"Max, I don't see what you're worried about", Mario called out, trying to keep up with Max as he walked through the hallway and out the front door. "She's obviously into you, and she told you to make a move herself!"

"Mario don't you get it?", Max finally shouted, "She was drunk! We both were! Any minute now, she's gonna wake up, and if she finds me, I'm gonna die. I need to get out of here!"

Mario shook his head. "I dunno man... but if you really think dis is so bad..."

"It is!"

"Then maybe there's a few places in the Kingdom you can hide at."

"Mario, you are a lifesaver."

After sadly boarding Max on a train to a small Animal Crossing town called Applejack, Mario went back to the castle. There, in the mess hall, he found Samus eating a bowl of cereal. She was wearing panties and a T-shirt, and her hair looked a little messed up. When she heard Mario's footsteps, she tried to focus intently on her cereal and not make eye contact.

"Oh, good morning", Mario called to her.

"Hnnn, morning Mario... where's Max?"

Mario sighed. "Well, after what happened last night, he got scared and ran off. Stupid, huh?"

Samus looked up. "Huh? What are you talking about?"

Mario sighed again. "He thinks he had sex with you last night when you were both drunk... I don't think it's dat big of a deal, but..."

Samus stared at Mario in disbelief. "It's a wonder how you relate to women... ...no, nothing happened.", Samus explained, eyes closed and leaning her elbow against the table, still a bit drowsy. "I stumbled into his room cause I was drunk and horny, but he kept complaining, then when he finally agreed, he fell asleep. It was very disappointing... ...eh, but maybe it's better that way..."

Mario looked up. "Wait... you mean you never even did it?"

Samus shook her head. "No! God, imagine if we had… uh, where is he?"

"Went to get a house of his own in Applejack."

Samus stared at Mario. "Mario, I gotta find him and set things straight."

Max emerged from Tom Nook's store. His small stint as a grocery delivery boy was over, and he could now procrastinate on his debt to Nook. He smiled in the warm sun of the morning, and the bright colors of the earth. Then, much to his dismay, Tom came waddling up to him.

"Hello, Max! Well well, enjoying your new pad, hmmm? I'll admit it isn't much, but you seem to know my financial drill..."

"Is that why you're here?" asked Max. "I can't pay that all back in a day..."

Tom chuckled. "hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! No, actually, there's a telephone call for you at my shop. It sounds like Super Mario on the other end! Hurry and answer it, hmm?"

Max followed Tom back to his store and picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey, Max! How's ya new pad?"

Max smiled. "Mario! How's things over at the castle? What about Samus?"

Mario decided he shouldn't have to tell Max everything. "She's headed your way actually."

Max went flush. "W...What? What do I do?"

"Just stay calm, I think it's alright... Max? You there?"

The train left the station, and Max was on board.

"So, he left just about an hour ago?"

"Yes yes! Seemed something flustered, hmmm? I hope his debt didn't intimidate him too much, hmm?"

Samus stood back up from kneeling to the little raccoon. "Or something else... did he say where he was headed?"

Mr. Nook nodded. "I think he went back to the Mushroom Kingdom... flower town, actually."

"Thanks..."

Samus was growing more and more worried. She chased after Max, but everytime she got close, he had left again, and made more work for her. Eventually, this tirade led Max to a land of smoke and lava... He came across a large ominous castle with a huge door. He lifted the knocker and made noise with it.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" said a grumpy voice inside. Max hoped he wasn't doing something even worse.

"B..Bowser?"

"Yeah, that's me. Hey, you're that new Captain N kid, aren't ya?"

"Y-yes... um... I need a place to stay, and... "

Bowser suddenly broke into an unusual smile. "Yes! Please, come on in! I just CAN'T understand why nobody wants to visit here anymore! Do I smell or something?"

Bowser clearly wasn't much of a villain these days, and when he was it was mostly out of boredom from both parties. His castle was still dark and scary, but Bowser himself was a lonely sort. His kids grew up and moved out, leaving the tyrant to himself. "Sorry the place is kind of a mess", he grunted. "So... why come here of all places?"

Max looked down. "I think I did a very bad thing..."

Bowser smiled. "Kid, I'm King Koopa. You can't top me."

Max sighed. "Ever get SAMUS ARAN drunk and take advantage of her?"

Bowser then gulped. "Uh... no.."

Max continued forward across a lava bridge, and Bowser now felt a little more scared. "She's not gonna blow my castle up if she finds you... is she?"

Max shook his head. "She's not gonna find me here... nobody will... I'm just gonna stop being Captain N. After all, it looks like you need a protege..."

Bowser stomped his foot. "No way, kid. I'm sorry, but... no! What the hell! Listen to yourself! Max, you have the potential to be a great hero, and if you don't have the BALLS to confront her now and work this out, then you might as well bend over now, because you're gonna get nailed like that for the rest of your life! Do you understand?"

Max shook his head. "But what if I make it worse?"

Bowser put his big mitt on the kid's shoulder. "If you somehow make her even angrier, then you can stay here with me. Otherwise, you gotta make your peace."

Max sighed. "A-alright... I'll try..."

Bowser smoked a pipe and did his best Yoda impersonation. "Do or do not... there is no try."

Max thanked Bowser for his advice and returned to Peach's castle. When he arrived, Mario was home, but Samus was not.

"Hey, stringbean! Where ya been?"

Max looked miserable. "Bowser said I should face Samus... so here I am."

Mario looked happy. "Good! I'm glad you finally agree with me! I'll call her now and let her know..."

The next hour or so was the longest hour of Max's life. He thought about what he would say to her, what she'd say back... and the best escape route if she suddenly went all screw attack. Then, finally, she entered. Max, against his better judgement, ran toward her.

"Hey! There you are!", said Samus quite happily.

Max was nearly in tears when Samus embraced him. "Samus, I didn't mean it... oh my god Samus I'm so sorry..."

Samus sighed. "Well, you're here now that's all that matters..."

Max shook his head. "No, mean about last night... we..."

Samus went wide-eyed, then looked sternly at Mario. "He didn't tell you... Max, you silly goose, I remember more than you do about last night, and let me tell you: NOTHING HAPPENED."

Max looked up. "Nothing?"

Samus nodded. "We talked some, got naked, then you fell asleep. It was kinda funny."

Max started laughing. "Oh... hehe... well I guess we're okay then! Oh god, Samus I love you!" and he hugged her tightly.

Samus smiled, nervously, "You're not so bad yourself... Max..." and her smile slowly faded to a look of horror.

"Oh god what have I done..."