In the fields that night, there was joy and celebration. The new hero had appeared, blasted Ridley, and happiness would soon return to the world for sure. Unfortunately, as Max would soon find out, you didn't necessarily need bad guys to have a bad time.
"C'mon!", said Max to an unsuited Samus Aran. She was once again in her large green sweater, burying her face in the collar somewhat.
"I..it's cool... I mean can't I wear my power suit?"
Max looked Samus in the eyes. "Samus, I was a lot like you once, believe me... but this is the golden opportunity to make memories. To laugh, to love, to cry... all of it... and if you don't do it now, then when everyone grows up and moves on, you'll get left behind and wish you'd participated."
Samus was a bit surprised at Max's sage words. "I don't want that to happen..."
Max took her hand and tugged on it. "Then come on! The Zeldas are throwing this big party for everyone, and you're gonna miss right out on it!"
Samus finally buckled and followed Max, but stayed close to him, as they walked to the center of the field. Our heroes were no longer at the Parapa site, but rather somewhere in the fields North of Saria Town. Stars were out, there was singing and dancing, and best of all, fresh air and free alcohol.
"Hey, there's our man!" said Mario as he reunited with Max. "You, my friend deserve all da beer you can drink! After all, can't let Link have all da fun!" he said as Link suddenly ran across the field, stark naked and wearing his hat over his privates.
"The fairies! The fairies are revolting! Get out of my head, Spryte!" Everyone watched the spectacle until Link dissappeared behind the tall grass. Then they went back to mingling.
Mario looked back at Max. ". Okay maybe not... but what about you, Turtle? Maybe it'll help?"
Samus shook her head. "Thanks Mario, but I don't think..." It was around this point that Max informed Mario that she was Samus all along.
"Samus, eh?" said Mario as he looked her over, then nudged Max. "Yeah. Get her nice and drunk, man."
"I am not getting drunk! You guys got me out of the suit, but I'm not comfortable going any further just yet!" she said, a little distressed.
===========One hour later====================
"And then, the hatchling... I swear to god I'm not making this up... the Metroid actually GAVE ME POWER! It was like... hurting, but backwards..."
Max and Mario laughed at the spectacle of a tipsy Samus Aran. Then, she got a little crazy.
"...What happened next? Why do I always try to forget... why do I... oh yeah... Now I remember..."
Max backed up a little. "Uh-oh... I know this..." Mario was too curious to back away though.
"The bitch. The BITCH FUCKING KILLED IT! IT SHOT AT IT OVER AND OVER LIKE IT DIDN'T MATTER! LIKE IT WAS A FUCKING BUG OR SOMETHING! AND THEN.. And then..."
Mario suddenly got very scared. "Mama Mia..."
Samus made a motion with her right arm, as if it was her cannon. "But I had the BITCH'S RAINBOW BEAM! AND I TURNED IT ON HER AND I WAS ALL LIKE TAKE THIS BITCH! POOOOOOOWWW ZZOOOOOOMMM!" Samus was flinging several expletives even I won't repeat at this point. Then, she gently sat down after telling her story. "And that's why Zebes doesn't exist anymore. Wanna hear more?"
Max wasn't a very heavy drinker, but when he did drink, he managed to keep it down... Samus however quickly became the life of the party, and it looked like she was ready to leave... "Samus... If you tell them all your adventures tonight, what will you tell them later?"
Samus smiled. "I'll tell them... about how I'll tell them..."
Max smiled and took her hand gently. "Why don't you sleep on it?"
Mario butted in. "Aw come on, man! Aren't you gonna stay for the drinking contest?" Max shook his head, but Samus seemed interested.
==============yet another hour later============
Mario was cheering the two combatants, while everyone else had pretty much passed out in the fields. "How ya doin, challenger?"
Samus hiccuped but responded. "More."
Max was very tipsy, but he could at least see straight ahead. "Heh... I love you..."
Samus laughed. "I know... I'm hot... hehehe... why don't you make a move or something?"
Mario was encouraging, but not obnoxious. "eh, let's not for now and pretend we did, eh?"
Samus looked over at Mario. "You're a bunch of babies..." she raised her glass one more time, then finally collapsed. The glass never reached her lips. Max was the winner.
Mario sighed. "Thank god, somebody won... we can go... c'mon, Max. You can stay at da castle again with us!"
Max nodded. "I... can I bring gorgeous?"
Mario giggled. "Sure... looks like we'll need to carry her though..."
Max nodded. "I'll take her ship to the castle, you carry her in.."
Mario stopped Max. "ahhh, I think I should drive..."
Max couldn't remember a whole lot of what happened that night... at some point during the trip home, Samus woke up and started flirting with Max... everything else was a blank...
======================the next morning=======================
Max woke up in a luxurious bed the next morning, feeling suprisingly well, like he got a full night's sleep. No hangover, no headache. Still, something seemed very wrong, even as the cheerful mushroom kingdom sunlight cascaded through the window and on his face. "woooo... what happened last night..." Then, he realized he was completely naked. "Did I do this?"
Max was very confused about the whole situation, then finally glanced over at the other side of the queen-sized bed. A mess of golden blond hair came out from under the covers. Max was afraid to pull the sheet down, but he did, and came to find the scary truth. Underneath was Samus, sleeping peacefully, and completely naked. Her body was drop-dead gorgeous, but Max wasn't thinking about that. Just how much trouble he was in...
"it's okay... it's okay... nobody needs to know what happened..." He said to himself... "Maybe she'll remember even less..."
"Good mooooorrrnning!", said Mario as he came in with breakfast. "I made so-Mama Mia! You guys have fun last night?"
Max's expression just sank. "I'm gonna die, and Samus is gonna kill me."