Chapter 8

Marlena opened her eyes just as Teagan was coming in the room holding a tray of food.

"You're awake." He smiled. "I left a note saying we are not to be disturbed."

Teagan set the tray down then slipped off his robe and got back in bed.

He grabbed a strawberry and held it out to her and Marlena took a bite. "So you intend for us to stay in bed all day?"

"Indeed I do." Teagan grinned. "Do you have any objections to that?"

"Oh no." Marlena grinned. "I do hope you realize people are going to find out about us sooner or later though."

"Britta already knows." Teagan said. "I bumped into her on the way back upstairs. She said she knew we would end up in bed the minute she caught me spying on you swimming in the lake."

"I like Britta." Marlena said as she ate some grapes.

"I am amazed she did not quit considering the hell I put her through. I'm thinking of keeping her on as Rowann's nanny with a substantial raise of course."

"That is an excellent idea!"

"By the way, where did you get this scar on your shoulder?" Teagan asked as he traced it with his finger.

"I got that when I was liberating Amaranthine." Marlena shivered when he kissed it.

"Lena, back when we were fighting you said something about being if you could be a Grey Warden again you would not want to be one. What did you mean by that?"

"I lost the majority of my ability to sense darkspawn after I got pregnant." Marlena said. "It was supposed to be difficult for one Grey Warden to conceive to begin with and virtually impossible for two of them to. I defied the odds there and somehow it changed me. The Grey Warden from Weisshaupt said I must have been able to become pregnant because I was still experiencing cycles…just not monthly like before my Joining. She believed the pregnancy somehow dilutes the taint."

"So does that mean your lifespan will be longer?"

"The Weisshaupt Warden told me she did not know if being pregnant made me immune or just extended my lifespan. She believes I will definitely live longer than the thirty year average. She also came to the conclusion the reason conception is so extremely rare in Grey Wardens is that it makes them lose their abilities. So basically I'm just your average rogue now."

"You will never be average to me Lena." Teagan said as he fed her another strawberry.

"I suppose I could have stayed in the Wardens but after…what your brother did, it was best to leave."

"To this day I will never understand how Eamon thought you were consorting with Nathaniel Howe."

"Your brother saw me comfort Nathaniel after he discovered one of his father's journals that not only showcased in great detail his hatred for my father but his plans for the destruction of my family. There were some very sick and twisted entries on what he was planning for me and it upset Nate. It was not easy for him to come to terms with what his father became."

"What did Howe plan for you?" Teagan asked. "Or do I even want to know?"

"I was going to be his….plaything Teagan." Marlena said.

"Maker's blood." Teagan was aghast. "Considering how I feel about my brother, I can certainly understand why you wanted to comfort Nathaniel."

"Your brother simply used that moment to his advantage." Marlena said. "I realize now from things told to me and from what I read that while Eamon liked my father, he felt threatened by my family's popularity. I could have chosen to rule with Alistair but decided he should rule alone. It was Alistair who continued to pursue me after he became king and I was rebuilding the Wardens. I just never expected to become…pregnant."

"I'm so sorry for what my brother did to you." Teagan put his arm around her. "I will never understand why he never took the crown for himself."

"It's alright Teagan. I've learned to live with what happened and I think what Eamon did to you was even worse."

"He did do one decent thing though." Teagan said. "He had your brother summon you back and for that I will be grateful."

"I'm happy to have come back to help you Teagan, I just never expected to…never expect us..."

"Nor did I." Teagan interrupted. "I have no regrets Lena. All I know is its time to move forward and that I want to be with you."

"I feel the same way about you Teagan."

Teagan set the tray on the floor and wrapped his arms around her.

"My son would have only been a year older than Rowann." Marlena said.

"Michael would have been two now."

Marlena huddle closer to Teagan and they enjoyed the silence as they held each other.

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As Teagan promised, they spent the day in bed. When they weren't making love they would just hold each other and talk. They would share the pain of their loss, talk about their dreams of the future as well as well as make plans. Teagan wanted Marlena to be a part of Rowann's life and wanted her to stay with him and she agreed in a heartbeat.

Marlena and Teagan also realized they would have to see the king when they brought Vaughn to justice.

"You know I'll be there for you." Teagan promised.

"I knew I would have to deal with seeing him sooner or later." She sighed.

"You don't have residual feelings for him at all?" Teagan asked.

"I'll always remember the special moments I shared with him." Marlena said. "But I can't forget Teagan. He could have defied Eamon and at least listen to my side. He didn't even think the baby was his. He chose to believe your brother. I was already pregnant when your brother saw me comfort Nate. I know when and where my son was conceived and Alistair should have had the sense to remember to count those days. Instead he chose to believe that there was no possible way the child could be his. A great many assumptions about the Grey Wardens were shattered during the blight. He should have believed that I would have never betrayed him. I know your brother never gave Alistair those letters I sent until recently, but the damage has been done. So to answer your question, I will always cherish the memories but there is no way I can ever go back. Alistair is my king and nothing else now."

"Alistair was a fool but I blame Eamon for how he turned out." Teagan said. "I think my brother harbored a lot of resentment to Maric having been unfaithful to our sister which is why Alistair slept in the stable and why Isolde's abuse was ignored. It actually was good when he was sent to the Chantry."

"You are going to have to deal with Eamon eventually." Marlena said.

"I know." Teagan sighed. "He wants me to reclaim his arsling but I am just not ready to go back to Redcliffe where it…happened."

"I'll be there for you when you are." Marlena said as she kissed him.

"Since we are opening up to each other, there is something you need to know and it's probably something I should have told you a long time ago." Teagan said. "You will be the third person that knows. Eamon doesn't even know because the sin I committed directly affects him."

"You know you can tell me anything Teagan and I would never judge you." Marlena caressed his cheek.

"It has to do with Connor, Lena." Teagan bowed his head. "You see, he is not Eamon's. Connor is my son."