I've been sitting here staring at the clock on the wall

And I've been laying here praying, praying she won't call

It's just another call from home

And you'll get it and be gone

And I'll be crying

She could hear the soft sound of rain pounding against the roof in perfect rhythm, matching the soft breaths of the man lying next to her. A small tear slipped from her eye as she looked up at him from her spot on his chest. Even in the dark he looked perfect. She traced her fingers along his rugged jawline as she exhaled a sharp breath. She knew deep in her heart that he was going to be the only man she'd ever love. Too bad he wasn't hers to have. He was married to her former best friend, Peyton Sawyer. There was no person that Brooke Davis hated in the entire world more than Peyton Sawyer. Peyton seemed to enjoy letting boys tear their once strong friendship apart. First it was with Lucas, not only once, but twice. Then it was with her husband Julian. It seemed that Peyton always wanted what she couldn't have.

"Good morning beautiful."

A smile made its way across her lips as she leaned up and gave him a chaste kiss.

"What are you thinkin' about?" he asked with a small smile as he reached up and brushed a stray piece of hair from her face, letting his fingers run along her cheek. He could always tell when she was troubled.

"Nothing," she lied as she pressed her lips against his again; this time in attempt to avoid his question.

"Nice try babe," he grinned as he flipped over so that he was facing her. "I can tell that something is bothering you. I thought we were gonna be honest with each other Brooke…"

"I was just thinking about this," she motioned in between them. "I just wish that I could have you all to myself."

"I know Brooke… but you know that I can't leave Peyton because of…"

"Sawyer. Yeah, I know," Brooke looked down as she bit her bottom lip. "I just wish it could be me. Not Peyton."

When the affair started nearly a year ago, it had started purely out of revenge. Walking in on her former best friend and her husband going at it was a tough pill for her to swallow because she had been so in love with Julian. She truly believed that he was the one for her. But clearly she'd been wrong. He was never the one for her. It had taken her all of two seconds to file for divorce. But it was much more complicated for Lucas. He still had Sawyer to worry about and he didn't want Sawyer to have divorced parents so he made it work for her sake.

RING RING RING

"Ugh," Lucas growled as his phone broke Brooke from her thoughts. "Just a sec…" he apologized as he flipped the silver device open. "Yes?"

"Where the hell are you?" Peyton screamed on the other end. He wasn't expecting Peyton to be up at this hour. It wasn't even six o'clock yet and she usually didn't wake until at least eight.

"I spent the night at Nathan and Haley's…"

"Bullshit you did!" she argued. "I called Haley this morning when I didn't notice you sleeping in the spare room."

"Peyton…" Lucas breathed out as he rolled his eyes. "I told you that I had some things to take care of…"

"Am I not enough for you?" Peyton whined, causing both Brooke and Lucas to roll their eyes simultaneously. "I know that I've made some mistakes…"

"That would be an understatement," Lucas retorted with a snort.

"But I thought that we were going to trust each other and try to work out our issues. I can't do that if you aren't willing to co-operate."

"Chill out Peyton. I crashed at some guy from works house. We went drinking after work and I didn't want to drive drunk. I'll be there in a few minutes okay."

"Fine," Peyton answered flatly. "I love you Lucas."

"Yeah, you too," he grunted as he flipped his phone shut.

"Sorry beautiful but I gotta go," Lucas groaned as he stood up and searched for his pants. "Peyton's got a thing for work Thursday night and Sawyer is spending some time with my mom so I'll drop by then," he promised as he yanked his jeans on and leaned forward to give her a passionate kiss.

"Goodbye Lucas," she smiled lightly as she watched him grab his keys and head for the door. "See you Thursday."

"I'm sorry Brooke…"

"It's okay," she smiled as she nodded her head understandingly. "It's time to return to reality."

And I'll be begging you, baby

Beg you not to leave

But I'll be left here waiting

With my heart on my sleeve

Oh, for the next time we'll be here

Seems like a million years

And I think I'm dying

What do I have to do to make you see

She can't love you like me?

As she waited for her coffee to brew she glanced at a picture of her and Lucas holding baby Angie on her fridge. God, it seemed like just yesterday that this photograph was snapped. But that was eight years ago and she had been a naïve twenty two year old. Now she was thirty, divorced and not able to have children. When had everything become so fucked up? It had been exactly one year since her affair with Lucas had begun and exactly one year since she found Julian and Peyton together in her bed and ended her four year marriage. As she stroked the picture of her and Lucas, her mind wandered back to the day that she had started her affair with Lucas.

FLASHBACK

Brooke Davis-Baker was in an extremely good mood as she entered the house that she shared with her husband of four years, Julian Baker. She amplified the volume on her iPod as a song she loved began to play. It was only three thirty in the afternoon and she was home early from work. She dropped her grocery bags on the floor and called for Julian. When she didn't get a response she popped her headphone back in and ventured upstairs to find her husband.

"Julian! I'm home!" she called as she made her way to the bedroom and swung the door open nonchalantly.

The sight before her was not what she expected. Like a deer caught in the headlights, her husband looked up from the sheets he was under, his face beaded with sweat.

"Julian?" she looked at him with a heartbreaking expression. ".God," she gasped for air as she covered her hand with her mouth. Emerging from the blankets was Peyton Sawyer, her best friend.

"Brooke…" Peyton sighed. "This isn't what it looks like."

"Really," Brooke scoffed as a tear fell from her eye. "Because it sure looks to me like you're fucking my husband."

"Brooke…" Julian breathed out. "Look, I can explain."

Brooke held her hand up gingerly. "I don't need an explanation Julian, I had to see it with my own fucking eyes! I'll be bringing you the divorce papers tomorrow."

With that she turned and stormed away, tears escaping her eyes at a rapid pace. She didn't even try to stop them.

She drove the streets of Tree Hill aimlessly, no destination in mind. But, she was brought back to the one place that she'd called home for much of her teenage years; Lucas's house. It was only fair that he knew.

She stood on his doorstep, tears clouding her eyes, and slowly exhaled a sharp breath before lifting her hand to knock.

It took only a few seconds before he answered the door. She and Lucas didn't talk much at all anymore. They had become very distant over the last few years. They had never been able to be "just friends." That shit didn't work for them. He and Peyton had returned to Tree Hill about a year and a half ago and they still only spoke at family gatherings or exchanged the odd hello when they passed each other by in the grocery store. He was surprised to say the least when he saw her standing on his doorstep, clearly distraught.

"Brooke…" he whispered as she let out a heart wrenching sob. "What's wrong?" He moved unsurely towards the brunette and placed his arms around the broken woman that stood before him.

"Tell me, Lucas, am I not enough? Why can't I ever just be enough for someone!" she screamed bitterly as tears continued to roll down her face. "I just wanted to be enough for someone! That's all I ever wanted! I wasn't enough for you and I sure as hell wasn't enough for him!"

"Brooke… what are you talking about?" Lucas blinked in confusion as he ushered the brunette inside and closed the door.

"Julian!" she yelled his name like he was some kind of a disease. "I was such an idiot to trust him. Every time I open up my heart, I just get it fucking ripped apart."

"What did he do to you Brooke?" Lucas pressed, a hint of anger flaring in his tone. He didn't like where this conversation was headed.

"Well," Brooke drawled as she tried to find a way to put this. "I decided to surprise my husband by getting off work early, only to walk into my house and catch him in bed with another woman…"

"That bastard!" Lucas yelled as his protective instincts kicked in. "Where's my fucking baseball bat," he seethed as he looked around the house. "I swear to god I'm gonna beat his face in."

"Lucas," Brooke whispered brokenly as she placed a hand on his shoulder. "He's not worth it."

"I can't fucking believe he would do that to you Brooke; after all the shit you've been through…"

"Lucas…" Brooke gulped as she clasped her hands together. "There's more…"

"What?" he snapped his head to look at her. "What do you mean there's more?"

"It was Peyton," she whispered quietly, staring at the ground.

"What about Peyton?"

"She's the one that Julian slept with… Lucas I'm so sorry…"

"You've got to be shitting me," Lucas deadpanned as he stared at her in disbelief. Peyton wouldn't do that, would she? It wasn't until he actually confronted her about it a few hours later that his biggest fear had been confirmed.

"I talked to Peyton," Lucas whispered gingerly as he looked at his hands.

"And?"

"She didn't deny it."

"God, when did our lives become so fucked up?" Brooke questioned as he exhaled a deep sigh. "I mean seriously, would you have believed ten years ago that we'd be sitting here with each other, both having just found out that our spouses cheated on us with each other? It also seems so surreal."

"Peyton and I have been having issues for quite some time but I can't believe that she would do this now! And with Julian of all people! You would have thought that she'd learned her lesson in high school."

"It hurts doesn't it?" Her statement was simple, yet fueled by years of pain and anger. Being cheated on by Lucas was something that she would never forget no matter how happy she was. It was always going to be burned in the back of her mind because it was the first time that she truly felt she would never be enough and forever fall short to Peyton Sawyer.

"Huh?" He turned to her with confusion written across his face.

"Being cheated on by the person you love with someone that is supposedly your friend. It hurts doesn't it?"

"Brooke…" He whispered upon seeing the look of pain on her face. "I'm sorry…"

"It's fine," she mumbled as she momentarily waved it off. "It was a long time ago, let's not pry open old wounds." She sent him a small yet forced smile.

"I was an idiot," he spoke up, looking at the ground briefly. "I was such an idiot for treating you the way that I did. I didn't appreciate you enough and I sure as hell didn't deserve you Brooke."

"I don't blame you," she whispered as she looked at her now bare ring finger. "Well, in part I blame you. But I also blame myself. I was so afraid of giving my heart to you that I didn't fight for our relationship like I should have."

"Brooke…"

"The day after Naley's wedding reception, Peyton asked me something," the brunette mumbled as she quickly cut him off. "She asked me if I was in love with my boyfriend…"

"What d-did you say?" Lucas choked out, clearly shocked by his ex-girlfriend's current revelation.

"I didn't say anything," Brooke answered quietly. "My answer should have been automatic but it wasn't. It was in that moment that I realized we had a problem. I shouldn't have to question my love for you."

"You said you stopped missing me. But you also said that you loved me and that you probably always will…"

"Yeah I know. I told you that I stopped missing you but the truth is I never did. Until, I met Julian, I was so hung up on you. God, Lucas, you just walked away from everything. I didn't want you to do that. I wanted you to fight for me. For us. That is all I wanted. But you couldn't even do that!"

"Brooke… I didn't know… I, god, I'm so sorry."

"Whatever, Lucas, that was a long time ago. We're different people now but I just wanted you to know that I don't blame you entirely. I never fought for us either."

He looked down, sadness filling in his blue eyes. He didn't realize the extent of the damage that he had caused her all those years ago.

"Lucas, can you do something for me, please?"

"What?" He looked up, blue eyes meeting hazel ones, and sent her a small smile.

"I want to feel again. I just want to forget the pain that Julian and Peyton inflicted upon me. And I know that you want to too."

"Y-you want me to sleep with you?" he stuttered, not sure if he'd heard her correctly or not.

"Yes," she whispered sharply, hate brewing in her eyes. "I want to forget. They did it to us, so why not do it to them? Let them feel the pain that they've made us feel…"

"Are you sure that it will fix everything? I mean are you sure that we should be doing this?"

"Yes," she nodded her head surely. "I want to."

"Are you suggesting that we have an affair?" Lucas kinked an eyebrow at the brunette.

"Yeah, exactly. It could be our little secret," she mumbled as she began to unloosen the buttons on his shirt. "And nobody will ever have to know." Her lips hungrily attached to his as she began moving backwards, towards the bedroom.

Tonight, she would forget. She would learn to feel again. Even if it was just sex-meaningless sex with someone that she once cared deeply for.

END FLASHBACK

She didn't realize it now but that meaningless sex would turn into something more, something that would forever alter her life. If anything, she thanks Julian and Peyton for what they've done. It made her realize that Julian isn't the one for her. He never was. Julian is the practical choice, the safe choice. But Lucas, he's the right choice, she knows that now. It's always been Lucas.

She knows that for now, all it can be is an affair, kept hidden in the dark. Things are too complicated right now for them to ever work out. But she hopes that one day, it will. Because people that are meant to be together always find their way in the end.

AN: So, here's my Brucas one! I finally found the inspiration to finish it but it's very unpolished and quite honestly, I have mixed feelings about it. It's not that great, I know, but whatever, I tried. So lemme know what you all think. And next one will be Brooke/Clay as promised!