AN: Sorry for the delay, RL got in the way of posting, it was really hard to write and then there were problems with ff net last night so it was fated I guess. This is the last chapter—there is an epilogue to go and that should be up in a couple days so until then!
(It's kinda short and it shows but I didn't want to stretch it out like Last of the Summer Wine (Brit reference, sorry guys) so it's stops in a place that I think is right)
AND HAPPY SUMMER!
He crashes into the mirror, shards of glass raining down over him as he hits the floor. Fucking mirror. Who the fuck puts a mirror over a fireplace anyway?
"Sam?" Dean groans, clutching at his head. He's still a little dizzy from seeing inside his own soul. "Cas?"
"Your brother isn't here to protect you now," the demon taunts, she taps her heel into the grain of the wood, almost impatiently.
Shit. He's back in the house with the crazy ass demon. At least he has clothes on; fate isn't a complete bitch.
Dean opens his eyes and stands up defiantly, his pride flaring up and proving he isn't weak, as he brushes bits off glass off himself like they didn't throb where they cut him, "Bite me."
And he's totally aware he is completely defenseless and totally fucked but he is not going down without a fight.
The demon grins wickedly and moves forward, an expression of sheer smugness on its face before it transforms to one of agony. It opens its mouth to scream, but only a muted choke can be heard and a soft light appears between its lips before the body crumples to the ground.
"It is over Dean," Castiel says from across the room, (and sorry, what? When did he get there?) staring at the body hard, almost like he's daring it to get back up.
"Thanks dude, I needed that," Dean says, about to cross his arms over his chest but he can't because it irritates all of the hundreds of cuts he seems to have accumulated. That's going to be a pain in the ass; he probably has a couple of juicy bruises on his back as well from being thrown into the mirror. Fucking thing.
"You are injured Dean," Cas moves over to him, before he can jump or move away, and grasps his wrists tightly to examine his cuts, one arm at a time.
"Yeah," Dean mutters with a blasé air, staring downwards as the grain of the floor suddenly takes on an interestingly quality that Cas couldn't achieve, "I couldn't help but notice that."
Castiel frowns and looks up, "You are using sarcasm; do you wish me to stop?"
"No, no," Dean can hear the hurt in his voice. He makes the mistake of looking up into Cas's face and becomes slightly distracted with his eyes. What the hell is happening to him? He trails off, "I was just being…" a stupid fucker.
"Look, we need to talk," Dean says stepping out of Castiel's grasp and looking at the wall since that way he has a chance of being coherent, "something big has just happened."
Castiel nods, and Dean knows that he has sensed something, but says nothing in that infuriating manner of his.
His future self is totally gone on Cas, he concludes, his thoughts sound like something out of a teenager's diary. He only saw the inside of his future self's soul, saw why Future-Dean was in love with Castiel for a split second. But now, those reasons seem to have imbedded themselves into his essence so they're now his reasons for loving Castiel too. He's seeing Castiel the way his future self does. Fuck.
"And there's something else I want to talk about. You and me – I kind of had an epiphany while I was…" Dean rubs his face, why is he doing this now? "Look, I can't really explain how I know this, but you and me, in the future we're-"
"Dean?" Sam runs into the room and Dean is so grateful since he really wouldn't have been able to stop himself talking, "Thank God. I had the knife, about to kill your demon when the other one was getting away so-"
"Don't worry about it," Dean interrupts, feeling like someone let the air back in the room, "dude, you would not believe what has just happened to me."
"This is fucked up Dean." Sam says disbelievingly from the passenger seat of the Impala with a hand on his forehead, "There is no way you could have gone to the future because someone took your soul. Things like that just do not happen."
Dean rolls his eyes, "What so it's okay for good old Zach to swing by and drop me in 2014, but when a demon steals my soul and I go time-traveling that's not okay? It happened, get over it."
"Hmm," Sam ventures, "say this actually happened. What went on while you were there?"
"I can't tell you," Dean grins. Guess whose turn it is to be left in the freaking dark now? "You two in the future said that I didn't tell you what happened during my little trip."
Sam shakes his head, "Of course."
"And you fuckers refused to tell me what happened with the apocalypse." Dean adds grumpily, "Practically rubbing it in my face all the damn time. Sadistic bastards, the both of you."
"Really?" Sam says sarcastically, "You know, this is sounding more and more like a dream. Did you hit your head when you were thrown into the mirror?"
"He did not dream this," Castiel says, quietly from the backseat of the Impala where he hasn't said a word since Sam disrupted their moment, thing, whatever. "I do not understand how this happened, but I sensed there was a split moment when he was not here. That is why I came."
"My hero," Dean says mock sappily, taking a hand off the wheel and holding it over his heart before he shifts back to being serious, "If Cas says it happened and I say it happened; it happened."
Sam nods his head, reluctantly conceding, as Dean pulls into a motel.
"Cas can you give us twenty minutes?" Dean says, turning round to face the angel in the back of his car, "I need to talk to my brother."
Castiel nods then disappears.
"I'm presuming you want to talk about what happened when you went into the future?" Sam asks again as they get out the car. "I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume we didn't sit down together and bake cupcakes."
"I don't know how much I can actually tell you," Dean admits as he sits on the trunk and Sam sits next to him, "I think all I can say is that I get pulled into the future, until you guys fix me and then I get sent back here."
"Well that's helpful," Sam says as he shifts his mammoth sized legs so they're stretched out, "so what was the future like exactly?"
Dean's mind wanders back to his newly formed relationship with Castiel and he wonders how much he can tell Sammy without scaring him for life. Yeah, I realized that I'm going to fall for an angel and we're gonna fuck like rabbits after we get the shit between us sorted out. "Not bad for a post-apocalyptic world."
Sam pulls this face that he makes when he's doing some serious thinking, "Would it be possible for us to stop it? I mean, I'm gonna assume that you guys found whoever was behind all this right? And that's how you got back." He waits for Dean's nod before he continues.
"So we could use that information to gank this son of a bitch now," Sam reasons, "that way we could avoid this whole situation and everything."
Dean considers this carefully, he knows the license plate and that the guy's name is Adrian, they could ask local hunters to keep an eye on any activity in that old house—it'd be quite easy to kill him really. Catch him when he's unawares, Dean wouldn't have to go through that whole thing again or have his soul removed in the future.
And alright, yeah he's not looking forward to being crammed into some glass jug for a week.
But then, following that line of reasoning, he wouldn't see his future soul either and he wouldn't fall in love with Cas.
At this point, Dean's stomach rumbles.
"Sammy, we need to get me some food." Dean says, "Time traveling makes me hungry."
Sam throws him an incredulous look which he ignores.
Cas appears on the other side of the parking lot, perfect timing, since Dean didn't want to continue that conversation and have to explain why he didn't want to go through that ordeal again. Dean waves him over, "Come on, we're gonna get something to eat."
Castiel opens the door and trails behind the brothers as they look for a diner.
"We are not eating in there." Sam says as they stop outside a grubby looking eatery. "We have standards."
"Man up, Samantha," Dean mutters as he pushes the door open and then his brother through it. It's good to be back.
Sam slides into the booth first and Dean sits opposite him naturally. Normally, this is well, normal, but Castiel is with them and after a moment's hesitation he decides to sit next to Dean. Normally, Dean wouldn't mind, but sitting so close to someone who makes you dizzy whenever you look into their eyes for too long when you don't want to admit your feelings for them to them, or yourself, isn't such a good idea.
"Dude," Dean grouches as he makes a performance of taking off his jacket and stuffing it in between him and Cas to act as a barrier, "give a guy some room to breathe."
Sam watches them both, probably analyzing Dean's odd behavior, but flicks his eyes back to the menu when he realizes Dean is glaring at him.
"Okay," Sam says, "what do you want to eat Castiel?"
Dean's brain supplies a plethora of suggestions. He gulps and shifts uncomfortably in his seat as a particularly vivid one flashes to the forefront of his mind.
It's early morning by the time they get back to the motel.
"We'll take two rooms," Dean says to the tired looking woman behind the desk as he slaps some bills down, "two queens."
Sam's face transforms into a look that's like watching an old woman see the English Royal Wedding.
"Don't say anything," Dean shakes his head slowly since he's drunk with tiredness. And maybe a little beer, "Cas and I need to have a little catch up about some, erm, things…"
"With one bed?" Sam repeats with a disbelieving look on his face, "Yeah, you two are gonna do some catching up alright."
The woman behind the desk looks a little perkier, much to Dean's annoyance – goddamn nosey people, and gives him a long, all knowing look over her glasses as she hands him their room keys.
Dean snatches them off her and throws one key at Sam, "C'mon Cas – let's get outta here."
The room is generously sized, but when the door clicks shut softly behind Cas and it's just the two of them (and Dean's bags) it feels tiny.
"What did you want to talk about?" Cas asks, still on the other side of the room.
Dean lets out a nervous laugh, because he's panicking and there's still time for him to run out the room. The Impala keys are in his jacket pocket and he fingers them, "I think you know already."
"You have changed," Castiel says. "Your soul is… For lack of words, better, healthier."
Dean walks over to a drawer because his father did not raise a coward and leaves the car keys there. He doesn't stop moving either and paces around the room because his thoughts are racing around his head. "Look, I just need to know… Shit, I can't do this." He stops mumbling and pauses in front of Cas, "Are you attracted to me?"
And shit, this couldn't have gone worse if Dean had just handed him one of those notes saying, 'Do u lyk me? Check Y/N'
"Are friends not attracted to one another?" Castiel says, "That is why they're your friends, because you see something in them that attracts you to them."
"I was kinda thinking more than friends." Dean mutters.
Castiel looks surprised, "In that case, yes I believe I am attracted to you."
And it's such a simple statement, one that Dean wasn't expecting to hear from this Cas despite Future Cas's words. Relief floods him and he steps forward into Cas's space and presses a chaste kiss to his lips. Cas is gently responsive after a while, it's not apparent that he's not done this before – muscle memory from the body and all, but it feels like he hasn't done it for a while. Even so, it feels good to know that he's the only one that's kissed Cas. It kinda scares him how much he's willing to do to keep it that way.
When Dean steps back, Cas's eyes are wide and he presses a hand to his lips, curious. "What was that for?"
"I feel the same," Dean says, "there were some things I didn't tell Sam about the future. Me and you; we were together and you—future you that is, showed me what we'd be like, how you felt."
Dean paces nervously and rubs his hand over his face, "Look… You have to understand. Not many good things happen in my life Cas." He turns towards the bed where Castiel is sat staring at him, "Actually, you're one of the best. I've lost too much already, I know a good thing when I see it and I don't want to let you go."
He stops his pacing and pauses, because although he's had a lot of time to write this speech of undying love for Cas, and it's perfect in his head… It's just a chick-flick moment and the words would get stuck in his mouth.
He could tell Cas that he's the only one who understands him; that he knows everything about Dean; that he's rather have Cas in his corner than anyone else; that he needs someone who's okay with his past, with the shit that he pulled in Hell; that Cas is fucking awesome; that he'd follow him to the end of the world if he had to; that he feels that he doesn't deserve him.
But, who is he kidding? Love never ends well for the Winchesters.
"Dean?" Cas says in a quiet tone and grips Dean's hands distracting him from his whirlwind thoughts, "Breathe. Do not over think this, over complicate this or make it difficult. I know that what you're about to say is a big deal, and it will take you a long time to be able to say it aloud. I understand that one day you will be able to – just not today. I understand how you feel Dean; I am intimately acquainted with your soul."
Dean nods, because now they're both on the same page and he feels like he can fucking breathe again.
"Better?" Castiel asks and Dean grins, because he never knew how much he needed him.
"There's something I have to tell you though," Dean says, because there's just one thing left that's puzzling him, "I saw inside my soul."
Castiel's looking at him with wonder now, "You are truly an anomaly."
"Huh?" Dean is so articulate, yeah.
"Aside from being the first to be raised from Hell, you are also the first to see inside your own soul."
Dean frowns because this seems like something that will have bad consequences, "Is this good?"
"Well now you see what I see in you," Castiel says. "Hopefully it will help."
"I don't speak colors, Cas," Dean interrupts, "I can't explain what I saw—it was just this overwhelming, intense, abrupt experience. I mean, I felt like I understood a lot more about myself in some aspects."
He pauses, then stops before he can continue to talk about his man-pain, then takes the defensive side. "I'm not a fourteen year old girl writing my feelings down in my journal. I can deal with it."
"Everyone hates themselves for something at some point in their lives," Cas says, because he knows why Dean stopped talking about what he saw, because they both know what was there, "few can say they don't, but fewer can claim a purity that your soul has. It is rare."
Dean shakes his head and shrugs out of his jacket, "I don't want to talk about this any more."
The angel is silent, and Dean is suddenly reminded of a sharp contrast between the Castiel stood before him, and the Cas of his future. That his Cas has a long way to go before he becomes, well, more human, for lack of better words.
"I know what," Dean says as he tugs the angel's tie, "I want you to stay tonight." Because saying that is easier than saying things like I'm scared I love you this much, never leave me and I love you.
He thinks Castiel knows anyway.