Final installment of The Talk! i hope you enjoy it. All credit to the wonderful Jane Austen. cheers!
Elizabeth and Jane slowly followed Mrs. Bennet and Mrs. Gardiner into the room the two girls had shared for the last twenty years. Lizzy whispered to her sister:
"I do not believe we will be able to sleep in this room after this talk, Jane," she said nervously. Jane shook her head at her sister.
"How can you be joking at a time like this?" she asked, half incredulous. "How can you be so calm when they are about to have this conversation with us, and when we know that our uncle has Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy with him talking about marital relations," Jane looked like she had half a mind to run out of the room and never stop.
"I am not calm, my dear sister. I am anything but. But, as it is, wit is the only way I believe either of us will be able to survive this particular conversa—"
"What are you girls talking about?" Mrs. Bennet screeched in their direction. "You know, you must know what we need to talk to you about. Your wedding night," she said, the faint blush that graced her cheeks the only sign that this conversation would be mildly uncomfortable for anyone in the room.
"Mama, must we really speak about this?" Jane asked quietly. Jane was always more quiet than Lizzy, but now she also sounded much graver than usual.
"Yes, yes," their mother answered, "It is an unfortunate but necessary duty. At least you have your mother to tell you about it! Imagine the chagrin of Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy at this moment!" she said. Lizzy imagined that their mother was trying to make Jane feel better, but contrary to the soothing effect the words were meant to have, Jane blanched further still. Lizzy blushed, thinking about having to face Mr. Darcy after their two separate ordeals.
"Well, best to get on with it, then," their sensible aunt said through the awkward silence. "I shall go first, unless there is something you want to say first, Jennie," Mrs. Gardiner looked at her sister.
"No, no. Go ahead. Goodness knows my brother has already started to lecture the two gentlemen downstairs," she said flippantly.
"Well, then girls. Prepare yourselves for what you are about to hear: everything you have ever been taught about propriety does not apply in marriage," Mrs. Gardiner stated matter-of-factly. Lizzy looked at her, expecting more. When she said no more, Lizzy finally looked up and nodded. Satisfied, Mrs. Gardiner continued.
"Men are…quite different from women," she started. Lizzy looked at Jane.
"Surely we could have figured that out ourselves," she whispered, trying to set her sister at ease. Then she proceeded to say that aloud for her mother and aunt to hear.
"Lizzy, Mr. Darcy will surely not tolerate your cheek for very long," Mrs. Bennet huffed, "A man of his status is in want of a quiet, obedient wife," she said knowledgeably. Lizzy then said that on the contrary, Mr. Darcy had fallen in love with her for her wit, and that she had no intention of quitting the use of it, even on their marriage night.
"Which brings us back to the subject at hand, ladies," Mrs. Gardiner said pointedly. Lizzy sighed inwardly. She thought that she had sufficiently distracted them from this unpleasant conversation. "As I was saying, your future husbands may not understand fully the problems you may have, my dears."
Lizzy tried to wrap her head around the problems she may have. Jane tried very hard to not think of anything at all.
"What…problems…might those be, aunt?" Lizzy asked slowly, painfully. She wanted to get this conversation over as soon as possible.
"Well, such as your courses, Elizabeth," her mother answered matter-of-factly. Jane blushed deeply, as stark contrast from her former pallor. Lizzy briefly wondered if she should worry about her sister fainting. "Men do not have all that much knowledge on the matter of womanly things, as much as they have a mind for business. Even ask your Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth." Lizzy had no intention of doing so. "They simply do not understand the way women's bodies' work, which brings me to the next issue. One that is perhaps far more important."
'Important,' was not a word Lizzy wanted to hear in respect to this conversation.
"It will be painful, your first time," Mrs. Gardiner said quickly, to spare her nieces from hearing that sentence from their mother.
"I think this is all we need to survive our marriages. Jane and I must leave now," Lizzy said hurriedly as she grabbed Jane's hand and they quickly left the room, as their mother called out. As they were hurrying, Lizzy quite missed the fact that there were two other people making their escape out of the house. For the second time in her life, she almost ran straight into Mr. Darcy. She determinedly avoided his eyes and thought it might be best for them to return to Netherfield for the remainder of the day. Mr. Darcy spoke, not looking at Elizabeth, but rather, behind her.
"Well, I think it is in the best interest for both parties if Bingley and I were to return to Nether-"
"Would you like to accompany us on a walk, Miss Bennet? Miss Elizabeth?" Mr. Bingley quickly interrupted Mr. Darcy, who looked quite agitated with his friend.
The four of them set out on the path of the gardens that was usually taken by Elizabeth and Jane on sunny days. Jane and Mr. Bingley stood a foot away from each other, walking side by side. Elizabeth was walking closer to Mr. Darcy, but when their elbows brushed, both of them blushed profusely.
I do not think I am capable of surviving this walk, Elizabeth thought to herself. She looked ahead at Jane and Mr. Bingley, who were not talking either. I am determined to act normal. We cannot continue this way because of a simple talk!
"Mr. Darcy," she said clearly. He looked at her in surprise, as if he had not been expecting her to speak. She could not blame him. She had not been planning on speaking.
"I think that if we left Jane and Mr. Bingley it would be sufficiently less awkward. We insist on exchanging knowing looks and horrified glances in each other's company, you see," Elizabeth explained as Jane turned around to shake her head violently, and Bingley turned also to mouth the words please, no in the direction of Mr. Darcy. Secretly, he also thought that he and Elizabeth should clear the awkward air that they had about them, and that it would be helpful for Ms. Bennet and Bingley to do so too. They could not, however, do that in the presence of one another. That would solve nothing.
"Yes, I quite agree with you…Elizabeth," he said, pausing before he said her name to keep himself from stuttering. "I think perhaps you and I should walk towards the lake, then, Ms. Elizabeth," he said, looking at the ground rather than his fiancée.
"Yes, and you and Mr. Bingley should perhaps walk to the field then, Jane?" she said, trying to calm Jane down as she said the words. Panic was written over both hers and Mr. Bingley's face. Without waiting for an answer, Elizabeth said, "Well yes. Mr. Darcy and I will be on our way now. Good day for the time being."
The couple walked towards the lake in relative silence. There was a clear air of discomfort. Finally, when Elizabeth had just about had enough of the silence and almost spoke, Mr. Darcy said:
"I have never been subjected to any such conversation, you know. We may as well clear the air now," he said nervously. Elizabeth was surprised. This conversation was not something that she wanted to have with him, yet…she had to, she knew. She looked at him, examining his face.
"Mr. Darcy, what exactly did you and my uncle discuss?" she asked curiously. He blushed profusely. She realized that she was blushing as well.
"That is…not of importance! No, no. You see, Bingley and I both lost our fathers before they could…ah, inform us of such matters. Or give us a book on such matters, which would have been wholly appreciated," he muttered the last part of the sentence, not really intending for Elizabeth to hear. Of course she did anyway. She laughed. She stopped smiling when he said:
"What did your mother and aunt talk to you and Ms. Bennet about?"
Without thinking, she blurted out:
"Our courses."
Wonderful, Elizabeth thought to herself. They were both blushing and avoiding the other's eye, all because she had not had the wisdom to keep her mouth shut about womanly ailments. Mr. Darcy was still looking at the ground when he gave a short cough. She looked up.
"You know, when, erm, Georgiana was afflicted, we thought she was dying," he said off-handedly.
Elizabeth could not help but laugh, and she laughed and laughed until tears were starting to stream down her face. He looked at her with indignity.
"Can you really place the blame on us? How were we to know? It was awful…" he trailed off, looking embarrassed. Elizabeth only laughed and shook her head.
"How did you find out that she was fine? How did she find out that she was fine?" Elizabeth asked curiously.
"Mrs. Reynolds. She found one of the dresses Georgiana had hidden…and explained it to us. Together," he shook his head, trying to rid his thoughts of the conversation he was clearly remembering.
"Although," he added thoughtfully, "That conversation was nowhere near as horrific as the ones I am sure we both suffered through today."
Elizabeth finally looked him in the eye, and he did not look down. She linked hands with him.
"No, I highly doubt that there ever was or ever will be a more embarrassing talk than those." They exchanged a glance that meant the exact same thing.
"Shall we never speak of these conversations to each other again?" Mr. Darcy asked her carefully.
"No, no. We shall not," Elizabeth answered.
And with that, they set off to find Jane and Mr. Bingley, who would surely be sitting on the bench by the field with three feet of space between them.
I hope you enjoyed this fic. Please review! I am in the process of writing a full length modern P&P fic, so leave a comment in the review if you have any interest in that! thanks for reading!
-ifshondeydukes