Disclaimer: Doc Martin is the property of Buffalo Pictures. I own nothing except my overactive imagination

The Gravel Road

Chapter 2

Louisa glanced over at Martin as he drove, trying to gauge his feelings, to read his expression, but as usual he was a closed book. He was wearing his normal grumpy cross look – he certainly didn't seem particularly pleased to see her.

Lord, it was going to be hard to tell him her news! She was feeling pretty nervous about how to tell him, not helped by the fact that she was feeling pretty queasy - breakfast on the train seemed a very long time ago.

"So, how's village life? Everyone keeping you as busy as ever?" Louisa tried to break the ice, but didn't risk talking about anything too personal or wedding related.

"Same bloody annoying lot. All intent on wasting my time, as usual," Martin replied, concentrating on the narrow, twisty moors road. Although his car had an inbuilt sat nav, the signal reception was patchy at best, so he was following her directions.

"How's Joan? Keeping well?" Louisa tried again. He certainly wasn't making this easy, was he?

"She's fine, just fine. So… umm… what time train are you planning to catch back?" He wanted to know how long he'd got with her.

"Actually I've booked a room at the Coach and Four. They do B & B so that's why I've brought an overnight bag. I couldn't face the long journey twice in the same day," Louisa informed him, thinking to herself 'So he can't wait to get rid of me, even though I've only just arrived. I hoped he might have been just a little bit pleased to see me; we didn't part on bad terms after all'.

"Ah right, I see." He inwardly heaved a sigh of relief, because if she'd been going straight back they'd have had very little time together. He had wondered why she'd brought such a large bag with her, but then women's bags were always a complete mystery to him.

Louisa decided to give up and wait until they reached the pub to talk to him, so she looked out of the window instead, admiring the scenery and just glad to be back in Cornwall.

Martin stole a glance at her, finding it hard to believe that she was really here, sitting next to him in his car. And now he knew she wasn't rushing off again, he could relax a little.

They reached the Coach and Four pub, and Martin could see what Louisa had meant about it being remote. There were no other buildings in sight, just acres of rolling moor and when he checked his phone, it had no signal at all. Perfect for an uninterrupted conversation, hopefully.

They walked into the pub, Louisa carrying her overnight bag, Martin carrying a folder of paperwork that he'd brought to go through with her. Inside, it was deserted, there was no one else there at all. The landlord greeted them - he was a balding, middle aged man with a moustache. He was wearing jeans with braces, which were struggling to keep his jeans up over his protruding beer gut.

"You must be Louisa Glasson. you've booked a room for tonight haven't you?" The landlord greeted her with a smile.

"Can't imagine how you worked that one out," muttered Martin sarcastically, looking round the empty pub with its orangey red walls, dark beams, dark wood furniture and flagstone floor.

"That's right, we spoke on the phone the other night I think," Louisa replied, ignoring Martin's comment.

"Yes, I recognised your beautiful Cornish accent straight away, knew you was a local lass, didn't I? And I must say, you're even more beautiful in the flesh than you sounded on the phone," the landlord told her.

"Oh please…" Martin scoffed as he raised his eyebrows, but then bit back any further retorts when he saw the warning look on Louisa's face, and remembered that he really ought to be on his best behaviour.

The Landlord got her room key and called for the lad helping him behind the bar to take Louisa's bag and show her up to her room.

"I won't be a minute Martin. I'll just go and quickly freshen up and then we can order some lunch – I'm starving actually." Louisa told him.

"Fine, I'll just order us some drinks then – glass of white wine for you?" Martin offered.

"Ah no, just an orange juice please," Louisa called back as she disappeared towards the stairs leading up to the guest rooms.

xXx

Louisa sat on the bed in her room for a moment, collecting her thoughts. All she'd wanted to do when she'd first seen Martin was to give him a big hug, and feel his arms around her. He looked better than ever, so smart and so tall.

But she couldn't. Not that she thought he would have objected, she remembered only too well how he enjoyed her touch, but with what she had to tell him, the last impression she wanted to give was that she was somehow trying to seduce him to get him back. He wouldn't want her back anyway, especially not in the condition she was in, of that she was certain. She suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of tiredness sweep over her. She was fed up of always having to put a brave face on things, and felt dangerously close to bursting into tears. Must be her bloody hormones; of course it had nothing to do with seeing Martin and feeling all over again her keen sense of loss…

Downstairs Martin sat waiting at a table in the corner, looking out over the moor. He'd chosen the most private table that he could find, as a few more people had entered the pub, but it was still very quiet. He'd glanced at the menu, decided that he would have the sea bass, and thought that Louisa would probably go for the chicken salad. He looked up as she joined him.

He couldn't help staring at her. Now that she'd taken her coat off, he could see that she was wearing jeans, her red checked blouse and a red cardigan. Her dark, glossy hair was loose, and tumbled down over her shoulders. She looked stunning, even though she was simply attired. He cleared his throat and managed to stop staring at her. He passed a menu as she sat down opposite him.

"I'm going to try the sea bass, what about you?"

"Hmm, think I'll go for the chicken salad," Louisa replied, causing Martin to smile to himself, because he had correctly predicted her choice.

The landlord came and placed some bread rolls on the table and then took their order. Martin watched in astonishment as Louisa grabbed a roll and proceeded to wolf it down with no ceremony. She saw his look, and apologised,

"Sorry, I'm starving, I had to leave pretty early this morning, and you know what the catering is like on the trains," she explained. Truth was if she didn't eat little and often, she felt pretty sick, and she didn't want to start throwing up in front of Martin.

"No, well, good to see you have a healthy appetite," Martin told her, thinking 'No sign of her pining away, in fact she looks the picture of health, blooming actually. London life must be agreeing with her. If anything she's put a little weight on in certain areas.' He hadn't been able to help noticing that the buttons of her blouse were straining across her bust.

"Do you mind if we eat before we discuss anything?" Louisa said, staring at the ominous looking file that Martin had brought with him.

"No, of course not. If you haven't got to rush back to catch a train today, we can take our time."

"I'm sorry, I didn't meant to assume… that is if you need to get back…"

"No. it's fine, really."

They tiptoed around each other, both feeling rather awkward.

Luckily the food soon arrived, so they both got on with their meals.

"How's the sea bass?"

"Not bad – your salad OK?"

"Yes, fine thanks."

They continued with their polite but meaningless chatter until they'd finished their meal, then relaxed over cheese and biscuits. Martin had coffee, but Louisa ordered tea as she couldn't stand the taste or smell of coffee at the moment, although she did feel much better now that she had eaten.

"So, how's the new job going at Polly's school? Must be exciting, living in London, new challenges and all that," Martin enquired.

Louisa smiled at Martin getting Holly's name wrong – he really was hopeless with names, but somehow it didn't irritate her as it would have done previously, in fact she found it quite endearing. She found that she couldn't bring herself to lie and pretend that her new life in London was all hunky dory.

"Oh, I don't know, London isn't all it's cracked up to be sometimes," she replied, with a sad little smile on her face.

"But your new job…?" Martin looked closely at her, slightly puzzled. He'd assumed that everything would be going really well for her; it never occurred to him that she might not be enjoying her new life.

Louisa could feel herself close to tears again, so she took a deep breath to calm herself.

"Well, you know…" she replied evasively, toying with a teaspoon in her cup of tea.

"No, I don't, so tell me," Martin insisted. This was important. Maybe there was just a tiny chink of light for him if Louisa wasn't happy in London.

"OK, if you must know, I hate it! I wish…oh it doesn't matter what I wish, what's done is done, and I just have to make the best of it. I'll find something else, I can't stay at Holly's school because...well anyway, none of this is your problem Martin. So what have you got in your folder there for us to sort out?" Louisa tried to change the subject. Somehow she still couldn't bring herself to tell him what she had really come to say.

"Well, what will you do? Would you ever consider coming back… coming back to Cornwall?" Martin ignored her attempt to change the subject. This was far more important, and he held his breath as he waited for her answer.

"Not an option is it? They've filled my position as Head Teacher at Portwenn, and not many vacancies come up in Cornwall at that level, so I suppose I'll just have to see what else is around."

"What if… say for example things weren't working out with your replacement at Portwenn?"

"What do you mean Martin? Have you heard something?"

"I really can't say anything I'm afraid. However, if you were to ring Stu Mackenzie and tell him that you'd be interested should they need a cover for the Head Teacher post , you may not have to wait all that long."

Stu Mackenzie had come to see Martin, worried about reports from staff at the school that the new Head teacher, Mr. Strain, was showing some extremely worrying unstable behaviour, and they wanted him to be declared medically unfit for the post. Of course this was confidential and he couldn't tell Louisa any of it, but he could point her in the right direction. Stu had dropped several pointed hints to Martin about what a shame it was that Miss Glasson, the best Head Teacher they'd ever had, had had to leave her village, as had numerous other villagers over the past few weeks. He was certain they'd welcome her back with open arms.

"Well, surely you wouldn't really want me back in the village? We both know it would never have worked out between us, so wouldn't it be rather awkward if I were to come back?"

"We're both adults, so I'm sure we could work something out. And you were wrong you know Louisa. What you said, in your letter. What you assumed I wanted – or rather didn't want from our marriage," Martin told her quietly, as he played with a biscuit nervously.

"What do you mean Martin? Don't forget, you didn't want to marry me either, you planned to leave me high and dry at the altar as I recall. How embarrassing would that have been? Just as well I didn't turn up."

"Maybe that was an error of judgement, I realise now. Your letter, the one you brought round that day. Do you remember what you wrote in it?"

"Yes of course I do. That because we had such different expectations about our marriage, it could never have worked between us."

"Because you wanted a family, babies and all that kind of thing."

"Yes, that's right, that was one of the main reasons."

"And you assumed that I didn't."

"Yes, of course, everyone knows that you hate kids, Martin. You've never made any secret of it."

"Well maybe I hate other people's children, because most of them are pretty vile and disgusting. But then again, I hate most other people's wives, but that didn't mean that I didn't want you as my wife."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you think you should have at least asked me how I felt about having a family, rather than making assumptions based on village gossip? And don't you think it was rather high handed of you to assume that I wouldn't want to be Godparent to your friends' baby that I'd just delivered? You said that you'd make an excuse for me, as if I was something to be ashamed of. It never occurred to you that I might actually have been pleased to be a Godparent did it? And don't you think I realised that you would want children, that you would make a lovely mother, that it would be cruel to deny you that opportunity? Was it that you thought I'd make a dreadful parent, that I'm not suitable father material? Or maybe you realised that you didn't want us to have a baby, in case it turned out to be like me?"

Louisa sat and listened in astonishment at the words pouring out of Martin's mouth. She'd never heard him open up in such a way about how he felt before.

"Martin, I had no idea…"

"No, because you never asked me did you?"

"Yes, but you called off the wedding too don't forget, because you said I wouldn't make you happy either," Louisa pointed out defensively.

"Because I've always found it hard to believe that you did truly… love me, but then afterwards when I read your letter it said that you really did, despite calling the wedding off. But at that moment I believed you couldn't possibly love me enough to put up with a notoriously difficult man like me, that you deserved a better man. But if your main reason for not wanting to marry me was because you thought I wouldn't have agreed to have a baby with you, well, you were wrong. Although I think it only fair to point out that statistically, the odds would have been very highly stacked against us managing to conceive a child at our ages. The medical fact is that after the age of thirty five, a woman's fertility is significantly reduced, and to further compound the problem, a number of studies have also shown that those women with a partner five years older or more face additional difficulties, due to the fact that a man's sperm quality declines with age. Therefore I think it only logical to conclude that there really would have been a very high chance of us being unable to have children in any case, due to fertility issues."

"There wouldn't have been. Fertility issues I mean," Louisa told him with a wry little smile.

"You can't know that for sure Louisa."

"Yes I can, because…"

"Because what?"

"Because I'm pregnant Martin. That's what I've come to tell you. I'm going to have our baby." The words were finally out, finally spoken out loud to him. After weeks of turmoil trying to decide the best way to tell him, it was done.

"What? Pregnant? Are you sure? But how… when…?" Martin was obviously taken completely by surprise with her news, he'd had no inkling of it at all, and was totally flummoxed.

"Yes, I'm sure, and I think you know the 'how' Martin. I can only assume we had a condom failure - they're not 100% reliable after all, are they? And by how many weeks I am, it was most likely the first time we…."

"Bloody hell! What are the chances…? The very first time…?" Martin asked her incredulously.

Louisa looked intently at Martin's aghast face, and all she could see there was shock and horror. No pleasure or joy.

"You must have very determined and persistent little swimmers, Martin, that's all I can say, evidently nothing wrong with their quality. And obviously I'm not quite as decrepit and past my sell by date as you seem to think either. And before you say anything else Martin, let me tell you that I am going to go ahead and have this baby, God willing, whatever you say. Don't worry though, it's alright, you don't have to feel in any way obliged to me. I'm more than capable of raising this child on my own."

"Have you not been listening to a word I've been saying?" Martin interrupted her.

"Yes, that had we gone ahead and got married you might possibly have agreed for us to try for a baby, but you assumed we'd have major fertility issues, so realistically you thought the chances of us having a baby were actually pretty remote. But now you're confronted with the reality, I can see that you're hardly thrilled…"

"Now wait a minute, that's hardly fair Louisa! This has come as a complete bolt out of the blue for me," Martin protested.

"No, it's alright, You don't have to pretend to be pleased, really it's fine, you've been informed of the situation, which is all I came to do."

With that, Louisa jumped up and walked off towards the stairs to her room in the pub. She didn't want him to see that she was about to burst into tears.

"Louisa! Please don't walk away from me again! Please, just come back!" Martin pleaded, horrified that yet again he was about to lose her.

Louisa was stopped in her tracks by the note of desperation in Martin's voice. She realised in an instant that he was just as scared and frightened as she was – and just as vulnerable.

She turned around and slowly walked back. Tears were streaking her cheeks as she down at the table again, so Martin took his hanky from his pocket to gently wipe them away.

"I have to tell you that I was wrong about you, about everything. And that you were wrong about leaving," Martin told her emotionally.

"Oh was I now? So you think I should come back do you?"

"Yes I do. We should have tried harder to work things out, not given up so easily, and now that there's going to be a baby, surely it's even more important than ever that we try to work things out," Martin stated without hesitation.

"I don't know Martin. this isn't how I expected things to go to be honest." She'd never dared to let herself think that Martin would ever want her back, or would want to be involved with the baby.

"But you're not rejecting the idea of us trying to work things out, are you?" Martin asked hopefully.

"No, I suppose I'm not. So, how do you feel about becoming a father then?" Louisa asked tentatively.

"Honestly? Scared rigid. I think it's going take a while for your news to sink in, for me to get used to the idea, but I'll just have to won't I? How are you feeling anyway? Have you had a check up, are you taking care of yourself?"

"Yes, I've had a check up, and I'm fine Martin, just a bit queasy sometimes. And I'm already expanding in certain areas…" She looked down at her chest and wiggled herself.

"Umm, yes, I had noticed actually," Martin told her, staring at the area in question.

"Martin!"

"It's my job - I'm trained to observe any changes in a patient's anatomy," he explained with a little smile as he reached over to take her hand in his. "Look, I know you probably think I'll make a crap father, and I admit that I've never been very good with babies…"

"You could learn, couldn't you?" Louisa offered, realising that she needed to encourage him, to help him to overcome his lack of confidence, and believe that he could be a good father.

"Yes, I could," Martin replied with more conviction than he actually felt, knowing that he had to convince Louisa if he was to stand any chance of persuading her to move back to the village to be with him.

Louisa looked at Martin, the father of her baby, the man she still loved, and she finally allowed herself a little ray of hope that maybe he was prepared to give fatherhood a go. She leant over the table to kiss Martin on the lips, as she had once before some time ago. This time however, Martin was completely sober and wide awake as he leant over to deepen their kiss, and it started to develop into a very intense and passionate kiss indeed…

They were interrupted by the landlord coughing as he brought the bill over and raised his eyebrows.

"It's a double room you're booked into, you know," he winked at Louisa.

"Oh right, yes, thank you, I did notice that," Louisa replied blushing, as Martin got his wallet out and put some money down on the table to pay for their lunch.

"Right..well.." Martin looked at Louisa, unsure of what the next move was going to be between them.

She smiled, took his hand and then led him towards the stairs to her room...