Chapter 8

Saint Theresa's Convent

Still Sister Demetria Munroe was sitting outside the offices of Mother Superior Helen Murphy, waiting to be granted audience. She was clad in her habit, and while getting dressed in the morning she had gotten terribly sad; this was going to be the last time she would wear it.

She sighed tiredly. She still marveled at the way things had developed after her talk with Selena. They had kissed for almost an hour, but Selena had respected her wish not to go any further until her situation was cleared.

When Demi's parents came back from town, they found them waiting in the living room, holding hands. Demi had been just a little concerned about breaking the news to them, but Selena had been emphatic about having Demi's back. They both had been greatly pleased with the way Dianna and Eddie took it. Both were a little bit stunned to say the least, but in the end, they were extremely supportive of her choice. Even Maddie had been very happy about it, she said she had always loved Selena, and was very happy to have her as another sister.

Dianna had tried to speak with Dallas, but the older Munroe was adamant; she would not stand in the way of the two young lovers, but she was not happy about it. Demi could actually understand her beloved sister's objections, for they had to do mostly with how Demi was coming from a very difficult moment in her life. Still she believed she was doing the right thing; she was in love with Selena and she wanted to spend the rest of her life with her. She was terribly sad; she loved her big sister dearly and had always looked up to her, and hoped that with time Dallas would come to terms with her new relationship. She just wished she accepted it soon Selena was feeling miserable too. They had a very tense dinner that night.

The very next day she had placed a call to Saint Theresa's Convent in Massachusetts, one of the homes of the Magdalene Sisters of Perpetual Adoration. She asked to talk to Mother Superior Helen Murphy and explained the situation to her via telephone. She couldn't gauge her reaction through the phone, but she had a feeling she had been expecting it. At the end of their conversation, the Reverend Mother had let her know that in order to make it official, they had to speak in person.

She would admit she was a little nervous about this. Even though she had told Selena she thought the Reverend Mother was going to be fine about her leaving the order, she couldn't help but being just a tad anxious.

Suddenly the door opened, and she was ushered to meet with the Mother Superior, who obviously was dressed exactly like Demi, with the little exception of the scapular she was wearing. As the nun who granted her access closed the door behind her, Demi took a seat in front of the desk of the Reverend Mother, who had a stern expression on her face. Demi felt a little fear.

She watched the middle-aged woman, whose age Demi estimated to be around 50, 55 years, as she went through a file, scanning the pages slowly. She was tall and lean, with shoulder length blonde hair and a sharp face. Dallas had once called her an old battle-axe, but that was just her trying to make light of a situation. Thinking about her sister brought forth another sigh from her; what happened with Dallas was just too sad.

"Feeling well, Sister?" Mother Superior Helen Murphy asked. She had always treated her very formally, even though Demi could always feel it wasn't out of anger, just the Mother Superior being a little out of touch with the younger generations.

"I'm fine, Reverend Mother, a little under the weather, perhaps."

"Well, it would be inappropriate for you to be jumping up and down in happiness today; we have never been anything but good to you, Sister." The Reverend Mother looked at her, speaking dryly.

"Of course not, Reverend Mother!" Demi said concerned. "I'm truly grateful for everything the Magdalene Sisters have done for me. Please don't ever doubt it, Reverend Mother! I'm just a little worried about all that I'm going through."

"Hmph." She responded while her eyes returned to the paperwork.

Demi felt a little uncomfortable with the silence, so she reverted to old habits, took the Rosary hanging from her belt, and started praying.

Finally, the older nun took out a pen, and stamped a signature on the papers. "There is no need to be afraid of me, child, I'm not mad at you." The Reverend Mother's voice was peaceful. "I would be lying to you if I told you we didn't anticipate your early departure from our order. That does not mean we did not loved having you here. We Magdalene Sisters have always been extremely happy to help young girls in distress. Both Father Callahan and I always had our doubts about your true commitment to the Order, but we knew you needed our help and it was our duty to do so. I also would be lying if I don't tell you I had always hoped the Holy Spirit came to you and you would stay with us, but this path isn't for everyone, child."

Demi was conflicted; she could feel the beginning of tears in her eyes. "Reverend Mother, I do not know what to say. I have no words to express how grateful I am to both u and Father Callahan, and the Sisters in general. I have no idea what my life would have turned out to be if you wouldn't have accepted me. You gave me purpose and path when I needed them the most, you embraced me with all my faults, and I will be forever in your debt." Demi's voice was full of emotion. "I understand how difficult it must have been for you to accept me joining, knowing as you did that it perhaps wasn't my true calling. Reverend Mother, I want you to know that it was never my intention to deceive you; I really believed this was the path God intended for me. I joined the Sisters pure of heart, and I consider that in my time here, I have grown both as a servant of God and as a human being; even though I know I shouldn't be the one judging this. I have learned very much about myself and I'm sure that this time has not been wasted. The Sisters have given me clarity, purpose, reflection, love, and acceptance. I have learned so much from you, and I have made friends here too. My only regret is that I have to renounce my commitment, but I honestly feel this is in the best interests of us all."

Mother Superior Murphy actually looked touched by Demi's words. "There, there, child, you don't have to feel so terrible about this. I've told you we always knew there was a distinct possibility you would not be called to remain with us, and yet knowing it we took you."

"Yes, Reverend Mother, I'm very glad u did, you saved me from myself."

The Mother Superior smiled at her. "No, child, we merely helped you. We have always believed everyone makes mistakes, but in the same manner, everyone is entitled to a second chance, and that is what we have given you. In your previous life, you might have done things you have regretted, things that could have haunted you into doing something stupid. However, it does not matter, in God's eyes you will always be a blessed child and he has already forgiven you. What I hope that you will always remember, what I hope you have gotten out of your stay with us is that you are allowed to make mistakes and you are allowed to fall. But you aren't allowed to let those mistakes destroy you; you are not allowed to not stand up."

"Everything that you have gone through, even if you do not understand, has helped shape the amazing young woman standing in front of me; the very good and the wickedly bad. Perhaps you do not understand why did you had to go through so much at such a young age, but the Lord never burdens us with more than we can carry. Those choices you made when you were younger, which you know now where bad ones, helped make you the good, sensible, caring soul in front of me. Whatever happens in your life, child, I hope you will always remember this; we are obligated to try to live our lives to the fullest. It's what the Lord wants from us; to be good, to be happy, and to try."

After the wonderful way the older nun had spoken, Demi had the urge to unburden her soul. "I've made some pretty regrettable choices in the past, Reverend Mother. I did things I shouldn't have done, chose paths I shouldn't have, acted older than my years. When I woke up, after what I did, I really felt that God had spoken to me, that he wanted me to come here and dedicate my life to him."

"Maybe, child, what the Lord wanted was for you to come here and seek help, but perhaps, in all his wisdom, he wanted you to follow a different path other than a professed life. There are millions of ways to serve Him and praise his name. I am sure you will find your way soon. Or perhaps you've already have; to love another person is to see the face of the Lord."

"Even, Reverend Mother, if the person one loves is not the exactly the kind that doctrine believes is approved?" Demi asked shyly. This was what she had feared the most; letting the Reverend Mother know she was in love with a woman. She felt she had danced around the subject delicately, but she couldn't help but bite on her lower lip timidly; her need for approval from the authority figures in her life had always been strong.

Mother Superior Helen Murphy was not a very old woman, but she was a very wise, old, soul. She could see this beautiful child in front of her was tremendously apprehensive. And she could understand it. "Demetria, do you think our Lord made a mistake when he made you capable of feeling like you do?"

"I'm sorry, Reverend Mother?" Demi said confusedly.

"Yes, child," The Mother Superior continued, her voice full of confidence. "Our Lord did not made a mistake when he allowed us to have all kinds of feelings. I know our Church has not distinguished herself through the ages as being the most forward and tolerant. However, one thing is what a bunch of old men in Rome think, and another is what we, in the trenches, believe. We knew when you first came to us that you had a preference for, let us say, your own kind. We always know these things for we have to decide if a candidate is joining for the wrong reasons. This is not a buffet, you know."

It was probably meant to be a severe statement, but Demi could see the twinkle in the corner of the eyes of the woman she would always consider her Reverend Mother, so she couldn't stifle a small chuckle.

"Now, now, child, don't go making fun of me." She was all seriousness once again. "You see, in the eyes of our Lord you are not a girl in love with a girl. You are just Demetria, in love with Selena. The only thing that matters to him is that you live your life correctly, and to spread love in the world."

Demi was touched, she hadn't misjudged the woman in front of her, she was truly born for the role she had, shepherd to a flock. Speaking of shepherds, she had to ask. "Reverend Mother, what about Father Callahan? Is he disappointed in my choices and me? Is that why he's not here?"

"No, child, he is completely in agreement with those choices; he always had a sweet spot for you in his heart. He could not be here to say goodbye in person because of a personal previous commitment; his niece is getting married this weekend. In fact, some of my previous words, he spoke to them to a young nun not unlike you who doubted her own path. She chose differently, alas."

Demi was intrigued. "Reverend Mother, of whom are you speaking?"

For a brief moment, Mother Superior Helen Murphy looked 40 years younger. "Now, now, child, it's not acceptable behavior to pry on your elders, is it?" She smiled sweetly as she extended Demi a piece of paper. "This is your letter of acceptance. This makes your return to the secular life official. Be sure to live a good life; you are a blessed child."

Demi took the paper with trembling hands. As her trusted superior said, it was official; two equally important, yet extremely different parts of her life were over. However, the Reverend Mother was right; Demi had gotten through it all, she had gotten to the lowest she could possibly be, and there was nowhere to go but up.

"Thank you for everything, dear, beloved, devoted, Reverend Mother." Demi said, her voice almost choking on the emotion. "Be assured that I will strive to live the rest of my life worthy of the trust you set down on me. I have but one special request to make of you before I leave; I know it's out of protocol, but I would really like if I was allowed to say goodbye to Sister Stephanie. In my years here, I've grown to appreciate her company, and I consider her a dear friend. I know I'm abusing your generosity, but I would also like your permission to visit her on occasion."

The Reverend Mother looked at her perplexed, and Demi was afraid she had gone too far, forgotten her station. Before she could speak again, her old superior did so. "What do you mean, child? There is no Sister Stephanie among us at this time."

Could the Reverend Mother be playing mind games with her? Demi dismissed that notion almost before she finished thinking it. A woman of her stature would never mock her in such a cruel form. "But, Reverend Mother, I'm most sure she is. I've been speaking with her almost since I got here. She is a fair skinned, tall, brunette. She has full lips and a beautiful voice. Surely you must know of whom I speak."

Mother Superior Helen Murphy was silent for a long time, but Demi could see something change in her demeanor; she was looking at her more intently, as if she was gazing into her soul. "You are truly blessed, my child. We have not had a Sister Stephanie here since the 1960's. A young nun like you described was part of this Convent back then, but sadly she passed from tuberculosis when she was around your age." She crossed herself silently.

Demi was stunned! "But, Reverend Mother, I'm sure I met her! We spoke regularly!"

The Reverend Mother smiled sadly. "Perhaps you did, child. You know the Lord works in mysterious ways. Now, it's time for you to take your leave, you do not want to keep your Selena waiting in the car by the gate anymore." She said lively while standing up and walking around to where Demi was also standing up. "You will always have a house here with us; you will always have friends in Father Callahan and me." They embraced, and Demi walked out of her office and out of the convent slowly.

Selena was waiting for her at the gate of the convent, a good 300 yards from the proper. She was completely mystified about what the Reverend Mother had said to her, but when she was about to reach the gate, she felt like someone was watching her. She turned around, and she saw her.

Standing on the top floor of the convent proper was Sister Stephanie! Demi was too scared to scream! Was her friend trying to do what she had done so long ago? She was just going to start running towards her, to tell her not to jump, when the most amazing thing happened.

Sister Stephanie's habit started to glow and gradually changed color until it was glowing a most untainted white. She slowly looked down, until their eyes met, and she was irradiating a sense of pure goodness that soothed her heart. Sister Stephanie smiled, and slowly spread her wings, wings that were multicolored and had a span of almost 12 feet from tip to tip. She kept their eyes locked and Demi heard Sister Stephanie's voice inside her head. "Nunquam vereor. Ego sum vobis."

There was an astounding brilliant light, and soon she heard Selena's concerned-laced voice. "Demi, Demi, answer me! Are you OK? You've been standing there for so long now!"

Demi looked around, still feeling Sister Stephanie's soothing presence engulfing her. She knew that she would always have her looking over her, and she was sure she would be able to take whatever life threw her way.

"I'm OK, gorgeous. Let's go home."

They kissed lovingly, while a small white feather slowly drifted to the ground.