I'm baaack! You know you missed me. Yeah, you do. I'm sorry I was late. But I'll try to make it up to y'all with 2 chappies. Yeah, you know you love me. I don't own anything…yet. Now read on. My minions!

Gaara: *is drunk* Why is my life on a downward spiral into the darkest pits of eternity?

Lee: I thought you got happier when you were drunk. This is the first time it's made you depressed.

Gaara: My soul is being sucked dry of all emotion and feeling.

Lee: Whatever. I'm going to call Kiba and tell him to come over. I'll wait until he gets here, and then I'm leaving. This place is too depressing.

Gaara: Just leave so I can purge my soul of all light and summon the gods of death.

Kiba: *arrives*

Lee: Have fun with that. *leaves*

Gaara: Mr. Fuzzykins! Mama and I missed you so much! Why did you leave us? Am I going to have a new Aunt for the night?

Kiba: *kicks Gaara* You're worse than Lee described. How much did you drink?

Gaara: I melted the empty cans and made a mini-castle out of them! *points to a 4-foot tall metal castle, with figures*

Kiba: I asked how much you drank. Not what you did with the cans.

Gaara: Sleepy time! *grabs Kiba's foot and sleeps on it*

Kiba: *throws off Gaara* Gaara! *kicks Gaara* You are not going to fall asleep on me! Get your lazy ass off the ground!

Gaara: Dou…do you hate me? *starts crying* He hates me! Daddy doesn't love me anymore!

Kiba: *growls* I said to get up. Now get up and stop crying!
Gaara: I don't wanna!

Kiba: Why not?

Gaara: Go away, poopie-head!

Kiba: Grow up!

Gaara: Why?

Kiba: You're fifteen. *picks Gaara up by his shirt* You need to stop acting like a baby. *Kiba dangles Gaara in the air by the back of his shirt*

Gaara: *dangles* Why?

Kiba: *sighs* Because I'm your *pauses* father and I said so.

Gaara: Okay ^.^

Kiba: *sets Gaara down* Good. Now give me one of your beers.

Gaara: *tries to get up and find them* *falls over* …Ow.

Kiba: I need to sober you up. Just a bit. *walks to kitchen* *comes back with bucket of ice water*

Gaara: What are you gonna do with that?

Kiba: *dumps water on Gaara* Do you feel any better?

Gaara: Ahh! I'm melting! Meeeeltiiinng!

Kiba: You're not melting. Humans don't melt in ice water. And even though I doubted it at first, I know you're human.

Gaara: But it's cold!

Kiba: Then you should be freezing, not melting. *slaps forehead* I shouldn't have said that.

Gaara: I'm not freezing, nor melting, because sand has a much lower freezing temperature and higher melting point that could be reached by any bucket of water, frozen or not. In actuality, I am dissolving, particles of my physical shell breaking free of the collective, loosing myself amidst the vast emptiness of the world's oceans. (A/N-holy crap, try saying that 5 times fast!)

Kiba: That's it! No more Bill Nye the Science Guy for you!

Gaara: Nooooo! Not the Science Guy! Whyyyyyyy?

Kiba: Stop being a smartass and you can watch it again.

Gaara: Okay! Hey, I found the beer!

Kiba: Where did you find-never mind. Just give me one.

Gaara: Here. *throws can* *can lands in fish tank*

Kiba: *Pulls out beer* Why do you have an empty fish tank?

Gaara: Shukaku's container gourd thing gets really heavy sometimes. I have to put him somewhere else. And it's fun to play in the sand.

Kiba: *finishes fifth beer* Good enough for me.

Gaara: How'd you drink that so fast?

Kiba: *finishes tenth* I'm amazing like that.

Gaara: No! How dare you finish the Jyuudaime (A/N-bonus points if you know where that's from)! I'll kill you! *tries punching Kiba-and fails*

Kiba: How many beers did you drink before I got here?

Gaara: A few…

Kiba: How many is a few?

Gaara: I don't know. More than 7.

Kiba: This is going to be easy.

Gaara: What's going to be easy?

Kiba: Follow me to your room. I have to show you some things.

Gaara: Show me what?

Kiba: Something of mine.

Gaara: Okay!

*Later*

Lee: What the hell?

Please review, even if it's just 'update NOW bitch'. Hell, even if you flame, I'll still answer you. Someone felt enough about this to comment, I'm not gonna argue! Go on, you wanna hit the button, just do it already! Or I'll sic a drunk Gaara on you…