Irina

forlornfearlessfaded

Power is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow; it will forever remain unattainable. You can chase after it all of your life, but it will never allow itself to be captured.

I have wasted my life chasing that illusive dream. Many times it seemed so close that I could almost feel it, could almost celebrate the victory of finally capturing it, but it would not give me the satisfaction. Every time, it would vanish just as I was so close I could almost taste it. It was like water, wet and slippery, sliding through before my fingers could ever truly grasp it.

It is all an allusion. Like a rainbow, it is visible, tangible, but never attainable. Only the naïve are foolish enough to run after it.

I was once one of them.

I was young, with idiotic dreams and ambitions floating through my head, and longed to be that special one who would finally accomplish what no one else had done before me. I desired to prove myself, to take down all those I had deemed unworthy. I was determined to prove that power did not only belong to the rich. Nobodies are capable of being powerful, despite what they may say.

My first attempts were rather successful, I must admit. I weaseled my way into the society that claimed to have possession of power. I was an outsider, unwelcome, unaccepted, but I remained there, nonetheless. I was an observer, a double agent, working for them but harboring secret aspirations of my own. But I did learn something very important during that time: power is just as much of an illusion to them as it is to anyone else. The only difference is that they pretend to have it; they act as though they own it. Just another of their fanciful lies.

But watching them act as though they were the only ones who deserved it motivated me. It made me all the more determined to keep it away from them. I couldn't let them win. And when my son died, it shattered my world, but it still did not distract me from my ultimate goal. It did just the opposite. I not only longed to teach them a lesson – I wanted revenge.

I have wasted so much of my life feeling that way. I was blinded by the rewards, not realizing that with every step the rainbow was moving farther and farther out of reach. There is no pot of gold. I've given up all hope of catching it. Then why am I in the Clue hunt? It is an odd question, one I am not sure I know the answer to. At the beginning, it was for revenge. For power. But now? My motives have changed. The ending is near, I can feel it, and someone is going to pay the price. Will it be me? Possibly. But whatever happens, one ambition will remain: preventing others from deceiving the world, pretending to possess something that they will never have.

XoXoX

I realize that Irina is already dead, but let's just assume that she said this right before her death. Otherwise, it wouldn't really make sense...