed on.

There was a hollow sound of the bamboo stem falling to the ground, and Youmu inwardly thanked all the holy and benevolent spirits that ever existed, in alphabetical order.

"So, are you going to lead the way or not? I'm hungry for my dragon," Yuyuko said in her normal voice and floated closer. "You know, I didn't see a dragon shape. But I'm eating what's at the end of this road regardless."

She smiled, and Youmu's heart sank. True, she won the battle, but at what cost? A lie was a lie, and it would have to be answered for, and very soon.

Youmu shook her head. No, she could not allow herself to lose focus, she had to remain calm. What, most realistically, could be at the end of the path? Correct, just another bloodthirsty youkai nobody cares about. With some luck, maybe it would even pass up for a dragon in some obscure way.

Youmu returned Yuyuko a false smile and started walking down the new path, keeping an eye out for more fairies. She still felt uneasy, but she tried to look into the future with optimism. After all, there was no way her lie could make things worse than they already were, right?

(O,)

"Oh crap," Youmu said.

If only they didn't find this new path. If only she didn't lie to lead Yuyuko here. If only she stopped Yuyuko at the very beginning, when she was about to eat the first bamboo. If only she was stronger, and could tear that bamboo away with brute strength. If only a thousand more things, it wouldn't have ended like this.

It was a perfect catastrophe, an immaculate disaster, a flawless, epic failure. No, it was more, it was the ultimate punishment, she sinned, she lied to her mistress, a simple, white lie that couldn't possibly hurt, and the world punished her, trialed her, announced her verdict, put her on her knees and lifted a sword to cut her head off.

The clearing at the end of the winding cut-trough path was her scaffold.

Because in the middle of it, looking smug and confident stood Marisa Kirisame, an ordinary black witch.

Youmu closed her eyes and awaited the inevitable. The inevitable didn't wait for long.

"Hey, that is no dragon, that's a human!" Yuyuko behind said with clear disappointment. "What are doing here at the middle of the night?"

Youmu breathed out and dared to open her eyes. Maybe it all would still end peacefully. Maybe she wouldn't have to fight Reimu's best friend. Maybe…

"Oh, nothing much, just hunting some youkai," Marisa said dismissively and walked towards them, stopping ten paces away.

A flicker of hope appeared in Youmu's heart. Up close, Marisa didn't look half as threatening or crazy as others, especially Patchouli, described her. Just an ordinary blonde human in ordinary black witch clothing, with quite ordinary looking broom. Youmu decided to take the situation in her own hands.

"Really? We are hunting youkai too! Do you know who is the villain behind the corrupted moon is?"

"Only fools couldn't figure it out, ze~" Marisa said with a sneer. "Because the ones responsible for it are standing right in front of me!"

She raised her arm to the sky and then, in one strong, confident motion, pointed right at Yuyuko.

The flame of hope in Youmu's heart was brutally snuffed out. The metaphorical blade came down, finishing the execution.

"And I am here to stop you!" Marisa finished, creating with these words a metaphorical grave for all past, present and future Youmu's hopes for a peaceful ending for this encounter.

Yuyuko stepped forward, a serene smile on her face. "So, you know, then. And how do you, an ordinary human, expect to stop us?"

"That's a stupid question, ze~" Marisa said, producing an octagonal amulet from the pocket. "With danmaku, of course!"

"Do you not know who I am?" Yuyuko asked, and for some reason, her voice sounded almost seductive. "I am Yuyuko Saigyouji, princess of Netherworld, and I can cause death in humans with a mere thought."

"It didn't stop Reimu from kicking your ghostly butt last spring, did it? You don't use your powers on just anyone."

"Reimu was a special case," Yuyuko said. Suddenly, her eyes narrowed dangerously. "And you are not, Marisa Kirisame. Leave, right now, or you are going to die."

Marisa laughed. "Do you really believe you can…"

Suddenly, she clutched her heart, a pained and scared look on her face. She took a few uneven steps forward and collapsed on her knees, gasping for air.

Youmu froze. She has never seen her mistress using her power before, and never expected to see it used on someone so energetic, so full of life like Marisa.

She wanted to get away from the dying girl but her legs refused to move, as if they were rooted in place. Marisa crawled closer and to Youmu's unending horror, grabbed her skirt.

"Reimu…" Marisa whispered, her eyes quickly losing light. "Reimu always… told me about you… and all I could…"

Her face contorted in pain. Youmu barely suppressed a scream.

"And all I could… was to watch you from a distance. But now, now I can say it… I love you… Youmu… I..."

Her hand lost grip and Marisa fell down in the mud. Her body twitched once and became very, very still.

Youmu regained the ability to move, which she immediately used to stumble back from the dead girl. Panic was boiling inside of her, sending cold and hot waves over her body. Yuyuko didn't seem to care, looking at the fresh corpse with complete disinterest.

"L-l-lady Y-yuyuko," Youmu stammered, her teeth clanging. "We m-must…"

"Dispose of the body?" Yuyuko said, in a quite irritated voice. "And gee, what would be the best method for that, I wonder?"

Youmu tried to control her breathing, but it was like trying to fight a tornado with a sword made from cheese. She failed to say anything, and Yuyuko continued.

"Unfortunately, there will be a spiritual investigation, and I am going to be prime suspect, so I can't taint myself with her flesh. You, on the other hand…"

She trailed off, and Youmu suddenly understood. Yes, there was no other way. She clenched her teeth and steeled her resolve.

"Lady Yuyuko, I understand and I will do it. For your sake, I will eat the body of Marisa Kirisame."

And as if Youmu didn't endure enough mental suffering that night, the body of Marisa Kirisame started laughing. Then it started rolling on the ground, holding her sides and laughing, laughing, laughing…

Youmu felt strangely calm. She was always afraid of losing her mind, but now, when she clearly have gone off the deep end it was not that bad. Sure, there were social repercussions, she would lose her job and spend the rest of her days in a small white room wall with soft walls, but really, what could she really do? It was too late to struggle at this point anyway.

The rolling stopped and Marisa stood up, snickering. She wiped the mud off her face and examined herself.

"Wow, that's a lot of dirt. Totally worth it though," she said, and snickered again.

It is perfectly okay too, Youmu thought. It's a little comfortable world inside her head where people spontaneously resurrect after they are killed. In reality she probably already started chopping the corpse into chunks that would be small enough for Myon to digest, but here, in this intricate illusion, maybe she and that weird risen Marisa could even become friends…

"But fun is fun, and business is business. I'm still stopping you," Marisa said, putting her hat back and mounting her broom. "So you'd better be prepared, ze~"

"The endless night is the effect, and the moon is the cause," Yuyuko calmly said. "You should be removing the cause."

"Yeah, sure," Marisa agreed and took off in the air. "But the cause I would still have to find, and you are right here. And besides, tomorrow is the autumn festival, and I'd like some sun."

"Well, it's your choice. We won't go easy on you, though. Youmu, stop daydreaming and get ready!"

Youmu silently nodded and took the battle stance. Even in this perfect illusionary world, there still wasn't anything to her life except danmaku battles. Well then, so be it.

"So, it's two against one, eh?" Marisa said, drawing out her spell octagon. "In this case, I get two tries! Magic Sign: Milky Way!"

Marisa Kirisame wasn't a youkai, a chosen of the gods, a demon or even a human with some bizarre inherited abilities. She was just an ordinary human, and everything she owned she got through hard, grueling study.

Except for what she shamelessly stole, of course, but at the moment, it is not important.

Her spell, however, was everything but ordinary. First of all, she was not just firing bland, non-descript danmaku, she was shooting stars, colourful, explosive and razor-sharp stars of all colors and sizes. Five familiars circled around her, releasing random star bursts. Her miniature octagonal spell furnace gushed out a beautiful spinning star spiral.

Youmu rushed forward and took off into the air too. This was no longer a joke. This was a skilled, dangerous opponent, with spell cards that allowed no mistakes. She breathed in and focused.

Wait for the familiar to release a blast. Sidestep. Pass through the star spiral. Move forward. Blast. Sidestep. Spiral. Blast…

And Marisa was no fool either. She heard stories about Youmu, mostly about her legendary naivety and inability to get jokes, hell, she even checked just now just to see if those stories were true. They were, and it was hilarious, but it was also a bit unnerving.

Because other stories described Konpaku clan as masters of swordfight and discipline. Because there were stories in which Youmu cut all the grass in the garden in a single slash. Because Reimu, when asked about a fight in ghostly realm, summarized Youmu as "definitely no pushover".

And so, as soon as the half-ghost covered half the way to her, Marisa switched her spell.

Magic Sign: Stardust Reverie!

Now, this spell card didn't just protect its user with familiars. It created an enclosed space on the battlefield where starry patterns swirled, limiting mobility and dazzling any opponent unfortunate enough to be caught inside.

Marisa noticed she was also being attacked by ghostly butterflies, but those collided with stars and burned out long before reaching her, so she concentrated on Youmu's movements instead.

And still, she nearly missed it, the attack that would have left her without a head if it would connect properly. There was no movement, no preparation, just a blink and a sudden black wave created by slashed danmaku, closing in with impossible speed

Marisa dodged, and the wave moved in past her, blowing into her face a gust of frigid wind. She spun and saw Youmu behind her, sheathing her blades.

"Haha, you missed, ze~!"

"I didn't," Youmu responded, and as proof, pain shot up Marisa's left arm. She winced, clutching the wound, and felt something warm and wet under her fingers.

"So, it's going to be like that?" she said, a psychotic smirk forming on her face. "So, now it's a fight to the death, eh? Except you can't die, and I can, ze~. How delightful."

"You can just give up and let us go, you know," Yuyuko said. "But if you value your festival more than your own life, who am I to stop you?"

"I am not giving up because of a scratch! I am going to cut you myself! Love Sign: Non-Directional Laser!"

Now, anyone who would say this spell card was unoriginal and stolen would be immediately proven wrong, especially if that person would first anger Marisa beyond reason.

First of all, the original non-directional laser used by Patchouli Knowledge had only four beams, and Marisa's version had five. Not that big of a difference you might say, but if you are, for example, a creature that can survive your limbs cut off, the fifth beam that slices off your head makes all the difference.

Secondly, Patchouli's version used wider beams, burning your flesh first and allowing you, with some luck, escape with horrible burns. This is important if you are a creature that can't regenerate lost limbs without outside help.

Thirdly, it just looked prettier, the multicolored palette creating a warm, relaxing atmosphere of death.

Youmu performed a backflip, letting the thin green beam to pass under her. She no longer could close in on her opponent, because despite all her boasting of her blades being able to cut anything, in case of coherent energy beams the laws of physics just could not be denied.

She dodged again, ducking this time. The beams continued onward, cutting bamboo and increasing the radius of the clearing. Yuyuko had to dodge too, changing altitude. She continued to fire away her butterflies, but the large stars that supported the beams were still an obstacle.

"Lady Yuyuko, we can't keep this up for long!" Youmu shouted when the spell clicked another phase. "Is it going to time out soon?"

"Not likely," Yuyuko answered, and a teal beam passed inches away from her hat. "Just read the pattern or something. And don't be afraid of it, Yukari once told me that humans beyond the border proved laser to be just a very concentrated sunlight. Sorry, I don't remember word for word."

"Sunlight? But if it is…"

Another beam drew closer, and it was yellow, the fact that only increased Youmu's confidence. It was risky, but if it would succeed, it would end the battle. She had to try.

She crossed her blades, and put them in the path of the laser.

The beam collided with youkai-forged steel. The blades immediately became white-hot, and the ancient metal almost screamed, but it also managed to reflect the large portion of the beam back, into the cluster of generating familiars.

There was an explosion, and Marisa was thrown back, dazed and disoriented. Some of the butterflies passed through the collapsed barrier, and she covered her face with her arms.

Yuyuko flexed her wrist, and the butterflies dispersed, passing the witch harmlessly.

"I give you one more chance to surrender, Marisa Kirisame. Don't throw your life away so easily."

Marisa stared back defiantly. A streak of blood came down from the corner of her mouth, and she wiped it away with her torn sleeve.

"Who the hell do you think I am," she started quietly, but her voice increased in volume with every word. "And who the hell do you think you are, telling me what to do with my life? The living shall never bow down to the dead! Never! Return to your graves! Light Sign: Earth Light Ray!"

Once again, as the name implied, the spell card had everything to do with lasers and light. The stars were no longer colored, they were real miniature stars, blazing with blinding yellow radiance. The familiars were no longer used for protection, they were thrown around the battlefield, creating a minefield of upward slicing beams.

A few butterflies reached Marisa and she knocked them away. Youmu navigated the beams, lunged forward and the witch dodged, throwing familiars around to cover her retreat, but it was obvious she was long beyond her limit. She missed another butterfly cloud, and the little undead insects latched into her hat.

She threw it away and again barely dodged Youmu's blade, ducking under it. Her hand slipped, and she tumbled down from her broom, landing poorly and rolling on the ground.

The spell collapsed, and the last familiars exploded, adding a few more craters to the already torn battlefield. The soil fumed, mana-saturated vapors rising up and creating a thin blue mist.

"It is… not over… yet…" Marisa nearly coughed out. She rolled on her back, and tried to sit up. "I still can…"

"No you can't," Yuyuko said, giving Youmu a sign to keep back and floating closer to the fallen witch. "Your spirit is strong, but your flesh is weak. You are just an ordinary human, after all."

"No…" Marisa shook her head. "I am not…"

Her hands buckled and she fell back, losing consciousness. Yuyuko floated to her prone body, and kneeled down.

"I gave you three chances to back down, and you still didn't listen, such is the magnitude of human arrogance. And now, pay the ultimate price. Here comes death."

She slowly reached out to Marisa's face and Youmu's throat went instantly dry, like cotton was stuffed down it. True, this human was powerful, unstable and dangerous, but it was still too much.

"L-lady Yuyuko, we have won. It is not nec—"

Youmu didn't finish, because Marisa's eyes suddenly opened and her face contorted, forming an insane, vicious and bloody smile. Her arm shot out, pressing a tiny spell furnace against Yuyuko's forehead.

"Love Sign"

"Look out!" Youmu shouted on the run, already knowing she was too late, that even with all her speed, she could never stop a birth of a new star inside the tiny box, a supernova that blasted through a narrow opening right into Yuyuko's smiling face…

"MASTER SPARK!"

Everything went white.

(O,)

Numbness. Partial loss of hearing. A feeling you are being crushed by something. Three kinds of pain in your body – a sucking, dull pain in your limbs, a pulsating, sharp pain in your head and piercing, constant pain in your eyes.

Those are all common symptoms of a condition known as "Being hit by a Master Spark". If you have at least half of these symptoms, please contact trained medical personnel for assistance.

Unfortunately, there were no trained medical personnel around to help Youmu Konpaku, so she had to start a process of healing her body using her own innate regenerative powers.

Except, well, she had no regenerative powers beyond those of a normal human, so she instead clenched her teeth and wished for the pain to go away.

Warning! The General Medial Association of Gensokyo in no way endorses or considers the mentioned actions taken by Youmu Konpaku acceptable or safe. In fact, the longer you delay a visit to a doctor in such a case, the more extensive the damage to your vital organs may become. The Medical Association of Gensokyo is always willing to help those in pain and our trained professionals will treat you with outmost respect and care.

This public service announcement was brought to you by General Medical Association of Gensokyo, in association with Hakurei Shrine. Donate now!

First, of course, Youmu had to dig herself out from under all the dirt and bamboo that fell on her after she got hit by Marisa's spell. Then, she furiously tried to blink away a static image of the beam from her eyes. Then, for some reason, she started to search around for her swords, only to discover ten or so minutes later that she was holding them in her hands the whole time.

Then, she noticed that her ribbon was dirty, so she sat down, removed it and started to rub the dark red stains away. Then she put the ribbon in her hair again, but became unsatisfied with how it looked, so she adjusted, and adjusted, and adjusted…

Simply put, Youmu Konpaku was in a state of shock.

It lasted for about half an hour, her activities disjointed, random, and, to an outside observer, quite insane. Finally she stopped, blinked a few times and looked around, realizing who she was, where she was, and what she was supposed to be doing.

Oh crap. Lady Yuyuko.

Finding her way back to the battle site was actually quite easy, as Master Spark created a wide cut-through that was impossible to miss. Youmu ran, jumping over fallen bamboo, blades drawn. She ran into a clearing, half-expecting another fight with Marisa, but the witch was nowhere to be seen, and judging by the facts that her broom and hat were gone too and a phrase "Let's call it even, ze~" burned into the ground, the wounded girl has probably left long ago.

Then, Youmu saw Yuyuko, lying down in a trench the spell created near its origin point.

Yuyuko was dead.

Normally, it would be a redundant statement, like saying "the rock was hard" or "the river was wet", but in this case, Yuyuko looked especially dead, complete with glazed over eyes, half opened mouth and absolute lack of any movement.

"Lady Yuyuko!" Youmu desperately yelled, running to the prone ghost and kneeling down beside her. "Lady Yuyuko, please wake up! Please, say something, please, tell me it was just a joke, please, please…"

She started crying, her tears streaming down her dirty face, dripping down from her chin. And when the tears landed on Yuyuko's dead face, a miracle happened, as she breathed in and came back to life, after a thousand years of being a ghost, her heart was beating once again…

Well, not really. But she sure waked up, and her eyes focused on the crying girl.

"Oh hello there…" she started, and was immediately almost crushed in a hug. Confused, she lightly tapped Youmu on the back. "There, there, it's all right. I'm fine, really. You can stop. I said you can stop. Seriously, stop, it's not healthy."

Youmu let go and jerked back, her lips trembling and her face quickly turning red. "I… didn't mean to…"

"Yeah, yeah, we all get it, strange emotions and all that. You know the drill, blame it on the moon," Yuyuko said quite coldly, standing up and dusting herself off. "Still that's no excuse for coming in full-body physical contact with me for such a long time."

Youmu dropped on her both knees. "Lady Yuyuko, I'm sorry! I was just so worried..."

"Fool!" Yuyuko shouted. "I'm a ghost! When touched, a ghost saps life away from the living! You could have gotten anemia, or worse!"

She stopped, a strange feeling rising inside of her. What was that? Care? Sympathy? Love?

Yuyuko vomited a rainbow.

Yes, this was exactly what happened. It was a complete rainbow, seven colors and all. It also had half-digested chunks of stars embedded in it, fabulously sparkling in the moonlight. Needless to say, all of this majestic energy washed over poor Youmu, covering her head to toe. Thankfully, it wasn't corrosive, but still, it was in no way a pleasant experience.

What followed was a full minute filled only with awkward silence and a soft hissing sound of evaporating magic.

Then, Youmu stood up, her face a mask of granite and her gaze so intense it could melt the mentioned rock. Not literally, of course, despite how cool it would likely be.

"Lady Saigyouji, I see a giant mansion in the distance," Youmu said through clenched teeth. "Let's go there and slaughter everyone inside. We've wasted more than enough time here."

"Oh, don't worry, for a ghost, there is no such thing as wasted time," Yuyuko said with a strained smile, but Youmu didn't respond, brushing past her and continuing forward, to the path created by the Master Spark, at the end of which a dark shape of an enormous mansion was indeed visible.

But for Yuyuko, it was not only a shape. This place held power within, real power, and this power could not be contained, seeping out through every window, every opening, every crack, the power of madness and eternity.

Yuyuko's fake smile turned into a real, and a quite wicked one. It was all going just as planned.

She would have her dragon, after all.