EPISODE THREE
Thanks to Patchkit for Willowheart's dare! I don't own Warriors or Super Mario. Quick, read it so you can find out where something from Mario comes in.
(Redfang and Shinyheart walk in. Willowheart is sitting in a corner petting her explosives.)
Redfang: Welcome to the Warriors….
Willowheart: (has bomb held close to her face and is stroking it lovingly) There, there, BoBo. (smooches bomb) I'll go bye-bye for a bit but then I'll be back. (puts down bomb and picks up dynamite.) Diana, you know what to do. Keep an eye on the little ones for me. (kisses dynamite.) Oh, come back here, Bobbi. (gently grabs a Bob-omb that is walking away.) No running away, okee-dokey? (Bob-omb squirms) Okee-dokey, Bobbi? (Bob-omb makes a noise) Good. (looks up) Oh, hi.
(Shinyheart and Redfang are staring straight ahead like they did in Episode One.)
Willowheart: Oh dear. A relapse. (claps twice; Cinderpelt appears.)
Willowheart: Hey Cinderpelt can you figure out what the heck is wrong with them? …Bobbi! Bobbi, come back here right now!
(The Bob-omb is wandering off again. Willowheart stands in its path, and it turns around. Cinderpelt limps out of its way, and it heads for…)
Willowheart & Cinderpelt: No! Stay away from them! (Both rush to intercept its path, but they are too late. The Bob-omb runs into the frozen Redfang and Shinyheart and lights itself. Cinderpelt and Willowheart screech and run for cover. The Bob-omb runs in circles and…)
BOOOM!
(A hole blows in the top of the room. The other explosives thankfully did not kaboom, but most of the room did. Cinderpelt and Willowheart had hidden behind a large metal box that had protected them from any injury. Shinyheart was shaking herself and gingerly inspecting her injuries. When Shinyheart had confirmed that all she had were bruises, she turned to Cinderpelt and Willowheart.)
Shinyheart: What happened? All I remember is Willowheart petting her bombs, and—
Willowheart: (very embarrassed) Th-that doesn't matter. You guys froze up again. I poofed up Cinderpelt to check on you, but Bobbi ran away. I must mark her down. (Whips out a notebook and writes in it. Shuts the notebook and turns to Cinderpelt and Shinyheart.) Every time one of my explosives blows up, I write down who it was. I have more than—
(Groaning interrupts her. Redfang had taken most of the damage from the bomb and had passed out. He was waking up now.)
Redfang: (groans) Oooh…my head… (there is a large lump on his head) I feel—(pukes)
Willowheart & Shinyheart: Eeeeew! (Willowheart hides behind the crate again, and Shinyheart backs away holding her nose. Cinderpelt sidesteps the deluge of vomit and calmly waits for Redfang to finish.)
Shinyheart: (whispers into a walkie-talkie) Could we get a janitor in here? And could some maintenance come too? Be prepared for major explosion damage.
Redfang: (finished) Blargh…
Cinderpelt: (goes around the janitor cat sprinkling sawdust on the puke) I suspect you don't feel too well, Redfang.
Redfang: (looks at Cinderpelt with bleary eyes) No, I'm not…how do you know my name? (coughs)
Cinderpelt: It said so in the dialogue. (holds out cup of water to Redfang)
Redfang: (mumbles) Thanks. (starts gulping it down)
Cinderpelt: I wouldn't do that if I were you. You don't want to puke again, do you? Sip it. (Redfang starts sipping.) Good. Now, do you have any allergies or illnesses I should be aware of? Are you currently taking any medication? Have you had any trouble with your heart? You will answer my questions when they are asked. Resistance will be punished; cooperation will be rewarded. (Redfang looks at her confusedly.) Sorry. Little joke from the guy who interrogated Captain Sheridan. (Redfang looks even more confused.) You know, from Babylon 5? The old TV show during the early 90s? (Redfang shrugs) (mutters) Young cats…don't know any of the good shows.
There really was a show during the early 1990s called Babylon 5. I love it and it's my favorite TV show but only a few adults I know have heard of it. The one who knows the most besides my parents only knows that it was a science fiction show during the 90s. My family has every single DVD of every season and the little bonus discs too. You will not get what Cinderpelt just said unless you've watched a bunch of Babylon 5, which I suspect you haven't. If you have…will you tell me? Maybe your parents have heard of it or even watched it. You could see if it's on YouTube, and you could probably Google it too.
Cinderpelt: (muttering) You will cooperate with the state for the good of the state and your own survival.
Shinyheart: Will you cut that out?
Cinderpelt: Sorry.
Hehehehehe I liked that one. I made myself LOL.
Cinderpelt: So, Willowheart, what did you poof me up for?
Willowheart: Whenever Shinyheart and Redfang see something shocking they get all frozen.
Cinderpelt: (pulls out stethoscope) I must examine them. Redfang, Shinyheart, do you have anything else to say to Willowheart?
Redfang: Patchkit dared you to stay in a dark room with mysterious voices talking to you. (claps paws weakly; Willowheart disappears. Shinyheart goes over to the machine and flips a few switches, then follows Cinderpelt.)
COMMERCIAL BREAK!
Okay it's a Babylon 5 commercial yes I am obsessed with Babylon 5.
Lennier: It was the year of fire.
Zack: The year of destruction.
G'Kar: The year we took back what was ours.
Delenn: It was the year of rebirth.
Vir: The year of great sadness.
Marcus: A year of pain.
Delenn: And a year of joy.
Londo: It was a new age.
Franklin: It was the end of history.
Lyta: It was the year everything changed.
Garibaldi: The year is 2261.
Sheridan: The place, Babylon 5.
Yeah that was actually the first half of the theme thingy for the fourth season. You can probably find that on YouTube. Okay here's a different commercial.
(Peaceful music plays. A starry backdrop covers the whole screen. There is a light blue haze over everything. A leopard-spotted cat pads in with stars in her fur.)
Leopardstar: Welcome to StarClan.
Stonefur: We're your warrior ancestors.
Silverstream: We watch over you.
Feathertail: You can always see us in Silverpelt. (picture of Silverpelt appears on the backdrop.)
Mosskit: We—
(Peaceful music suddenly stops, and the blue haze lifts. A bunch of ThunderClan, WindClan, and ShadowClan cats from StarClan come in.)
Goldenflower: Yo what's up with all the RiverClan cats?
Russetfur: Yeah we're in StarClan not four different Clans.
Tornear: Let's get this party started!
(Disco ball pops out of nowhere and starts rotating. A bunch of other cats come in. Balloons fly, confetti scatters, and cats yell. A voice sounds.)
Mysterious announcer voice: StarClan. Your warrior ancestors.
Commercial break is over. Back to the show.
*Willowheart is crouched in a corner of the dark room with her paws over her ears, whimpering. The voices are echoing in the room.*
*Cinderpelt is poking and prodding the other two hosts with every type of medical instrument imaginable.*
Cinderpelt: Okay, now I need you to breathe in deeply. (Redfang breathes in) Now let it out slowly and fart as long and loud as you can. (Redfang looks really confused but does what she says.)
Shinyheart: Ewwww! What was that for? Redfang, your farts smell like the inside of a badger who has eaten way too many servings of cat litter and then got smushed by a monster, died, then lay rotting for a moon! Also I'd think that you'd be really embarrassed to fart so much in front of two girls.
Cinderpelt: Okay, Shinyheart, your turn!
(Shinyheart is so shocked and freaked out about this that she lets out a record-breaking fart right then and there.)
Redfang: (Rolling on the floor laughing)
*Hehehe okay maybe not every kind of medical instrument imaginable. After checking every part of the two hosts Cinderpelt steps back and gives her diagnosis.*
Cinderpelt: First, Redfang received a minor concussion from the explosion. That's why he puked. And as for you two freezing up at every shocking thing…I think you have KDD.
Shinyheart: KDD? What does that mean—Kill Dumb Deer? Kick Dumb Darkstripes? Kindle Dumb—
Redfang: What is with you and "dumb" and hurting people?
Cinderpelt: KDD stands for "Kitty Drama Disorder". I think you figured out what the main symptom is. Now does Willowheart have to stay in that room for the whole episode?
Redfang: Not the whole episode, just most of it. Meanwhile we can relax while she sits there.
*Willowheart is still in the corner of the room. She is letting out occasional wails and basically freaking out. She only moves when her muscles are about to explode from stiffness. Reluctantly she takes her paws off of her ears and moves to a different spot in the room. The voices increase in volume at her stirring and she whimpers. Suddenly the door to the room blows up.)
?: We have come to rescue that who takes care of us.
*Meanwhile Redfang and Shinyheart have poofed Cinderpelt away at her request. Redfang starts to do important work.*
Shinyheart: You said we could relax, not work!
Redfang: I wanted to use my time wisely. (continues writing)
Shinyheart: (sighs) (whispering to herself) Okay, last resort. (pulls out something.)
Redfang: (still toiling away at his work. Suddenly his work slows and then stops.) Is that…do I smell…? (looks up) Yes! It is! Reese's Peanut Butter Cups! (Yeah I chose them because they are one of my favorite candies) Yes! Gimme gimme gimme!
Shinyheart: If you hold off on the work I will give them to you.
Redfang: Anything for REESE'S! (abandons work)
(Two minutes later Redfang is bouncing off the walls)
Redfang: (chanting) SU-GAR! SU-GAR! (somehow finds his way into Willowheart's weapon stores.) Oh look, a tranquilizer!
(Shinyheart is reading the magazine Your Tom and You. Suddenly she feels a slight pain in her side. Startled, she turns around and sees Redfang with an evil grin on his face and a tranquilizer gun in his paws. She passes out, then Redfang stupidly shoots himself with it.)
*Meanwhile again Willowheart is nervously asking who is there.*
Willowheart: (nervously) Who is there?
(The smoke from the explosion clears. Willowheart lets out a gasp of surprise as a horde of Bob-ombs trots into the room.)
Lead Bob-omb: We have come to rescue you, Willowheart. You have taken great care of our kind and we are in debt to you. We fulfilled that debt by rescuing you from this prison. Be free, Willowheart.
Willowheart: (dips head) Thank you, Bob-ombs. I shall never forget that you rescued me. (Bob-ombs leave.) (shouts) FREEDOM! FREEDOM! FREE-DUUUUM! (leaves and sees the two passed-out hosts)
Willowheart: Oh dear. (to camera) Well, thanks for watching! We need more dares! Please submit your dares and hosts! Remember, be nice to Bob-ombs!
Please submit your dares because I need some really badly!