i do not own.
i had it all done and then i decided it wasnt enough for my lovely sister. so im changing it up a bit. the break shows where the rape scene starts. no sister it is not in detailed. i didnt want to write that. it would have made me tear up.
please enjoy.
"You want an entire collection of my work?" Jiraiya stared at him shocked. "I would have never guessed you were a fan." Neji shook his head at the old man. "I am no fan. Kakashi-sensei is staying with me to recover from a mission. I thought he would like something to keep himself occupied till he heals." The old man stared at him contemplating. "And what's in it for me?" Neji stayed blank but spoke none the less. "I saved you countless times from dying at the Hyuga hot springs." Jiraiya scoffed. "I could have gotten out by myself." Neji activated his Byakugan and scanned the area. He smirked, "I can tell you right now where a group of ladies are bathing at." The old man smiled pulling out a scroll and handed it him "Ohhh! Here the collector's edition! Now tell me!" so Neji did and the man was off practically skipping. Neji put the scroll away and walked back home.
On the way he couldn't help but to question why exactly he was giving the man porn books. Sure he thought it might help keep Kakashi occupied but really it did seem a bit too much. And what exactly did he get out of it? Kakashi was a pervert, always calling him a girl. And would always bring up the fact that he was a branch member. He ordered Neji around like some maid, and never once gave any thanks. Yet somehow he always seemed to show Neji respect.
He knew very little about Kakashi in all truth. The man was a legend, no one dared to act as an equal to him. They feared him, hell it would seem even his students didn't know much about him. And Neji couldn't help but wonder if Kakashi ever got lonely. Did he have anyone to call a friend? Neji stopped in the middle of the street. He looked up at the sky. Even he had friends. Close people he could connect to. And yet he always felt like something was keeping him from truly connecting to them. Is that how Kakashi feels? Never connecting to anyone? That in a way could explain his nightmares. If he had someone to talk to then he wouldn't be swallowed by his nightmares. The person could ease the load. Neji couldn't help but want to be that person. He wanted Kakashi to tell him all about him. He wanted Kakashi to need him. He sighed. Looking to the side taking notice that he stood in front of the market.
He remembered Kakashi seemed to like his dumplings and he was out of the ingredients. So he headed inside. Kakashi didn't seem like the kind of person who trusted people to be close to him. Neji decided that as he filled his shopping basket with various items he remembered hearing Kakashi make approving sounds to. The man liked anything that wasn't sweet really. Neji was glad for that. Sweets weren't his favorite either. As he paid for his items and walked out he realized that he really couldn't stop thinking about the man. He wondered briefly if Kakashi was awake yet. He had only been gone about an hour or so. Still, he felt the urge to want to see the man. Again he stopped in the middle of the street.
He smiled just a bit to himself. Kakashi should be more than proud of himself. To have calm and collected Neji Hyuga in such inner conflict. He turned his head and his eye caught something shiny in a window. He knew the shop very well. He visited it often to pick up special orders for Tenten. He walked up to the window staring at what caught his attention. A simple kunai set with a bird carved at the handles the pouch had the same bird image stitched on it in silver stitching. The pouch itself was black. He thought back to Kakashi and how he would always stare at the birds outside through the windows. It was only natural to want to get it for the man right? He convinced himself it was. So he walked in the shop and waved to the owner. "Neji! Here to pick up something for Tenten?" he shook his head and pointed to the kunai set. "Can I buy that?" the owner picked up the set and nodded taking it to the register. "Want me to gift wrap it?" Neji knew he must have thought it was for Tenten. He wondered should he give it to Kakashi as a gift? It was still a little more than a month before Christmas though. And for some reason he felt like he could not wait that long. Was it normal to receive a gift just because? Why not? "Yes please." So the man wrapped it in shiny silver wrapping paper and tied it with a satin white ribbon making a simple bow on top. Neji paid said his thanks and walked out eyeing the gift in his hand the entire way home.
When he felt the young man on the other side of the door he was ready to yell to scream. Only when he actually saw the man walk in he froze. Unable to even speak. Neji had a content and happy smile on his face. His arms were loaded with groceries and a present. "So you are awake. What would you like for lunch?" Kakashi stared at him. The urge to say 'you' at the tip of his tongue. "Dumplings ok?" Kakashi nodded finally able to stand and helped him with the groceries heading to the kitchen. After putting everything down Neji pulled out a scroll from his pocket and handed it to Kakashi. It only took him 2 seconds to figure out what it was.
"Ma! No way! How!" Kakashi was literally jumping up and down and Neji smiled at him. He froze with that smile again. It was breath taking. "I thought you were getting bored. And I don't know where you live. So I couldn't get you yours. But I did remember that the pervert owes me a few favors. Apparently Huyga's are more erotic." Kakashi stared at the man. He agreed Hyuga's are more erotic. As that thought passed his head he was sure something was wrong with him. Neji pointed at the vegetables on the counter and Kakashi put the scroll down and went to chopping. While Neji put everything else away. Leaving the present on the table. Kakashi guessed it was for Tenten. She was his team mate and it screamed lover's gift. And for some reason he felt sad. Why was that? Was the famous Hatake Kakashi copycat ninja jealous of some little girl that plays with a few weapons? For what? The attention of a man?
His blood ran cold. Why did the Hyuga matter so much? In his distraction his hand slipped and he cut his finger. He hissed and the Hyuga walked over to him. Neji grabbed his finger and watched the blood. Kakashi watched him. Than the man put the bleeding finger in his mouth. Sucking up the blood. It was then that Kakashi decided the man mattered because he wanted to take him. True Kakashi never thought of men. And true he felt like there was more to it. But his sensitive mind refused to think more of it. Just sex right? That's all it was. Forget the fact that Kakashi had never taken anyone. Hell truth be told he didn't even know how to masturbate. Sure he read porn and knew what to do, just not how to do it. Maybe that's why he stayed. That was all that kept him with the man. His dying need to take the Hyuga to bed and have his way with him. So when Neji pulled his finger out of his mouth Kakashi lifted the man and stormed to the bed room. He ignored that small voice in his head telling him to stop, and think this through. No, he wasn't one to think through such feelings. Maybe that's why all his team mates seem to die on him. Because he was no better than Sai really. He refused to understand what he felt. He just felt it. He refused to analyze his emotions. The emotions just fueled him. Perhaps he was insane. Maybe he should be locked up for mental instability. Yet, it seemed so much easier to hide inside him and put up a mask for the world. But this man, this Hyuga seemed to unmask him with just his eyes. Eyes that looked at him with fear, could he see just how unstable he was? Could he see how broken and dead the great Hatake Kakashi really was? Kakashi pushed away his thoughts. His mind was tearing him apart. He refused to let this become more than what it was. He wanted to take the Hyuga. That was all. There could not be more. He refused to think that there was more. No, all it is was lust. That was all.
"What a-are you doing?" he heard fear in his own voice. As Kakashi threw him on his bed. The look in Kakashi's visible scared him. It held no love, just an animalistic lust, and a crazed lust. And Neji was deadly afraid. Kakashi pulled off his shirt and ripped it. Taking a strand and wrapped it around Neji's eyes. Panic rose in him but he didn't fight back. For the fear of hurting Kakashi was greater than his fear of Kakashi hurting him. Something was wrong with the man. He just knew there was something wrong. As if Kakashi lost his mind and was trying desperately to keep the pieces together. Darkness surrounded him. As he felt Kakashi rip off his clothing. He felt rough calloused hands roam his skin. And warm lips kiss his neck. The touches frightened him. And knowing that Kakashi covered his eyes only served to prove to him that Kakashi was lost in a battle in his mind. Neji wanted to cry out, he knew he should. But the fear of destroying Kakashi's sanity stopped him. He bit his tongue from crying out his frustration. He felt Kakashi flip him over and screamed when he entered him. Surely it wasn't supposed to hurt this much. He felt warm liquid fill his mouth the bitter metallic taste made him feel sick. Kakashi pounding in him ripping him apart made him want to die. He dug his teeth deep in his arm. Trying desperately from yelling out in pain. For even when his entire body couldn't stand this abuse he knew Kakashi was enjoying it. Whatever demons were with the man earlier left him. He seemed lost in the lustful act. Neji was sure Kakashi pushed away everything in his mind and indulged himself in taking him. He was relieved that for the moment Kakashi's sanity wasn't at stake. No, the man was indeed enjoying himself. If the pleasure filled grunts and moans that left his mouth were any indication or the fact that his erection was incredibly rock hard. That alone kept Neji from crying. It was painful, and he wanted it to stop.
Finally after blood filled his mouth again from him biting his arm and the feeling of blood leaking down his inner thighs did he yell, "Kakashi? P-please stop! You're hurting me! Please stop…" he was crying freely now. Unable to mask his pain, though Kakashi didn't stop, and it felt like he was stabbed. What made him think Kakashi even cared for him just because he seemed to put aside his demons for this act? What made him think he was important to the man? He wondered briefly if Kakashi did this often to forget his nightmares. Or could he be over analyzing this? What if Kakashi really was a pervert and only cared about getting a good fuck out of him? He couldn't help but cry in his confusion. It was painful, both physically and emotionally. He cried into the makeshift blindfold. It was now covered in his blood, he tried to stay focused. Tried not to faint from all his blood loss. Finally Kakashi groaned and filled him with more liquid. As he pulled out Neji felt himself shake. He felt dirty, and used. And for some reason he felt betrayed. Neji tried to breathe. He heard Kakashi gasp and he felt the disgust rise in him. He rose a little on shaking arms. Tilting to the side trying not to notice the wet feeling of his own puddle of blood staining his bed, he vomited at the edge of his bed guessing by the sound he knew it was on his wooden floor not his bed. Finally, he welcomed the darkness that already surrounded him.
Kakashi pulled out of the young man. His mind still cloudy from all the lust. He looked down and gasped. The lovely Hyuga lay in a puddle of blood. And Kakashi noticed the blood on his member and the blood mixed with semen leaking down the man's flawless thighs. When the man vomited and was falling Kakashi caught him. Taking notice the bite wound on the man's right arm and all the blood. This wasn't right. How did this happen? He thought back and his Sharingan made him remember the Hyuga's pleas to stop. He remembered the man beg him and his pain filled cries. And he continued anyways.
What a monster he was indeed. He succeeded in holding together his sanity for the moment, but now he knew he would lose his control and it would shatter in a million pieces. His self-hate came back full force. This wasn't right. He looked at the Hyuga in his arms. This man never deserved this. All he did was save him. And he hurt him in return. He lifted the man and took him to the bathroom. Cleaning him thoroughly. There was nothing he could do about the wound in the man's lower region. But he wrapped up his arm. And laid him tummy down on the couch as he cleaned the bed and the vomit. Kakashi wanted to kill himself. It hurt so much to know he was the cause of the man's suffering. After remaking the bed making sure no blood was on it. Even using a jutsu to suck up every last drop did he lay the Hyuga down.
His heart wouldn't slow down. And both his eyes stung. He caressed the man's gentle palms. He felt sick and disgusted with himself. He cried, never did he intend to hurt the man. No, he just wanted to escape his internal pain. He stood unable to stand himself. And left the Hyuga's home. His heart tearing him apart for hurting the man that showed him nothing but kindness. The man who went out of his way to cook him his favorites and sleep on a couch while he took his bed, the same man who asked Jiraiya for his porn books just to keep him from being bored. The man that saved him from dying in his puddle of blood, and he paid the young man by putting him in his own puddle? He rushed home for fear of breaking down in the middle of the streets. After shutting the door he cried. Cried out his frustration and self-hate. His sanity was not worth hurting Neji. And yet he did. He should be killed for hurting the gentle man. No, death was too good of a punishment for him. He would rather let his insanity take over and kill him slowly. Yes, that was better.