Chapter 6

Selena was completely floored; she had no recollection of kissing Sister Demi. To be fair, there was a huge gap in what she remembered from last night, but one would have thought an event like that would stay in her mind for all eternity. She tried very hard, but all her efforts were to no avail. Dallas walked around her to get out of the room. After a few seconds, Selena got out of her daze and followed her.

To say she was surprised was the understatement of the century. She found the dancer waiting for her in the hallway. She was at a loss of what to say, so they walked to the kitchen in silence. Dallas rummaged through the fridge until she found a small container. She uncovered and nuked it for a couple of minutes while she served two cups of coffee. She gave Selena some cream and sugar for it and got some tableware.

"Are we alone?" Selena asked a little worried about the wisdom of being on her own with a hung-over, angry, cutlery wielding, Dallas. She desperately wanted to know what was going on in the older girl's mind, but she was afraid of bringing the subject up. She was also extremely curious as to why Sister Demi had told her sister they had kissed. Was she not aware of the boatload of a mess she was unleashing on her? Had they really kissed? Was it good?

"I told you my parents took Maddie into town. The little penguin is next door visiting." Dallas said dryly. Somehow, Selena felt a little angry about the way Dal referred to her sister. It was irrational; she had found it endearing before. However, it confirmed her fears, they were alone, and Dal was going to murder her. There was nothing to do about it; the older girl was stronger, faster, and more devious than she could ever be. They would never find her body.

Dallas got the food out of the microwave; it turned out to be huevos rancheros and refried beans. Supposedly, the hot salsa that covered them would help recover from the alcohol overindulgence. Same deal with the orange juice Dal had also gotten from the fridge. They ate in silence and Selena briefly considered asking about getting some flour tortillas, but she was pretty sure she would get hers laced with rat poison. They managed to finish their breakfast without speaking and looking at each other.

Selena had never been a coward. She had done a lot of crazy stuff when she was a kid, she had faced her share of angry lovers, and she sure as hell wasn't going to let Dallas intimidate her. If she was going to kill her, then so be it; she would go out swinging. And maybe, just maybe, there was a small chance Sister Demi felt something for her other than friendship. She knew it was slimmer than a popsicle's chance in hell, but she was willing to go for it.

"Can we talk, Dallas?" Her voice was a little bit whinier than she would have liked. So maybe she was more scared than she thought.

Dallas sighed forcefully, and then dropped the dishes she was washing into the sink with more force than necessary. "What do you want to talk about, Selena?"

Selena was irritated. So it was going to be this way. "About your sister, I don't know what she told you, but I was as drunk as you were last night, so I don't remember anything. I need you to fill me in. You know I would never do anything to hurt you or your family. Christ, Dallas! I love your family as if they were my own! You have to know that!" Selena said vehemently.

Dallas turned slowly to meet Selena's stare. "Yes, I know that Selena. At least I used to think I knew. The fact that your mother and mine are such friends, Brian and Eddie, you and I; it always felt right to me. You are my best friend, Selena. I can't think of anyone I love or trust more than you. When I have needed you, you have been there for me. I know I'm not perfect, but I like to think I was good for you too. Maybe I wasn't, but I always tried my best. Do you want to know why I never introduced you to Demi?"

Selena remained silent.

Dallas looked tormented; she took a small sip of her juice and leaned on the counter. "She always was a normal kid. Smarter than most of her peers, granted, but she was normal enough. We used to have an amazing relationship, even though she never wanted anything to do with show business, and that was all I cared about. Mum always respected her wishes. She played tennis and she was good too; there was talk about her going pro when she got older. However, when she was 13 she injured herself and her career was over. By then, my own career was already taking off, and I completely ignored her." Dallas looked incredibly miserable and Selena was unsure if she should go hug her; she moved to it, but the way Dallas looked at her was enough of a deterrent.

"Mum and Eddie were busy managing my career and with Maddie, so Demi had to deal with it on her own. She fell in with the wrong crowd. Before we knew it, she was getting drunk every day. I mean pass out drunk, Selena." Dallas looked poignantly at her. "She was very good at concealing it. Her grades stayed up, she got up every day and went to school. It was as if nothing had happened and it continued for 3 years. I don't have a clue how she managed to do that. She was heading for disaster and when it happened, it was huge."

"Dallas, you don't have to tell me anything, OK?" Selena told her friend.

"She kept drinking, fighting her depression all by herself. We all were happily oblivious until one day my Mum found her on the floor of her bathroom; she slashed her left wrist and was almost dead. The paramedics managed to keep her alive long enough until the doctors at the hospital could work on her. Nevertheless, her brain had swollen and she was kept on an artificial coma for a couple of days. You have no idea how worried we were. How heartbroken. Was her life so terrible she would rather kill herself and hurt us so much? I've never been able to understand her decision. When she woke up, Mum and Eddie, and the doctors were so worried she would be unstable, in a deeper depression, you know."

Dallas got herself a glass of water, which Selena was sure was just an excuse to pause and collect her thoughts. "Instead, it was the total opposite. She was happy, she was glad she had survived; she couldn't be more apologetic she had tried to kill herself. I resented her for a while; hating both her and what she had done. Then she has to go and join a convent. For me it was the last straw. I thought she was insane; I even tried to have her committed. I went to talk with the Mother Superior, and it was she who helped me understand what Demi had done was not about me, but a cry for help from her. Mother Superior Murphy opened my eyes; for the first time since she was injured, I was ready to sit down with my sister and really talk. She explained to me how she had reached that decision and I was certain then she was doing the right thing. I was certain she was convinced God had spoken to her."

"It was then that you and I met. You were such an amazing girl, and you reminded me so much of Demi that I took to you immediately. One of the happiest moments in my life was when I realized you liked me too, and when we really got to know each other, I was amazed at how wonderful you are."

Dallas paused, and Selena took the chance to speak. "Dallas, I'm sorry, I didn't knew anything. I mean, you never told me. I totally get why you didn't; this was private family matters. I'm sorry if this is making you uncomfortable." Selena sighed. "I can't explain it, Dal, but ever since I saw your sister, I felt deep in my heart of hearts that she was the one for me. I know it's hard to understand, hard to believe even, but trust me, she belongs with me."

"I knew you would try something like this, Selena." Dallas said vehemently. "I knew you would be all over her. She's totally your type, but I was stupid enough to think I could trust you."

"Dallas, please don't say that! You're my best friend and I would never do anything to hurt you on purpose!"

"What you would or wouldn't do doesn't matter Selena." Dallas said wearily. "The fact is you did it. Have you ever wondered why I was always so adamant about rebuking your advances?" Before Selena had a chance to answer, Dallas continued. "It was because to me, you are my third little sister. I found the mere thought of having sex with you nauseating because you and I may not share the same blood, but we're still sisters!"

Selena realized that deep down she had always known how Dallas looked at her. She was at a loss of what to say and the short dancer refused to meet her stare. After a little while, she continued.

"Demi told me that last night you were so drunk you were ready to sleep in the clothes you were wearing. Being the caring soul that she is, she changed you into your pajamas. She says you asked if you could kiss her. She thought you meant a goodnight kiss on the cheek, but instead you examined her tonsils with your tongue." Dallas looked out the window before continuing. "She says she felt an amazing connection to you. She thinks you might be her one. I trust her enough to know that what she feels is true."

"So I'm not going to stand in your way, Selena. Demi told me she had been having doubts about her vocation. She feels deeply saddened she won't be able to fulfill her commitment to the Magdalene Sisters, since they helped her when she needed them, but she knows now that it wasn't what God wanted for her."

"I don't know what to say, Dallas. I know it must be hard for you. You must believe me, I never intended for any of this to happen." Selena spoke with conviction. "I don't know if I can understand what happened but, honestly Dallas, I have never felt like this in my entire life. I can't explain it, but I know I love your sister. I guess it must be hard for you to understand, but please, Dallas you know me, I will never do anything to hurt her."

"I have no idea what to believe, Selena. I hope you are right. I hope you are in love with my sister. I hope you never hurt her, she has gone through so much as it is."

Selena chanced a little smile; she thought she saw a glimmer of hope. "So, you approve of us dating?"

"Of course I don't fucking approve! Are you fucking broken?" Dallas screamed at her so loudly Selena almost jumped out of her skin. "I know it doesn't matter what I say to you because in the end you will do whatever the fuck you want, it's your way. I'm just telling you that I will not stand in your way. But God help you if you hurt her, Selena, the world is not big enough for you to hide if you hurt her."

Selena could feel tears escaping her eyes. Ever since she was a little girl, she had dreamt of falling in love. She had never expected that falling in love would hurt one of the dearest persons in her life. She had no idea what to do. "Dallas—"

"I'm going to my room to try to sleep. Our house is at your disposal." Without looking at Selena, Dallas walked away.