To Feel In Control

Ch. 3

He knew that Wilson would pick up on his thoughts today. His mind was still swimming; something was telling him that something serious could be going on. He didn't want to bring attention to it though. He didn't need his world to come crashing down because he was losing his mind, or at least thought he was. What was he going to do? Maybe he was just sleep walking and just thought he blacked out, but he wasn't known for sleep walking or even dreaming for that matter. It would take some extra effort today but he was going to try to keep it out of his head and just focus on the case work today. If he could just make it back home today he would be fine.

"What da we got?" House asked as he walked into his office to find all three in the conference room and Cameron using his markers on his pretty white board. They briefly discussed the case and while the ducklings went to do the usual tests House decided to sit in his favorite chair and listen to some music to help put his mind at ease. Between songs he drifted off and woke up again, still in his office. He stood up and walked into the conference room to find it exactly the way it was before, but Cameron was there. She was sitting in the room all by herself and was staring at him.

"What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in the lab?"

"I've been waiting for you."

"Waiting for what? Get out of here and do your job."

"I've had enough of you pushing me around, telling me what to do."

"If you stuck to your opinions I wouldn't push you."

"I'm sticking to this one." With that Cameron pulled out a gun and pointed it at him.

"Where's your sarcasm now House? Your witty retort to my opinion. You always have one."

"Cameron, come on now. Be sensible."

"Oh this makes so much sense. Goodbye House."

With that Cameron pulled the trigger and House froze. He wanted to run but couldn't.

Suddenly House jumped, almost a foot out of this chair. Someone had touched his shoulder and woken him up.

"What the hell?"

"House you ok? You were sweating and looking all panicky."

"How would you know what I look like when I'm all panicky? What do you want?"

"I wanted to check on you. I know your panic face. I've known you too long not to. When Stacy was going to leave and you could tell, you looked panic stricken."

"Well thanks for waking me up. Wilson?"

"Yeah…"

"Can we talk in private, uh after lunch?"

"Of course."

Cameron walked in with the test results and Wilson saw a look of nervous-ness and maybe even fright in House's eyes when she walked in. He let her report and told her what to do next and then she left. Wilson continued the conversation.

"House, you need to talk to me now, in my office."

"No, let's do it later."

"No, when you look nervous and scared around Cameron you and I need to talk now."

The two of them entered Wilson's office and he locked the door behind him. No one was going to interrupt this conversation, and also House wasn't leaving until he had told him everything. He made a phone call and then put the automatic voice mail on so that they weren't disrupted and House could use the phone call as a get away.

"Alright now tell me everything. I'm here as a friend who just happens to be a doctor as well. I care about you and your health is included in that. You obviously aren't healthy right now, is it the Ketamine?"

"I think it might be. Remember that dream? Well, this morning I woke up in my bed and last night I was asleep on the couch."

"Yeah I left you there, didn't want to wake you."

"That's fine. Then today I fell asleep in my office and had a sort of hallucination or dream or something and Cameron was in the conference room and was going to shoot me because I tell her what to do and shoot down her ideas or something."

"In the hallucination?"

"Yeah. That's why I was a little nervous when she came in, because I wasn't sure if I dreamed that or if it was really going to happen." He paused and Wilson just sat there. "I just want to feel in control of my life, I can't be in control when my mind is playing games with me and getting me all paranoid."

"You're right. Let's think about how to get your control back. Any other symptoms besides the dreams and black outs?"

"Not really, no. Had a headache this morning, but thought it was just because of the alcohol and the lack of water intake from yesterday."

"I'm not sure what's going on, let's get a CT of your brain and go from there. Do you want me to get Cuddy involved? She'd want to know."

"No, you are just playing friend with an MD not and MD with a sick friend."

"Right, let me schedule that CT. You need a relaxant to calm you down?"

"I get off the Vicodin and you are prescribing relaxants now?"

"Just to take your edge off, you look like Cameron is really gonna shoot you."

"She might, maybe I could use one. A light one, I don't want to sleep for a while."

Wilson made a phone call and after scheduling the CT for later that evening he filled a prescription for House. Returning to his office he found House still on his couch.

"Take one and hang out here. If the team needs you they will page you or something. If they need you they will find you. Just take it easy until they seek you out."

"Thanks Jimmy. Always there. I'm here for you, and you're here for me."

"Now that's the sedative talking."

"You're right, it is. By the way, I like your eyes. Only time I could say it, and blame it on the drugs."

"Good night Greg."

He was waiting for the retort of 'you never call me Greg' but when he looked over he found a sleeping House. He would stay there until House got up, incase his sedative endused dream was too much for him, as the last one was.