Disclaimer: Doc Martin is the property of Buffalo Pictures. I own nothing except my overactive imagination
The Gravel Road
Chapter 3
Martin closed the bedroom door behind him and then leant against it as he looked across the room at Louisa.
For a moment neither spoke, as they took in the unreality of the situation. From being hundreds of miles apart and not on speaking terms, they were now alone together, in a bedroom, having just kissed.
Louisa slowly came over to Martin.
"Can I ask you to do something for me?" she whispered, as she looked up at him.
"Of course you can."
"Will you just hold me? I really need a hug from you."
"I think I could manage that," he whispered back, taking her in his arms and holding her to him.
"Oh that feels so good," she murmured as she felt his arms engulfing her, making her feel safe and secure for the first time in such an age. It felt wonderful as he held her, even better than she remembered. She wasn't really sure how things stood between them, but for now she decided to just relax and enjoy the moment.
Martin closed his eyes as he held her and gently rocked her. It hardly seemed possible that he was holding her in his arms, and he didn't want the moment to end, worried that he'd wake up and find it was all a dream.
Slowly, Louisa started nuzzling his neck, causing him to utter a little low moan, and pull her even closer against him.
"Oh Louisa," he whispered, finding himself completely under her spell as she turned her face up to him, inviting him to kiss her by curling her arm around his neck and pulling him down to her.
He started to kiss her, but then hesitated and pulled back.
"Louisa, are you really sure about this? I mean… you do know where this is leading, don't you?" Martin looked over at the bed, which rather dominated the small room. Self doubt had crept in again, so he needed to check that he wasn't mistaken about her intentions, he hadn't misread the signals, and wasn't about to make a complete fool of himself.
"Oh Martin, don't spoil things! I wouldn't have brought you up here to my room if I wasn't aware of… you know... where things would end up," Louisa told him, as she pulled him back to her and kissed him again. Then she undid his tie, slid it off and started unbuttoning his shirt. He was left in no doubt whatsoever about her intentions now.
Martin finally relaxed and decided to take Bert's advice from a long time ago and just 'go with the flow'.
xXx
Louisa sighed contently, cuddling up to Martin as they lay together in bed, both glowing in the aftermath of their lovemaking.
"At least we didn't have to worry about using a condom this time," Louisa pointed out.
"No, bit late for all that now." Martin agreed. Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined that this would be how today would turn out - in bed, with Louisa, having learnt that he was going to be a father. Thinking again about this news made him ask,
"Why didn't you contact me as soon as you found out that you were pregnant? You must have known for a few weeks now."
Martin was starting to put together the sequence of events since Louisa had left. If it had indeed been the first time they'd made love that she'd conceived this baby, then she must have suspected she was pregnant fairly soon after arriving in London. Tests were very accurately from an early stage, so she must have known for a while before getting round to telling him.
"I suppose…I thought you'd be angry…"
"What?"
"I thought you'd be keen for me to have an abortion, especially in the very early weeks when all you have to do is take a pill. And I just couldn't bear the thought of you telling me that you wanted to 'terminate', or 'get rid' of our baby. That was never an option as far as I was concerned, I knew instantly that I wanted this precious baby more than anything, especially when you consider what a long shot it was that I even got pregnant in the first place – so how could I possibly think of aborting our child," Louisa told him emotionally, as she placed her hand on her belly protectively.
"I really wish you hadn't made those assumptions about me with regard to having an abortion. I actually feel very humbled and honoured that you feel so strongly about wanting my baby, and of course I will give you my full support if you will only let me. So, what you're saying is that you hoped by not telling me in the early stages, it'd be too late for an abortion by the time I did find out? In that case, what made you ring me now? After all, technically an abortion is still possible – not that I'm in any way suggesting that at all," he hurriedly reassured her.
"It was Holly actually, she kind of forced my hand. Grabbed my phone and rang you before I could stop her," Louisa confessed.
"You mean we have Holly to thank for us being here now? I must say I'd never have expected that," Martin pondered. He'd always had Holly down as a rather stuck up bitch, rather than the interfering social worker type.
"She's been on at me for ages to ring you. She initially thought I should have a termination, but she respected my decision to go ahead with the pregnancy once I explained that abortion simply wasn't an option for me, that this baby is a special gift as far as I'm concerned, however crap the timing. Especially at my ripe old age, as you so tactfully pointed out earlier."
"Well, when would you have told me if she hadn't intervened then? Am I really that scary that you felt you couldn't face telling me that I'd got you pregnant?" Martin demanded.
"I don't really know and actually yes, you are scary sometimes Martin, bloody scary. And anyway, I've been worried that I might miscarry or something would go wrong, and then I'd have got you involved for no good reason."
"For goodness sake Louisa, I would never have pressurised you to have an abortion! What kind of a monster do you think I am? And it's not a sign of weakness to ask for help you know, of course I'm willing to support you if you'll just let me, and even if something like a miscarriage were to occur, I would look after you, you really should have…"
He was stopped mid rant by Louisa kissing him on the lips.
"I'm sorry, alright? We've both been stupid fools for all sorts of reasons," she told him.
"Come back to Portwenn. Let me look after you and this... our… baby. Stop shutting me out," Martin pleaded as he returned her kiss and gently placed his hand over hers on her belly.
"It's not that straight forward, is it? We've both got a lot of baggage and so many issues. Don't forget, you didn't want to get married either, remember?"
"Look I was a bloody fool before. I just let that stupid vicar get to me," Martin said in frustration.
"Which vicar? The one you nobbled or the replacement one?"
"I didn't nobble the first vicar, he was an alcoholic for God's sake! No, that bloody psycho replacement vicar, the one that virtually blackmailed me to get him to agree to perform the ceremony."
"So you're telling me that when you went to see Reverend Porter, he only agreed to perform the wedding ceremony if you…?"
"If I agreed to examine his stupid pig. Told him I wasn't a vet, but he insisted. So there I was, ankle deep in pig shit, with my finger up a pig's arse trying to sort out a rectal prolapse, when he starts banging on about 'What's the most important question I should ask myself before I got married?'."
Louisa had a fit of giggles as she tried to picture the scene. Martin, one of the most fastidious men she had ever come across, having to examine a pig's backside.
"So what happened then?" she managed to ask, before a new fit of giggles overtook her.
"Well when I didn't answer him - due to the fact that I was somewhat busy working on this wretched pig's anus - he started getting all shirty with me. Said I should humour him if I wanted him to help me, so I replied without really thinking with 'Does she make me happy?'."
"Good answer," Louisa told him as she kissed his neck, still giggling at the thought of the pig's nether regions being ministered to by Martin.
"No, it wasn't, according to him. He said that I was nearly right, but that the correct answer should have been 'Do I make her happy?'"
"Well that's pretty much the same thing surely, because it's all about making each other happy isn't it? You do know he's barking mad? Flipped in the middle of a wedding service one time over at Delabole, had some sort of a breakdown, because he had such a phobia about people getting married. He had to be quietly retired off with his pigs up on the moor, out of people's way."
"I know that now, but at the time I thought he was the professional, the expert on the subject of marriage, so I suppose he got to me when all the other 'doubters' hadn't."
"What others?"
"Well first there was Roger Fenn, asking me if I was really sure that I knew what I was doing. Then Penhale arrested the florist and Auntie Joan said it was bad luck to have a wedding without flowers. The bloody dry cleaner told me how his wife tried to change him, then divorced him, after getting married at the same church. Oh and of course, Reverend Counter turning out to be an alcoholic, that was a good omen too."
"Oh you poor thing, and then on top of all that having to deliver your first baby as well," Louisa sympathised as she nuzzled against his chest.
"Yes, that too. And then it just hit me, that I was being selfish in expecting you to be happy to be married to a grumpy bugger like me. After that, you came round and said more or less the same thing."
"No, I didn't! I just thought that we could never be happy together if we had opposing views about having a family. And I suppose I'd had my share of negative comments throughout the day too, which had probably got to me if I'm honest. I'm sure Mrs Tishell thought her prayers had been answered when Reverend Counter got carted off to hospital, she certainly couldn't wait to come round to tell me about it."
"Yes, and you seemed to think I'd done it on purpose. 'Subconsciously sabotaging our wedding', I think you suggested."
"Well I didn't know at the time that you were prepared to put your precious surgeon's fingers up a pig's backside so that our wedding could go ahead - which makes it all the more sad that you changed your mind at the last minute. All that effort – for nothing," Louisa said ruefully.
"So marry me now. Then it won't all have been for nothing," Martin stated, thinking that this was the sensible and logical solution and made perfect sense.
"Oh Martin, don't you see? We rushed into getting married before, and then I made another hasty decision when I left for London straight away. Just rushing into this again would be another really bad idea. I want us to take our time to think things through properly for once, to be sensible and logical. Surely you can see that, you of all people."
"No, I don't, because as I see it, we made an error by not getting married in the first place, so we would simply be putting right our mistake. Especially now that… well, events have overtaken us somewhat. I think it's preferable for a child to be born in wedlock, however old fashioned that may sound," Martin tried to explain.
"Yes, it is very old fashioned, rushing into getting married just because I'm pregnant. There's no-one holding a shotgun to your head Martin. It's really not a requirement these days; you don't have to be married to have a baby you know."
"Well Louisa, you're making it pretty obvious that you don't want us to get married. So what happens now? This, us, what's just happened between us means nothing? You can't deny that we're good together, can you?"
"I certainly can't deny that we're good together in bed, but that's not enough to base a marriage on is it? I need time to think things through calmly, as do you, if you think about it logically."
"So I just have to bugger off while you make your mind up about what exactly it is you want? I just have to wait and see, is that it?"
Martin summarised the situation as he saw it in a rather bitter tone of voice. He was extremely disappointed by her attitude, because as far as he was concerned, he'd thought things were sorted between them, seeing as how they'd ended up in bed together having terrific sex. How could something so right not mean that they should be together?
"No, Martin, that's not what I said at all. Let's just take things one step at a time, see how things go. I've got a lot to think about, and so have you. You've only just found out that I'm pregnant, which you have to realise changes everything. Getting back together will be a whole different kettle of fish now, Are you sure you want to take on being a father, coping with a baby, having lots of disturbed nights and everything else having a baby entails? It'll be far worse than being disturbed by my alleged snoring that you made such a fuss about, as I recall. You really do need to go away and think things through."
"I don't need to think about things. I know what I want even if you don't, Louisa. I'm just going to take a quick shower, then I'll be on my way - leave you to 'think about things' as much as you need to."
With that Martin jumped up, gathered up his clothes and headed for the tiny shower room.
"Martin, wait…" Louisa called after him. Oh why did he have to take it that way, as if she was rejecting him?
When he came out, he was fully dressed. He sat on the edge of the bed to put his shoes on, and started talking to her as if he was her doctor rather than her lover.
The protective mask was back in place, and he was a closed book to her again.
"What time train are you catching tomorrow to return to London?" he enquired, in a very business like manner.
"The 11:05am from Bodmin Parkway. No changes with that one, and it means I won't be back too late. I've got work first thing Monday morning," Louisa explained, trying to catch his eye and see his expression, but he wouldn't look at her.
"Then I'll be here tomorrow morning to take you to the station. Goodbye Louisa." Martin briefly pecked her cheek and then left the room, shutting the door firmly behind him.
"But Martin..." Louisa tried to call him back, but it was too late. He'd gone.
Louisa lay back in the bed and let out a big sigh. Everything was black and white to Martin, with no shades in between. But she really wanted to be sure this time round that they were making the right decision. She had their child's future to consider as well as their own now, and in her opinion being caught up in an unhappy marriage would be far worse than being brought up by a single mother.
Well, what had she expected? Things were never going to be easy with Martin, were they?