"What do you mean he's missing?"
Mario tried to explain to Peach as best as he could. "Well he's not totally unattended. Luigi is looking afta him. Last time I heard from him, they were on their way ta Starlight Heights..."
Peach thought to herself. "The sixth of the eight main provinces..." The mainland of the Mushroom Kingdom consisted of a small continent with five provinces (better known to Max as the original Super Mario Bros' Worlds 2-4 to 7-1) and two islands. (One relatively flat island, Worlds 1-1 to 2-1. The other was a large hilly island on which Bowser once took over Toadstool Fortress. Worlds 7-4 to 8-4. some "worlds" were at sea.) Max and Luigi, therefore were somewhere around world 6.
"Anyways, Bowser is gonna try ta meet up with em at Toadstool Fortress, but they're coming for you, so he kinda needs ya there." Mario explained.
Peach's face lit up, with a big grin across her face "Really? Are you serious! YYYESS! ! I hardly ever see that big turtle anymore! It gets so boring around here... when is he coming?"
Then, Bowser burst through the double doors of Peach Castle. "RIGHT NOW! So, is everyone ready?"
Mario did his best butler impersonation. "Ya captive awaits".
Peach ran off towards Bowser and his clown car. "Wish us luck, Mario!"
Jazzy music was practically running through Max's head as he leaped from grassy tree-like platform to platform. The stars were still out, and clouds hung below the stalks... The landscape around them was absolutely dreamlike; huge mushroom-like trees rising up and penetrating the clouds below, with stars and moonlight above. Luigi was close behind, and enjoying every minute of it.
"Look! There's the castle! Maybe Peach is inside..."
Luigi nodded and followed him. He knew for sure that she wasn't (was she ever?), but was enjoying the adventure too much to care. Of course, they entered the capitol castle of Starlight Heights, but it no longer held lava, firebars, or even any old maze spells. In fact, it looked kinda nice.
"Hmm... is this some sort of trick?", Max asked of Luigi.
Luigi thought for a moment. "Well, recall dat dis all happened along time ago. It appears that this realm is still at peace. If ya want Bowsa, we must continue on ta Toadstool Fortress."
Max nodded. "Well dis aint as fun!"
Luigi mumbled. "Great. He's talkin like us now.."
On the way to the unfortunate fortress, Max and Luigi entered some new worlds, including Halloween world, which had a token spooky theme to it, and everyone (and enemies) dressed in costumes. After defeating Kount Koopa, The plumbers were able to pass, and reach the somewhat more inviting Christmas World, where it was always snowy but heartwarming. Before leaving, Luigi picked up a super mushroom. When he ate the fungus, his whole body flashed different colors, and when the smoke settled, he had grown to Max's height and looked much stronger. "Alright! let's get goin ta the fortress!"
In the seventh province, Max and Luigi faced jumping cheep-cheeps, a sea full of bloopers, and a few hammer brothers. Thankfully, they found some fire flowers. When they picked these rare flowers, Their overalls and hats turned to a badass white, and they now had the upper hand against their foes. "Good", Luigi said. "Dese suits will also offer some resistance ta fire."
"Hey, Luigi, eva notice how da fireballs work in da wata?"
"Luigi scratched his head. "Yes… I have found dat very strange..."
They eventually forgot the oddity as they finally approached Toadstool Fortress. Inside, this world 8-4 did not resemble its more peaceful counterparts. Indeed, the lava and firebars were back in full force. Somehow, in Max's mind, he still knew exactly what route to take to reach Bowser.
Luigi's enthusiasm was starting to diminish as he realized the adventure would soon be over, and he'd have to go back to staying behind because apparently Mario was never in danger like he was. So much bullshit out of that tiny man's mouth... Luigi got tired of it sometimes. He knew Mario just worried about him, but why wouldn't he just... argh... The thoughts brewed and churned in his mind, as the green plumber brooded. "Mario… you fool."
Max approached the bridge, and found Bowser with Peach in a cage, sure enough. "So, Bowser, we meet again, for the last time for the first time... wait... dammit..."
He tried again, Bowser patiently waiting. "Uh... We meet again... again... no hold on...
One more time. Bowser had a giant sweat drop on the back of his head. "When last I saw you I was but a learner... now I am... fuck..."
Bowser lost his patience. "Just fight me already so I can dunk your head in the lava!", he said with a menacing smile. Said lava was situated much further below the bridge than one would think, and several fans were blowing cold air at the bridge's occupants, while removing the toxic particles. It was still unbearably hot in the room, though.
"Hope yer ready, cause I'm gonna clean your pipes!" Max screamed.
Bowser stood there looking at "Maxio", a bit dumbfounded... actually everyone was staring at him. Then Peach started snickering, followed by Luigi. Pretty soon, everyone was laughing at that stupid line.
Maxio just couldn't figure it out. "What? It was a perfectly good one-liner!"
That's when Bowser took the opportunity to clobber him on the head with his big mitts. Once again, Maxio went out cold. His outfit changed colors back to red and blue, while Luigi hovered over him, trying to wake him up.
"Hey, he's coming to! Yo, Max, are you alright? Do ya rememba anything?"
Max held his head in pain, trying to remember what happened. "Uh... why are we in a fortress? Why is Peach in a cage? … OWWW! OW WOWOWOWOWOWOWOW! FFFFFFFFFUCK THAT FLOOR IS HOT! WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA BURST INTO FLAMES!" he screamed, wiping sweat from his brow. Bowser certainly loved the dramatic effect of lava, but even he knew that you had to take convection into consideration. Thus, the fans and the depth.
Luigi's eyes, for the moment, lit up. "Max! You're okay!"
Max looked at Luigi, confused. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine as long as my shoes don't melt to the floor!... seriously, what's going on?"
Peach looked at Bowser. "Well, I guess you can let me out now." Bowser just stood there looking at Peach, with a wicked smile on his face.
"...Bowser?"
Bowser shook his head. "Like Mario said, it's been too damn long since I done this! You want out? Pray they can beat me."
"Aww man, how am I supposed to beat him? If only Samus was around... ...oh god, where is she? DAMMIT IT IS HOT IN HERE WHY CAN'T I HAVE FIRE FLOWER PROTECTION?" Max suddenly felt very incompetant when he no longer thought he was Mario, and had no idea what to think of the King of Koopas, who once gave him inspirational advice.
"Aw, too bad... Max doesn't wanna fight... guess it's all up to "second fiddle" now, eh?" Bowser sneered.
Luigi's expression suddenly changed, and he coldly, quietly approached Bowser. "Never call me that." And with that, he jumped over Bowser's attack, grabbed his tail, and swung him out of the fortress. Luigi then and there proved he was a badass.
"Hey! Oh god not you! Ow! I'm not a !", Someone had bounced off the flying Bowser and entered the room. The real Mario! He was standing at about Max's height, and dressed in white and red.
"Sorry I'm late, I heard that Bowser was getting carried away, but I guess Max here took care of it all by himself! Good work, kid!"
Max smiled and shook his head. "Oh no, don't thank me. Luigi is the one that essentially kicked his ass. I would appreciate being told what just happened though... and maybe a huge bucket of ice…", he said as he took off his fake mustache, the adhesive of which was already peeling in the heat.
"Eh, long story", Mario said. "What matters is it worked!"
"What worked?"
"Nothin. Let's just go home, eh? Samus's been worrying about you..."
Max sighed. "okay..."
Max sighed as he approached his house. With no recollection of his experience as Mario, most of the night as far as he was concerned was a total bust. When he heard Samus's voice though, he smiled to find her with her arms open, awaiting embrace.
"Hey... you had a long night, Max", she said as she held him tight. "Don't worry though, I had Simon to hang with..."
"Samus... what happened?" Max had to ask.
"You don't remember? Well, I'll tell you inside..."
OPERATION STATUS: COMPLETED
SUBJECT: PIRATE PRIME RANK 1 "RIDLEY"
Life force: 100%. awaiting conscious activation.
Waking... Waking...
"Sir... can you hear me?"
"Ow... god... I can still feel it...", the dragon said, his eyes half open, and his arms weakly rubbing his chest and belly.
"Yes, I'm afraid that area is going to burn for a little while until you have properly healed...", the laboratory pirate explained to his captain. "In the meantime, I suggest you rest, and-"
"I DON'T NEED REST!" Screamed Ridley as he jumped off the table and spread his wings, knocking the lab pirate to his feet. "I JUST NEED THAT LITTLE TURD'S HEAD ON A PLATE! HEAR ME, AS LONG AS MY CHEST BURNS, SO DOES MY HEART... IT BURNS FOR REVENGE!"
The lab pirate got up and tried to calm him down. "But sir, you can't! At your current rate, you can't even fly for more than a few seconds!"
Ridley grabbed him up and brought him to his face. "Then you better find someone to go for me, or I'll send YOU out there!"
The sniveling pirate nodded. "Yes, right away! I'll start making some calls!"
Ridley looked down at his status and sighed.
"Samus..."