To Wait a Lifetime

When Rukia opened her eyes she could still feel her whole body tingling as a consequence of that last kiss she and Ichigo had shared, the aftertaste that wasn't really in her mouth and yet she could still sense was of a mix of strawberry, spice, danger and something else that made it all uniquely Ichigo.

Still half in a daze the young shinigami washed, got dressed in her shihakusho and went to train for a bit before the time came for her to report to her captain.

As she walked through the division's halls she noticed the people around her giving her ample berth, most went as far as looking anywhere but at her. She knew that some of them had always acted like that, they either disliked her for being a 'Rukongai brat' that somehow ended up being taken in by a noble family, or hated precisely because she was now a noble. Still, the few that had at some time accepted all that now turned away from her too, she supposed it was a consequence of the way she acted upon her return from the Transient World a few months ago. Back then she had been so utterly depressed she had closed off from everyone, not wanting to talk or see any of her friends or comrades. She'd spent nearly a full week locked inside her quarters, and only came out when her captain demanded she returned to her duties; even then she would go through the motions mechanically, never talking unless talked to, never wanting to be around other people unless absolutely necessary.

Weeks passed by and instead of getting better they got worse, and no one understood why. They thought it was because she was keeping it all in, and they tried to make her talk: to Renji, to Byakuya, to her captain, even to Unohana; nothing worked. She left them very clear she wasn't like this because she had to leave the Living World, not even because she'd had to say goodbye to Ichigo. And technically she wasn't lying, but how was she to explain to them that she'd had been waiting for months to see Ichigo again, every night waited, and he never appeared to her.

She instinctively knew that the way she was expecting Ichigo to appear to her wasn't normal, it wasn't something she could discuss with anyone. And yet, she also knew it was possible, she and Ichigo could connect, the very same way they had once before. She also knew it wasn't related to being a shinigami, not exactly; after all, Ichigo had used it once to find her, at a time when she hadn't been a shinigami, when no one but him and Kon even remembered someone named Kuchiki Rukia even existed. So now she believed that in that same manner they could reach each other again, in a way that didn't require him to actually have spiritual senses to see and be with her. And yet, he had to want to connect to her.

The weeks passed by, once by one, and Ichigo never showed up. Eventually Rukia began wondering if maybe he'd forgotten everything already, maybe he'd decided to move on with his life, and that's why he never showed up. If that was it, shouldn't she be happy for him? Wasn't that exactly what she had wanted? For him to move on? To have a peaceful life, like a normal human ought to? Yes, yes she should be happy for him. Then why did the mere thought of it all make her so utterly miserable?

.-.

It took several months of being in an almost perpetual depressed state for Rukia to finally ask her captain for a few of days off. He was only too happy to grant them to her, and eyed her speculatively as she left the division. She made it to the Kuchiki estate in record time and through their private senkai gate, thanking the spirits that because of the time of the day there had been no one around to question her on her destination or plans. The first was quite obvious: Karakura Town, and she wasn't totally sure of the second herself.

She exited the gate on a random street near the limits of Karakura Town and from there began walking in the direction of the highschool, it was early enough that she knew Ichigo would still be there.

It was actually lunch hour and Rukia found Ichigo sitting on the rooftop, along with his friends as was usual. They were all eating and chatting among themselves, even laughing a bit at times. Even Ichigo. For a moment Rukia wasn't sure how she should feel: happy because he had moved on, or sad because he'd forgotten her so quickly?

Lunch was over shortly after her arrival and she watched silently from a tree branch how everyone hurriedly got their things, jumped on their feet and ran into the building, obviously afraid of being late to the next class. Ichigo was the only one who didn't seem to be in any hurry whatsoever, taking his time to put his trash in the bin and then calmly walking to the door, hands in his pocket; a moment before crossing the door his head turned to the sky and Rukia noticed him whispering something, but it was so low and she was so far away she didn't hear what it was.

She spent the rest of the early afternoon watching over Ichigo from a nearby branch, at different points during the day she noticed Ishida, Inoue, Chad, and even a few others turn in her direction, though only the first three actually met her eyes, nodding as inconspicuously as they could to acknowledge her presence. They realized she wasn't there really to visit them, and therefore didn't bother trying to approach her, Rukia was thankful for that, she didn't think she could handle chatting with them, reminding herself so blatantly she could never visit Ichigo in the same way ever again.

The time finally came for the class to end and Rukia began following Ichigo. He walked for hours, never stopping for rest, snaking his way through Karakura in a manner that seemed pretty random at first. Rukia wondered how he could walk so much, never stopping to rest or to it, and as they moved she began realizing a few things: like how thin he seemed, he had always been slim, but now he locked almost sickly thin, his skin was almost too pale, not even his tan hiding it, even his hair seemed to reflect how little he cared for himself lately. That was the first signal Rukia got that he might not be as over her, over everything, as she'd initially come to believe.

The next came when she finally found the pattern in Ichigo's walks, they'd just arrived to the riverside, the same place where she'd had to watch him fight against that evil creature, Grand Fisher, she almost lost him that night; she also knows that's the same place when, as a little nice-year-old, he lost his own mother.

That was the first time since the beginning of his walk that he actually stopped, even if only for a minute, then he got moving again.

"You're remembering, aren't you?" Rukia whispered, half-shocked, half-touched. "All the places you've walked through, it wasn't at random, they were places where we battled, or where other important things happened…You walk through every single place, force yourself to remember everything…Do you do this every day Ichigo?"

She knew it was useless to expect an answer from him, he couldn't see, hear or sense her in any way, still, she kept following him. Now that she knew he hadn't forgotten, and not only that but that he'd taken steps to prevent himself from ever forgetting him, he wanted to know more, she needed to know more.

The last stop was actually the front of the clinic, she watched how he laid his hand on one of the streetlight-posts, his eyes closed for a moment, as if he were calling forth a memory of a time long past; this was one memory that remained pretty fresh in her own mind: of the very day it all began.

Then he crossed the street and turned to look back in the same direction for a moment, and then up into the sky. She recognize those motions too, it was the exact same stance he had taken when he could see her no more…the day everything ended.

They had come full circle it seemed. The beginning and the end of their adventure, the beginning and the end of her life…and maybe his as well…

She chose not to follow when he went inside, she knew both Isshin and Karin could see her, and was sure that if any of them did Ichigo would notice at some point, the last thing she wanted was to affect his life with her presence, especially when it wouldn't change anything. It was hard enough for her, she didn't want to make it worse for him too.

From her hiding spot in a nearby tree she could hear Yuzu calling him for dinner, and then how Ichigo refused to go down, arguing he wasn't hungry. For the way no one fought him on it, and Yuzu even delivered a tray with food to his door Rukia gathered this was nothing new. And then again, seeing how little of the contents of the tray he actually ate before throwing away the rest she began realizing just why he was so thin, why he looked so weak.

"But why Ichigo?" She asked to no one in particular. "Why aren't you eating? Why are you allowing yourself to grow so weak?"

It took hours for him to fall asleep, and even when he did he was very restless, she could feel the tension the moment she stepped into his room, he may have no powers anymore, and yet his very soul was drowning in despair. Rukia felt like her very weak, barely beating heart would finish breaking at any moment.

That certainly had to be the worst night in Rukia's life. She fell asleep in the closest in the early hours of morning after having to watch Ichigo spend practically the full night going from one nightmare to the next, he never spoke out, never cried, never trashed, he would just tense up and whisper the same word through gritted teeth.

And it was that word that had sent Rukia into her own sobbing fit, barely managing to control herself so as not to call another Kurosaki's attention into the room.

That word was: Rukia…

He kept calling her name over and over, as if it were some kind of prayer.

In the late hours of dawn she just couldn't handle it anymore, she knelt next to him and began to caress his hair very softly. The effect was almost immediate, his body went limp so fast that she almost cried out in panic, until she felt his calm breathing, his heart-rate too had gone back to what was normal for a sleeping human, and even his expression seemed relaxed.

However, with the sunrise she had to hurry and hide inside the closet, before Isshin noticed her, she used all her knowledge to fully hide her reiatsu and yet she almost threw caution to the wind when, merely seconds after she let go of him, Ichigo's restlessness came back. She didn't have long to contemplate on it however, because shortly afterwards he was out of bed and beginning his usual routine to get ready.

It was way too early to go to school yet, and yet not even his father seemed to find it odd as he watched Ichigo pass by in the hallway. With the door ajar Rukia was almost sure Isshin had turned in her direction, that he knew she was there, but still she remained in the same spot, unmoving. She finally fell asleep after listening to Mizuiro call for Ichigo, as it was time for them to go to school; she had felt how Ichigo had spent the early hours of the morning pacing on the roof, but hadn't dared get any closer to him, not again, she was afraid of losing control. Besides, Mizuiro would have been able to see her.

Rukia woke up again in the early afternoon, to find a bento and a juicebox in the desk, along with a note from Yuzu saying hello. She had been found, at least they hadn't told Ichigo. She knew it was a bad idea, to be there, so close, but she'd needed to see him. And after what she had witnessed the previous day, especially that night, she knew she'd to do something to help him, she just had no idea what.

After finishing the bento and juice Rukia noticed a notepad in a corner of the desk, and suddenly an idea occurred to her; it was crazy, and it defiantly went against her own reasoning of not interfering in Ichigo's life anymore… But spirits be damned if she was going to allow him to keep drowning in his own despair for the rest of his life!

After finding a Chappy pen in one of the nearby cases, her own pen as she remembered; Rukia wrote a short but direct letter, left it in the middle of the desk, and then allowed herself to have another nap, in her futon inside the closet, it was defiantly the best sleep she'd had in months.

.-.

It was late afternoon when Rukia woke up again, she knew it was a bad idea to stay, as much as she may want to be there when Ichigo read that letter, if his reaction was bad she might not be able to stop herself from touching him, and once she did…it would just be too hard.

So, swallowing her fears and barely managing to stop herself from taking the letter away before it could be read Rukia left the small bedroom and the Kurosaki residence itself behind. She decided to patrol around the town, even heard a hollow alert at some point, but by the time she got there the hollow had been dealt with; she wasn't sure if the resident shinigami was responsible, or one of her nakama, couldn't bring herself to care too much about it either.

That night she decided to spend it in the Urahara shop. And even as she laid down on the futon in one of the spare bedrooms she couldn't help but wonder how Ichigo might react when he read that letter…

It took her a while, but finally Rukia managed to relax enough to sleep. Like every night for the last several months her eyes opened to the ultimate Winter scenery. It was her domain, like a perfect hideout.

She began strolling calmly through the few trees in the limits of the frozen meadow, calmly extending her hand to hold a snowflake every so often. She didn't know if it was because she wielded a snow-based zanpakutou, because something was different with the snow in that realm, or simply because the world she was in wasn't truly real, but the snow didn't melt in her hands, neither did it make her feel cold. It was almost like holding a delicate white blossom, so beautiful, so special.

The young shinigami was considering skating for a while when suddenly she sensed a change in her surroundings…she was no longer alone.

"Ru…kia…"

She spun around immediately, and at first she didn't see the anything, until a gentle breeze helped her realize that the white form she was seeing a few feet away from her wasn't a tree or a rock, but a human figure, a white-yukata clad young man, the very one she'd been waiting for for so long. Yes, it was him, his orange-hair was unmistakable, as were his deep amber eyes, even if that moment his face was arranged into an expression of shock like none the violet-eyed shinigami had seen before.

"Ichi…go…" She whispered.

His eyes opened even more right then, it was really him, she knew that, though it seemed he hadn't fully realized that it was really her as well.

"Ru…kia…" he repeated. "Is that really you, Rukia?"

"Yes, it's really me, Ichigo." She nodded with a soft smile.

Barely two seconds later she felt her feet leave the ground as he held her into his arms, tightly enough that it would probably leave bruises; and yet in that moment she was so happy to have him there, with her, finally, that she didn't really care for a few bruises.

It took a few seconds before suddenly his knees folded underneath him. Still he didn't let go, instead allowing himself to fall backwards so she wouldn't get hurt.

"I can't believe you're really here…that I am really here." He whispered.

"I've been here, waiting for you, for a while now." She whispered back.

That was enough to send him reeling back into reality.

"You've been…waiting for me…" He gasped. "How long?"

"That doesn't matter." She told him softly, caressing his cheek with one hand. "What matters is that you're here now…"

"Answer my question Rukia." He insisted to her, holding her hand immobile, tough still in contact with his own face. "How long have you been waiting?"

"Three months, give or take." She admitted.

"That's been about as long as the time that has been since I lost my powers!" He cried out.

"I know."

"You've been waiting for me all this time…" he practically slapped himself. "I've been so stupid. So utterly and absolutely stupid…and to think that if it weren't for your letter everything would have continued the same way…"

"So that means you read my letter?" She smiled brightly at this.

"Of course I read it. Nearly gave me a heart attack, when I saw that pen over my desk, and then your little scrawls over the paper. Nearly thought I had gone nuts, finally."

"But you understood what my message meant."

"Obviously." He deadpanned, then began repeating her message word for word. "You once said we were linked, that you believed we'd been linked for a very long time, and once such links are created they cannot be broken. I believe that too. You've used that bond to find me once already, you can do it again; you only need to try." He sighed and then embraced her tightly again. "I began trying right away, and yet it took me a very long time. At first because of my doubts of not being able to do it. After all, I was a shinigami back then, I don't have any power any more, how was I supposed to find you? And yet I did it, somehow, after what felt like the longest time, I finally found my way to you."

"I'm glad you did." She told him, giving him a long kiss on the cheek and then whispering into his ear. "I've missed you so much…"

"Me too Rukia, me too…" He admitted.

They stayed in that very some position for what could have easily been five minutes or five hours, they couldn't bring themselves to care either way. Until suddenly Ichigo got moving.

He managed to get once again on his knees, with Rukia straddling here.

"I'm so stupid…" he began suddenly.

"I think we already covered that." She quipped with a small laugh.

"Shut it midget." He snapped a bit, but his tone almost immediately went back to being serious yet soft. "Here I have another chance and I'm once again letting my fears ruled me. Zangetsu would have been pissed at me…"

This confused Rukia, she had no idea what he was talking about.

"There was something I should have said all those months ago, the day I lost my powers." He began explaining. "Something I should have said but didn't, I let fear rule me, but not anymore. There's no way I'm letting this chance go."

"What are you talking about, Ichi…?"

She couldn't even finish her question, for suddenly her lips were too busy for any sound to come out of them, except the moan that came almost a full minute later.

"I love you Rukia…" was all he whispered a bit later, his lips still touching hers lightly.

No verbal answer was given, nor was it needed, her answering earth-shattering kiss was more than enough for both.

.-.

The following morning she didn't know if she should laugh or rant at Ichigo next time she saw him. The change in him was so profound, he either didn't want or just couldn't hide it. The way he greeted his family that morning, actually ate breakfast, chatted with Mizuiro on the way to school; it was shocking. She noticed the difference during their lunch period too, what at first she had believed was normal now it was obvious just how forced it had all been, the smiles, the laughs, the frivolous chat; only now, seeing what Ichigo really was like in a good mood, did she realize how false everything from two days before had been. And apparently so did his friends, the shock in their faces was simply priceless.

She couldn't help but berate him when they met that night, remind him how abnormal their situation was, and that it would be best if they didn't call attention upon themselves. Though, to be honest, she could already imagine her own change in attitude would be pretty obvious too upon her own return. She just hoped no one would care to dig too deep into that.

And then there was their promise, they'd promised to wait for a lifetime, for their chance to be together again. She knew very well that could be from a few days to over fifty years. And as sad as it made her to have to wait for so long, and as much as she wanted for them to be together already; she knew he deserved to have his human life, there would be enough time for them to be together later, millennia worth of time. And just the fact that they would one day be able to be together, that nothing and no one would be able to tear them apart then, was enough for Rukia to be ready to handle whatever was to come.

.-.

There was a smile on Rukia's face as she crossed the Senkai gate back to Seireitei that morning, everyone noticed, and yet no one dared to ask her any questions.

She spent most of the day gathering her things from her room in the Kuchiki estate, deciding it was time to go back to full duty. People would ask about it whether she did it then or a year from then, and she decided that if Ichigo had promised to live his life to its best then she had to do the same thing. She wondered what Ichigo's face would look like if she managed to achieve some high rank by the time he joined her? She would love to see it! All the more reason to focus and improve herself in the time she had.

That night she saw Ichigo again, as a routine was formed. They both explained to each other how they were getting their lives back in order, it was time to let go of their depression; yes, he might no longer have the power to see or feel her in the real world, she might no longer be able to spend every single day with him. But they still had lives to live, and people who worried for them, they couldn't throw their lives away just because they fell sad; and whatever may come, they would always have that bond, that would allow them to meet every night, in their dreams, till the day they might once again stand side by side.

"Kuchiki Rukia, reporting for duty, sir!" She spoke formally as she stood before her captain, now that her time off was finished.

Ukitake watched her, and he could see in her eyes the change in her. She was so strong, able to move past things that may have crippled the strongest of warriors, but not her. He had no idea what had changed, and he chose not to ask her. Having her back was enough.

"It's good to have you back, Rukia-san." He smiled at her.

Her answering smile was blinding, a smile of hope, of life, of love…

I'm sad to say I had expected a bit of a more positive reaction to this fic...still I'm very thankful for the two people who saw fit to review, as well as tho those who marked this story in either their alerts or their favorites.

Here I've brought you the second part of this fic, which probably should have gone before the other one, except that when I first planned this story I like the impact Ichigo's attitude would cause on Orihime. Not sure it went quite like I had hoped, but what's done is done.

Now, just to let you know, this fic will have a total of four chapters, so not really a short fic, and yet not an epic (like most I write). I hope you'll like what's to come, the next chapter will be up next Friday, sooner if I get enough reviews asking for it. And just so you have an idea what to expect I leave you this little teaser:

"Rukia!" He yelled as soon as he saw her. "Are you alright?"

"Ichigo!" Rukia called, shocked at his sudden arrival. "...I'm alright, why shouldn't I be?" She was truly utterly confused.

"I know there was a fight today, and that you were injured." He explained, his eyes boring into hers. "I've spent the last eight hours waiting for a moment when I could meet you, to make sure you were alright."

"I already told you I'm ok." Rukia reassured him. "...how did you know I was fighting, or that I got wounded?"

"I felt it." She answered her, a hand going to his chest. "In here."

That and more in "Everlasting Bonds"'s next chapter: Changing Seasons.